Should You Put Wife Porn in Your Care Package?

Operation Seasons Greetings brings holiday cheer to overseas Airmen

We had to laugh over our Care Package Quiz. The most popular item to include in a care package is … “pictures the kids should never ever see.”

Instead of pictures of the kids, prepackaged goodies, or useful items, 1 in 4 of you picked the naughty pictures. By that, we figured you were talking about bikini photos, right? Glamour shots? Clothed boudoir prints? No?

OK, naked pictures.  Even wife porn.  Wow. Should you send wife porn to your deployed service member or not?

Amy, our managing editor, thinks you are taking a chance sending that kind of picture. After all the comments from our readers, Amy kept thinking those boudoir pictures could be lost or stolen or — heaven forbid — passed around, posted up, picked to go viral on Pintrest and used as an example of moral depravity on the Colbert Report!!!!

Then again, our male readers favored that kind of care package over a pack of Oreos.

Movie makers side with the guys when it comes to the power of the photo. Most recently, Zac Ephron finds a picture in the sand in Iraq in The Lucky One. The picture itself sends him walking from Colorado to North Carolina to find the girl. But that picture isn’t a naked shot. Her’s was the kind of picture you send to your brother. (Then again, it’s Nicholas Sparks so what did you expect, cleavage?)

Me, I’m not so sure what I think. On one hand, my beloved is going to have to rely on his memory. No new naked pictures after 40, OK? On the other hand, I know that my cute mom is in the middle of reading my dad all the letters they wrote back and forth when he was in training and in Vietnam. These two have been married for 51 years. Evidently, some of their letters are so hot that they being enjoyed and disposed of now before the grandkids get an eyeful.

Which makes me think that sexiness has its place in the long distance relationship. But how much is too much? And how do you ever know for sure?

About the Author

Jacey Eckhart
Jacey Eckhart is the former Director of Spouse and Family Programs for Military.com. Since 1996, Eckhart’s take on military families has been featured in her syndicated column, her book The Homefront Club, and her award winning CDs These Boots and I Married a Spartan?? Most recently she has been featured as a military family subject matter expert on NBC Dateline, CBS morning news, CNN, NPR and the New York Times. Eckhart is an Air Force brat, a Navy wife and an Army mom. Find her at JaceyEckhart.net.

39 Comments on "Should You Put Wife Porn in Your Care Package?"

  1. C. E. Welch | May 3, 2012 at 11:51 am |

    When my husband was away at Basic, I sent him some sexy pics. Nothing naked, nothing that could be confiscated. And he still keeps them. I sent similar ones years later when he went to OCS. He keeps those as well. He's already told me that he would love similar pics during his possible upcoming deployment. But if it's going through the mail service, it's something that I won't mind someone else seeing (i.e. sexy but clothed).

  2. According to my husband, "Yes, please…!" As a wife, I'm torn. I want to make hubby happy and keep him looking forward to returning home…but my comfort zone dictates what kind of pics he gets in his inbox. I think we've reached compromise between what I'm willing to provide, and what he'd LIKE. At this point, he's been gone so long that he's happy with whatever he gets…and though its not as racey as he'd like, some cleavage is better than no cleavage…

    As far as physically sending it in a care package, I'm leery of that. I have 3 sets of eyes constantly hovering around me, so I'm not going to print anything, or pull it up on a computer screen, that could accidently be seen our trio. Thus, my guy does love that Iphone of mine!

  3. With technology being what it is, I think there are ways to get naughty pictures to your hubby without using the postal service. Before my husband deployed, we took some pictures and put them on his laptop, where he has them locked away so no one else can access them. That way he gets his fix, and I have peace of mind that no one else is likely to see them! I also sent him with a couple of sexy-but-clothed photo albums and an album and digital picture frame with pictures of our family. There’s ways to make it work!

  4. Barry Hope | May 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm |

    Ok, I am an old fart here. During DS/DS( I refuse to call it Gulf War I) Stormin' Norman inplemented General Order 1. Basically no booze, no girly pics NO PORK! Of course this was way before the internet. It took 2 weeks to get a letter in or out of the KSA. And then then they were looked at. Did anything get through? Hell yes! One of our boys had his wife send a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog. de we have booze? Yep, I chewed out one of my SPC for having his wine blow up in our office trailer. The point is, we knew the rules and they were bent some. but never broken. In my opinion, the soldiers could use General Order 1 agin.

  5. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this ain't a good idea.

    If you want your spouse to get a letter of reprimand, an Article 15, or worse, by all means send them naked pictures. Otherwise, please note that US Central Command General Order 1B is still in effect.

    Under General Order 1B, possession of pornographic materials, possession/consumption of alcohol, and gambling, among other things, are punishable under Article 92, UCMJ. GO1 violations were my number one source of business when I was a defense counsel downrange.

    Keep it covered, you'll be fine. Otherwise, you're taking the risk of torpedoing a career.

    Your friendly neighborhood JAG.

  6. When I was on the ship & deployed any news or pictures was welcomed. My son was born 1 week after we left for the Gulf, and we didn't have reliable electronic comms w/CINCHOMEFLT then, heck even mail took forever to chase us from port to port, so I would never recommend any type of Porn. In Japan I had a roommate who had sexy wife & girlfriend photos & the nightie she wore to take them in displayed in his locker, but he left the locker door open most of the time so everyone knew what was there and got a good look.
    I agree with the wife who loaded them onto his personal laptop or iPhone that this is a better option, but beware of the angry spouse who gets the 'Dear John/Jane' letter. They tend to show off whatever they have, just to hurt their former love.
    I guess I am weird though, some of the most prized items in my care packages were new underwear. The ship's laundry shredded, stained, lost, etc almost everything, no matter how many times your name was displayed on the item. And the answer was always "We don't mis-route the laundry. We don't lose or destroy stuff."

  7. Never put anything in print you wouldn't publish openly, especially in todays youtube world.

    True passion is in the mind and romance comes from the imagination, not leaving nothing to it.

    If you want to give your significant other reason to come home… to you… offer a verbal painting carefully constructed to engage the mind. Let the minds eye create in secrecy what you likely never could in pictures.

    An expression created from words, pet sayings and things that will only have meaning to the two of you and done sparingly, in between short stories of your daily life and home will do more than a moments excitement over picture.

  8. Don't send anything you don't want posted on the internet or on the front page of the paper.

  9. Only send – by mail, email, or whatever – those things you would be fine with seeing on the front page of the paper, or splashed across the internet.

  10. I agree with the posts that say , do it at your own risk. If you send something sexy , make sure it is something that if intercepted you wouldn't mind posted on the internet. I have no problem with our soldiers at war getting " reminders " of what is waiting for them at home. Keep it within the area you wouldn't be devastated if it was put on You Tube.

  11. Jeff MacDonald | May 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm |

    Any one forced to see the things our soldiers see should be allowed to see some beauty.

  12. I'd say don't, unless you want the whole brigade seeing you that way. Things get mixed around and lost when soldiers are rooming together, moving from one place to another, and coming back home. I'm not sure I'd even do it by webcam either, as some suggested. My hubby had a soldier during his first deployment whose wife sent pics to him through email, but since they used the Army's server, it was in the Army's system. Some way or another, I'm not a tech guru so don't ask me what, the pics got accessed by other soldiers and it showed up on some tech things that got the poor soldier's computer flagged. Everyone that downloaded them got a good smack upside the head so to speak. My hubby had to tell the soldier that his wife's pics were being downloaded and viewed by other people in the unit. Needless to say he and his wife were greatly embarrassed.

  13. Geoff Lanf | May 6, 2012 at 12:08 am |

    hell yes, the more porn from my lover or wife makes me a happy man and wont stray to see something else. a nice hot sexy thong bent over the bed yesssssssssssssssssssssss

  14. If the couple divorce later on, the husband might send the porn photos all over the Internet — out of spite.

    Another question — If the wife is the soldier deployed overseas, should the husband (at home) send porn to the wife?

  15. I would say No to the porn offering. Dont people have any dignity anymore. Thats all the news media needs, especially our enemies, to paint the picture of american men and women sending nude or porn shots of each other to the combat zone, and dont forget the gays now, they will want their dirt y business as well.

  16. Some host nations open and inspect mail. Your spouse may not be the only one opening the mail. I had a lovely note in a package just last month that the host nation Customs inspectors had selected my care package to be opened.

  17. Being the amazing boyfriend I am(lol), I took my girlfriend to see the Lucky One and suffered through the movie. Apparently i shouldnt have been laughing at some of the scenes that occured, but I digress
    I just want to point out that Effron walked from Colorado to Louisiana in the movie, not from Colorado to North Carolina.

  18. If my husband even hinted he had wanted me to send those kinds of pictures, I would have been insulted. My body, as well as his, and our intimate life are ours and ours only. NOT for camera's and NOT for the internet. Personally I feel that cheapens the relationship, but that's just my opinion. Our relationship is based on much more then my body. Countless times my husband said wives photos were passed around (yes, by the husbands), or accidentally left on the computer screen. In on case it was of a a CPT's wife. The CPT was not only reprimanded,but humiliated by it. My husband is the one who last saw it and finally took it down and spoke to the guy. So, unless you don't mind your assets being seen by all, I would refrain from sending such material.

  19. JustAnotherWife | May 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm |

    Your spouse is not going to be the only one opening mail. All packages have to be opened in front of an NCO or CO. Unfortunately this is to look for contraband items like drugs and alcohol that fools still try to ship in. There's Skype for a reason, people…. and if you don't have the ability to Skype, well, there's memories and imagination.

  20. My husband likes sexy pictures, although I usually put in on a cd in movie form and password protect it. I don't think it will stop it if the mail gets redirected, but it makes me feel better. I think if you are smart about it, and you know that it is a reliable mailing address. Okay.

  21. Well my husbands last deployment I sent him a few racy photos non clothed, partially clothed, and we shall just say others. But I did not print them. Since he has a laptop I sent them on a SD card that he has a n adapter for and downloaded onto his computer than he deletes the photos and sends me back pictures if he can or in some cases it was letters he wrote on his laptop. He is deployed again now and he forgot the pictures on his old laptop and has asked me to send them to him. Not sure at this point if he is gonna get them via SD card or if I will just email them to his personal account. Yes we did that too for a couple of the pictures. So if you are gonna send racy photos I suggest send them on an SD card one way no one sees them except your spouse and also make sure they delete the photos after getting them. Cause we had a friend who said some guys got ahold of another soldiers SD card an the soldiers girl did the rounds.

  22. LoveMySailor20 | May 8, 2012 at 6:20 pm |

    Well, this is not as cut and dry when you're dealing with a) porn being illegal in some foreign countries, b) it being put on the internet if lost, & c) being a Christian. I've sent pictures that were tactful, but alluring. Not something I'd feel shame over if confiscated, or if lost. Plainly put, it's more than skin showing that is an erotic picture between husband and wife. My husband enjoys my nakedness, but is turned on by the "hint" of it for later viewing. Women have in some cases lost the art of keeping their men guessing & clothes on.

  23. Nolongerasubscriber | May 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm |

    I can see who has class in these comments. This is exactly why I didn't want that silly spouse magazine and now I will no longer accept emails from military.com. Trash.

  24. LoveMySailor20 | May 8, 2012 at 6:27 pm |

    Great post!

  25. shawn hopkins | May 8, 2012 at 8:08 pm |

    What my wife and I did was send a SD card back in forth of **** pics. Even tho I sent way more lol. You need a stress relief when your deployed. So you do whatever works for you and your wife. She is stressed too. Also my wife is in the navy now and I am out of the Marine corps. There is such a lack of storys and information for male spouses.

  26. When my mans gone I’m going to make him happy bottom line. If a sexy pic is what he needs to make him happy for even a couple mins I’m in. He’s sacrificing so much and is deserving of a little comfort in whatever form it comes in. I’m comfortable with it if your not than don’t do it simple as that.

  27. I.don’t mind sending it . Only on our sd cards though . And it goes into his.safe app on his computer that requires a thumb print recognition scanner to open … No big deal . I completely trust my Hubby and he does the same for me . Like I say its not a big deal . But I would never ever ever send printed pictures in.care packages …….

  28. I.don’t mind sending it . Only on our sd cards though . And it goes into his.safe app on his computer that requires a thumb print recognition scanner to open … No big deal . I completely trust my Hubby and he does the same for me . Like I say its not a big deal

  29. Llennart w persson | May 9, 2012 at 2:15 am |

    Well , am against this plefiration off humans , but ido think thats male individual should be reminded off there sexuality , because its could have a possitive in war situation , in this world off nothing but gay distraction , and markets publicity off sexual immoralaty I dont think it should horrofied in a wrongfull perspective , after all we got here thru this conception thank you , within moderation many things work .

  30. Sin………..

    Always takes you further than you want to go.

    It keeps you longer than you want to stay.

    It costs you more than you want to pay.

  31. Well, I am not going to say if I have sent racy photos or not, BUT, what I will say is those men have easy access to porn over there whether on hard drives or however. I think that wanting your husbad to look at you naked rather then some random girl is acceptable. IF it is not handed around, but what kind of husband would do that anyways.

  32. DL Thomas | May 9, 2012 at 6:56 pm |

    General Order # 1 – We had the same requirements in Afghanistan that we did in Desert Storm. Pornography – electronic, on pictures, in computers, and/or on a CD, subjects your significant other to judicial action. The host countries don't find this cute, funny, or just one of those thing spouses do. They get horribly offended and can cause problems for "ALL OF US" not just one person. My soldiers thought they were being clever by hiding booze in cans of grease, but they thought that until I gave them and their first NCO in their Chain of Command all got Article 15's, plus a bar to re-enlistment, no medals for service in a combat zone and loss of their security clearances. It's not "funny" or "a joke" so don't put me in the position I have to discipline your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend because they are not going to like it. I told them up front what the rules were and if they break them, then they knew they would be punished and they were. No surprises there. If the Commanding General, Brigade, Battalion, or Battery Commander gave an order it was not allowed, then my Soldiers knew if they did it and get caught they would be punished. It only happened "once" and everyone in Iraq got the point. Afghanistan? Well the Civil Affairs Section decided to accept some wine from allied Soldiers leaving and they all got severely disciplined and careers were ruined by lapses in judgment. I would hope that if they are given an order like General Order # 1, they wouldn't violate it and the UCMJ and other punishments are there for those that don't want to obey the lawful orders they are given. Hey, if you feel lucky…. Just remember, all the mail comes to the Commander or the 1SG of a unit and distributed from there for several different reasons, but I had the authority to open and read all or inspect packages or other items for whatever I thought might be smuggled in like rubbing alcohol that some had sent to them. If you want to roll the dice with your career – hey, just save us the trouble and get out now and avoid all the problems you will get later when you violate the orders you are given. – Thanks! A 30-year active and reserve Officer.

  33. Sailors wife | May 11, 2012 at 11:23 am |

    I dont feel like photos of a spouse should be considered porn. Sexy photos boost moral. Lets face it. If its not photos of the spouse it will be photos from a magazine or elsewhere. Our soldiers are deployed, not dead. I do however feel that you can take tasteful photos without taking spread eagle shots…I have no problem sending my sailor photos in lingerie, but i have never sent one fully nude..

  34. It's fine to make new wife porn for your deployed husband after 40. I'm offended by that snarky comment, author. Your husband is going to love it because it's you.

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    I had sleepless nights and was was very worried because I promised myself I won’t approach a spell caster for help but did as it was time for me to help myself, stop crying and stop feeling sorry for myself. I also knew there was someone out there who is capable of helping me. I ordered a spell from vudoospell@gmail.com and it took only 1 week for the results to show and it is getting better and better.I have never been so happy. Never ever did I think that I could find a spell caster to help me fix any problems.
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  36. Sent to them while deployed? My last deployment in 09 there was a young female SSG that let her boyfriend make it with her over there! That was while her husband was at another FOB!! This video bounced around on thumb drive to thousands of people on that FOB all because the boyfriend wanted to show his buddies what he had got with!!

  37. Just be careful because computer networks are constantly scanned, packages opened, lost, stolen. And yes the pics and videos do get passed around. It was pretty common. I was in Iraq for eight years as a contractor, i saw it happen on a regular basis.

    Now if someone doesn't mind their genitalia floating around cyberspace or laying around on someone's desk for anyone to see, then go for it.

  38. TOMTKNUCKLEHEAD | January 31, 2013 at 2:00 am |

    WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? IT IS THE HUMAN BODY I MEAN COME ON.WE ARE NOT TWELVE YEAR OLDS HERE PEOPLE,GET YUR HEAD OUT YUR ANUS.IT IS A FORM OF CONNECTING WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE,RIGHT.THAT YOU MAY NEVER SEE AGAIN!

  39. If you think a pw protects a file on a computer then I have a bridge for sale.

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