Most of the time, I deal with the absence of a spouse pretty well. I think. But occasionally, some odd thing will make the absence feel huge.
Tonight, I went to a kids' school event and walked out with a couple we know fairly well. They always seem very happy and stable in their marriage even if they aren't the most affectionate people on the planet. They had arrived in separate cars and were splitting up for the drive home. We chatted for a few minutes and then said goodbye. As I began to walk away, I caught it out of the corner of my eye: a tender exchange, a quick kiss while they thought no one was looking, and obvious happiness that they'd be together again after a short drive home. It was all I could do to keep the tears on the inside as I walked back to my car.
Admittedly, I'm a little hormonal right now, and feeling a little crazy as the remaining weeks of this deployment alternately look like hours or more years. I suddenly realized how much I missed those moments. I reminded myself that it's almost over, and that I'm lucky to have such a marriage in the first place, and all the usual things that are supposed to cheer me up. It did work, and I got over it (until now…I'm crying again as I type this…bad hormones.) I guess this is my reminder to appreciate the little things.
About She of the Sea
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I totally agree that I miss those little moments…
For two years before we got married, my husband and I were living long distance. Once I was driving through a neighborhood and passed a house with a big picture window. A wife was straightening her husband's tie in the living room. And I lost it. I just wanted to be together for those little intimate moments.
Hang in there, SotS! You're almost there! (Me too!)
I'm so there for you, SotS. I totally get what you're saying.
And you're almost there! Even when it doesn't feel like it.
The end of deployment always feels like the end of pregnancy for me – you know intellectually you won't be pregnant/alone this time next month/week, but it sure is hard to picture that!
I'm not sure which part of the deployment is the worst..the anxiety before deployment or those last few weeks that seem to take forever but in reality zip by in a sneeze.
I also get assaulted by my emotions..I was looking for t-shirts for the boys online and came across some deployment t-shirts (Daddy Deprived for you Freedom, etc) and just lost it. But then I was watching the train wreck and couldn't look away..I had to keep looking. I think it works for your mental health though as a good cry always makes the world feel a bit right again. Until the next onslaught.
I hate the moments where I'm watching something funny on tv, and I turn to say to hubby how funny it was, to share the experience, and then realize he's not sitting there, and I'm laughing by myself.
But think about how much more we appreciate those tender little moments! Oftentimes people married for a long time just take all of that for granted, and we're constantly reminded of the importance of all the special things we do with and for each other! It'll be here soon!