Although it is grammatically incorrect and it may make a nice title for a movie, the title of this post is not my favorite way for things in my life to be. The end of deployment is upon us. I'm not trying to be sly when I say I'm not sure when my husband will be home, but that I just know it's soon.
Not that I have to tell YOU that because you get it.
It's everyone ELSE who seems to think I'm keeping secrets.
This deployment has been different in many ways. I'm much more capable of handling the business that goes on here…if only it were the same level of business I had last time, though! This time, the girls are older, into more things and I'm run ragged daily.
This year, we started a new school, continued through the process of adopting our daughter from Ethiopia, lost loved ones and gained a new nephew. I've attended weddings, funerals, school events, and witnessed countless milestones alone. Again.
Today, though, I realized that the two biggest things I have going right now–my husband returning from Iraq and picking up our daughter in Africa remain up in the air. And, I'm only slightly freaking out about both of them. Exhaustion has really taken the OC out of my OCD.
But for everyone else? My lack of losing my mind seems to be a real concern. Otherwise, why would the constant barrage of phone calls, facebook messages, text messages, e-mail and face-to-face interrogations keep happening? It's funny because on the one hand, people are very kind (and bold) to toss out their questions, but it is funny to watch them take a step back (as if I may implode) when I tell them I know nothing more than I did when they asked me earlier in the day.
It's like that infernal question when you are pregnant, but almost due: "Do we have a baby yet?!"
For the record, I have a husband. He's just still a half a world away.
I also have a new daughter who is, coincidentally, a half a world away.
It is possible both of these individuals will be coming home within a week or two of each other. It's also likely my husband will be home to accompany me on the huge journey to gather up our new kindergartener and bring her to the States.
Remind me sometime to tell you the story of how I was the only parent in the Kindergarten Parents meeting who had never met her kindergartener. It was surreal to be sure.
In the meantime, tell me what kinds of observations you've made in those final days of deployment that surprised you. Are you, like me, wondering when the wheels are finally going to fall off and you'll show up at work without your shoes? Or, are your thoughts deeper and less noticeable to the outside world? I'm looking forward to finding out in comments!
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Our deployment is also coming to an end. The dates of when DH will actually be home keep changing (I'm not surprised). I thought the changing dates would bother me more. But they don't. I've waited a year for this, what's a couple more days, right?
I'm very excited, but also VERY nervous. I'm not sure why. I guess because we have to get used to living life together again after a year being apart. Also we have to get used to having three kids instead of two (He left right after #3 was born). Does anyone else feel this way??
::raising hand::
I feel like that! My husband's timeline was drastically changed not very long ago and his homecoming time was moved up–which should be a good thing. But, it really threw me for a loop!
And now, the closer we get, the more nervous I am about all the awkward things I'm anticipating. Not to mention the added stress of traveling to Africa and bringing home a school-aged child who can't speak English yet. yeah. I'm nervous!
I know that being nervous is VERY normal, but it doesn't make me feel any less so.
If you go to the right sidebar and scroll down, you'll see the 'category' list. Clicking on "Reintegration" will bring up all the past posts about this very time we're experiencing & you may find some helpful information there as well.
Oh man… that "Do we have a baby yet??" line ABSOFREAKIN KILLED ME….. Or more specifically, almost caused me to physically assault one of the OB's in my OB/GYN group when I was two weeks overdue with my second child. I kid you not. I was going down the hall, more than pregnant and overdue; he smiles at me and says "What? No baby yet?" and keeps going. OMG. I nearly jumped him.
Keep strong! You will get to the end of both journeys soon, and then you can BREATH again.
The first deployment I remember being so nervous for the return that I spent days figuring out what to wear! I went through EVERYTHING in my apt–I went to department stores and tried things on, but nothing was good enough. Even though I knew he would be happy to see me in whatever (he said "as long as you don't wear camo I'll be happy." I tend to focus on the little, superficial stuff toward the end of a deployment. That surprised me, because I'm not normally that way. I do also worry that something will happen the day he returns and that is going to ruin homecoming. I've noticed that yoga really does help me to calm down.
The last deployment towards the end, I became very quiet. I was very sick and not talkative. People thought I was depressed and needed some extra help. I just needed answers and my Hubby is all.
We had one deployment cut short, and currently going thru another one..
I feel this "up in the air" more in the PCS arena… like we know we are getting orders, but when? and to where?
no one knows..
Posted by: Reasa The last deployment towards the end, I became very quiet. I was very sick and not talkative. People thought I was depressed and needed some extra help. I just needed answers and my Hubby is all.
- I couldn't agree more. My husband and I are currently going through our first deployment, he is in Iraq and I am back home with our families and friends. We have no kids yet. But when I am out and about, I notice that I am so much more untalkative then normal. I'll go out with the girls and I mainly just sit there staring off, wondering about my hubby. Which is not like me at all. He is due home sometime around 5 months, and I just keep looking forward to that day more and more. The only time I am all talkative and myself, is when I am at home talking with him. I beleive people are begining to worry about me, but really, all I want is my husband home and I will be back to non stop talking, and bouncing off walls. lol.
Glad other people truly are going through what I am.
I too am going through my first deployment. Everyday I hear someone else ask me when is he coming home. I give them a general answer, but can't help but wonder what will happen at the end.
See we live 4 states away from where he is stationed. Which means I will have to find some place to stay for when he returns. And the time frame we're looking at is while kids are in school, which means I will need to pull them out of school for some time to go to the homecoming. I am nervous about this as I know time frames change with the military and not sure what/how to deal with it all.
I am so glad to hear that I'm not alone in all this.
Im not only a military brat, a military spouse but also, in the military as well. I want to let you know that eventually things find their grove but, there is nothing that anyone can say that will calm your nerves until your husband is home with you and your new child. My advice to you is take a deep breath and just take it one day at a time. There are always those moments when all you want to do or can seem to do is cry. Just know that those moments are completely normal and sometimes they are good for you. I hope that you find some happiness in all of this mess and I wish you the best!
Great post – I can relate! My hubby is due home in a few weeks. The fact that I don't know the date exactly makes others think I am trying to be coy or think I am just lying. I am very nervous, and this has taken me by surprise. The end of this year long deployment has caused me to reflect over the past year and almost mourn again all the lost time, events, special moments, etc. Every time I think the roller coaster of deployment is over, another bend and drop hits me.
I know what you mean. My husband is also in Iraq, and we are trying to adopt from Africa as well. People ask me all the time, "Have you heard anything (new)?" Well, most of the time there is nothing new to report. I get tired answering several times in a day, but I know that for that particular person, it is only the first time they have heard the response that day. So I try to be kind.