Most of us stand up for those we love. If someone says something bad or does something to hurt your spouse, your protective instincts come out. And Lord help anyone who does our children wrong (or in my case, our fur-children). But do you stand up for YOURSELF?
I injured my shoulder nearly two years ago. When it happened, the Navy orthopedic surgeon I saw told me it was a pulled muscle and to take some muscle relaxers and Ibuprofin and it would go away in a matter of weeks. Three weeks later, my husband helped me PCS to Washington (he had moved 10 months prior).
So I went to a new doctor (not Navy as we were too far away from the closest military base). She immediately put me in physical therapy and to “re-strengthen” my muscles. I asked if I needed an MRI. She said no, it was just weak/pulled muscles.
The physical therapists said I had weak muscles and possibly some tendonitis and bursitis. PT seemed to work for a while, well enough for them to say I could return to doing everything I wanted after just a month of appointments. And I did feel better, but I just could not get over this HUMP and get fully better.
After attempting to get ready for my next physical fitness assessment, I started really hurting again. Back to physical therapy I went. For seven months. I started complaining that I wasn’t getting better. I mean, I got better a LITTLE but then hit this plateau that I just couldn’t break.
I was told I just needed to “push through the pain” to make the muscles better. I went back to my PCM to complain that I wasn’t getting any better. She had x-rays done that didn’t show anything and then…
… then we moved. To a place that was close to a Navy hospital. And I had to start over. With a new doctor. The closest Navy hospital does the “team” approach so you might see one of about five people in the team. I saw the CNA because I had a legitimate concern, coupled with family history, and wanted a referral to an OB-GYN. She refused at first until I actually argued with her. Then she agreed.
The next week, I went to my new PCM and asked for an MRI for my shoulder/neck since I had been in physical therapy for the better part of a year and I wasn’t getting better. This happened to be around PRT time. She argued and told me, “I am an old lady with osteoarthritis in my knee and I can do the PRT… why can’t you?” This was absolutely, 100% unprofessional. Not to mention the physical therapists said I wasn’t ready for it, Navy Reserve doctors said I couldn’t do it, and **I** knew I couldn’t physically do it. She ended up telling me she’d do the MRI, but only for my shoulder and she was only doing it to prove to me I was fine.
Directly after my MRI, I went to the patient advocate. I didn’t even know one existed. Every military hospital has one (and I wouldn’t doubt if all civilian do hospitals too). When she heard how I was treated, she immediately told me she was going to make sure I was allowed to leave the hospital and go into the civilian sector for all my needs because what I experienced was unacceptable.
So I started over with a new doctor. She read my MRI and it said there was nothing found but that they recommended an MRI with dye contrast and a consult with an orthopedic surgeon. So I was sent back to the Navy hospital (at my request because I got a referral to a very highly recommended doctor) where I was told, “It’s just weak muscles and inflammation. Let me give you a cortisone shot and you’ll be all better.” I pointed out that the radiologist had recommended another MRI but with dye contrast and was told that the radiologist must be “overzealous.” (Please note: I think military healthcare professionals are generally awesome and very skilled… I just wasn’t getting the care I needed for these specific problems)
So I promptly called TriCare and asked for a second opinion (yes, you are entitled to a second opinion… and if that is different than the first, you are entitled to a third!). Which I received. THIS orthopedic surgeon did the MRI with dye contrast and still found nothing. But he listened to me and with my symptoms and pain, he recommended doing an “exploratory” arthroscopic surgery. He said he was quite sure I had a labrum tear in my shoulder and that it doesn’t always show up in MRIs… especially the farther you get away from the initial injury.
Today, I am sitting here 2 ½ weeks post-surgery… with four permanent anchors in my shoulder due to a labrum tear and fix. It was actually bad enough that he had to do a semi-open procedure rather than a totally arthroscopic one. The prognosis is good and will hopefully fix everything. TriCare really came through and helped me get the second opinion… and that second opinion has made all the difference in the world. But I knew there was something wrong. Really wrong. More than just “weak muscles” wrong. And I wouldn’t stop until I found someone who would believe me and fix it.
The moral of the story is: Stand up for yourself. Only YOU know when there is something truly wrong with yourself or someone in your family. Find an advocate, but also be your own advocate. Stay strong and keep at it.
Have you had a time where you’ve had to fight for yourself or your family member (health reasons or other reasons)?
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About Wife of a Sailor
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I’m currently in a similar situation. My ankle is messed up and I’ve been trying to get it fixed since June, hoping someone would listen to me. I can’t do pt stuff because it hurts me worse…I go in to Madigan tomorrow for yet another appointment (that should’ve happened a month ago at least and am just getting in now). It’s driving me insane. I’m trying to get it taken care of before May so I can be pain free and on my own feet before getting pregnant again.
Keep on it. And remember, you are entitled to a second opinion!
Thanks for the good tricare story — I feel like sometimes we only like to share stories about what care people do wrong. That "we" includes me, by the way. And while your story does include others dropping the ball — someone we really like to complain about (Tricare), did pick it up. Whew.
During my last pregnancy I had an overzealous NP as the person I saw most often (I wont say she was my assigned provider, since I didnt have one, and I saw her a total of 6 times verses everyone else once or twice). When she ordered me to induce, even though I knew nothing was wrong and that she was basing that decision off inaccurate information, I didnt fight it and I didnt stand up for myself — I wanted that baby OUT pronto! In retrospect it wasn't the wrong decision, but letting things get started naturally is probably better for everyone.
BTW — bonus points for being able to type a post so soon after surgery!
One-handed wonder! I'm learning to do lots of things I never thought I could… try putting on a bra one-handed! I'm just lucky the arm I can use is my dominate one!
I am so glad you stood up for yourself and persistently requested the care you needed and deserved. I do find it's harder to stand up for myself than to go in, figurative guns a-blazin', and advocate for someone else.
I think it's that way for most people. We will go the extra mile for others, but feel it's not worth the effort for ourselves… but we ARE worth it!
It is hard to stand up for yourself when people talk down on you, and sadly enough I run into that again and again at military-run hospitals. Nurses or assistants telling me or my loved ones what is wrong with us in their opinion and "diagnosing" us in tones that suggest we're sissies to even want to see a doctor for whatever ails us. and then comes good old Vitamin M, also known as motrin. This seems to be the cure for everything, including dislodged ribs (don't ask…) and the reminder to just walk it off. There were worse things that I don't want to get into now, but I did finally get fed up and started using ICE, and it's near miraculous how fast attitudes change. I haven't really run into snags with Tricare, they were rather wonderful when I gave birth to my daughter and was able to do so at a civilian hospital in Germany…
My hope is that your information and story will get back to all the people in that chain of events to be a learning lesson to the doctors to listen more to their patients.
I plan to go to the Patient Advocate and let her know. She's awesome and will share the information. If that doesn't work, I'll use the ICE commenting system.
1. How/where do I find the patient advocate & do they exists at MTFs that are just clinic? I have had a terrible experience with the Optometrist for the second year in a row now!
2. I have a similar ankle story only I didn't move, the Physical Therapist PCS'd & my PCM was switched. I tore 2 ligaments in May (2 LOUD pops). After weeks of PT, the physical therapist told me to get a 2nd x-ray thinking they had missed something on the 1st. Did MRI unstead & they said nope, just inflamed – stay off it for a month. Probably the worst thing I could've done but they're supposed to know best & it's an order, right? So I followed the order & then I was about 6 wks out from my PFT. So, I sucked it up, started running & eventually passed with my worst run time ever. That DAY, I called to go back to my PCM & get a new referral. So, now over 5 months later, I am hopefully on track for recovery & an ortho consult was even mentioned as a possibility. Maybe by spring….
I'm not sure if they exist at MTFs that are just clinics. My patient advocate was located with the legal office of the hospital. If you can't find it, call the nearest MTF and ask for the patient advocate and ask her if she covers it.
If that doesn't work, use the ICE commenting system. I've been told they really do listen to those comments.
I had a problem that started when I was 14 and didn't end until I was 19. I was taking a medication that was causing a lot of ridiculous symptoms that were obviously not normal. My doctor told me that the medication could not possibly be causing those symptoms. (when this started I was still a minor and as my parents agreed with the doctor there wasn't much i could do) After my 18th birthday I simply stopped taking the medication. It wasn't until I was 19 that I got a second opinion. The new doctor listened carefully and actually went and got a text book to double check my symptoms and to better explain it to me. The symptoms WERE caused by the medicine. They were caused by overdosing on the medicine. I had been overdosing everyday of my life for over 4 years. The doctor suggested a new medicine and the symptoms went away. However this new medication is now causing massive headaches (which is one of the common side effects) so the doctor wants to keep experimenting until we get the right one for me. It took me a long time to stand up for myself. This caused my gpa in school to be fall and my self esteem to be ruined. I honestly believed I was crazy at some points. If your body says something is wrong. Trust it. You know better than anyone else.
Had one of those when my body didn't like the cocktail of Motrin (again) and antibiotics. I was in severe pain and could barely move around for a few days until I was done with the pills and suddenly I got better again. I checked side effects of Motrin and found some stuff that seemed to have been related to my condition, but when I told the prescribing doc, he laughed it off and said HE never heard of something like that happen. So in essence I was just making it up and who KNOWS what my real problem is…right? I haven't taken Motrin since, because the pain I was in frankly scared me and I don't want to go through that again, but I gave up arguing about it, they won't believe it anyway…
Should read all the way through, just found the post below… maybe it wasn't the cocktail of the antibiotics and the motrin, maybe it was just the antibiotic. I do stand by the notion though that my provider should have at least looked into the issues and what caused them, instead of just laughing it off!
c-o-c-k-tail, yeesh
Just so you don’t feel bad it took me six weeks of fighting with my civilian primary care insurance (tri-care is secondary) to do an MRI on a shoulder that went bad after taking Levaquin (read about this antibiotic before letting anyone perscribe it to you). Turns out after waiting for approval that my civilian health care plan doesn’t require it! It took so long to get “approved” that my should froze and I am now in my nineth week of physical therapy. On top of the “keep looking” if you still hurt message is this: Actually read your plan, including the fine print. The people on those “helpful” #800 numbers often don’t know that your health plan has made specific changes to their overall plan coverage. This includes your Tri-Care coverage!
Reading up on the side effects, I am now wondering whether it was the antibiotic that left me in the condition I described above, thanks for the warning, I'll make sure not to take that specific antibiotic again!
This is extremely familiar, and not unique to many bases/posts I have been at. After a preventable horrible medical injury was caused to my child, I stand up for my family and myself better. Unfortunately, I learned that lesson at a terrible price.
After several years of tests for myself, and years of non specific problems, multiple doctors had me believing I was crazy. I finally got a civilian specialist who *gasp* listened to me. I have a concrete diagnosis, with evidentiary findings, and have started treatment. I keep wondering about all those years lost to illness and the degenerative effect it had on my body. That is from someone who was standing up for herself, and pushing the issue. It took me over 7 years to get answers.
Don't give up. Sure, you might really be crazy, and you might be a hypochondriac, but make sure you are confident with what they tell you. If you have a sinking feeling when you leave the doctor's office, you should try again. ICE and the patient advocate are great tools, but remember you have recourse in the civilian sector also.
I am in somewhat of this same boat. I had laparoscopic salpingectomy (left tube removal & fetus removal) for an ectopic pregnancy in 2009 but since my ovary has attached to the back of my uterus (this happens in 5% of all laparoscopic salpingectomy's). We have been through 4 different medications and birth controls to help elevate the pain that comes an inflamed ovary every other month. This is kill over in the parking lot type pain. They finally suggested for us to have another child to help stretch out the scar tissue and what not down there…well during my labor the only pain I could feel is the pain from the scar tissue and the ovary. But since I delivered my OBGYN has PCS'ed and the new guy said we are trying another way to do birth control to help the inflammation so far it's not working but we are PCSing in a week…so when we get settled I am going to see what I can do about getting a 2nd opinion. They have suggested to try and remove the ovary from where it's attached too but if they screw up I could possibly loose the whole uterus so I need to make sure I am done having kids.
IF you don't stick up for your self no one else will because they don't know your needs and they aren't mind readers! Good job and getting what you need done!
We may as well live in a 3rd world country for all the medical mistakes, misdiagnoses and making patients think it's all in their heads. To all the skilled and caring doctors, nurses and health professionals, sincere thanks…this is not about you.