My husband has never been out to sea on Father’s Day. Somehow the guy misses Mother’s Day every other year, I swear. When this happens, I figure I’ve got two choices: 1) beat my head on a rock. Or, 2) I can set up my own Mother’s Day and rock it all I want.
Here are a few suggestions I’ve tried. What do you plan to do with your Mother’s Day Alone?
Don’t ignore the day. It’s tempting to think that you can be all grown up about this and be happy with a card. Nope. Whether you regularly attend church or IHOP on Sunday mornings, you will be surrounded by flocks of mothers and their loving families. If you ignore the day, the temptation to compare what you got with what they got will be overwhelming. Best make a plan.
Tell your husband what you want. I know you want him to KNOW what you want without being told. Good luck with that … If your husband is overseas, he is dreading the words “Mother’s Day.” This is mostly because he does not know what to do about it. It ain’t like they’ve got a CVS on every corner over there. Give the guy a break and just tell him this year.
Babies suck at Mother’s Day. It’s pretty ironic, but the most intense Mother’s Days you get are the early ones. Sadly, the person sucking you dry does not know how to hold a crayon well enough to make a card. If you are celebrating alone with a baby or toddler this is a good year to make an exception and buy your own gift. As in, “Babygirl! How did you know mommy wanted this bird-shaped door knocker on sale at Anthropologie! What a smartie you are!!!!”
Enlist an ally. Most moms in our poll thought that kids should be responsible for planning something for Mother’s Day. And that’s a good thing. Your older kids really do love you and they want to make good on Mother’s Day. The problem is that kids do not have Outlook. They do not have their cell phones set with beeping alarms reminding them that Mother’s Day is coming up and they better get their act together. Ask your mom/neighbor/friend to ask the kids if they have a plan yet. As in, “How about you take mommy to Friendly’s for a Reeses Pieces Sundae. She will love that!”
Plant something. My grandmother used to say that you should wait until Mother’s Day to plant seeds in the ground. Mid-May is the earliest time in many places in which the earth is warm enough to start seeds and tender plants. Last year for Mother’s Day, my high schooler built me two raised garden beds and a little fence. Spending the day planting up those beds with seeds and hope makes a great project to share with kids — and burns up that long Mother’s Day afternoon.
Celebrate your motherhood. I always wanted to have babies of my own and I feel lucky that these three particular babies belong to me. Mother’s Day Alone is a great time to dig out the scrapbooks and look back on the days you became a mom. If you have more than one child, you became a different mom every time a kid was born. The list of things you have learned and you are learning about being a mom and all that entails is huge. You are making real progress. And that is something to celebrate.
About Jacey Eckhart
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I had to laugh at this: "I know you want him to KNOW what you want without being told." My ex-wife would tell me, "If you loved me, you'd know what I want without being told." Eventually, I wanted a divorce and told her, just so she'd understand.
Not all women, however, are this brand of haywire. The current mrs. actually communicates. I recommend it.
I don't expect any gifts from my husband for mother day, he is my husband not my son. All I want from my husband is to appreciate and respect me as wife and a mom of my children. A phone call to say happy mother is enough to define how much he cares for me.
As an Army wife with two boys, I celebrated my Mother's Day last year with my two little boys while my husband deployed to Afghanistan. The best part was that my husband was able to order flowers and chocolates online with a message card from the boys and him as a surprise to delivered to the house. So that made my Mother's Day very special even though he was not able to be physically around to celebrate, but it felt like he was around. It's not the "end of the world." To me, Mother's Day is a special day to spend precious moments with my kids alone to celebrate that if it was not for them, I would not have been a mom. As to having my husband around is secondary because I am not his mom, I would love it for him to be around to celebrate the moments, but he also need to be thankful for his own mom instead. So, in the end Mother's Day is a day for us women to feel proud about ourselves that we reached the next level in women-hood. To all MOMs, be proud of yourself!!!
I think it's difficult to not have a family member with you for mother's day. Especially, if it's your husband and kids. But looking at it in a fun way, its a time that we can have time to ourselves. As a mom I will not be with my family and I have decided to treat myself to something I have not had time to do or just want to do and have not done it. So I will be making a special day for myself in memory of the people that are not with me. Try that it may cheer you up.
I don't expect anything from my husband when he is deployed during holidays. I found that it's easier on everyone to just buy something that I have wanted, but normally wouldn't buy. For example, for the upcoming Mother's Day, I already bought myself a large cat perch/scratching post thing. It was more than I would spend, but I figured what the heck. I also inform my husband what he had gotten me for that holiday ;) and I say Thank you ;) Now for my birthday and anniversary which he will also be missing, I haven't decided what I want to splurge on. Normally I only buy what I need so I find it very enjoyable to splurge on something fun or pretty.
I thought this post was going to be about a deployed mother. She would be alone.