New Milspouse Kate Middleton’s “Sad” Reality


As most of you know, in addition to being a new member of the Royal Family, Kate Middleton is now a military wife. Prince William is in the Royal Air Force. I read a headline this morning which made me laugh. The title read, “Kate Middleton & Prince William: Face Sad 10-Week Separation After Honeymoon!” With an exclamation point thrown in for good measure!!!!!!

It’s not unusual, at least in America, to hear stories of military weddings happening only days before a lengthy combat deployment or separation. I’ve met milspouses who were engaged and opted to move their weddings up after their spouse received orders, or couples who simply chose to marry quickly in the first place, or couples who had a quickie wedding and later had a more formal ceremony. Military life has the ability to ruin the best laid plans, speed up decisions and even slow them down.

The headline had me laughing for many reasons, not the least of which was the fact that the couple would face their “sad” separation after a ten day honeymoon. I don’t know about you, but thanks to Uncle Sam, my husband and I went three years before we had a honeymoon. My husband kept telling me it was silly to refer to our first real vacation as a honeymoon, but I was determined to brand it our honeymoon since we never had one. Many military spouses never have a “traditional” honeymoon.

From the article:

When Kate Middleton and Prince William return from their 10-day honeymoon — rumored to be on a private island in the Indian Ocean, sometime in the next month — they will reportedly have to say goodbye to each other for a heartbreakingly long 10-weeks as William must report for duty  in the Falkland Isles to finish his helicopter pilot training. William is a flight lieutenant in the RAF’s Search and Rescue squad and air force wives are not allowed to travel to this post, which is 250 miles off the east coast of Argentina.

“It is a bitter blow for Kate,” a source told the UK’s The Sun. “They have known about the Falklands for several weeks, but Kate was very upset when she first heard.”

“It is an awful way to start married life, especially hard because it destroys the first magic of being together,” says the source.

“[D]estroys the first magic of being together?”

I have great respect for Prince William for choosing to serve his country in this capacity. And I’m pretty certain Kate Middleton will not only survive, but thrive, as a military spouse. I take these reports from unnamed sources with a grain of salt. There’s no way to know if Kate was actually “upset (or what ‘upset’ even means),” but this couple has been together for ten years and by now, I’m pretty sure she understands the demands of the military and I find it hard to believe this poised young woman was bent out of shape over her husband fulfilling his duty.

From a milspouse perspective, I just found the article silly, and amusing.

About the Author


Andi is married to an active-duty soldier and is the founder and former editor of SpouseBUZZ.

She is the founder of the Annual MilBlog Conference. The MilBlog Conference is the premiere event of the year for military bloggers. President George W. Bush, U.S. Representative Adam Smith, GEN David Petraeus, LTG Mike Oates, LTG William Caldwell, RADM Mark Fox, MG Kevin Bergner, MG David Hogg and The Honorable Pete Geren have addressed previous conferences.

While living in Washington, DC, Andi was the Ambassador to Walter Reed Army Medical Center for Sew Much Comfort, a non-profit organization which makes and delivers, free of charge, special adaptive clothing for wounded service members. Andi has worked with several non-profits to help our wounded heroes and their families. She finds that work to be the most rewarding and meaningful of all.

Andi strives to find humor in the good, bad and ugly of life and is a firm believer that laughter has the ability to cure most ills.

34 Comments on "New Milspouse Kate Middleton’s “Sad” Reality"

  1. I have nothing now profound to say other than “Yeah that.”

  2. As a discussion from a few weeks back related to the Oprah show about how others view military life, I'm guessing the "unnamed source" is not military & views this as an injustice for newly weds without realizing how many others do it.

    • Agree with you, Anne.

      My post took issue with the unnamed sources and the article, not Kate and William. I'm pretty sure they have the separation due to duty thing down by now and doubt they resent it, either…

  3. Mark flew up from a school for the weekend so we could get married. Still no honeymoon.

    The quotes are so dramatic. Definitely silly.

  4. *sniffle* poor dear, that Kate, what with millions of dollars, a private helicopter, and numerous royal retreats at her disposal *sniffle* what a sad life she leads!!!

  5. yep, left the wedding recepion , (which he flew in for late for the rehearsal the day before, after being gone for 3 months), and drove to the next school. I spent 5 days in a hotel while he was in class. Left him early and drove to next duty station to an apartment I had never seen and accepted household goods alone. Yep, I am feeling so sad for Kate. I have acculumated honeymoon time in Jamaica, Puerto Rico and a few other spots. I still wouldn't give it up for the world, I love this life, even after 20 years.

    • Hi Julie,
      I was with the Army for 16 years!
      Been away from the Military life for 28 years now, guess what? I STILL MISS IT :(
      There is nothing greater (other then God) then to serve our Country!

  6. Yup! I've got zero sympahty. Zero. And in fact, if my husband came to me and told me he'd be gone for 10 weeks (2-1/2 months) I'd be almost happy! That's it? Just 10 weeks? Awesome! I'll get the bed and covers to myself, the remote to myself, we can have Ramen a couple nights a week (or go out so I don't have to cook), and I'll finally get those 4 closets cleaned out and a ton of stuff donated to Goodwill before our next PCS!! Perhaps she should take up a hobby. Scrapbooking? (She probably has people that do that for her). ROFL!!!!!!!

    • No kidding. I would love to hear 10 weeks. My husband deployed 10 days after we got married and our daughter was born a month later so not only is he missing the first year of our marriage but also the first year of our babies life.

  7. I have no doubt that her quotes were likely taken out of context or just blown out of proportion. Sure, it's normal to be disappointed about separation after getting married. My husband was gone for most of our first year of marriage due to multiple TDYs and a deployment, and, yes, even knowing what I was getting into, it was hard. Sure, she has tons of advantages and luxuries, but she has to do all of this in the public eye and with the media quoting unnamed sources and quite possibly misrepresenting her experience. I wish her all the best.

  8. SemperSteen | May 3, 2011 at 5:48 pm |

    My guy and I eloped between his bootcamp and combat training (totally original, I know) and our entire wedding/honeymoon affair lasted two days. But now we're stationed in Hawaii so we just consider this an overdue and very lengthy honeymoon. ;)

    I seriously doubt Kate was "bitter" over Will leaving for duty. They've been dating nearly a decade so it's not like the lifestyle would be a complete shock, and frankly Kate doesn't seem like the wilting, fragile flower type. I'd hardly call a couple months of separation due to serving one's country an "awful way to start married life."

  9. She is still a military spouse. I wish that we did not feel the need to play the "who has it worst" game. We should support ALL military spouses. I'm sure there are some US spouses who may also be independently wealthy and have some of the same luxuries. I think the author of this article is mainly criticizing the unkown source/original article, but we just need to remember that we are all in this together. :-)

    • That's right, Emmie. I was criticizing the piece, which seems to create drama where it likely doesn't exist. Further, it ignores the reality which is that this is nothing new to military spouses. And Kate is a military spouse and given that they've been together for a decade, I find it doubtful that this type of separation comes as a surprise or that she's not handling it well. I think it does a disservice to Kate, and all military spouses. I personally think, from all I've seen and read, that she will be a great military spouse.

  10. Um, yeah what a way to show support to a fellow military spouse.

    First, as others have said, I doubt the unnamed sources have it completely right.

    Second, I don't see what is so wrong with being upset at finding out about a TDY. What does "upset" even mean? I still get upset at a whole lot of crap the Army does to us but you do what you have to do, shrug it off and keep moving but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

  11. Retro War Bride | May 4, 2011 at 5:08 am |

    It's 10 weeks- suck it up Kate….try 12 months of not seeing your husband post honeymoon and PCSing your unopened wedding gifts to a forgein country to unpack on your own! Ok, well wait, I will give Kate some credit…she did ask for donations to charity instead of gifts.

  12. spouse2000 | May 4, 2011 at 10:14 am |

    How long does William have to be gone to give Kate the right to be sad? Why does the newspaper have no clue about military spouses? Who says Kate hasn't sucked it up? Aren't you sad when your husband is deployed. I think about my Grandmother. When my Grandfather went to war she did not get phone calls, email and was not able to skype. Would she be saying "Suck it up"? No, I think she would be glad that things are now better – not whining and complaining about how bad she had it.

  13. 1. Kate has a right to be sad if she wants.
    2. Newspapers have a right to write silly stories.
    3. We have a right to make fun of them.


  14. THANK YOU AMY!!!!!!

  15. Whoo-Hoo for Prince Willy! Finally, one of the very few, who while deployed, will never have to worry if wifey is out running around on him while he is gone!

  16. spouse2000 | May 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm |

    Mildude – I was thinking the same thing.

    It seems Kate is being made fun of – not the newspaper.

  17. whatever666 | May 5, 2011 at 2:23 pm |

    man she would know what being a military wife was if it hit her in the face. you guys just waisted space and time on the internet writing and posting that dumb story. when you all post something real and worth reading other then some rich womens problems. as if william will ever see combat as if she will ever know what its like to worry about him like we worry about our husbands the real service member. give me a break you all make sick.

    • You realize that reading and commenting on this blog are completely voluntary, right?

    • KateKashman | May 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm |

      You do realized that Prince Harry did a six month deployment to Afghanistan with his regular unit? I can't guarantee that the first in line to the throne will be treated just like any other troop, but I have been remarkably impressed with how well the British forces have (seemingly) managed to treat the Princes like any other officer. I'm not sure we Americans could pull that off as well.

  18. MARTHA SIMPSON | May 5, 2011 at 6:47 pm |

    Ahh! I finally found someone that can appreciate the feeling that I recieve when I am on the american,german heritage, pierenges mountains. Zrnchek you are a peach. Lets be nice and wish kate well. Perhaps a mishap misunderstanding where we begin and others leave off, for europe in caspian area. I am glaD WHEN THOSE THINGS ARE UNDERSTOOD VACATIONERS TRIP ON THINGS SO OFTEN,i LOVE IT WHEN WE CAN BE UNDERSTANDING. LOVE YA,LOVE THE COUNTRY.

  19. While i agree with the rest of you that she is only one of thousands of mil spouses, she does have very different circumstances that none of us can relate to, and i am a military family so i get it but it would so much harder if you have had the entire world watching you along with the weight of the country on her. I think Katherine as she is now being called is a very gracefull women who has entered a world with rules and expectations. I am from the USA and can say i look up to her as a role model for being so poised and elegant so lets just all give her a break people

  20. spouse2000 | May 5, 2011 at 10:58 pm |
  21. only 10 weeks? thats not even that long. still sucks none-the-less but its still also not that long. i also dont think a seperation like this will ruin a marriage. at least they got a 65 million dollar wedding and a 3 million dollar honeymoon, while most military couples hardly get either of those.

  22. spouse2000 | May 10, 2011 at 9:54 pm |

    I'm so glad they are now able to start their honeymoon. If you didn't like your wedding or honeymoon then why did you do it? I hate it when people say I had it so much harder. Too bad. No one made you marry a guy that wouldn't be able to honeymoon.

  23. Jessie Dark | May 11, 2011 at 4:28 am |

    Boo-who, he's gone for two months while she doesn't have to worry about money, where she'll live, what she'll eat, or how to pay the bills. Sad. And I can almost garentee, that with Princey-poo being who he is (despite the limitations of British royalty nowadays) he will not be in any real and present danger.

    I've heard of women going two years without their husband, worrying about what they're going to feed their kids the next morning. It's honestly sickening to me how anyone could paint (what I feel to be) the ideal military spouse situation, and try and make it something to cry about.

  24. Hubby and I got married one week before he went to BMT, saw him for 3-4 days for graduation then he went to tech. school, saw him for about 10 days for Christmas Exodus, after tech school I saw him for 3 weeks until he was sent on a remote to S. Korea for a year…but I only let him stay there alone for 5 months…I moved there for the remainder of his tour…that was a crazy year!!!

  25. trulyarla | May 26, 2011 at 5:18 pm |

    Thanks for that Sammi–who of us could stand up to living under a microscope?

  26. Ruby T. Miller | May 31, 2011 at 5:14 pm |

    Wow, she is human, and I have had my honeymoon for 40 years! We married, he left in two days for Korea, and after one year later finally came home, and twice it happened, So is military life, and we dealt with it, especially me being a Navy Brat on top of it.
    LIfe happened, and we were grateful we had our "honeymoon" all that time. He also was Honor Man of a Honor Company.
    Kate has a whole country to help her in any way! So deal with it matey!

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