Last week I left my husband home alone to handle the kids, packed my stuffed polar bear in my suitcase and went to New York City for the weekend.
Hi, my name is Amy and, yes, I sleep with a stuffed polar bear.
My roommates for the weekend, both military spouses, thought this was hilarious. They made fun of the bear (no, he doesn’t have a name – thanks for asking) relentlessly. But I didn’t care. That polar bear helps me sleep when I’m away from my husband – or when he’s away from me.
Military spouses spend a lot of their life sleeping without their husbands. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people complain that they have trouble sleeping during deployment.
“I just don’t sleep well while he’s gone,” they say.
But since not sleeping for nine months straight isn’t a viable option, they come up with solutions.
Some fall asleep with the TV on just so they feel like there’s someone else in the room.
Some people sleep with their kids, even though it guarantees being kicked constantly all night long.
Both my NYC roommates sleep with a giant body pillow when at home.
Jacey, our editor here at SpouseBuzz, sleeps with a cashmere sweater.
These people would have sleep with your spouses heartbeat embedded in a creepy heartbeat pillow.
And I sleep with my polar bear.
I don’t feel like my polar bear deserves all the fun that was made of him last weekend. He’s a nice little guy, for crying out loud.
So I’m curious – do you have trouble sleeping while your spouse is gone? And what do you do about it?
About Amy Bushatz
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I don't have too much trouble sleeping when Sampson is away, but his absence does serve as notice for Squirrel to take up his role as chief bedtime snuggler. Squirrel is a well-worn Beanie Baby whose official moniker, I believe, was the giggle/groan-worthy "Nuts," and he was the very first birthday gift Sampson ever gave me — I had just turned seventeen and we had only been dating about a month. It rather boggles my mind that Squirrel has been with me for over a decade now.
Mutsy the dog and Bentley bunny (both had since childhood) sleep with me when Ryan is gone. And I usually have my mini DVD player with a favorite movie so I can fall asleep. I’m pretty bad about it!
Ah, I'm a few weeks in to 1st yr. long deployment, not sleeping & so tired. Usually on shorting separations I don't sleep great the first couple of nights, but I'm at NINE weeks of not sleeping well now. I just started the body pillow approach with a stack of pillows a couple of nights ago. Seems to help me fall asleep which has been tough. I think I may need to go buy a real body pillow.
As so often happens when reading posts, books & magazine articles from other mil spouses, I am so glad to hear once again that I am not the only one. You people have saved me time and time again. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
sorry that should say "shorter separations"
I LOVE your little polar bear idea! I need suggestions; my husband is 6 weeks into a 7 month deployment. In terms of all the stresses, hardships, and expected emotional roller coaster, I have been very strong and have a plethora of support. My only struggle (thus far) is SLEEP! I work 12 hour night shifts, so sleeping during the day is already hard enough, without the added longing of my husband. Did I also mention the nightmares? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone 30, 31, even 33 hours without sleeping a wink!
Sincerely,
One Sleepy Wifey
Totally with you on the nightmares. The first month I was falling asleep and waking up repeatedly to terror dreams that life was crashing down around me and I had to save everything and everyone. They are exhausting & it's impossible to go back to sleep afterwards. Doesn't help that we had 3 significant earthquakes rumble through in the middle of the night the first few weeks after he left. Three+ months in I am having mixed results: sometimes good sleep, sometimes barely any sleep & sometimes nightmares. I'm so grateful that at some point the body's auto mechanisms take over and knock you out, but you can't plan when that will hit unfortunately.
I sleep with a stuffed gorilla that my husband gave me one year for Valentine’s Day when he’s gone. I only use him at home, not travelling, but he gets the job done when I miss having my husband to throw my arm around at night.
Not sure why it posted about 5 times. Could someone delete all my duplicates? Thanks!!
I fill up his side of the bed with all of the extra pillows. Makes me feel like I he is behind me.
Sorry I made fun of your bear, I miss him! lol :-)
Just last year while Blake was deployed, I was having a rough time with missing him, having bad dreams, and just laying in bed for a log time staring at the ceiling. I mentioned this to him one night when we were talking and a labour a week later I received a package from him. His PT sweater and his bottle of cologne. I got in the habit of wrapping his sweater around a pillow and hugging the pillow when I sleep. No more sleeping issues! His cologne was returned to him as soon as he got home. I like it a lot better on the real thing rather than my makeshift honey. ;-)
I sleep with one of my husband's old t-shirts. I like it because it smells like him and it really helps me feel close to him.
I sleep with georgie…my build a bear my husband gave me when he left for basic. I also keep my other build a bear next to my bed that my husband recorded " I love you beautiful. Good night" into. I can't sleep until I hear those words. And the first week of deployment I just sat there making my build a bear tell me good night about a hundred times a day.
I made my husband buy me a build-a-bear. He is a German Shepard named Hank; we really can't wait to get a puppy when he gets home. I also made him go in to the store and record a mystery message to put in the paw for when he left. He recorded it in the bathroom (suggested by the clerk because it was quieter and the acoustics were better). When we got home, he played it for me and I just started bawling. A few days later, husband left and I occasionally accidentally roll over Hank's paw in the middle of the night and hear his "I love you and miss you. I'll be home soon" and I feel a million times better.
http://ilahartford.tumblr.com/day/2012/07/28/
Actually dreamed once that Hank was alive. Husband nearly fell of his chair laughing when he heard this :)
I too sleep with a stuffed animal – a whale. My husband bought it for himself at an aquarium whilst stationed in Japan, but I quicky stole it. He works nights mostly and I cannot sleep without 'my' whale.
Lol I have a little lamb that my Airman gave me 6 months into our relationship. Plus two giant teddy bears… I am surrounded by them when he is away. NO SHAME. tho… I still have trouble sleeping without him.