Wanted: FRG

We PCS’d to our current duty station back in October and, at the time, I had high hopes of being part of an active FRG (Family Readiness Group).  With JD’s unit deploying I just knew that they’d have all of their i’s dotted, t’s crossed, and be "squared away".  I really believed that I’d arrive, JD would pass on our info, someone would call, and off I’d go.  I would attend meetings/functions, volunteer when needed, and meet other spouses in JD’s unit. 

That was, in reality, a fantasy.  Nothing more.  JD signed into his unit on Oct. 20th and would be here for almost two full months before deploying.  His unit deployed in the last days of October, but he was in contact with Rear Detachment on a daily basis.  He gave them my name and info on at least two occasions.  I waited, somewhat patiently, since JD was still here and I was not yet alone.  I did this against the advice of a very good (and wise) friend of mine who told me to be pro-active, pick up the telephone, contact Rear D, and make myself known.  Sometimes we all need a little encouragement to be the "I am woman, hear me roar!" type and she gave me that.  Temporarily, at least, as I still did nothing.  I didn’t want to step on any toes or come off as pushy.  I tend to have a loud bark behind closed doors, but I seldom have a bite.

Fast forward to December 13th.  JD was leaving and we were at the gym saying our goodbyes.  I still had not heard from anyone at his unit.  It wasn’t until almost three hours after we said our goodbyes that my cell phone rang and JD was on the other end (in the flight line, ready to load the plane) hurriedly giving me the name and number of my FRG Leader.  Now, I must say that I do believe he could have gotten this information for me earlier.  However, I think that he, like I, really believed that someone would eventually call.  Someone should have called.

Instead, I called her.  I knew it was important for someone to know that I would be traveling over the holiday and how to contact me during this time.  I left her a message and she called me back the next morning.  She was very nice and apologized for not calling sooner.  She simply did not know I was here.  Her husband had taken command in late September and the unit was gone one month later.  "It was a confusing time", is what I think she told me.  Yeah, tell me about it. 

See, I look at it like this.  As soon as that Change of Command was officially complete, he (the commander) should have made a large effort to have his FRG in order.  I realize that they were preparing for deployment, but with that said, that should have reinforced the importance of a solid FRG and information channel even more.  Aside from the email she sent me that day, I have heard from her only once.  And that was in response to my email letting her know that the kids and I were back in TX, safe and sound, after our Christmas break.

Thankfully, I am not a new (or young!) Army spouse.  I am okay and I will continue to be okay.  I have been doing this for fifteen years and am confident in my coping mechanisms.  Yet I can’t help but wonder and worry about the other spouses.  How many other new (to the unit) spouses are out there waiting for a call?  Longing for some kind of information or opportunity to connect with another adult?  For me, it really is just one more social outlet.  For someone else, it could be a life line.

I know that the purpose of an FRG is not to fill one’s social calendar.  It’s just an added perk I was looking forward to.  My real gripe is the lack of communication.  I have yet to receive any communication other than that which I initiated.  I volunteered to be a key caller and was told she already had one for my "section"(?).  Still, I do not know this person’s name or have any way to contact them. 

I happen to think that during this deployment calls could be made or emails sent (even if just once a month) to check on people and remind them that their FRG may be able to help them or direct them to help, when needed.  Hearing a friendly voice, or receiving a note via email, is sometimes all it takes to make someone feel that they are part of something and that they matter. 

Then again, maybe it’s just me.  How do you feel about your FRG (or service branch equivalent)?  Maybe it’s non-existent like mine or maybe you think they’re a little too busy for your taste.  I’d like to hear about it.  Whether it’s to vent (like me) or share positive experiences, tell me about it.

In closing, I’d like to say that whatever your experience, remember that there are a great many volunteers out there giving their time and making a real effort to keep people informed and engaged.  When given the opportunity, thank them.  Depending on the response and participation of it’s members, FRG leadership and volunteerism can often times feel like a thankless job.  Someone acknowledging their efforts may be just what they need to hear and give them the encouragement they need to continue giving their time to such a necessary organization.

About the Author


Dawn (redlegmeg) has been married to her Army husband for 19 years and is currently surviving his third deployment. She is a stay-at-home mom to four red-heads who keep her busy, but not necessarily sane. When she's not busy running kids back and forth and then back and forth some more, she enjoys volunteering, socializing with grown-ups, watching mindless TV, and reading trashy tabloids. The Army hasn't made her a pessimist, just a realist. At least that's her story, and she's sticking to it!

35 Comments on "Wanted: FRG"

  1. oh honey, you have opened a really big can o'worms. My FRG is so disfunctional, I was kicked out because I had the nerve to write her and ask why we weren't getting any information. I get my information from another FRG, that really works, but is 4 hours away from me. Her response – I didn't think it was for people like you… hm. When I offered to help, more than once, I was ignored. We had a group that had been in the Sand earlier and their wives were planning their homecoming, but they did it at the FRG meetings. At that time (before the extension) it was 6 months until our troops came home. I informed her (NICELY) that the rest of us don't enjoy sitting there listening to their plans. She thought I was nuts. of course, she has 3 or 4 people who attend the meetings now! as for phone trees, I volunteered for one a year ago. Still don't have a list, never got a call.
    To top it all off, she had her husband tell mine that we aren't really IN that unit anymore, just attached, so I should leave. Yeah, in the Sand, the 1st Sgt tells my old man that! Folks, that's wrong. He also told a jr. NCO that his mom is a pain in the butt for sending too many emails asking questions (she left too)
    So we left, and started our own group. We had our troops tell others that we are around, that we actually DO things like send packages to the troops. and we email each other, telephone each other and are THERE for each other. The one and only "rule" for our group is, you answer that call at 3am, you are THERE when another member calls, no matter where or when.
    I wish we could let those others know we are here. The ones who have told me flat out they want NOTHING to do with an FRG (prior deployment problems – all the former leader wanted to do was scrapbook… she was useless for information) I also wish our Rear Det people were responsive, but I'm afraid they aren't. I have tried to contact them about setting up video conferences… nada!! I know what an FRG could be, should be, and if I ever get the chance to be the leader, WILL BE. Information, support and a helping hand. That's all.
    Like I said. a Can O' Worms.

  2. airforcewife | January 27, 2007 at 4:20 am |

    The Air Force has a Family Support Center that takes care of things for everyone who deploys from here – regardless of squadron. The individual offices then do things to augment what the FSC offers.
    At McGuire AFB, the FSC is really on the ball and the MSGT who is in charge is constantly working to set things up, keep us informed, and notify us of things happening and benefits we may not be aware of.
    She really extends herself not only to organize functions, but also to know the various families and understand their needs.
    I'm not sure how the FRG works – is there a back door way to meet some of the other spouses and get your own sub-group started? Or is that considered high treason? I think you're right to worry about the younger wives who don't know the drill, it's scary they might not be getting the services they need.

  3. Our husbands sound alot alike! I asked my husband for months to ask around about the key wives in the unit (Marine Corps), and it wasn't until the Marine Corps ball (6 months after arriving at the unit) that I got in contact with the Family Readiness Officer, and that was because of a fluke! We somehow wound up sitting right across from her at our table. I still didn't get contacted until a few weeks ago…8 months after arriving with the unit. My husband hasn't been deployed, but I'm a fairly new wife (this is our first duty station), so I didn't know what was going on or how things were run!

  4. i do feel bad for oyu ladies who have had a bad experience with your FRG( or other term for other branches) My FRG was infact GREAT! i was lifeflighted 2 months into the deployment and the FRG leader and our REAR D commander bent over backwards to help in any way possible. When i came home they had set up that a wife from the unit made me and my children dinner for hte first 2 weeks. It was a life saver with 4 kids and 2 newborns and doing it alone . I got biweekly calls or emails and a monthly FRG meeting. If we ever needed any information we were told to call no hesitation no question is stupid unless its the one un asked. I hope you have a better FRG for your next go around.

  5. Well I went to my first FRG meeting and got nothing out of it. I am new to this whole army thing and I know nothing about military life. The only reason I found out about the meeting is that I overheard one of my husband's friend talking about it. He told me it was the next night. I went and they couldn't tell me anything. Then before we left they gave me the contact list of people I could call that could help me with any questions I have. The list had 5 names and numbers on it and my name was one of them. I nearly passed out! How am I one of the people you contact when I didn't even know this group existed until the day before and I know nothing about this. Me and my husband were laughing about it the next morning, but I told him it won't be funny when people start calling me and I am more lost than they are. Plus he is at a month long training right now and he was gone for about a week before they emailed me to tell me that they got there safely. I had talked to him at least a couple of times a day since he had left so I knew he was safe, but it took a week to email me to tell me. I hope it is better when he gets deployed in March.

  6. Let me first say that I'm sorry that your unit doesn't have their act together! I've had FRGs that functioned well, and then… not so well.
    I am of the mindset too where I'm fine, no matter what the FRG does. However, our last duty station was my dh's command… it was truly an eye opening experience. We were in a unit that did not deploy (thank God), but even after being a military spouse for 6 years, and having taken AFTB classes and reading all the info I could… I still felt underprepared for the reality of it. I was in a situation where I had to start one from the ground up. Terrifying. I can totally relate to the CDR's wife saying "it was a confusing time".
    Also, I was a very independent spouse, who before my dd's birth always worked FT. I had no volunteers to take the "leader" position so it was me! I had no choice in the matter. This fact is one of the things that irritates me about the army. I imagine many others feel the same, nevermind that you may have children, other commitments, a job, a life outside the army, feeling overwhelmed yourself… suddenly you are expected to "be a good wife" and take over this monumental task.
    All that said, I am confused as to why your offer of help would be ignored!? And it does speak to the quality of the CDR of the unit that he didn't have his ducks in a row for his wife before he left!!

  7. Dutch: it was ignored because she (1) wants to be SuperWoman. (2) my spouse out ranks hers now (went to Warrant School) (3) I don't follow her political ideas (4) I like information, she doesn't, or if she gets information, holds it to herself (power trip?)
    I agree, no one should be forced to do it. (another problem she had) but when someone volunteers..and then is not taken up on it (power trip again) after a while you give up. Why is it automatically the Cdr's wife, or the 1st Sgts wife, or the chaplain's wife?? It's not like THEY assumed command as well. We are no longer just an appendage to the spouse (or so they tell us.. ha ha hahahahahaha, I tell really good jokes) Find someone who WANTS to do it, can do it, and is ready to do it, and most importantly has time to do it!!

  8. I'm a relatively new Army wife, but I have been amazed at the differences in FRGs thus far. We had one in Germany that was on the ball about everything. There were always at least 20 spouses at the meetings. There were calls to see how we were doing. There were parties for holidays. We PCS'd in April and my new FRG is the exact opposite. There are maybe 5 wives at every meeting. I assumed that after the guys went to play, more wives would show up. I was wrong. The FRG leader works at least 50 hours a week, so, in my opinion, she doesn't have the time to do this. But, as the commanders wife, she is expected to do it. She has made comments about how she's not inclined to learn army things. My feeling is that if you are going to be in a leadership role, you should immerse yourself in Army knowledge because people depend on you to know. It's just poorly organized and there are very few events for the wives to go to. A local VFW has "sponsored" us and they are actually more supportive then the FRG. :) Oh well. I'm just lucky that I'm not completly FRG dependent and I'm not afraid to make the effort to contact my FRG leader and say "hey I'm just checking in…" I have learned with anything Army related it's best to go in with NO expectations. :)

  9. I know there are FRGs out there who welcome girlfriends and fiancees, but I wasn't lucky enough to find that when my fiance deployed. After a few brush-offs, I gave up.
    My sweetheart assured me I'd get better information from him anyway, but it would have been nice to have an Army-related support system of people who were going through the same thing I was.
    I came to military life relatively late, and have been very independent for a long time, so I shrugged it off. But I do worry about the younger significant others who really could use that support — and aren't getting it.
    This is only one of the ways the military encourages people to get married before they probably should, but that's a whole other tangent! :-)

  10. InTheAirForceAgain | January 27, 2007 at 11:17 am |

    I have to say I have been incredibly blessed with regards to Squadron Spouses' Clubs. We have been in 3 units in the last 2 years (the first 2 were training squadrons) and all have been very proactive in contacting me and encouraging me to get involved. I only recently did at our third unit (the active flying squadron). My husband just deployed THIS MORNING and the commander's wife already called to check in with me and offer her services once again! My key spouse, the DO's wife, called me last week to remind me of her offer of help and friendship. When I hear some of these horror stories I feel incredibly thankful. Keep your chin up ladies, there are some good ones out there! I wish you the best of luck finding them and hope my luck continues!

  11. LAW–What do you mean Chaplain's wife?! Do they get thrown in next in line or something? Or is that rare? That could be a little intimidating, since I am brand new.

  12. no, we had one of the chaplains volunteer his wife, because the admin NCO had volunteered HIS wife, young, two little kids under 5..

  13. My husband left today….I'm so miserable. We had less than a weeks notice & my world has flipped upside down. I don't know anything about support groups or meeting other spouses/ groups. I have a 3 year old & I'm thinking about the future months ahead…it's driving me insane. Does anyone have some advice on who to contact

  14. yes. Your Rear Detachment NCO should have the name of the FRG leader. Are you on or near a base? If so, go to Army Community Services, they'll have the names of some parents play groups. But start with the Rear Detachment NCO or the Commanding officer. Hang in there, Marie, we are here for you too. The first few days are lousy, go ahead and cry, yell whatever you need to do but if you can, try not to do it in front of your little one. Your little one needs to have an anchor right now. But when you are alone, or in the bathroom while the baby takes a nap… let 'er rip. and remember… we DO survive this. honest. Right folks??

  15. I've been on both sides of the FRG and it's no fun either way around. Both are lack of information. Sometimes you give your info, you think it's ok and the FRG leader gets half blank pages and no feedback.
    It's not easy but if you were really wanting to volunteer I say roar sista' roar…LOL

  16. Thanks for a little support…it definitely helps. I am not near a base as I am in VA & the nearest bases are in DC. Trying to get over there is a joke with this traffic. I just spoke to my husband & he says to contact the base to see what they can offer or what is available. He is happy that I am looking for help….he always considered me the 'hard' one in this relationship but admitting the need for support is the start. I may even look into going back to Miami where my best friend is for a short while. I just started to feel settled in my job again to have that pulled from underneath me. As a RN I can always find a job but don't like to have to quit when things don't suit my husband's job. I now am thinking #1 it's only 6 months, #2 my husband should be in a fairly safe post & #3 I only have 1 kid to worry about, so I am hopefully turning the 'stop feeling sorry for yourself/ things could be much worse' corner. I will follow your advise & appreciate your response. I look forward to any other input or advise I may find within this group.

  17. mismysailor | January 27, 2007 at 4:04 pm |

    Navy FRG's are called Ombudsman and after 10 yrs. I've had some good and some bad. It's never the FRG's I have a problem with, I only expect to be called if something terrible happens and you can only expect a call from me if someone dies. I understand the need for them but I've never found that I needed them. I come when we send the boxes and I contribute to homecoming but other than that I'm the invisible spouse no one ever sees but everyone knows is there if you need anything.

  18. I totally Agree with LAW it should not be something that is inherited by your husbands rank. I think who ever can and is willing to take on that responsibility and actual DO the job should be the one doing it. Right now our Capt is not married our LT is not married and no other wives in our unit want to have the "hassle" of being the FRG leader. I am carefully weighing out if i can actual do the job and still maintain snity with my 5 children to deal with..lol once i come to that decission with my husband i will return the Cpt's call about me assuming the post. I am only a Sgt's wife and that will prove problematic with higher ranking wives but Hey you didnt want to do it so deal with it being a lower ranking wife right?..lol

  19. I can totaly sympathize with most of these statements, I like the people in our FRG, but in 8 months we have had 3 diffrent leaders,
    They often are just as confused as us,
    I'm most grateful for the 3 other wives I met and muddle thru as best we can during our DH's deplotments, We do have a wonderful family laison from the Army that has given us all his home number, the poor man is swamped but so kind and helpful.
    And the most annoying thing in the world is a spouse who thinks in terms of my hubby outranks your hubby OOO PLEASE, who gives a rip, mines in the same sand box as yours…

  20. Phone call? I have been a military spouse for almost 4 years now and have yet to receive a phone call. I thought all FRG did was throw Halloween and Christmas parties for soldiers children. I have no children so many things I see posted are to help out Families, not the wife with no kids. Of course I realize how much harder the spouses with children have it. I just wish there was something out there for the ones without children. What kind of information is FRG responsible for?

  21. well, as far as I know they are to disseminate information by any way possible, phone, email, letter.. or carrier pigeon! ALL information, including everything forwarded by the rear det, and the commanders in the field.
    they are to be there to be a shoulder to cry on, help those who need it, make arrangements for parties if necessary, and help the spouses and families of the casualties. They should try to do activities FOR the troops, which involve as many members of the FRG as possible. There should be phone trees for people to get in touch, ideally one call a month, just to call in, make sure eveyone is ok.
    That's in an ideal world. Reality is something entirely different. unfortunately.
    ONLY a Sgt's wife?? don't say that again! My dear, the Sgt's run the army, officers just think they do. (my husband will tell you warrant officer's really do… ) Army wives DO NOT HAVE RANK – sorry to yell, but we don't. So when they try it.. remind them.

  22. Well where do I start?! My husband is a reservist pulled from his reserve unit to augment a new USMC unit that was formed this past summer. So I technically have two FRG's that should be contacting me. Ha Ha Ha. This is my second go around in the same situation. I have to say this time is a little (stretching here) better.
    I have come to have very little respect or patience with his home unit's FRG (Key Volunteers). They do not even recognize when people from the unit leave and don't bother to call. The only people I have had any luck getting information out of or help from are his home unit's admin folks – one of the Cpls felt so bad he gave me his home number because there was so much unfinished paperwork when my husband left.
    The Key Volunteer coordinator for the new unit he is attached to is somewhat helpful I guess. She has emailed us 4 times since then left (5 months ago). I have emailed her with two questions and have never heard back from her. I do realize she is new to the experience… so I do give her some credit. I had my husband ask for information as his pre-deployment meeting (they scheduled 2 days after the spouses were scheduled to leave…) They gave him a packet of information he sent home but it only had daycare numbers! We don't have kids yet but the best part is we do not live in NC so we couldn't use any of the information anyway – very few of the folks sent over live in NC! There was not a single number listed for a rear group, or any admin numbers listed. Yep I love the USMC KV & FRG networks! In my situation, and I know there are plenty more people in the same situation, there are several things that would really help.
    1. Acknowledgement from the home unit KV that some people are actually deployed.
    2. An occasional meeting or at least information sharing – and I am not talking about daycare or free food – that is great but what we really want is some information about the deployment and military issues.
    3. The new unit could maybe call or at least give us a number to call with questions or concerns!
    I left the country for a work trip for over a week – should have told someone other than my husband but when I emailed my KV with a question – there was no response so I have given up. Instead I hope if anything changes or happens my husband will be able to tell me. Fun!
    I should also add that yes, I have volunteered to help or be a KV – but have not had my offers taken up. It is true that I do not have a lot of spare time (two professional jobs and going to grad school) to really do much here at home and certainly not in NC, but I felt I should at least offer to hopefully get more information – of course that did not work! :) I am glad that I have been around for several years and that we have friends throughout the MC that have helped when I really needed answers or issues resolved.
    Thanks for the good discussions and topics. This site is always a great place to visit!

  23. I just need to make a few comments about the whole FRG…
    It is all about the INFORMATION and having that team to get the INFORMATION out. We shouldn't worry about stepping on toes just because we are looking out for ourselves and our families. If the system is broken try to fix it!!! We all can sit and complain about how it doesn't work or how I didn't get the info, but we need to step out of our bubbles and be more pro-active. Yes, sometimes the Soldier puts on his FRG Survey "Do not contact me re: FRG" Well guess what the FRG can make one call and when you talk to that Soldier you better make sure he calls his wife to let her know when his flight is coming in.
    I think we all remember how it was way back when, when fundraising was a big push. Times have changed and like I said before it is about getting the INFORMATION out so these spouses have the knowledge or know where to go to to get the knowledge.Every BN CDR and BDE CDR spouse or SGM Spouse needs to go to a monthly briefing that is where the info. chain begins and we have these GREAT people now, FRG Assistant (paid employees) to help out those FRG Leaders. Use them!!! that is what they are there for.
    Lastly… Accurate Rosters!!!
    I said it all. Keep up the good work :)
    Good Bless

  24. Teamsmith you are absolutely right regarding information gathering and processing out to the families and if it's broken take it to the chain of command. FRGs start with the commander and the FRG Assistant (as you said a paid employee)and then become the partial responsibilities of the participants and those holding positions (offices). My husband is Active National Guard and we are gearing up for our 3rd deployment. I must admit I was not involved with the FRG in either unit for the first two deployments. I thank fully have a very strong network of people around me and did not feel the need to venture out into the world of the FRG which from my vantage point (receiving periodic emails from them) seemed quite disfunctional. This third deployment is set for a mob date in April and is only a 16 man unit (an Embedded Training Team headed to Afghanistan). This unit was created for this mission so none of the spouse/families know each other. We had a meet and greet a few weeks ago with the families and soldiers as well as the FRG assistant that would be assigned to this team. She gaves us the option of creating an FRG although explained it wasn't manditory as this wasn't a permanent unit. (One thing to keep in mind is that unlike the Regular Army the Guard FRGs typically disolve after the deployment).As a group we decided to form an official FRG and low and behold they nominated me President as I have experienced 2 prior deployments and the entire rest of the team are 1st timers–I, the one person, that isn't really keen on FRGs, the one person who in the last deployment formed an anti-FRG FRG with several other spouses–for purely social purposes. I thought these women are insane–they don't want me runing this group—but here I was asked to take the lead and I must admit I was happy to do so. All that to say this:
    I have not been a big supporter of FRGs in the past but I am now in the position to make a positive impact on this FRG as well as other FRGs in our state. If you are not happy with your FRG, (and you have the time and energy) take a stand and go through the proper channels up the chain of command to get it solved. FRGs are suppose to be by the families/friends/civilians etc and for them. It's all what you make it.
    I'd love to hear from any of you as it gets kind of lonely as a Active Duty Guard wife who doesn't live near many active duty spouses.

  25. i know exactly how you feel about frg's. my husband is deployed and i have no rear d contact number no frg number nothing i went to the old unit and they moved i have no clue where they are or anything and im a new mom plus new to the military. I thought it would be ok for my huband to deploy that i would have a support group, i dont and im ready to move across the country to be closer to my family. we have been at the base with his unit for a year and a half and im still not being contacted by anyone not even when he left.

  26. armywife,
    You need to figure out what your husbands job is. Once you have that info, you can start making calls. Before he left he should have filled a form out with your info. on it. You need to make the calls!! Start from the bottom up go to ACS to get info. They are very helpful and they may be able to figure out where your husband is unit wise. Also when your husband emails you or calls you ask him what his unit is then you call the Rear D to that unit and make sure you get your FRG Leaders info. and call her and make sure you are on the email list so you can get info. You need to take the steps to help yourself.If the FRG does not have your info they won't know to contact you.
    I hope this helps you and good luck
    Where are you stationed?

  27. my husband is stationed at fort bliss, i had gone into the unit before he left and double checked all the information packets rear d and frg were suppose to have i think the bigger issue i am having is that his ex wife was co frg leader at one point in time and we didnt have a good relationship to begin with . i tried calling acs they have the old number to rear d no on answers it. ild love to ask my husband but he feels that it is too much for him to call or email me so we dont talk i email he doesnt return them i use to have the ssg phone number but it was turned off and so now i have nothing i am dealing with a one year old that is driving me up the wall and have given up with the military i no longer want to be apart of it in anyway, im done

  28. newlywed marine | March 1, 2007 at 7:56 pm |

    My husband, a marine, and I married a month ago and he left today for Iraq for 14 months. I live nowhere near a base and I have no idea how to find support. How do I find out what resources are available to me?

  29. wifeof deployedarmym | March 2, 2007 at 6:18 am |

    i know what you mean my husband has been deployed since august and we have not had any meetings or phone calls……great support for us frg is as good as i remember it

  30. armybratsoldierandno | June 6, 2007 at 1:36 am |

    I am sorry so many of you have had problems with your FRG. I am the FRG Leader for my husbands company and he is a Staff Sergeant and in a medical company with many officers, most of these wives did not want to take on the task of FRG Leader. Our husbands deployed in October and we meet on a regular basis. I just held a Mother's Day bruncheon for my wives as well it was a great day. I am always on call I tell them if they need anythign let me know or their Key callers. I can't believe an FRG leader said you were kicked out I don't believe that you are allowed to kick someone out of an FRG. That is inexcusable. I am sorry that you had to go through that and hope that you don't base one bad experience on future FRG involvement. They will not always be good but they won't all be bad. Good luck to all of you ladies.

  31. I hate the bad rep the FRG gets. I know there can be bad ones out there but I have been a part of a good one, and am now the Coordinator for it. I have been involved since January 2004 and am grateful for the experience.
    As with any volunteer group, there are going to be personality clashes. Just remember that this is for you and your family. Hang in, if you are getting any info. Start another group if things get really bad. You at least know that you are not alone in this.
    As for kicking someone out, no one should be unless they are violent and disruptive. If you are talking about a volunteer, then yes, they can be fired. There are steps to follow, if that is necessary.
    I will say that I am fortunate. My Commander is very supportive and I have an open door policy with him. I can call him anytime and I get an answer within hours. My military POC is awesome. He and I have become friends, and we work together on every issue and event. He even gave me an actual office on base and cell phone. I am not trying to brag. I just want those with bad experiences to know that it is not always bad.

  32. RedLegMeg | June 14, 2007 at 6:55 pm |

    Wow, Bonny, it sounds as if you are a real trooper and that you have the right kind of support. That is awesome!
    Keep up the good work and continue setting the standard!

  33. RedLedMeg,
    I also read your comments on the other message. Thanks. It's nice to know that someone else feels the same way. I am doing something right.
    Your words of encouragement are great. I think of the command as my boss but it's nice to know when a peer thinks I'm doing good.

  34. Like many here, I am not a new military wife, but this is the first deployment I've dealt with.
    I have been here since September. I have not received phone call or email from the FRG leader or the commander's spouse. I even went as far as to speak to a senior wife about this and she assured me my FRG leader would call within a couple of days. That was 3 weeks ago.
    My husband deployed with the advanced party, and has now been in theater almost a month. You would think someone would have thought it would be nice to call or email. Yeah…RIGHT!

  35. Ours is a hot mess. The leader is a bitch and I am actually banned from it for calling her one. She tried to get my husband in trouble. Whatever. No loss to me because I didnt really have anything to do with it. I volunteered at first and they had fundraisers and yet I NEVER knew about them. Oh well, hopefully when he gets back we can go the hell somewhere else away from this hot mess of a group. I didnt know you could actually be banned from frg and events. I wonder how many others have been. We could start a Kicked Out of the FRG club.

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