“I know that there are children out there that won’t be developing problems for a good while. But once they come back and go off active duty there’s no help from the military for our families, and that greatly concerns me.”
That statement was made to me last week by Laura Stultz, wife of the Army Reserve’s top general. We were discussing the challenges the Reserve and Guard, in particular, will be facing as the Soldiers come home and the budgets start shrinking.
Stultz is the voice of experience. When her husband, Lt. Gen. Jack Stultz, returned from Desert Storm in the early ‘90s he came back to a very troubled 9-year-old. Their son was full of anger. He would start crying for no apparent reason in school and get teased by his classmates. They thought his emotional turmoil would get better when dad came home. Instead, it got worse.
The early 1990s were not a resource rich time in the Reserve’s history, and Stultz did not know to expect struggles from her son or what to do about them when they came. Eventually the family ended up in counseling, trying to understand what it was their son was feeling.
Now, with a drawdown coming and resources dwindling, both Stultz and Lt. Gen. Stultz are worried that families will find themselves in the same positions they did. Not all deployment related problems show their heads at convenient times, when the Soldier is still activated, counseling is still easily available and you know where to go for help.
The good news is that the Reserve’s leaders see the problem coming down the track and are trying to figure out something to do about it. The bad news is they do not yet really have a plan. So far their best solution is running an address collection campaign to make sure their monthly magazine is hitting as many families as possible and a new survey to see what kinds of resources families are looking for.
Here’s the question: if you were leaders with increasingly limited resources, what would you do?
About Amy Bushatz
Comments
Just like all the families before this war and during all the other wars. The children do just fine. Stop acting like this is the first time children have seen their parent (s) go off to war and not be around for awhile. My children turned out better for the experience of travel and meeting so many friends along the way.
Just because YOUR children adjusted " fine" , doesn't mean that everone else's do. For some, it IS the first time for deployment, and they don't always have the proper support to prepare them. My children were young, and knew enough to realize that Daddy was leaving… that they missed him terribly. There was no explaining to them the logistics, concept of time, dangers that he would face.My youngest withdrew into herself to cope, and refused to talk to her father when he called. My oldest developed depression and cried for him often. That is NOT " fine" by any means. We did counseling for the entire year, just to help them cope, in spite of my constant support and comfort. I agree that experiencing multiple places can be beneficial…. I believe it made my children more well – rounded and tolerant of other cultures, but deployment is much different than a PCS move. There is not a family unit.. there is much more stress involved…older children are concerned for their parents safety…That's alot for a child or teenager to cope with. I'm glad that your children were " just fine", but please don't speak for other families that are dealing with different situations…..
I find in my 16 years of experience as a Soldier, Army wife and mother, that my attitudes and ways of dealing with stress are greatly followed by my spouse and children. If I'm worked and stressed, so is most everyone else under our roof. I am the tone setter, as most wives and mothers are, especially the stay at home military mothers. Allowing the freedom to express volatile, up and down emotions while maintaining the sense of physical and emotional stability and security is key to a successful military family. As long as mama holds down the fort with loving kindness and strength, the rest of the family will be able to feel, express, and come to terms with their emotional states in a healthy outcome. Sometimes outside help is required. If mama's a train wreck before, during and while daddy's gone who on earth are these children getting their security from? Good luck and keep your chins up!