After a soldier this month notified a military spouse of her husband’s downrange death over Facebook and a pair of fellow spouses shared the news with a spouse first over Facebook and then text message in February, we started wondering: does the military need to update their notification process to get the word to families faster?
Mind you, we have no solid ideas of how to make this happen. But that doesn’t mean we can’t ask the question.
Take our poll below let us know what you think – should the process be updated? Or should OPSEC simply be followed? Should we just admit that stupid people can’t be fixed? After you take it you’ll be redirected back to this page to see the updated results, also below:
Fill out my online form.
Here are the poll’s results:
About Amy Bushatz
Comments
I have to say that I don't know the intimate details of the current notification process, but I believe that an in-person notification is an absolute requirement. The family deserves that respect and support.
Stricter punishments for OPSEC violations would probably help.
Agreed
Who in their right minds would want an "email" or "text" death or missing notification? Troops have NO business telling spouses of KIA/WIA/MIA status. That should be done face to face. Others quite often DO NOT KNOW the final facts of what happened and most spouses would want that. Troops are violating OPSEC releasing this sort of information and it is not helpful to the family to get it any sooner than the soldiers' Commander. Totally disrespectul to the bereived.
I'm a Soldier and I don't think that there is anything wrong with the Army's notification process. I know when I was deployed and if anything happened anywhere in the vicinity, whether it was on our FOB or close by. IMMEDIATELY, all phone and internet access was suspended. If you had a cell phone or the Hagi internet service, you were counseled on the standards of BLACKOUT. If the standards was violated, UCMJ action would be taken. That Soldier needs to be dealt with seriously. She had no right notifying that spouse in that way. Sooooooo much could have gone wrong. Arielle seems to be a pretty strong woman and held it together for her kids, but what if she wasn't. My prayers goes out to Arielle and her family. Hopefully this Soldier doesn't get away with this so that the rest of the world knows that the system does work. If she gets away with it, with just a tap on the hand, you can bet it is going to happen again. Hold her accountable for her actions.
I agree, as a military wife I would NEVER want to find out in such a way…..ESPECIALLY in front of my children! What if she had went into shock while ALONE w' her little ones? What if she had went into premature labor and no one was there to be w' her? The system that is in place currently is the best way and SHOULDN'T be changed just b'c of stupid ppl!
I think the way they do now in the way they notify a spouse is fine, maybe it can be done a little faster. I am sure the soldier who did the facebook thing and the call, was suffering herself and it was her way of reaching out. Wrong as it might have been, our soldiers are going through enough being over there, seeing their comrades being killed would cripple anyone. I think we all need to show forgiveness even though it wasn't done the right way and maybe bring our troups together before they leave and during their stay over there and let them vent their feelings and remind them that learning of someones death other then in person is very disrespectful. I don't think this soldier thought what she did was wrong at the time, I think she needs emotional help. Our soldiers need our support when they might be at their weakest. God Bless everyone and remember to forgive.
As a mother of a Solider who servered several tours in Iraq, I total agree with Myrle, the spouse or parent should ONLY be notiifed in person. The Soldier who notified this spouse should be dealt with.
I see this picture from "We Were Soldiers" where the military simply sent the telegrams to the spouse by taxi. Then, Mrs Moore went to each house to deliever, by hand, the letter. Since then, there has been put in place a respectful, honorable way to notify the spouse.
On past deployments I have been on, if I wanted to find out our departure date, just look at the e-mails the wives knew before our command did. There should be big repercussions for breaking OPSEC. How would a wife feel if a transport was shot down killing all on board, all because someother spouse blabbed.
There is nothing wrong with the current notification process. It's as respectful and humane as possible, under the conditions. What's wrong is people, military and civilian, thinking it's acceptable to take the notification process into their own hands and in doing so causing more grief and anguish for the affected families. Since this is now a recurring problem the military needs to put harsh measures in place to punish those who choose to break the rules in such an insensitive way.
As a retired Soldier I know the process and I believe that this cold have been done better. There is always a fall guy for unfortunately this Soldier will take the heat round for a slow antiquited system. See how long it takes for this spouse to find out what really happened. That is what they need to explain to the spouse so the kids will know. No one knows this process like a combat vet. My prayers go out to this spouse and for this young soldier who probably thought she was trying to help bt broke the rules in the process
LTC to CWO, it's "antiquated" for a reason. To SLOW DOWN the information until everything the spouse could/should know is gathered and cleared of OPSEC violations. There is no "speed-need" to justify loss of security. And, just because THAT operation came to an end does not mean that it will not be loaded with intel for the enemy to resist future operations by our troops. The least that needs to happen is a serious 'nasty' on his/her EER/OER in the section regarding judgement. I've deployed twice over there and I in NO WAY would want one of my "co-workers" to just twitter or email back to the house, "oh, by the way, your hubby is dead" (or missing). This contact is intentionally left to the Command. If they're "slow", that is another issue. This should ALWAYS be a face-to-face meeting to inform a spouse of the loss.
Why in the world would this soldier decide to call the spouse unless she has a sick, sadistic need to be the first to spread the "gossip" about her husband's death. I can't even imagine you could possibly have any sympathy for this moron of a soldier. Her very actions diminished the solemnity of the occasion that the "antiquated" system is trying to respect and honor.
This is not an OPSEC violation!
Of course it is . What planet are you from anyway. !!!
This most certainly is an OPSEC violation.
ANYTHING that changes the opposing side’s perception of your operational capabilities is definitely an OPSEC violation. Anyone who thinks differently has never been exposed to military life. I lived, breathed, and slept with OPSEC for over 20 years in the Navy Security Group. Even my wife had no idea what I was doing – not even now after 25 years retired.
So, the enemy getting intel that a given FOB is now down 2 or 20 troops isn't "intel" and not a "OPSEC violation"? That's nuts. Even worse would be if they were missing in action. Then the enemy knows to go searching for them and will try to capture them (especially behind enemy lines). EVERYTHING on a FOB relates to OPSEC even if it's how much waste the base produces daily. IF the base turns out an average of 300 lbs of waste daily per soldier and suddenly the enemy starts noticing that the base is turning out a higher/lower quantity, they'll know your manning went up or down based just on your waste output. It's ALL OPSEC.
I worked in Army Casualty for three years and intimately know the regs and details regarding the notification process. There is nothing wrong with the process- the problem is Soldiers who cannot seem to contain themselves with the need to tell all as fast as possible. What is equally concerning is most Soldiers have clearances and are trusted with matters of National Security. What else are they telling and sharing with their spouses and friends? The only remedy to this is swift and just punishment. Perhaps a dishonerable discharge from the source-originating Soldier when this happens. Without punishment for this, it will continue, and the punishment needs to send a strong message: this will not be tolerated.
@ Staci,
Swift remedy and a strong message, while I agree with you that the notification process is working just fine there is a source to a problem.
I would submit that the leadership needs to feel some of this "swift remedy" and "strong message". To this point that is where the military lacks in effective policy enforcement. The soldier should not have talked, in fact if he or she holds a clearance then a review of their clearance should be conducted, if need be then revoke the clearance. Often the case becomes that bodies are needed, so a wave of the hand is made granting theater clearances.
A more logical approach would be to revoke the clearance as I mentioned above. Further you can always re-assign he soldier to another unit as a form of rehabilitation before separation. But to suggest a dishonorable discharge is a bit much I think. But if you think it is appropriate (dishonorable discharge) then remember that when you walk out of the office with a skill craft pen in your hand, pocket or lapel. The same logic should apply as well, you should be immediately fired.
v/r
Al D’Adda
court martial, reduced to E-1 and a minimum of one year in a room with a view of the Missouri River from the Kansas side of the river
I don't believe this should be under the same as sharing important information that will put our soldiers in harm. Yes she did it the wrong way. People all arn't perfect. Let her know what she did was wrong and deal with it in a lesser harsh way, Like apploigizing to the mother. Doing time off without pay, but dishonerable discharge it too harsh. She is over their in harms way, she does not deserve being dishonorably discharged. The thing is, make sure you are telling the soldiers before they go over that they are not to report anyones injury or death unless asked to do so and make sure before what will happen if they do. If they were told they would be dishonorably discharged for acting out of place with anything, then yes maybe being dishonorably discharged is right.
I like the one option on the survey that says "Can't fix stupid"!!!
Not sure who these people think they are that think they can notify families of injuries or death. The soldier that leaked the info should be fried. This is one of the reasons I hate technology and facebook. No I do not have a facebook account.
What a horrible, stupid woman. If she doesn't get in really BIG TROUBLE that will prove to me once and for all that the military totally disrespects military families. I could never forgive someone for doing such a disgusting thing. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahh, not letting the system work boils my blood. The system is NOT slow, it is efficient and ensures that NO mistakes are made. In our current world, most relatives of the KIA do not live in the same place..thus delaying notification of all of the pertinent persons or the release of the information to the media. Being a Casualty Notification Officer is not an easy job – nor is the Casualty Assistance team. There is a reason that there are different groups for each of those jobs and each team receives special training. Information makes some people feel sooo powerful….too bad they do not know how to use it. Why would anyone want to be "the first" to deliver that information? Far more kudos to those spouses and servicemen that are available to the families of our KIA's and help them navigate the unthinkable and hold life together during this difficult time. Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and even cell phones have made communication so much easier for those deployed far from home – but the are also a HUGE issue for OPSEC. Personally, I am not sure it is worth the extra heart-ache it all causes…..
PAB…you said exactly what I wanted to say…and probably much more eloquently. Thank you.
There should be a stiff punishment for leaking out this information…and if there isn't, more spouses will be notified outside of the official channels and it will affect them for life. This punishment needs to be for service members and family members alike. I don't know what that would be, but spouses need to understand that they are being held responsible for their actions.
(Part 1) As both a surviving spouse and veteran myself, I have the utmost respect for the notification system which the military utilizes to inform next of kin on the death of their loved one. It worked flawlessly in the situation of my husband's family and my notification of his sudden death and I cannot say enough on how professional and caring everyone was throughout the entire process. I too strongly agree that if severe punishments would be implemented for "stupid or insensitive acts" such as those that have occurred, the system would work the way it should. Unfortunately, the nature of the beast in regards to how our culture and society have to have everything immediate when it comes to information, entertainment or anything else, has caused many people to ignore good old fashioned etiquette and handling of personal business. This is one reason I don't care for FB-people become friends with others who they haven't even met or have spoken to once and then share intimate details of their or others' lives all for the sake of FYI. My heart goes out to both these spouses and their families for not only their losses but also for the way in which they were informed.
(Part 2) There is an old saying "don't shoot the messenger" and while this is a noteworthy and useful saying for the most part and while I don't think the messengers in these cases should suffer this harsh of a consequence obviously, perhaps some lesser form of punishment would be sufficient and would serve to prevent any further OPSEC leaks from occuring and more families being emotionally harmed in this way.
That STUPID woman that notified the lady by phone shoul be in deep trouble if she Isn't. I have never heard of such a gut wrenching method. I hope they put the Idiot in jail ok kick her out of the military.
What happens if the SSGT wasn't dead after all? Let the military do the notification properly.
The notification needs to be faster WAYYYY FASTER! the man was dead for a freakin week did anybody not read that?! come on now! if the notification process was faster then there wouldnt be time for stupid people to get to the spouses first! and obviously they arent stupid if they are giving CORECT info that the person has past away! personaly, i hate that everyone is going around behind my back on facebook and every where else knowing before i do my own important business that my spouse cheated on me!!!! and you all are saying to keep talking about it behind my back untill its convenient for a "notification process" to contact me and let me know?!
I am having trouble comparing a cheating spouse with the horrendous shock of losing a spouse. But then it seems you have issues that have no place in this discussion.
This has to be one of the stupidest responses I've read yet. Comparing your spouse cheating on you with an death notification is utterly ridiculous. Since you've show just stupid you can be, I do believe I know why your spouse was cheating on you. Oh, in case your weren't aware, there is NO 'notification process" for informing some one that their spouse is cheating, also, correct is spelled "CORRECT" not "CORECT" as you spelled it. That soldier who made that unauthorized call should be court Marchalled. No doubt you've never spend any time in the military otherwise you probably wouldn't have made such a stupid statement.
your spouse cheating on you has nothing to do with a wife losing her husband in a war and the respective military branch going to the house of there fallen brothern and showing his family the very highest levels of respect. your someone who shouldnt be talking on this subject cause your NOT a military member or ever have been cause if you are/were you would understand why this stupid woman who called this mans wife to tell him hes dead should be put in the brige loss of all pay and then kicked out
um yeah, the notification goes through a process where paper work sits on peoples desks for a day or 2 untill its shuffled through and someone says "here private, put this on srgnt so and so's desk" and it sits there another day or 2 before actions are taken with a signature of a high ranking person, trust me my husband deals with that and does paper work for serious matters just like this and came across this a while ago and was stunned at the "car dealership" way they treated the paper work… they way things are on hold! this could and should have been authorized to have been put out for a red cross notification AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED!!
um yeah. If you actually read the article, the notification process was not that delayed. Are you illiterate or just ignorant? Based on your description, your husband sounds like the typical low ranking malcontent who is incapable of comprehending that there may be other things going on than what he can see in his worm's eye view.
u would be surprised at the level the military will put things on hush even to family untill they get details. i know i was an frg leader, yes even a measly frg leader was preveiwed to that stuff cuz when i had info, important info direct from the commander, i was told not to give out untill he gave the ok….. so u know what? its b.s. all u people saying military notification is great, if so then even stupid people wouldnt have time to get to the family member first, no way no how cuz the notifcation would be on that real quick before gossip could get out to the stupid people!
PLEASE do everyone else a HUGE favor and not post anymore!! Not only are you being obviously totally insensitive about this subject and about those who HAVE BEEN in this position like myself, but your English skills are so poor not to mention your extremely poor taste in communicating, that is not worth reading your disgraceful comments. Show some respect and maturity. THIS IS NOT YOUR FB account!
I am Ex-Military. Yes the Lady did what she was not supposed to do. It should have been OPSEC's job, but like he said The Soldier had been dead for at least a week. Think of the spouse sitting at home. Maybe The Soldier called the spouse or got ahold of her quite frequently during the week. Whats she to think if she doesn't hear from him and it takes OPSEC a whole week to even begin to deliver the news? Getting kicked out of the military and all that other crap seems a bit harsh for just a simple phone call to the Soldiers wife. Yes She violated chain of command, but kicking her out of the Military is too harsh.
If you read the article the spouse was extremely upset by the way she learned about her husband's death. The soldier violated the rules, the consequences were extremely harsh for the surviving spouse and kicking her out of the military is the least that should happen. If she isn't willing to follow the rules, why on earth would any employer want to retain her?
Wow. You must have the unlimited texting plan on your phone because nothing beats "real quick". No wonder you were such a "measly" person in the military.
unless you are an actual military member or military spouse – don't even respond because it is not your place to comment. Speak not of what you do not know! When I was deployed to Iraq we lost (3) friends. The entire base went to "river city" (complete communications block). It took 12 days before anyone could get to a phone or computer to inform their spouse that they were still alive. The time was required to make the proper notification. Cell phones (or reporters) have no business in a combat zone. It is a horrible task we ask men and woned to do – no one should ever question them about how it is done! Respect the system it has been in place since the Great Wars! can imagine Mr. and Mrs Sullivan gtting a random call from a friend (on a party line) telling them that all 5 of their sons were killed. Outrageous!
Man what going with today’s soldiers they know the REG it not hard being a good soldier you never call never I’m a 23 year veteran sorry to the family
I find it ironic that The White House, SOCOM, CENTCOM, and others can watch in real time SF teams hit targets like Bin Laden. but it takes over a week to inform a family member of their loss. Today OPSEC has become a catchall for the lumbering military bureaucracy that has 75 support troops for every soldier in the field.
It's easier to say OPSEC then to admit the death notification had to cross 20 desks who's jockey's think they are important and work banker's hours.
Do I think what the soldier did was wrong? Yes. Do I think that the current system needs a massive overhaul? Most definitively Yes!
It doesn't take a week…in most instances, it's less than 24 hours. Do your homework. The casualty assistance officers work all hours of the day and night regardless of their own family. You have not business speaking offensively about a system you clearly know nothing about.
I see, being this is the first time I've posted here I forgot to post my pedigree, Desert Storm vet, years in the Army and Guard. Now with that out of the way. If it was less then 24 hours then there would not be so many stories of this happening. But as you said "In most instances".
I didn't come here to start a peeing contest. I came because I was mad at what she and others like her have done. I learned in Basic that if you have something to say then you better have a suggestion for a solution and not just gripe. I did that.
Are you trying to tell us that the Bin Laden assassination was available for public viewing without any review and release approval? And that you are comparing it to this situation? Really? You have never even been in the service or you would know better. Shame on you for posting this garbage.
Read Jim Sheeler's book, The Final Salute. NO ONE in the notification process would EVER sit on it and how dare you make such a claim. Jockeys? What world do you live in that you think the life of a fellow Soldier, Marine, Sailor, or Airmen is that meaningless?
I will check that out. If I may make a counter suggestion: Taking Chance. with Kevin Bacon. It showed me a side of the military I knew about vaguely. As I stated, I didn't come here to fight, I came here with the intent of reading the article and some of the comments irritated me as much as the story. As I said:
"Do I think what the soldier did was wrong? Yes. Do I think that the current system needs a massive overhaul? Most definitively Yes!"
Dragonfly: I was saying the speed of communication today and the notification of Next of Kin should be comparable.
I'm beginning to wonder if either of you read my post but just grabbed a line out of it to be "offended" by. I don't condone what they did and I think it's horrible. I'm not bashing the notification system, it's a tough job (after watching Taking Chance and getting a better understanding) I was just suggesting streamlining the notification procedure so no more of these tragedies will happen.
Read more: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/04/poll-should-th…
SpouseBUZZ.com
I am a 19 year veteran and was the toc ncoic for a brigade in iraq. it was drilled into each soldier the reasons for opsec. to have someone disregard army protocol and take it upon themselves is repulsive. does that person think they are qualified to handle the situation. you leave the notification process to those who are trained to handle that responsibility. the army does need to look at ways of speeding up the process. the other is they need to discipline those you do not follow the orders of their superiors. failure to obey a lawful order comes to mind. conduct unbecoming is another. i feel bad for the family finding out of the death in that manner. if people only stopped for a second and put themselves in the others shoes. asking themselves is this a way they would like to be notified. i think they would see things differently. God bless the family and hope he can give them strength in their time of need.
Spent 8 Years on USMC recruiting in Michigan during in-between tours in Vietnam. Was given the responsibility of notifying NOK of MIA:KIA & WIA Marines. Tough to do, but, we did it the right way. 24 hours to notify NOK in person & then assure HQMC that notification was done as required. Telegram was then released to NOK with exact details that the recruiter informed NOK of in person. Assistance was then offered to NOKs family for burial arrangements. I see no other way that this situation can be handled as difficult as it was to do. Semper Fidelis Ed Schultz GySGT USMC Retired
As a retired military Officer who actually had the unfortunate position of advising families of the a loss in a family, any individual who is not trained or in a direct FAO or SAO position needs to stay OUT OF IT.
There is no worse situation then having to tell someone that a person they love will not be coming home the same way they left.
The military system UNLIKE SOCIAL networking is not at the whim of an indvidual. This individual and others were wrong in what they did, and should be dealt with by the Chain of Command.
Do we need to change the system…. definitely not… Adhere to the regs, Period.
I agree with the many others. Also advertise Article 15 justice and Removal from promotion list a must! Individual shows poor judgment!
As a current member of the military and a current casualty notification officer I have to say the system in place is typically good (no not perfect). There are instances when the process is slower than usual, but there is most likely a reason we don’t know. In this case it could have been faster, but might have been done wrong. In my career field speed is often critical but not Always! Notification required details and facts and there’s probably a lot in this situation we dont know that could have slowed the process.
The Soldier that made the call was wrong. It wasn’t her place, but don’t crucify her. Council and educate her. Give her a chance to learn from her mistake. Her punishment…have her apologize to the spouse and spend some time working in the casualty notification/assistance center.
As a current member of the military and a current casualty notification officer I have to say the system in place is typically good (no not perfect). There are instances when the process is slower than usual, but there is most likely a reason we don’t know. In this case it could have been faster, but might have been done wrong. In my career field speed is often critical but not Always! Notification required details and facts and there’s probably a lot in this situation we dont know that could have slowed the process.
A death of a Soldier KIA or a death of anyone is something that one must face during our live. The Notification process has evolved from the days when telegram was sent to the family letting them know about the death of a soldier. It is my understanding that the people who do face to face notifications receive training on how to handle the reaction of the family members when notified. If they don't they should. But learning about the death of a family member on Facebook or other social media, is not the best way to handle this. If I would have died or been injured, in combat I would prefer that a face to face notification to my family. I am sure that if the notification process is delayed that there must be a reason, for the delay. So let the families of our fallen be notified with upmost respect, honor and dignity. Let the trained professionals do their jobs.
As a retired Army chaplain, I accompanied my share of notification officers during my career. The chaplain does not make the notification but accompanies the command to support the one making the notification and to comfort the family who received the news of the death of their loved one. I must admit that in the majority of cases, and this is before the advent of facebook and twitter, the family already knew that their loved one had died or been killed. I firmly believe, however, that a personal "face-to-face" notification is a "must." Being on a notification team is one of the hardest things a Soldier is called on to do…but it is also the right thing to do.
Notification process is sufficient in my opinion. Spouse was wrong, but the service member is the one that should get the blame and punished. (I am the unit deployment manager)We had an exercise once where only a handful of people knew it was a drill. Recalled everyone in at 0500hrs. Commander told everyone we were deploying in 4hrs on a mission and to pack there bags and gear. He told everyone to not contact anyone, that it was a SECRET mission. Well within a half an hour we had a few spouses at the unit crying and saying their husband cant go! Exercise, exercise… those guys got Letter of Reprimands. We just wanted to see how many would disobey. Hell, my own supervisor was angry I didnt give him a heads up. Wish I had let him in on the plan, basically wanted me to disobey the commander.
So I believe a more severe punishment should be given for leaking any info, like a automatic reduction in rank. Maybe that will keep mouths shut knowing you wont just get a lecture and sign a piece of paper.
Being retired Army, 21.5 years, I know the rules related to notification of next of kin in the terrible case their Soldier was KIA or similar. This war's been going on for a long time. So long, that the Soldier that told the wife has probably not been in as long as the war has been going on. I hate to think Commands might have failed to emphasize notification rules better than they did, perhaps due to so many rotations overseas that some things are forgotten about or overlooked.
There is NO good way to tell someone their spouse was killed. Whether one dies at 16 or 60, those close to him/her will still feel very sad, and tears shall be shed. That said, better control of communication devices while deployed forward as well as more emphasis on OPSEC. I think Soldiers are fairly well trained on OPSEC, many just don't associate this type of rule with it. They think OPSEC has only to do with keeping upcoming missions secret and such. That is a big area missed during training that might have mitigated this entire thing. I don't know. Sad. RIP Warrior, we have it from here.
Too many cell phones. Too few brains.
In today's technological minded society, young folks don't think about what they are doing and the impact it can have on others. If cyber bullying is wrong, then cyber notifications that are not in accord with common sense is wrong. But young people don't think and that is part of the problem. While the GIs in uniform understand the situation, it is relatives who totally screw up things thinking they know better. Information is treated as game of one-upmanship. Cell phone companies promote this stupid ideas in their commercials about having information right away. Using sensitive information for personal gain is another sign of the deterioation of society due to the consequences of technology. Cyber gossip is wrong.
I was deployed with the 101st 3rd STB, in Iraq from 05-06, One thing you might not know is that many bases have what they call an MWR, and they often contain computers with net access. Not sure about the current restrictions now, (it has been way too many years for me to do more than speculate) but we were able to access most things like facebook and youtube at the time. Many units also run their own access to the internet as well. Its not easy to clamp down on stuff without resorting to simply blocking access to those sites, and not everyone has the same dime of common sense as the next person dispite the efforts of command to try and pound it into people regarding information flow.
That said, I agree with most of the people talking their piece here, what happened was against all common procedure, and whoever did it definitely broke OPSEC as well as many different regulations. As I understand it when a notification takes place there is a reason we tell people face to face, and often a chaplain is along with the required minimum two military personnel who are performing notification.
I think one of the most terrible things I can possibly imagine happening to my family is getting that kind of notification one day, and knowing all the information that the military can give surrounding the death, the presence of a chaplain, and the waiting support of family readyness group would be much more preferable than being struck with it blind, like in this situation.
As a youg SSgt. I used the axium Can't fix Stupid. After seeing a simular inccident the First seargent showed me how to fix stupid. He discharged them and fixed the problem.
How awful to get that kind of news on Facebook or text, of all places!!! God, people should think twice before putting that kind of thing ONLINE, in a PUBLIC SETTING.
At the very least, whoever did the posting should have considered that the spouse of the fallen soldier deserved to hear the news IN PERSON.
Not to mention, if someone is posting it online, how on earth can the facts be verified?? Who knows where they got their information? It could've turned out that it was all a big mistake and either it wasn't that person's spouse at all, or that the entire thing was a misunderstanding and NOBODY had died in that skirmish.
There's a reason these things are done through official channels, so they can make sure they're notifying the RIGHT spouse, for instance.
Whoever thinks it's a good idea to just blurt out things like that on Facebook or text message needs a reality check, because that is just insensitive, if not downright cruel.