A couple of weeks ago, we told you about a casting call for a new reality show, The Military Wives of San Diego. Many of you expressed skepticism that military spouses would be portrayed fairly. Looks like the Navy shares that skepticism. From a memo distributed to Navy personnel in the San Diego area:
It has come to the attention of the Public Affairs Office, Navy Region Southwest, that a casting company is soliciting military spouses for a new reality TV Show. It is NOT approved or supported by the Navy, and it is highly recommended that the service member and families avoid participating.
Navy personnel should avoid supporting this series as members of the Department of the Navy. Navy spouses who choose to interview, audition, or are later cast in the series will not receive Navy public affairs support or guidance, nor will the production crew be granted access to any military facilities.
As fellow Navy Spouses who want to protect our friends, spouses, shipmates, and the Navy at large, please refrain from supporting this series and discourage others from participating as well.
If there’s no access to base facilities and no filming on base, I wonder if this show can credibly exist. What do you think? Sinking ship, or will the show go on?
This brings up an interesting question. If you wanted to participate in something discouraged by the DoD (or branch), would you do it anyway, or would you heed their warning?
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I laughed out loud when I saw the picture you selected for this post — sums it up nicely, I'd say!
I think it's going to get cancelled. Or if they go ahead with it, it will fail spectacularly. As for whether I'd participate in something discouraged by the DoD, I'd have to say that it would depend on what they were discouraging and why. But I'd probably lean toward listening to the DoD unless it was something really important to me.
I would not want to be involved with this, especailly if the DoD warns not to. I think anyone joining this show would be asking for nothing but trouble, and chances are wouldn't be the strong, resilent, (sane) military wife I'd want representing me. I think that the Coming Home, etc. documentery style shows are great, but it would take it a bit further to have a camera on someone 24/7 with post-editing changing everything around. I think the DoD would support an actual documentary (not docu-soap or whatever they call it) showing how we survive time apart, losses, etc., but this just seems like someone trying to make money off us.
I appreciate your comment. I would be interested in knowing what this "reality" show's real agenda is. They are in it for the money for sure. But what else are they trying to bring to light? Since they hold all the rules of engagement, they could pick and choose whom they wished to include in their show. It might not show how the general military family responds to their spouse's deployment or military career. The military family has it hard enough facing the long or repeated deployments of their spouses and the effect is has on their relationships. Your families face "reality" enough as it is. God bless all of you and know that there are many of us who pray each and every day for our military and their families.
I agree with all of the previous posts. I think the same production company tried to do a reality series here in AL. It was going to be called the Redneck Riviera, which is what the coastal area of AL/FL is called. The city they wanted to film in got wind of it and put a stop to it. Thank God the Navy woke up and realized what is going on.
Seems like whenever one of these new reality shows kick off….inevitably the viewers are treated to a voyeuristic tragedy of watching someone's life and or marriage disintigrate in front of the camera. I don't hink it's a good idea either. The last thing any family under stress needs is for producers, the audience, or whomever to play up the drama and egg it on.
Oh better than that…TRASHY women of all hues will be lined up around the block!
ah, I meant "white trashy" as a general term encompassing all. LOL. Trashiness knows no color. haha.
Any wife who cares about her husband's career, the military community's reputation or her own reputation would not want anything to do with this show, especially after the DoD's warning. Who does that leave to participate? Pretty much only the trashy famewhore wannabes, but that's who the producers want for the show anyway.
I do think the show will go on because the potential for ratings is huge, and despite the DoD's warning and basic common sense there will still be plenty of women wanting to be on this show.
"Any wife who cares about her husband's career, the military community's reputation or her own reputation would not want anything to do with this show"
Exactly! This will do absolutely nothing good for the husbands- the wives are making their own trouble.
I do think they'll go on with it anyway, but I am glad the Navy makes it harder for them. Having seen some commenters on the other thread, I can assure you that there will be those ladies who will tell us that it is their right to do this and that nobody can stop them – and they'd be right. But again, just because someone has the RIGHT to do something doesn't mean they SHOULD do it.
I do wish people didn't try so hard to get their 15 minutes of fame, as most of the time it is rather infamy than real fame, but oh well…
It’s so frustrating to see yet another attempt to exploit and mock and tear apart women. Does anyone else see it that way?
Totally. Just read the interview/survey they posted to get onto the show. They're looking for cat fights. I do not understand why women would want to do this, and why women think it's ok to allow themselves to be portrayed this way. Someone is watching, though. I don't think anyone wants to watch the "REAL" military wives "show". 5am – got up early trying to catch a quick skype. missed it. 2pm: late picking up the kids trying to catch a quick skype. 7pm: finally taking that shower because I guess he's not calling. haha..
Yeah, that is what 90% of Navy Wives do. They are looking more for, 2:00 PM kiss husband, watch ship depart, 4:30 PM go hit Gaslamp and dance, Midnight bring boytoy home. Rinse, lather, repeat.
Interesting thing is in civilian land, the antics of the show just lead to embarrasment. Antics here could land a number of Sailors, via wife gossip, in the sights of the UCMJ.
This is pretty interesting because I love that they want to share there stories. Navy Spouse all understand their responsibilities when they marry their Sailors. There are many ways to spread there stories with the respect and support of the Navy..for example COMPASS and Milispouse Mag
… Or SpouseBUZZ! :-)
Negative, from 23 year's experiance of Navy Life with a wife who was heavily involved in the wive's club and Ombudsman program and raising 3 children more on her own, she can assure you that the majority of enlisted wife's know little to nothing of there responsibilities concerning their husband's military career's. Unless they are on track for E-6 to E-9 most wive's have only a slight idea of even what their husband's do, this is not their fault in most case's because the enlisted member if E-3 to E-5 are forced to live in the local community and this isolate's them from ther millitary community and these will unwittingly be enticed to participate in a show like this thinking it will help them financially.
The rate of a person's spouse really has nothing to to do with knowing or not knowing their responsibilities. It all depends on the person and how much they're willing to learn about the military and also how willing their spouses are to teach them. And living "in the local community" isn't forced nor does it isolate anyone unless they let it. In fact in several overseas situations military members E4 and under are not allowed to live off base.
My husband is enlisted and I have known since before we were married what my husband did, and what he was planning to do for his career. I knew what my responsibilities as his wife were also. He was an E-2 when we got married. He is now an E-6. Also, no one ever forced us to live in the local community. In fact, I refused to live on base. We could have in a heartbeat if I would have wanted to though.
This is pretty interesting because I love that they want to share there stories. Navy Spouse all understand their responsibilities when they marry their Sailors. There are many ways to spread there stories with the respect and support of the Navy..for example COMPASS and Milispouse Mag
I'm glad the Navy has come out publicly to discourage this. I was not looking forward to having our community mocked and scandalized by this show. The article about it in Navy Times said the production company was specifically looking for "Snooki" and "J-Woww" types to be on the show… that doesn't sound like they want to show what our lives are really like.
A Navy PAOs worst nightmare! Problem is, I think the show will do well even without access. Like all other "house wife" outlets, this will be focused on gossip, dirt, and wrong doing. The Navy is damned in they do and damned if they don't. Don't let them on and it becomes juicy as it looks like there is dirt to hide. Let them on an it is considered an endorsement.
Look at the "Real Housewives of the OC" was done. That is how "those" ladies lived yet all of Orange County was painted with that brush.
There was a time when the active duty person was held responsible for the ACTIONS OF HIS OR HER DEPENDENTS………….is this still the same? If not it should be. Throw out the active duty person, if their spouse takes part in this show.
"There was a time when the active duty person was held responsible for the ACTIONS OF HIS OR HER DEPENDENTS" Really? When? can you show me the instruction, regulation or law that stated such?
Even if there were, your desire to turn back the clock 50 years is so heartening to those of us spouses with careers, opinions and political/social perspectives who are not and will not be subservient to some commanding officer's (or his spouse's) expectations.
Welcome to the 21st century.
Actually, you're the one that's wrong and Dee is right. That doesn't mean I completely agree with her opinion though.
When you call the clinic to make an appointment, the line of questions usually goes "Last name? Last 4 of social? Patient's birth date/first name?" If anyone has made more than 1 appointment at the base/post clinic, you know that when they ask for the last 4 of the social, they are referring to your sponsor. Your sponsor is the active duty spouse. When you drive on base, you are doing so being sponsored by your active duty spouse. When you buy gas at the shoppette, you are doing so under the authority of your sponsor. When you shop at the commissary, when you shop at the PX/BX/, etc etc etc.
When you are on base, living in housing or driving around, your sponsor is held responsible for your actions. If I were to get a ticket on base, my husbands command would be notified and he would be spoken to about it. If you really think that an active duty service member won't be held responsible for a dependents actions, I urge you to go driving 20 mph over the posted speed limit and wait to see if your spouse hears about it. The next time your spouse deploys, trash your house and see if housing doesn't contact your spouses command, who in turn contacts them.
Welcome to being married to a military member.
you must either be or have a "trashy" wife/husband and not want to be held accountable for YOUR actions. If that is so then no wonder there is a show in the first place…. I know I'll see your face on it. As high up as I am in the civilian world it almost makes me want to become a lawyer for the DoD just so that I could help them get/keep that garbage off the air.
I have never heard of them being held responsible for a dependent's actions but the way dependent's act, dress etc. can reflect badly on a service member or make them look good too, depending on the circumstance.
Since DoD is overly conservative and "reality shows" are all the rage on national TV, perhaps the Navy should look at this opportunity to show the difficulties of life for Navy spouses. This could be a very good thing to dispell many of the disparaging sterotypes of life in service to the nation. Go for it but make sure there is a good PA spin on it. DoD should avoid any Jerry Springer theatrics and stress the difficulties which these families undergo while their spouses are at sea.
Think Roger Moore
BS! I think the Navy is doing the right thing. Maybe they know the down fall from all other service related reality shows, it does look good on the screen but alot of people are been hurt of the false picture they try to paint to the world. Military Hardship while their spouse at seas being dealt and resolved by its own. Reality BS of a show only hurt military families.
Considering that the company that is looking to put these spouses on tv is the same company that cast for Jersey Shore, I'm entirely positive that there's not going to be a positive spin on this. If that were their intention, they'd be making a documentary, not a reality tv show.
I just think sadly some people won't stop to think about whether it's accurate or not. A lot of people already assume they know what the military life is like with no reason at all, so getting a "glimpe in to the 'real lives'" of these women is just going to make everyone look bad. You're right, we'll all have to be defending and disclaiming if this goes through.
as it is (sadly but a very real scare to my husband) he worries about weather or not I have another man living in our house because of all the tag chasers and trashy, uneducated, unloved women out there screwing over our guys/his friends. Why in the hell would someone LINE UP for those problems. I go out with my friends occasionally but that is all that is and I'm sure if there was a camera on my butt 24/7 they'd only put up the stuff that made me look most incriminating. Those shows and woman who are undedicated to their husbands ruin marriages. Not the military. I would definitely NOT be caught dead on that show and not because the DoD told me not to… but because I RESPECT my husband's feelings and love him as fiercely as any woman could if not more.
We all know anyone who has been in the Navy all the dirty laundry that exists, I prefer that that not be how the public think of us. I can tell you this the show would be a hit but only at the cost of the Navy and personnel in the Navy. To be honest under the UCMJ participation by Navy Personnel or spouses could result in disciplinary action. I should know I got to stand in dress uniform before the skipper a few times.
I am a vet and my mom was a Navy Captain's wife. I am close friends with a retired navy Admiral and his wife. And seeing this from both sides I don't think its such a bad thing to shine a light on these women.
There is no doubt that spouses of career navy men and women endure hardships and obstacles not faced by normal civilians. In fact I would say that its often ten times more difficult for a naval member and spouse to hold a relationship together. Its not all glamour and pomp and happily ever after. In fact before my mom passed she was divorced and living alone. I can see why the navy wouldn't want to damage its already strained recruiting numbers by exposing how much strain is involved in just holding it together.
On the other hand though.. The women that can stay faithful and true in the face of all the options that present themselves when the significant other is out of sight and out of mind. Thats someone I would enjoy watching. Perhaps it would inspire other navy wives to hold fast when they are faced with options that will destroy their relationships.
These reality shows are ultimately about the characters that participate. If the good solid honest men and women of the navy are requested by DOD not,to involve themselves and, they follow up on that suggestion. Don't any of you bitch about the ones that ultimately sign on. Times are tough and the money will be decent if not good. This appears to me to be another instance where the navy preemptively shoots itself in the foot because it might get blemish on its face a year from now. .
I retired as an E-8 after 22 years and my wife and I have been married for 49 years and working towards our 50th anniversary next year. There were hard times during deployments and at bases that I couldn't have my dependents with me for years at a time. I believe the true Navy Wife is one of the strongest there is in all of the military service. If this program were to show the truth of these women and their families then fine but if it is looking for any dirt that the liberal media can use to discredit the military then stay away from it. A better thought for this would be to have the PAO and the Navy to have full say on the filming and editing of this production. But, then it becomes a documentary and that is not what these reality soaps are looking for.
I think it's a good idea….I mean, what is the Navy afraid of. Is that an Adams Class Destroyer in the pick?
your a racist, i read no further once this was appearent, and surly my military hasnt slupped to such a low to allow you to exist except from behind a computor screen
Looks like the military should up ther education requirements. Your post made no sense. I guess spelling is nolonger taught in public schools.
I always giggle when someone who's trying to call someone else stupid, makes a few errors of their own.
and you are uneducated if you have to call "race" as your idea of being insulted. Come up with something more original because no where in any of those comments was a "racial" slur sent out.
I agree, It should not air if the navy does not support it. The producers will only find a way to embarrass the navy and it's service personell.
If it (the show) was not sensational enough, network would drop program like a bad habit. The producers will insert drama where there is none. While they could claim freedom of expression, etc. couldn't the President issue a proclamation to quash stuff like this?
"couldn't the President issue a proclamation to quash stuff like this?"
I thought freedom of speech was in the Constitution we swore to uphold and defend.
Read more: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2011/10/military-wives…
SpouseBUZZ.com
This show will be hilarious. I'll watch it, but then again I am a cynical sob.
I do not think this would be a good idea,dirt sells and that is what they are looking for.And for that matter when your husband joins the military they sign a contract and when you married him you are fathered in to that contract.The military member is responsible for what his spouse and children do.
Does ANYONE see the potential OPCES issues that could arrise? OMG, what a nightmare. And there is no way, for one minute, that I think this will fairly and accuratly deipct the lives the the military wife. The REAL miltary wife… not the few bad apples that get in the bunch.
I think it is a good idea. What is there to hide or be ashamed of. Someone earlier wrote:
"there will be some white trashy wives, who despite all the warnings, will LINE UP to do this. They're not looking for normal wives, like us, they're looking for the ones who are going to be out drinking, slapping each other around, sleeping around, wearing too short skirts and calling each other ***** every 3rd word. Those women won't care that the DoD says it's not supporting this. They're going to do it anyway." My response: yes these women and these family dynamics do exist, and it makes great ratings for TV shows. So why can't they tell there story. Everyone knows that it will not represent the mass of other military families. Like every other reality show, these families have a right to tell their story and make a profit as well. I will definitly watch!!
I seriously think the "wives" portion should be expanded to include navy husbands and possibly gay/lesbian spouses, to shine some light on these unique situations. Because more often, these spouses have much more to deal with than just the stress of being married to a service member.
My hope is that this is done tastefully and accurately, but knowing most reality shows it would be anything but. I'd watch it just to see what direction it takes, but the second it turns into a Jersey Shore crap-fest I'm not watching it ever again.
I'm a navy spouse and I would totally do it. My husband is an officer and has been in for more than 17 years and he thinks I should do it. I'm not trashy and ghetto so I probably wont make the cut but it would be nice to show what this life is really like.
Truth be told that in any walks of life, be it within or outside our military circle, there will be those obscured disreputable individuals who will associate themselves with a respectable and dignified institution to get attention and misrepresent. And for the out-of-touch-with-real-"reality" media addicts, they find them entertaining. Let's just not dwell in this issue. Let's just continue to be the poised, respectable women that we are…shall we, Ladies?
Wow I wonder what poor sailor might lose their job because their spouse decided to participate in this show? My first thought when reading this news was how would this affect deployment activities? Since most wives know pertinent information regarding their hubby's whereabouts, if she slips on national television, it could put sailor lives at risk overseas. I'm with the Navy on this one. Don't participate. It will just lead to trouble for everyone.
They show all the "nice" parts of military family on tv like homecomings. but what about everything else!! like the stress of being a single mom most of the time because of deployments!! having to fall inlove and get used to your spouse all over again after not seing them for 6months or in my case a year!! your kids having to move around and make new friends all the time!! my son went to 3 different schools for just kinder in 2 different states!!!! i think they should let the world see all the bad and crazy military life not just the good!!!