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Was it something I said?

July 28, 2010, in Military Life by

It's summer office picnic time and rightfully so, our mil members need some time to look around them, prop their feet up, pitch some 'shoes and eat burned-beyond-recognition hot dogs with their friends. Hey, I love them too. I get to meet all the folks that are in The Boss' office. Those that she works with day in and day out and meet as well their spouses, mostly wives. I just love these adventures …

The joy is sitting down and listening "to the men talk" while us girls do our thing on the perimeter of the discussions. My joy is playing the Spy-vs-Spy gig and actually telling the wives WHAT they're actually saying! It's amazing what doesn't make it through translation when "honey comes home — he never told me THAT!" Did I already mention how I love these adventures?

But I have noticed something over the years… and for an INTJ like me, sometimes it makes you stop and just say "Hmmm."

Ever notice how it seems much easierto make new wivesfeel welcome? (Yes, the XX model vs me, the XY model) We aren't always GOOD at making them feel welcome, but it does seem to be easier.

I was just at one of these great picnics — great people, great food, hugely funny events, and music that took me back to the 70's… and as I talked my way around, I realized that I wasn't hitting it off with anyone. Not a soul. In fact, after about an hour I really REALLY felt like the bigX was blazed on my forehead …LookAway … and it was the women as well as the men. Military member as well as spousal units.

Honestly, I was ready to break into song and (very poor) dance, to break the ice — ifI'd only been given a chance. If it weren't for all of you in SpouseBUZZland, I'd probably chalk it up to another "who cares?" and wander off to do my own thing. You gals in these trenches of ours, have taught me that thispicnic is/was not the standard … but I have to ask, any of you at your picnicsseen new male husbands floating around just waiting to be met? Did you?How did the conversation go? I desperately need some pointers because, …

It evidently was something I said … Over&Out, MaintenanceToadOne

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About MaintenanceToadOne

Maintenance Toad One, or simply "Toad", retired from the Air Force after 26 years and brings 18 years of marriage, 14 years of it Military-married-to-Military experience. His wife remains active duty Air Force and they have just completed their 22nd PCS, which includes Toad having two tours in the Middle East as well as the initial campaign of OEF. That life behind him, he now focuses on all things mil-spouse, turning up and speaking to any forum that will allow him the opportunity to address the issues facing the mil-spouse.

Comments

  1. Semper Fi Wife says:
    July 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

    I'd chat with ya, Toad…
    And the one husband in spouse's old unit didn't come to stuff. I'd have chatted with him too.
    :)

  2. airforcewife says:
    July 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    No way it was something you said. You're way too funny.
    I know it's harder on male spouses than female quite often, because of the dynamics of the situation. On the other hand, I'll bet a lot of us have also been the blacklisted spouse at some functions. I'm particularly fond of the ones where they introduce everyone according to where the spouse is working, because as soon as "OSI" comes out of the mouth of whomever is introducing/announcing, the mad rush away from me could rival anything The Running of the Bulls has to offer.
    Next time let's double date to the function! I'll bet when people see us giggling up a storm they'll be unable to resist wandering over to hear what's so funny. :)