That's it. I can't go out until my husband gets home. Or I need to learn better social skills. Because lately, everywhere I go, all we ever talk about is me. How long has he been gone? When is he coming back? How do you do it? When are you moving? What do the kids think? I appreciate everyone's interest, and I understand that it sounds odd and different to y'all civilian folks, but aren't you sick of talking about me? It is sort of like this, but different.
I've tried changing the subject, and that often works for a bit, but then a new person enters the conversation and then we're back to me. I feel like I'm trying to hog all the attention which is very much not true. (Not that I don't enjoy being funny, but all the time? I'm certainly not THAT funny. It's not like I'm Guard Wife.) I feel like I'm preventing other people from being the subject of
attention, and it seems so rude. I actually left a party early last
night because I was hoping that they'd be able to talk about something
else if I left.
I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this, or if you have any suggestions. I don't want to hide in a box for the next few months but this is ridiculous!
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Ahhh yess…I'm in the pity me phase of the deployment as well..granted I don't want the pity but the look after I say oh he'll be back in Dec 2010 is nothing but pity.
I've vowed that we're staying in as much as possible until people stop asking stupid questions.
It's not like I'm not having enough problems with him being gone but having people try and genuinly show um…commiseration…(HAHAHA) for me it's just too much. It's like rubbing a dogs face in the crap he just left in the family room.
Don't ask about him..if I have news I'll let you know.
Nothing to see here..move along.
Sorry no suggestions..this phase does pass…I'm slowly putting a toehold into the anger stage of deployment. Acceptance is out there somewhere..we just have to get through it.
I have the opposite thing. It's not like I want a pity party, but NONE of my friends have asked me how I'm doing.
I call to see how they are doing with their boy problems/job problems/etc but not once in the last eight months has any of them asked me how I was doing with my husband being gone on our first deployment (well, deployment started a few months ago, but we were apart since May due to a PCS without me).
Maybe it's different because I don't have kids but who knows.
As for what to do for you? I have no clue. I'd probably want to hide too.
Wife of a Sailor – that makes me so sad! How are you doing? First deployments are hard! I hope you are holding up OK.
I guess I should count my blessings and stop complaining. Thank you for reminding me that I am lucky to have such problems.
I don't really have this problem much either. I try to avoid mentioning my DF being gone for that reason. My family always asks how he's doing, not me :) Only a handful of people may want to know what's going on w/ me…but for the most part, I just change the subject. I'm guessing you live in a military town?
At least they are being nice about it. When my husband is gone my family is not very nice to me. They say we are ruining the kid's lives and my husband should have known better than to join the army. They just assumed after the last deployment he would get out and when he didn't they said we are still crazy. We are headed there to visit them for Christmas and I can hear it now. Instead of asking how we are doing all we hear is questions about the day he is getting out. When my husband says he isn't getting out they go off again. My blood pressure is up just thinking about the visit with them. I like to bring up that we are doing better than any of them and our kids act better than any of their cousins do. I think our family would rather see us give up our nice house, paycheck and free insurance and move back and live on food stamps than see us do better than them. OK I am done ranting.
My husband hasn't deployed yet. He heads off in April of next year. So we're in the prep stages. It'll be our first deployment – his first in his career, my first being married to him. I have the added issues of adjustments to this culture, this new post and no one I can even pretend is close to me to talk to. Yet, I don't have that issue – no one really asks me about how we're doing, how I think I will manage … mostly it's a simple "how are things?" and then they leave it be.
I think if I were in your position, I'd actually come right out and say "Can we talk about something else please? I'd rather not be reminded constantly of him not being around." (and, of course, probably lose a few acquaintances at the same time), but Gee – talking about it all the time doesn't make it better – certainly not when you have to explain what it's like to people who have no clue.
I feel your pain, and not only because I know it will probably be mine here in a few months… hang in there. =)
Hey! Yeah, I know how you feel—being the center of attention all the time because GI Joe has such an erractic schedule is not the easiest thing to handle. Ask me how we are both doing and then move on!
To those of you whom nobody asks–I hope you are doing ok, and I'm sorry people don't seem to be too concerned.
I'm snowed in today! It is gorgeous! I'm just glad we didn't lose power like some areas here on the East coast!
I hope everyone is looking forward to making a merry Christmas.
I basically tell EVERYONE before DH leaves that I do not want to talk about the deployment UNLESS I bring it up. This seems to help. Not too many people as about it.
I know how LOVE MY SOLDIER feels though about family… My parents think my husband is insane for trying to extend. What they fail to comprehend is that it is a MAJOR political move that could keep him from having to deploy again.
All I can say is STUPID CIVILIANS!!!!