Make New Friends When Your Best Bud Goes PCS

Living on base means that your best friend is just about to PCS out.  Then again, living on base ALSO means that your new best friend is just about to PCS in.   Or maybe your new best friend lives four blocks away and you just haven’t met her yet.   Here are some friend making tips from Marine wives stationed at Twentynine Palms, CA at our recent SpouseBuzz LIVE event.

1. Be positive: be a good friend. Looking for new friends is kinda like dating.  When you are in the market for a new friend, you want to put your best self out there to better your chances of meeting someone great.


2. Don’t be judgmental.  Maybe the first time you met a potential friend she was not having the best day. Maybe her shoes were too tight.  Maybe she dressed her kids like elves and that seemed a bit off to you.  When you are in the market for a new friend, reopen your mind and consider all potentials in your area.


3. Get involved with unit and local events.  Yeah, yeah, you have heard this suggestion before.  That is because too many of us met our best friend of all time at a unit event we did not want to attend.  Think of this as clubbing for the stroller set.


4. If you have kids, use them!  Talking about strollers, kids are the best way to meet new friends.  Keep track of your playground to see what time your child’s age group is most likely to show.  Hunt down new playgrounds and water parks you have not yet attended if you aren’t crazy about the moms at your usual park.  Show up a little early for pickup from school to chat with other moms.


5. Don’t expect much from referrals.  When you PCS in to a place, your friends often already know someone who lives there.  “You’ll LOVE Gigi!” they exclaim.  You probably will NOT love Gigi.  But definitely meet Gigi at least once.  Cuz you never know.


6. Avoid Facebook friending before you meet.  Sometimes that friend referral means that someone wants to friend you on Facebook before they PCS.  You might dodge that request. When you live on base, unfriending someone on Facebook is often more of a statement than you really wanna make.


7. Get a job to meet others.  Americans are happy at work as long as they have at least one friend in the building.  Get in the building and be that friend.


8. Don’t give your life story to everyone.  In military life, we often rush friendship.   Hello. My name is Marcia.  This is our dog Mr. Sprinkles and my sister Thumbelina who just moved in with us because we were Siamese twins until last April and I can still feel her swallow from 2000 miles away. Can we borrow a Sucret?


9. Reach out to new wives.  A moving van unloading in your neighborhood is an invitation to friendship.  Maybe not that day, though. Instead, make it a rule that the first time you see the other family outside that you go introduce yourself.


10. Accept a reach out from another spouse.  When you are back on the market for friendship, anyone who asks you for coffee or a let’s-take-the-kids-to-the-pool day, I-made-a-pitcher-of-mojitos-and-I-cannot-drink-them-all-myself  night is a good prospect.  Clearly, they have already looked you over and liked you enough to make an invitation.  Run with it.