April is the Month of The Military Child.
Did you know that more than one million American children have at least one parent serving in active military?
A bit of history:
"The
Month of the Military Child is part of the legacy left by former
Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger, who died March 28, 2006. He
established the Defense Department commemoration in 1986."
As a parent of two children ages 3 and 5, I am quickly learning that each deployment, is a new experience for our family.
During my Husbands first deployment I had a little boy who was 20 months old and I was 7 months pregnant with a daughter.
When my Husband returned, he returned to a Son 38 months old, and a Daughter, 15 months old.
And Although I spent hours and hours with my children watching videos of Daddy, and looking at pictures of Daddy, and talking about how wonderful Daddy is…..I was worried.
So on the eve of our family reuniting. I was concerned . I had a 7 hour drive to mull over the details, and pray that my children would hug, and cling to their Daddy welcoming him home, and their little arms would squeeze his neck, and they would smooch him on his cheeks.
That 7 hour drive, was frightening on many levels. As there was some trepidation about reuniting as a Husband and wife, a couple, a unified unit. But even more, was the reuniting as a "NEW FAMILY". We were certainly a different family than what he had left.
So when we arrived at Fort Sill, I checked into the hotel, and called my husband (who was amidst pound 119 of his out processing paperwork).
Me: "We are here"
breathe……..
Him: "I will be there soon"
breathe……..
SO I sat on the window sill of the hotel room and waited for the government van.
My children opening every drawer in the hotel, removing the Bible, playing with the phone, climbing onto the bed.
And I prayed.
The van pulled up, and I could not see my Husband clearly. Everything fuzzy behind a sheet of wetness covering my eyes.
The cell phone rings.
Him: "I am here"
Me: "I know"
And I gathered my two children, and announced that Daddy would be coming up the elevator.
I prayed some more.
We stood outside of the elevator, and listened to its slow and noisy approach up the shaft, we heard the bell, and the sound of doors.
My son, was jumping up and down and was out of his skin screaming…"Daddy is home, we missed you so much, we missed you so long!!!!" And he ran to his Daddy almost knocking this man over with his joy and exuberance.
And my daughter teetered over to her Daddy, hugging him, her face dissolved into one large smile.
Prayers were answered for me.
Breathe….
Thank You children.
This brings me to another point however.
My Husband is currently at a military school for 6 months. The good news is we can visit, although the drive is a little daunting and prohibitive. And paying for us to fly is very prohibitive. It is only six months, we can do this. There are new challenges for our family to face. We have a five year old son who misses his Daddy, and a 3 year old girl who sat on her Daddy’s lap and cried the night before he left.
This 6 month school, will be followed by another long deployment to Iraq.
And to those on the outside I hear "Oh you will be fine, you have been through this before." And I will agree to that, however, this is a different.
A 3 year old and 5 year old require different things than my babies did. So Mom is back at the drawing board daily. Trying to maintain a level of normalcy, and sanity in our home.
I will say this, these children are becoming my heroes. They are resilient, and strong, and FLEXIBLE! They are my best teachers in this. They have adapted quickly, and I need to follow their lead at times.
I think we do need to join in celebrating our children and give them kudos.
Our Children have Brave Hearts.
*We at SpouseBuzz, would love to extend the invitation for you to join in the discussion in the comments. Thank your children and share how brave and wonderful our military children are.
About Rachelle
Comments
AWTM – you made me cry at work! Thanks for sharing such a moving story.
I'm right there with you, girlfriend! Mine are 6 and almost 3. This time is much different than when I only had one 2 year old! Hang in there!
I have to agree Last time my children were younger 17 mo 2.5 and 4 and 24 weeks preg with the twins when DH deployed. this time. they will be 6.5, 4 , 3 and 20 mo old twins. It is bringing to light a lot of new challenges for me. I get the you already have gone through it.. which is true but liek you said different ages require different needs. I give them all the credit in the world.. the only time mine cry that htey really miss there daddy is when they are grounded..lol
tell you what, when some one says, oh you've been through it before, you'll be fine, the kids have done this before blah blah…. you call me, I'll come over and smack 'em upside the head with a 2×4. EVERY stage of a child, of an adult, of a marriage and of a deployment, is different. Daddy being gone at 4 months is lousy, but Daddy being gone at 5 is lousy in a totally different and unique way. Ask the doofus asking, if they feel the same each and every day about each and every person in their family… The light might go on at that point. I went through deployments before of both the kid and the DH, and every day is a different challenge. some days as well as could be expected some days it sucked even more.
Oh, by the way… awwwwwwww, so CUTE!
LAW.
I am amazed everyday by my Kiddos. They can hold me together and themselves together like nothing. They make me proud when they satnd up for their Dad and his job. They also break my heart when they cry for Daddy. The older they get the harder in someways it is on them when deployment comes but in others it is easier. The goodbyes will forever be the hardest. The hellos are the greatest. All the Kiddos will go runnign up to Daddy and fight over who gets the first hug when he is home. Both a time for tears for me but always the best memories knowing my Kiddos are loved and safe because of what Daddy does.
My husband was deployed the first time when my son was 1 1/2 and this time my son is 5. I think that it has been alot harder this time. My son has more intense tantrums and is constantly pushing limits. I find myself more tired and having less energy to deal with him. I thought it would be easier when my husband came home on leave, but actually my son acted up more. Are other mothers of preschoolers having these issues?
My husband deployed when my kids were 2 and 4. The 2 year old clinged like celophane and would not let me go. The 4 year old would yell in my face and say she hated me. after taking her to a civilian Dr. at Kaiser Who said it is all my fault I am too controling. I asked how. The example was I didn't give her a choice for breakfast. I work full time and she is talking about choices, be glad she got food. After 9 months of tempertantrums and me sending her to her room. I finaly figured out she was mad at me because I sent dad away. LIKE I HAD A CHOICE. I called army one source I talked to some guy on the phone and said this is normal. He said the VA would help. By then DG was coming home in a month and I was to busy. I don't know what my kids have in store for me this time. Kimberly is almost 7 and Patrick is Almost 5. 2 days into separation and I dont think anything has changed for the better. Except Kim is more helpful but she had 4 crying binges tonight and Patrick had two. Lets pray for peace.
We are sort of an unusally family. After spending 8 years in corporate- my husband came to me and said he needed to serve before it was too late. He enlisted into the Army and was off to Boot Camp in Jan. 06. At this point we were 34 years old. Now we are facing our first deployment in August 07. Although I'm an independent women, I'm left with the 9 year old and our 4 month old. From past separations, I know I'm happy with the challenge of taking care of the family, but I know I get tired toward the end of the separation. My husband has been away from our 9 year old for 6 months, two weeks, another two weeks and a three week period. I use the verbage, "our life's adventure." Preparing for our 1st deployment is complex and involved, but my goal is for him to still experience his childhood. For example: go to every baseball practice and every school day. He doesn't miss anything unless he is throwing up. I watch him intently for signs of not coping well. When they are there I put everything aside until I understand what's happening with him. From what I see so far: my 9 year old son is growing into a calm, mature young man that takes pleasure in the boyish side of life. I'm very impressed with him, but continue to keep my motherly vigilance. Having children makes us military spouses all the more incredible. I must walk the walk and not just talk the talk. In all honestly, at the end of the day, my son watches more tv than when dad's home. Luckily for us, that still isn't a lot. Looking forward toward my husband's deployment. It's my way of serving our beautiful country. How wonderful is it to raise up our future leaders? I'm up for it.
*Darn Allergies*
AWTM, I need walk around with a tissue box because of you! That photo is the cutest! You are an inspiration to us all!
I am new to this army wife thing :) I have a 24 month old and a 4 month old. I don't know what to do because my 24 month old misses daddy and we watch videos and pictures and Listen to his voicemail- and he still is throwing fits(high pitch screaming, crying ones) I'm lost, drained and have no clue what to do. Anything or anyone I can talk to? alkirem@yahoo.com