We are in full youth baseball season. I did a post awhile back regarding the difference of youth sports on base vs. out in town. After a few games and a lot of practices, I can now report the "difference" gap is getting bigger and bigger.
Last night as the sun was setting on a cool spring day and the smell of popcorn filled the air instead of hearing the crack of the bat, I hear "Mom, mom, mom, will you get me some sunflower seeds….pleeeeeeeeeeese" and it starts again, "Mom, mom, mom……." I look over at the dugout to see a 10 yr. old crawling on the dug out fence while he is yelling at his mom, another one knocking the ball caps off the other players heads. Oh, and another player spitting sunflower seeds at everyone.
I decide to head over to the dugout. There IS a dad in the dug out, what he is actually doing besides collecting bats I have no idea. I tell them all, "unless you want a Mom in the dugout, sit down and watch the game".
All the parents in the vicinity look at me like I am crazy. Two of them were dads. I keep thinking "this isn’t T-Ball!".
Lucky for those kids, the hubby was coaching at 3rd base. I think he plans on being in the dugout during the next game.
Of all the soccer teams LilK has been on, I’ve never had this experience. After 3 games, it is getting a little annoying. These moms and dads really seem unbothered! Except when I try to restore some order and I get the "stares".
The experts might say separation from a parent for long periods of time, frequent moving, having to make new friends often would cause our kids to act out, misbehave, argue with adults, and be disrespectful. I think they might save some of that for us moms at home, and sure they have their moments of misbehaving, but overall when it comes to interacting with others, respecting their elders, creating friends, having a good attitute and giving it their best…..
in my opinion our mil-kids are All-Stars!
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Hoorah! Though I have to admit, I personally haven't had to deal with it on any team our daughters have been on, but I have seen plenty of it on opposing teams. We've just gotten lucky I guess.
When we moved away from the "it takes a village" way of raising our kids we started losing our way as parents. If my kids are outside w/o me and you see them doing something wrong PLEASE come get me and tell them to stop! I had some boys no older than 13 start cussing and threatening to beat another boy up right in front of me. When I was a kid we never said shoot or darn in front of an adult let alone drop the F bomb and start a fight! Adults have stopped acting like we're the ones in charge and have decided that our kids need to express themselves even if that means telling us to shut up is more important than teaching our kids respect and then get upset when another adult doesn't want to deal with your bad kids!
I LOVE that my kids have lots of "mama's" on the base. We're constantly watching out for each other's kids and you better believe everyone of our kids loves and fears the mama pack. We give great hugs but they know not to mess with us. I think we milspouses are able to accept help with a little more grace because there are so many times our situation forces us to reach out for one another. I don't feel as protective over my children when they're getting a talking to from another milmom or dad, but I feel differently with civilians. Strange, huh?
When I arrived at my 1st Army post, I remember telling DH that I couldn't believe how well-behaved all the kids were. There were no kids running through the PX or screaming that they wanted a piece of candy at the commissary. DH, who was an army brat, just looked at me and asked, "Well, what else would you expect? These kids have military discipline instilled in them!" Lol!
I agree with moms above – if my kids aren't behaving I darn sure want someone to tell me about it! And I'm not adverse to having them get an on-the-spot talking to, either.
Just last week, at a hockey game (base), my eldest daughter said something snippy to me. Immediately her coach stepped in and corrected her without me even having time to collect myself.
I think that there is a big difference, and it's directly traceable to the fact that our sponsors are responsible for how we behave. Their job depends on it.
Just the opposite for me. It took some of my friends a LOOOONNNNNGG while to adjust to our household's discipline. Kid won't stay in bed? Make them tired enough to WANT bedtime. Our kids do push-ups and sit-ups until they are tired. Kids fighting with one another? Teach them learn tolerance. Ours have to stand nose to nose with the one they are arguing with for a while. Won't clean up their room? Teach them appreciation for what they have by taking it away for some time . . . ALL OF IT. I guess I still have friends who are a little squeamish about our methods, but really nobody sees it anymore as all of my kids are a bit older and have "been there, done that, and don't want to go back!" He-he!
There is no way as a kid I would have gotten away with slamming my door in my parents house. It was (and is for my kids as well) okay to be mad, just not bad.
The prize is defenitely when I see how my friends' teens are turning out and they are so flustered with it. I don't ever get smug, but it makes me appreciate my kids all that much more. :0)
I live in the community where I grew up which is no where near a military post. For the most part the children in the neighborhood are all very good, but you have those one or two that cause problems for all. I always read all these military deployment things that say to expect children to act out and misbehave because their dad is gone off to another country for god knows how long. But personally I think it's a bunch of BS. My kids don't act any different than they did before he left and if they do they are more helpful and better than before. I think it all falls back to the way you raise them. If you instill in them the proper way to act before the other parent leaves then this should never be a problem. My children are the only children in their school that have a parent who is deployed and you wouldn't know it. I hear nothing but good about the way my kids act at school and I keep in close contact with their teachers just in case they have their moments. But 7 months into this it's all been good so far. I don't let my kids slide on anything. I'm more strict when dad is gone than I am when he's here. If they forget their homework then I'm the one telling the teacher to give them detention. It's up to the parents to do the right thing and not all parents care about how their kids act. It bothers me when I go to the store and see kids throwing themselves on the floor over a toy or candy and I blame no one except the parent.
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