How We Identify Ourselves

Think of all of the ways that you identify yourself.  How do others identify you?  Is the list long or short?  Distinguished one moment – down right silly the next?

I started thinking about this subject when I did something yesterday that now seems very silly.

I called my horse trainer last night and identified myself as such:

"Hi Wendy, this is LMT, Layla’s mom!"

Good grief!  Later I thought to myself – I am not the mother of this horse for Pete sake.  But, I identify myself that way in the section of my life that revolves around horses.  Rather than saying, this is Layla’s owner – I see myself as her mother, her caretaker!  A psychologist would have a field day with me!

After thinking about it more, I have identified myself in various ways over the years.

In the beginning of my marriage – I did NOT want to change my last name.  So, I identified myself, every chance that I got, by including my maiden name.  That wore off over time when I finally realized that losing my maiden name and taking my husband’s name did not change who I was and it did not change my real identity. 

Early in my husband’s career a few people he worked with started calling me Mrs. Rank (whatever his rank was at the time) after I had asked them to please STOP calling me Ma’am.  They still refused to call me by my first name (as I had requested) or Mrs. LMT – so I embraced the name they gave me and I still remember those Soldiers fondly.

After I had children I was called mommy.  Then others would identify me as the mom of whichever child they were referring to.  Nope, no one called me Mrs. LMT or LMT, I was the mom of a child.

I now realize that when I call the vet to make appointments for my other animals, I refer to myself as their mother too!

I do have my own identity – outside of being a mother, wife or owner.  A few people do see me simply as LMT.  I see myself as LMT – that wears a lot of hats.  I am comfortable with all of my identities.  I tend to wear so many hats that I can’t begin to recall all of the ways I have been identified over the years.

How many identities do you have or have you had over the years?

About the Author

Love My Tanker

I am an Active Duty Army Wife. I have enjoyed living in the US and overseas. I have volunteered in many realms over the years with various FRGs, Sew Much Comfort and a Wounded Warrior Equine Therapy program. I consider myself lucky to have been a part of the SpouseBUZZ family since 2006.

I homeschool my children and continue to love volunteering when time allows. The Army life is a busy life, but a good life!

8 Comments on "How We Identify Ourselves"

  1. Semper Fi Wife | April 18, 2008 at 5:18 am |

    Oh my yes….Lancelot's wife, Dark Prince and the twins' mom…it gets more confusing when I start talking to someone about two different volunteer projects.
    I literally say,"Okay I'm taking of my (fill in the blank) hat and am putting on my (fill in the blank hat)"
    I cracked up one day a couple of weeks ago though when someone asked Lancelot who he was and he said,"Semper Fi Wife's husband"

  2. It's funny…I just published this same thing on my blog :) I'm Susan, I'm Sgt. L's wife, I'm Olivia's mommy. I'm the one with the grey car, the house with the green door, and the roots that need to be touched up so desperately. On days where multiple clarification is needed, I can be any combination, or all of the above, and some. hee hee.

  3. airforcewife | April 18, 2008 at 6:33 am |

    How funny and true! I'm AFG's wife, I'm Ruthie, I'm whatever kid's mom, airforcewife…
    I've also been called Fertile Myrtle, and I take a step back when someone refers to me as "Ike's Mom" – you're right, it's certainly odd to be referred to as a dog's mom!
    And in our neighborhood, I'm also "the lady with the pit bull" – and I have to admit I love seeing people's reactions when they talk to me for a while and THAT comes up. Do I seem like the Yorkie type or something?
    Oddly enough, though, I'm almost never Mrs. ___. I'm not sure why. Maybe because no one can pronounce my last name?

  4. SeabeeSeniorWife | April 18, 2008 at 10:03 am |

    Just today, I too referred to myself as my dogs "mommy". Truth is, he's such a big baby that the title of mommy fits very well.
    I get ma'am from all the guys in my hubby's unit and that one is tough for me. Makes me feel so old! I still want to be Miss not Ma'am. Then the Sunday school kids call me Mrs. ____. Again, makes me feel old but I'm learning to adjust.
    The funniest one is that we have this family of really good friends. My daughter calls them Grandma D and Papa and her kids Aunt and Uncle, etc. Grandma D always refers to me as her daughter but technically she is only 15 years older than me and doesn't even look that much older. The looks we get when she introduces me as her daughter are pretty comical. I can see them doing the math in their heads. LOL She and her family are members of our church and I told her the scandel I've brought to her is too funny. She too, sees it as very humorous.

  5. I wear a variety of metaphorical hats depending on context, but the one that has amused me most lately is being "Mrs. [Husband's Callsign]" to his squadron buddies. "Mrs. [Husband's Callsign]" is known for making excellent cookies and drinking perhaps too many martinis, so it's an entertaining sort of part to play, at least!

  6. for me – Chief's wife. Kid's mom. Dog's mom. Cat's mom. LAW. and I'm all of those, and still me.

  7. Maint Toad1 | April 19, 2008 at 12:36 pm |

    (*ring-ring*)(*ring-ring*): "I'm sorry, Toad can't come to the phone now, as he really isn't sure who he was a second ago or who he's going to be in a moment, so for fear of answering and not being who you thought you were going to get and Toad not knowing who he is … currently … leads us to (*Ding!*) Thank you for calling."
    Hats I've worn and the personalities they create. Man o' man, I'm just glad that I remember my girls' names half the time, much less my own …
    Great respite El Em Tee — (the new long-hand version of your Nom de guerre!) Toad

  8. Laura, a Military Mo | April 21, 2008 at 7:43 am |

    At the beginning…before kids I was G's wife, then came the Mommy years. When #1 Son entered High School and I volunteered with the Marching Band I became "Mom" to hundreds of kids over the next 10 years that I had the three sons in the Band. Then in six months of 2002 all three joined the military family (two army, one air force) and I became a Military Mom! It's been quite a ride!

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