My parents came to visit us this week. Normally, I would be thrilled to have them, and I was…but we’d only been in our house for about six weeks. We’d had our household goods for about four weeks. I felt just barely settled in by the time they arrived.
On one hand, their coming gave me a pretty firm deadline to have things done around here. I’m not saying that it would have taken forever otherwise, but I may still have been dilly-dallying around trying to decide exactly what to do with things. With their impending arrival, I just made decisions and went with them. While there may still be a little shuffling around, overall I’m pleased with how our stuff is arranged.
Also, having them here forced me to look outside the base to see about some fun things to do with them. I know they mainly came to see the grandkids, but they also wanted to experience Sicily! We spent several days traveling to nearby towns and soaking up the culture. I’m not sure I would have felt ready to do all of that by ourselves if they hadn’t come this week.
On the other hand, despite some research, I felt pretty unprepared. I still felt a little unsettled in our house, and I don’t know that the sightseeing choices we made were the best they could have been. We had a great time, but spent quite a bit of time “exploring” places we hadn’t necessarily intended to see (read: making a lot of U-turns)!!
How long does it take for you to feel ready for company after you PCS? Do you like knowing that a visit is pending; does it push you to get stuff done, or does it just stress you out?
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What a great topic. During one move, our HHGs were delivered on Thursday and on Friday we were informed that some friends would be "dropping by" and staying overnight on Saturday as they would be in the area. Oye!!!
Love our friends, but needless to say, that was WAY too soon….
Wow, that IS quick! I might have arranged a stay at a local hotel…
My in-laws called a few days after our arrival to Ft Riley in 2001 saying they'd be there in two hours. They hadn't even asked permission to come! Just showed up. Needless to say, they've never done that again. They didn't ask to stay with us (and we had no space for them anyway) but we still had to entertain them. Grrrrr.
Permission? Just as I know I am always welcome in my parents house they are welcome in mine. I am always thrilled to have them visit us. But, they are visiting us not site seeing. They come and help unpack and hang things. The have fun with the kids. The will visit the local sites but usually take the kids with them or we all go and have a great time.
I know I'm always welcome at my parents' house, but I still respect their lives and their schedule by calling to be sure it's a good time to visit. They do the same for us. I've never told my parents that they can't come visit, but they call to be sure we don't have other plans before they book their trip. So, yes, they need "permission" to come visit… but it's a matter of respect and courtesy. Boundaries are important!!
Plus, it sounds like Kim's in-laws weren't nearly so helpful as your parents or mine would be… sorry you had a rough experience, Kim!!
The earliest visitors we ever had was aprox 1 week after we made a same post move, just moving from a 2 bedroom apt to a 3 bedroom house. We knew they were coming for months, but when we were told we could move, we had to jump on it. It was my best friend, so I didn't care and it was awesome motivation to get everything done. There were still some boxes to be unpacked, that we just shoved into our storage room, plus my best friend wanted to help me decorate, so it was a huge blessing. We got the last few things up on the walls and then got all my flower gardens planted, and just had a great time.
It's all in your attitude, if someone cares enough about you to visit, make the most of it and enjoy and make great memories!
Excellent point! Like everything else, it's all about the attitude…
We'll PCS for the first time in 6 months. At that time I will have a 3 month old and a 2 year old. I'm asking my mom to come out ASAP especially because we're moving almost everything ourselves (read my husband's doing all the work!). Anyways, the idea of moving with an extremely energetic 2 year old and me getting no sleep is a bit overwhelming so I'm looking forward to every bit of help she can provide. But she knows this isn't a sight seeing trip though I'm sure we'll get out some. I would imagine that it's going to be crazy, but we've tried to communicate our needs so they are prepared and know what to expect.
For our first PCS, my mom came with us. My kids were 4 years old and 5 months old! I feel your pain. Plus, I had injured my right shoulder and could barely lift the baby to feed her. I think she unpacked almost my entire house, and God Bless her for it!!
I was going to make the same point: I wanted guests (read: grandparents) right away so they could entertain our daughter while I unpacked! We got most of the house done the first four days of being here because that's how long we had babysitting help!
We moved from AZ to NC, waited 2 weeks for HHG, and had friends show up to stay the night after the HHG arrived. I’ve never seen my man unpack and CLEAN UP so fast before!! I guess it was a good motivator.
My MIL and SIL came to visit a few days before my husband returned from his second deployment, just as I was moving into a new house on post. That was actually perfect because they helped me get the house arranged from all of us and dh didn't have to do a thing but come home and relax and enjoy being home.