I will never run in combat boots. It is a little rule I have. So generally I don’t care about what all those patches and badges on a uniform really mean. My strategy for rank is to call everyone in uniform Sir or Ma’am and smile like an idiot.
It works for me.
So I was really surprised at how useful I found Mary Corbett’s new book National Guard 101: A Handbook for Military Spouses. I flipped through it expecting the boring little DoD chart showing all the ranks and stuff you will never use. Instead, Corbett goes to the trouble of explaining the tasks of each rank and how they fit together, and hands us a great National Guard quote in the process. I never knew any of that. 
She also has a fabulous explanation of how people in the military actually get promoted. For Guard spouses who feel disconnected from group wisdom, this tight little book works.
It works best though when Corbett goes into the unwritten rules of how to get help during deployment. She is right on the money when she notes that if you don’t ask for help, you should not expect it. I recognize her three pronged approach as the kind of Spartan tactic that both protects your dignity AND elicits the actual help you need. But first, you have to learn to ask…
“As much as we would all like an endless army of do-gooders at our beck and call, life just does not work like that. The fact is that if you don’t ask for help, you should not expect it.” – Mary Corbett: National Guard 101: A Handbook for Military Spouses.
Navy wife Jacey Eckhart is Editor of SpouseBuzz and author of I Married a Spartan?? The Care and Feeding of Your Military Marriage.
About Jacey Eckhart
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Thanks so much, Jackie. I hate asking for help. Hate it. But I'm putting my own advice to the test. I put together my own "Personal Assistance League" (PAL). A fellow Guard wife helped me "do the asking" on my behalf and it's worked like a charm, Sure, it's a little surprising when people that you expected to help (and have helped with things in the past are MIA, but even MORE surprising is the people who have stepped in to support our family while Jon is away. I've made new friends and deepened friendships. It's a pride sucker having to ask people to help you…and it hurts your feelings that they don't just offer on their own. But such is life! The PAL plan seems to be working thus far and I'm a lot less lonely than the last deployment! I really appreciate your review of http://www.National Guard 101.com. Going to be on Fox and Friends this Friday, 6:40 EST to discuss. I'm going to link this to my page. Mary
Thanks, Jacey. I hate asking for help and have had to put my own advice to the test. I set up the same kind of Personal Assistance League (PAL) I discuss in the book and it's worked like a charm. Best part? My Guard wife/friend did the asking for me. Sure, there are people that are MIA but there are more people that make up for it and provide support. I'm going to discuss the book on Fox and Friends this Friday, 2/28 at 6:40 EST. I'm going to link your reviewlink to your book to my website. Thanks again for taking the time to read and review it. Mary Corbett, National Guard 101: A Handbook for Spouses. http://www.MaryCorbett.com
Thank you for mentioning our book, National Guard 101. If you would like more information about the book, including an excerpt, or its author, please check at http://www.marycorbett.com. For the early birds out there, you can catch Mary Corbett on Fox and Friends Friday morning, February 24 at 6:40 am EST talking about National Guard 101!
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What a great quote. I have run into many spouses who are expecting there needs to be accomodated by others. They don't seem to get that we have to help ourselves and part of helping ourselves is knowing when it's time to ask for help. This whole "what are you going to do for me" mentality is not conducive to one's happiness as a military spouse. We are a giving community but we also have our own full plates and cannot constantly hold someone's hand as they navigate military life.
very nice
Got any little books like that for Marines? lol