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Figuring out where they fit in….

November 11, 2008, in Entertainment by

Dr. Suzanne Best, who contributed to the book Courage After Fire, will be joining us at SpouseBuzz Talk Radio  this Thursday night at 8pm CST to discuss reintegration.  This show will be part 1, of our 2 part series on the book of the month. 

I seriously think reintegration is one of the most important issues facing our Veterans who have served this great Nation.   

There are times when I think about reintegration, where I simply forget, reintegration goes beyond the home and family…

Part 1 of this series will focus on the best case scenario for deployment, meaning a pretty typical experience (if there is such a thing).  There is enough to reintegrate after a separation and a war time experience. 

Part 2 of the series will focus on PTSD, physical wounds, as well as emotional ones.

Clinicians who have worked for years with veterans
            of various war eras, we recognize that combat affects not only the
            troops but their entire circle of family, friends, employers, and
            community. Courage After Fire offers information and tips for family
            members and close friends-those who have kept things going on the
            home front and waited anxiously for their veteran’s return. It is
            also for doctors, counselors, employers, coworkers, and others who
            may be asked to help with a veteran’s transition home.
         

I am really trying to maximize our time with Dr. Suzanne Best, and there is a lot of ground to cover.  However I do want to know what concerns our readership has.  What questions would you ask if you could?

Did your child have a difficult time when his Father or Mother returned?
Did your financial status change?
Perhaps, you are a National Guard family, did your Husband/Wife’s employer welcome them back?
Did your switch in gender specific roles empower you, or leave you feeling resentful?

Please leave your questions and comments in the comments section and feel free to protect your identity if you wish.  I will forward your questions to Dr. Best, and we will try our hardest to answer every single one of them. 

Thank you, and we do hope to hear from you in the chat room, or call in this Thursday evening. 

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About Rachelle

Rachelle began her Military Spouse career when her future husband proposed to her in a letter during Desert Shield. Mail took over a month to arrive back then, and they only had three phone calls with each other in the ten months they were separated. They were married at a small ceremony a week after he returned home. Rachelle's husband moved her to Ft. Bragg, NC, all of their combined possessions filling her small, two-door car. In 1992, they left active duty and moved back to their home state where she went to nursing school and he joined the Army National Guard as a traditional Soldier as he went to school. In 1999, Rachelle's husband was offered a full-time National Guard position in Arkansas, where they lived for eight years.

In 2002, their son was born (MFO Deployment) and in 2003, their daughter was born (OIF2). In 2008, they moved back to their home state to live close to family. Rachelle has been an active contributor with SpouseBUZZ since 2005. She currently works full-time at a physician’s office, and is active with her church and school's PTO. Her son has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a subject that she is exhaustingly studying and learning to work with day-by-day. In 2010, Rachelle's mother-in-law moved in with the family, and they added a German shorthaired pointer named "Poncho" to the tribe as well. Rachelle enjoys spending as much "down time" with her family as possible - usually something outdoors or movie nights. Her favorite foods are sushi, steak, chocolate, and coffee. Her special skills include being an awesome cook, identifying odd accents by state or country, having an incredible sense of smell (almost bloodhound-like), and watching people at airports during long, unexpected layovers.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:
    November 12, 2008 at 3:06 am

    My question would be, what is the best way to help your husband open up emotionally again? I realize it takes time and that in some ways they will never be the same, but when you can tell that they are just keeping everything inside them locked down, how do you open that door for them?
    One of the answers I have read alot is for the returning soldier to spend time around those who have experienced the same things as them. However, as a reservist family, that isn't always possible and definitely hasn't been our experience. My husband doesn't live near any of the guys he served with and has moved units and doesn't really talk with these guys in the new unit about his past experience.
    Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

  2. wendy's Tiki Hu says:
    November 12, 2008 at 9:54 am

    This is a tricky subject. I'm not afraid to admit that the reunion is a tricky thing for us. It has been with each deployment/reunion cycle. It's not bad, like broken dishes or scandalous affairs, it is just hard for me to adjust to having him around, and difficult for him to adjust to the noise and craze of a house full of kids.
    It is so hard to talk about, you know? I don't want to look bad. I don't want to make him look bad, and I don't want him to feel bad if he read what I wrote or overheard a conversation, etc…
    He has settled back into "regular" life and we are doing really well right now, but there were a couple of weeks that I had a very difficult time knowing how to deal with this extremely grouchy man in my house. He was never violent or aggressive, just grouchy and dissatisified.
    My main question would be:
    How do I keep myself happy (and steady and calm), when he is making me crazy?
    (I hope this doesn't make me look bad. Maybe it would be better if I went back and wrote this about my "friend"…)