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Doing Pregnancy Alone

I am ready for a silver linings post, this time about pregnancy.

My husband left for a nine month deployment right after we found out I was pregnant with our first child. He will miss the entire pregnancy. I can think of a million ways that it stinks that he’s gone: no one to go with me to ultrasounds, no one to feel my belly when she kicks, no one to rub my feet or go downstairs to get me a glass of water. No pampering at all. That is lame.

But I have been trying to keep track of the good things about doing this alone. I have come up with a couple.

1) I don’t have to cook for anyone else.
My husband left four days after morning sickness set in. During those four days, I felt guilty that I wasn’t making him his favorite foods or taking care of him before he left. But as soon as he was gone, it was such a blessing. If I only felt like eating grapes for dinner, there was no one else to worry about. When the smell of food made me sick, I just didn’t cook anything. It was much easier than feeling bad that I wasn’t making him dinner or having to sit by and gag while he made something for himself.

2) This also applies to all other chores.
If I didn’t feel like doing laundry, I let it sit. If I didn’t feel like vacuuming or dusting or making the bed, no one else was gonna see it anyway.

3) I get the whole bed to myself.
I am not that comfortable in bed these days, and at least I have a queen-sized to myself. I sleep plumb in the middle surrounded by pillows. I get up five times a night to use the bathroom. I don’t bother anyone but myself. And if my husband were here, he’d probably think it was weird if I made a huge pillow barricade in between us to prop up my back.

4) I get gas.
I don’t even think I need to explain that one. There is no one to laugh at me if I just have to let it rip.

I am sure many of you have done all or part of the nine months pregnant without your husbands. Any silver linings you came up with?

About Sarah

Sarah has been married to her soldier for a bit more than 10 years. In the past decade, they've been at six different duty stations in four different branches of the Army. They've also endured three deployments, six miscarriages, and a failed IVF. Sarah's blogging focus has shifted some in the past five years, from common military issues to something more personal: the difficult intersection between the military and infertility. It's hard for some couples to start a family; it's even harder when one person spends a lot of time on the other side of the globe. But Sarah was lucky enough to declare Mission Accomplished when their daughter was born 10 days after her husband's return from Afghanistan. And she tries to remind herself how irreplaceable and cherished that daughter is now that she's entered the terrible two's. In her free time, Sarah is a pioneer housewife: knitting, crocheting, and cooking ... and sometimes even firing a weapon.