Women are talking about it at work. Friends are discussing it on Facebook. Saturday Night Live actors are parodying it. Moms are reading it at t-ball practice. It’s Fifty Shades of Grey, and it’s the book every woman seems to have on her nightstand.
Call me a prude, but I’ve never read any book classified under the erotica genre before, nor have I ever had any desire to. But then I thought about some of my friends who were raving about the Fifty Shades trilogy, women I never pegged for the erotica-reading types, and I figured it couldn’t be that graphic. I’ll give the first book a try and see what all the fuss is about.
Well, if you’re one of the millions of women reading these books, you know that they are that graphic. But despite my lack of prior experience and interest in erotica, I found myself kind of enjoying the book. Oh, who am I kidding? I couldn’t put the book down. And I’m far from the only MilSpouse who has jumped on the Fifty Shades bandwagon.
So what’s the appeal of Fifty Shades? Why are women obsessively reading (and rereading) these so-called sex books?
“I love it because it is very passionate,” Tiffany, one of my mil spouse friends told me. “I would recommend it to MilSpouse. We lead a stressful life, and this is total escapism. It is pure fantasy, and I think we need that in our lives.”
Another MilSpouse gal pal Kris, who has read the entire trilogy twice, agreed. “Once I got past all the um, details, and saw the love story, I was hooked,” Kris said. “In my opinion, I think the appeal to the books is the idea of having a man love you as deeply and openly as Grey.”
Most of the friends with whom I’ve discussed Fifty Shades agree that this isn’t the typical kind of book they would choose to read, but got sucked in because of all the hype. Most also agree that reading the books is a great way to spice up a marriage.
“It made me want, okay, more like lust my husband,” MilSpouse Amber said. “It opened my eyes up about different ways to spruce up our love life. I think with any married couple, we have all sunk into the ‘plain vanilla’ role from time to time. Fifty Shades of Grey made me want more.”
The only downside my friends expressed about the books is deciding on the most ideal time to read them. “My husband was not home while I was reading it, and that was probably not a smart move,” Angela said. “I actually had to put the book down for a few days to cool off. Not a good thing to read while the husband was away training.”
Kris’ husband was home when she read the books, which she said was a good thing. “If a spouse’s husband is deployed, I would hold off reading it until right before he came home,” she advised. “The poor guy, he wouldn’t know what hit him when he got home though!”
Tiffany also recommended holding off until husbands are home. “I say if your husband is on his way home, it is a great time to read it. And I think that couples should share the book. It could bring your relationship to a whole other level.”
Not surprisingly, there is a lot of controversy surrounding Fifty Shades because of its racy content. Some call it soft core pornography, and libraries are pulling copies off their shelves. I do understand how women might find the books over the top, so for those who find the subject matter offensive, I promise not to loan you my copy. But for other curious MilSpouses, I echo the sentiments of my friends and recommend you check it out.
(However, I might also recommend buying the Kindle version for the added bonus of discretion, unless you don’t mind people knowing you’re reading the sex book.)
I recently finished the first book, and while I would never be so bold as to be seen reading Fifty Shades at t-ball practice, I will admit that I’m itching to read the next two books. And thanks to my recent discussions with my girls, I’m thinking about starting up a Fifty Shades book club. Even if all we discuss is which actor should play the lead role in the movie, at least it will give us a good excuse to say “Laters, baby.”
Have you read the Fifty Shades trilogy? What do you think: must-read or glorified porn?
About Heather Sweeney
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Glorified porn that was inspired by The Dominate, a twilight fan fiction. Google The Dominate and enjoy a well written story instead.
I loved The Dominant. Much more realistic, and not written at a third grade reading level like FSoG.
I have read the first book so far and although it isn't a favorite it wasn't too bad and I think the love story is growing on me. I don't consider it porn although I understand it isn't for everyone. I wouldn't want to read it when my husband was gone though, it kind puts you in the right mood which would be frustrating if he was gone ;)
I read the trilogy in 5 days. Obviously I couldn’t but the books, or rather my kindle, down.
The first book shocked me with the sexual details. I knew it was saucy but the nature of it totally took me by surprised. However, right away you know there is more depth to thisan who claims to have singular tastes. I wanted to see his story and his relationship with Ana unfold, grow, and evolve together.
ll this fifty shades talk reminds me of my mom. My mom doesn’t read much. She has dyslexia, and it’s always been a struggle for her. She managed through school and college and has had a very successful career as a nurse, but she’s always been so self-conscious about how little she reads.
Then a few years ago she discovered Dan Brown. Suddenly she was reading something and could talk about her books to her friends and family. She was so excited and proud of herself. Then she overheard some jerks in a coffee shop talking about how poorly y written it was. Drivel meant to entertain the thoughtless masses. Dan Brown was literature for people too dumb to read real books. She was crushed.
Now I’m hearing the same confessions about fifty shades. But here’s the thing, that snobby attitude isn’t new. Shakespeare was considered to be doggerel designed to stupefy the masses. Milton was a sell out because he wrote in English instead of Latin. Every time books become accessible to the general public and are actually widely read, we as a society feel this need to belittle it and shut it down. What’s wrong with us? Why can’t we just say, “Yeah, that’s just not what I’m into” instead of saying, “oh, anyone who thinks this book is good must be half illiterate.”
Am I saying fifty shades is in the same caliber as Shakespeare or Milton? It’s unlikely, but who the hell cares what someone else is reading? No one is forcing you to sit down and read it. If it’s something you enjoy, have fun, enjoy. If it’s not, find something you do like. Preferring Moby Dick to Christian Grey doesn’t make you a better person anymore than liking vanilla ice cream makes you superior to those who prefer chocolate. And if you’re bragging about it, it certainly doesn’t make you smarter.
Wow! It looks like the comments about "Grey" are all over the map. Whether you like it or not, the novel has generated more discussion than anything Oprah ever recommended and for good reason. The only really bad novel is one that nobody reads or finishes; sure can't say that about this one!
I've read the first and will probably read the others but I'm taking some time away with (believe it or not) Harry Potter. Talk about the Yin and Yang…
I absolutely loved all the books!! I was not embarrassed with the detail, I read the book with my hubby and if he wasn't home, I would use some of my toys until he got back. I am a Pure Romance consultant and am not as shy to talk about hot to improve intimate relationships with my hostesses and their guests. I recommend these books to anyone to read, even if it is a pdf version, send a copy to your husband who is away and read it at the same time (via skype, etc.). Talk about the scenes that you want to reenact with your husband and see where it goes from there. Most men want their wife to read books like these, to get creative and spice up their sexual relationship in marriage, even if it is "vanilla", it's still an intimate act that can help out to prevent affairs. If you want to know more about what I do, then send me an email at: amanda_burns09@yahoo.com or check out my personal website at: http://amandaburns70942.pureromance.com, go to the "Shop Now" tab, then on "The Grey Revolution" for the featured products!!
*how
I have to say that I'm the kind of person that if everyone is reading it, I won't, just on principle. I am choosing NOT to read these books because of their explicit content. And because "Everyone" is reading them.
Pattie I'm with you — I kinda like to go against the curve, plus this just isn't my kind of thing. Let's buck the trend and go read A Tale of Two Cities Again. Oh wait if I'm doing that I know you don't want to … so pick your own book
Sorry obviously the title is not "A Tale of Two Cities Again" … you know what I meant :-)
Funny, I just finished reading of A Tale of Two Cities and I think that it is one of the most wonderful books. I even loved that very old English (English is not my first language). I agree with Pattie, I do not plan to read these books, just because everyone does it, I will not join the crowd. I think that I have already heard and read too much about these books, it does not appeal to me. Of course, it is all a matter of taste, and as my late husband used to say, thank God that we all are different and that we like different things. I wish to everyone to enjoy it, though. I will rather use the time for some real literature or a good fictionn book. And no, I am not that old.
Going against the curve, to go against the curve, would be going with the curve that's against the initial one. So you're still going with the curve, whether you realize it or not.
I'm with you! The Library of Congress released a list of "88 Books that shaped America". I think I'll work my way down that list instead.
I read the free sample on my nook and barely finished that. As somebody mentioned above, these were not the best written. Yes I know I have not finished even the first book but if the first 3 chapters were anything like the rest of the book it would drive me crazy!
And besides that, if they are as pornographic as some have said then I have little to no interest in reading them. I do not need to read **** as my husband does not watch it.
I love to read. I knew what the book was about when I read it and I didn't read it to spice up my sex life, I'm pleased with that aspect of my life. I read the books because I was curious and I fell in love with the love story, I wanted to know what happened with Christian and Ana. I found myself actually skipping over the kinky details, because frankly that part wasn't doing it for me and there was just so much! But it is a good read, just like Twilight or even the other big sensation, Harry Potter. No one is claiming it is a literary work of art, it's a fun book. Not everyone will like it or love it. People get different things out of it, for me it was the love story, for others, a great way to strengthen or spice up their marriage. Can't it just be left at that?
I'm a fanfiction reader and read it a couple years ago when it was just a popular Twilight-based fanfiction story on the internet. It's really, really not that good and most women who rant and rave about it just haven't read anything better, hence the whole "mom porn" label it's received. It's poorly written for the most part and is basically just smut pretending to be some epic love story. I think it's funny how much hype it's received, there are SO many better written stories out there with just as much sex and angst.
I pre-ordered it before the release date from Amazon (and before it was popular). One day, I went to work and gave my wife a homework assignment to read a section. I received a pleasant surprise when I returned. Then, she couldn't put all 3 down – and I received many other "gifts". This book doesn't fix marriages. It opens dialogue between you and your spouse. It also spices things up a bit. Nothing more, nothing less. Graphic? I don't think so. Highly descriptive? Absolutely.
I've read all three…and I don't like them. I really don't like how Christian treats Ana and I'd never respect a man that acts the way he does. (And I am not talking about the sex). A lot of my friends really love the books and as of now, I am the only one that doesn't like them. To each her own.
I am half way through the second, and I am addicted. Like someone mentioned above its a total escape, its so far from anything I would ever imagine myself being involved in, and I love that about it. It takes me away, its like Calgon in book form! :)
I am traditionally a mystery & intrigue reader. The content is far from my normal experiences. Yet I found myself hooked! This series wasn't about technical brilliance to me. I actually looked at it from a Psychological standpoint. Christian has a severe case of PTSD and was taught to use BDSM as his coping mechanism. By Ana being true to herself, yet loving Christian deep enough… she was able to free him from the hold of PTSD. Is this not the dream of so many MilSpouses…. is this troubled Psyche not our real life that we are trying to make better. In real life people turn to many things to cope… but a book about an alcholoholic or a drug user wouldn't have sold as many copies, nor would it have allowed for the look into the exoctic world of BDSM for millions of americans. Real PTSD suffers don't take on a coping tool half-assed. They go full bore. That is what made this book just enough real for me that I could devour the content and expand beyond the superficial "effect" of it. By the way I am not in the psychological field myself, I am a very vanilla accountant.
This subject makes me want to take a trip to Barnes & Nobles and get a glimpse at this book… Heard of it but had no idea what really was it about til now and I’m really interested… I’m a book worm and love reading to pass my time but by the blog about this book I will listen and not buy the book til the husband gets home because he is deployed for the moment so I will wait, but I can’t wait to get my hands on that book!!!
I LOVE the Fifty Shades books! My hunband has been deployed for nearly three months and i have done a lot of reading while he has been gone. My best friend told me to read the first one and I was a little eehh at first but i was hooked by the middle of the first book. I finished all three by the end of a week. I think they have the soft core porn side but i LOVE the love story that is hidden under it all. I have told all my friends to read them!
Glorified porn. The author is laughing all the way to the bank. BTW: I lady that had waited on me at a department store admitted she was reading it "out of curiosity" — she got caught in front of a customer and got fired. Food for thought porn addicts. :)
I agree….to a degree. There are other much better written books out there but it is not the "worst written" either. It is certainly a very easily read and understood "intro" if you will to BDSM and the first book could have been better…..which the second and third books are much better. The 2nd and 3rd books actually bring out the characters, their stories, it takes all 3 books to actually bring the whole thing together. Reading the first without the other two in the series will certainly turn you off this author and leave you cold but as you finish the series, the writing and story line greatly improves. If you want pure erotica and BDSM, however, yes, I agree, there are, ummmm….other books out there for those particular tastes such as A.N. Roquelaire (sp?).