To My Soldier: Why didn’t you tell me I’d become addicted? Why didn’t you tell me that this life–this physically and emotionally exhausting military life–is like a drug I can’t stop taking.
It’s not because I enjoy the pain. I’m addicted because I know it’s right. What you do is honorable and humble and selfless. Despite the struggles I must face as your wife, I have pride. I have pride for you and the weight you must bear when you are away from us. I have pride for our country and how hard it has worked to maintain freedom for its citizens. I have pride for the multitude of men and women who have died heroically so that I can feel safe at home.
No, I can’t walk away. I can’t say no to you or to the military. I can’t turn away from the sacrifices we must make no matter how badly I want to. I am addicted to this life you have led me into.
Your plan used to be different. You used to say you would only be in for one tour. You used to say that once your contract was up, you would get out. Early on, I planned on this. I thought if I just stuck it out through a few hard years, it would be smooth sailing afterwards. I would be able to go back to the life I knew, a life I was familiar with, and we would move on as regular people with regular jobs.
Plans change. You chose to stay in. I chose to support you. There was part of me that didn’t want to give my support, but instead wanted to tell you it’s either me or the military. But that is the irrational part of me. The sensible part of me knew it was the right thing to do. I had quit things in the past, but I couldn’t quit this. I knew there was a reason for me to stay even if it was still very unclear.
I struggle in this life more than I ever thought I would. If anyone had asked me when I was a little girl, I would have given them a clearly defined picture of my happily ever after. It wound not have included any of the struggles I have faced thus far.
But this life is not just about me. It is about you and our children and our country and our freedom. It is about doing what is right, even if that means experiencing pain along the way. It is about patience and perseverance and doing things which are honorable. It is about making commitments and sticking to them. It is about doing what we can to keep a country great.
Without you, I would have never known this. I would have never discovered that the only way to truly get stronger is by facing the things we don’t want to, I would have never had the opportunity to expand my boundaries beyond what is comfortable, and I would have never known what it was like to be truly addicted.
Lisa is the wife of a USMC Cobra pilot and stay-home mother of two. She has been through three deployments and four moves throughout her eight years as a military spouse. Lisa loves to write and she uses what she has learned through her experiences to inspire and encourage other military wives in her blog, A Chance to Bloom. In her free time, Lisa enjoy reading, cooking, shopping, and spending time with family and friends.
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Thank God there are wives like you out there! It gives me hope for the world and the establishment of marriage.
I myself got out of the army for a woman and now seven years later am facing a divorce. I should have known when she wanted me to change the thing that was most fundamental to my life that I would never be happy with her and that she wanted a different man than me.
I hope to re-enlist and even if that doesn't work out I will still not be a stay at home 9-5 husband. I will always be thinking of service and where I can make the most difference in the world. It is encouraging to know there might be a woman out there who can put up with that…
This "drug" I am addicted to early on. My hubs talks about life outside of the military. I cringe. For many reasons. I like the security of it all, being able to be that stay at home mommy, and the appreciation of our time together just to name a few. For now I cross my fingers and hope that as we get through this first phase he wants to stay in just as much as I want him too.
I told my husband that if he could stay in the military until he was 65, I'd be all for it. This has been my life for 23 years. This is what I know. This is what I am comfortable with. I am worried about life after he retires. I'm hoping the adjustment isn't as difficult as what I've heard from others who have retired.
If ya'll would get off your butts they could get out if they wanted too….dang really? "Its all I know" Boo Hoo…learn something else!
I agree! I can't help but to see a whole bunch of selfish attitudes coming from the women making these comments! No wonder why military wives have a bad reputation as being gold diggers/tagchasers and people who marry military men for the financial security.
How about get a college degree yourself so that when he does get out, you'll be able to help out financially instead of just waiting to spend his money on the 1st and 15th of each month!
I am joining the Army soon and as a single 27 year old man, one of my fears is that it will be hard to find a women whom would be willing to marry me considering that I am in the military. I fear that the professional/career oriented women wouldn't want me because I'm always on the move whereas the only women available to me are the "I just wanna be a housewife" type female.
There is more to military life that just a steady paycheck. I like moving to different places, I like experiencing new things, I like meeting new people, and I like learning new things. For some, military life is a hardship, for me I see it as an opportunity that enriches my life. My husband is a big boy and makes his own decisions. If he really wanted to get out he would and since we are a partnership I have let him know that I am good with whatever he decides. I have a college degree, but since we have 2 kids and his participation in the operations of the holdhold is hit or miss due to his obligations, my husband prefers that I focus on our family. He feels we need at least one of us who is always there for the kids and I agree. Also, considering that I do not overspend we get along fine with only his income. My kids are very well taken care of. Who are you to judge me or any other military spouse without knowing the factors that have determined our current situations.
Total BS!
My am a military brat myself and I also had a younger brother and yet my mom worked full time! Many military wives can be so selfish and always using their kids as an excuse for them not to get off of their flat butt and work! Again, my dad is retired Army 22 years in the 82nd [Signal Corps] and yet my mom still worked full time. She is now working at the VA in San Diego and before that she worked at Womack at Ft. Bragg, before that she worked at Eisenhower Medical Center in Ft. Gordon and so on and so fourth. Yes, when I was born she got out of work for a few years to take care of me but at around the age of 4 or so, she put me in a daycare on post so that she can work.
And why exactly are you "afraid" of civilian life?
Admit it, you say you wouldn't mind for your husband being in the military til 65 not because it could be best for him, but best for yourself. You need the military to travel teh world? You need the military to experience new things? You need the military to meet know people? You need the military to learn new things? Is your life and personal ambition THAT dull? Seriously! It IS military women like yourself that gives military wives a bad image such as being lazy, not wanting to work, and on some extreme cases…..gold diggers.
d
Please stop using your kids as an excuse to not work! I saw somewhere else on here where you said that both of your kids are older now. Which means they aren't babies and that you should be able to work during the day as you do not need to stay home and take care of little kids.
Stop being lazy and work and STOP leaching off of your husband!
Considering you are NOT married, DigitalJazz, you are a big talker.
Let's see what you have to say, five or ten years into YOUR own marriage; after a few kids, and a few deployments.
We are happy for you that your mom was SuperMom, but if you lived the perfect "Leave it Beaver" life and were so blissfully happy why do you sound SO ANGRY???
#1 Who knows where we might be 5-10 years from now. I know that in the next 4 years I might deploy but even then, I'll be single and when I come back from deployment, I'll have a fat checking account because I do not have anyone else back at home spending my money. As for after that? Who knows, the Afghanistan War is coming to an end in 2014 and assuming President Obama gets reelected [Looking that way now] and assuming we aren't attacked again, the years after 2014 will be expected to be in Peace Time unlike now so there probably won't be any true war territory deployments in the near future.
#2 Before I get married, I am going to have long and important conversations with my potential spouse in regards to working and not. I believe that if a female is able to work and has to resources available in regards to daytime childcare, then she should take it so that she can help out the family financially the same way my mother does and same way MANY other women do around this country and around the world. If a female is a stay at home mom because she is unable to work, that is find. If she is a stay at home mom because the family has no way to afford child daycare, then that is fine. But when a female has the resources and is able to work but STILL chooses not to work because she wants to live out some childhood fantasy of being a stay at home mom like this is 1957, then that is just selfish.
Again, if finances is the reason why a female does not work because they cant afford daycare, that is fine. But what about those wives who are married to Senior NCOs and Senior Officers? You're telling me that they can't afford daycare?
#3 As to my mom being a "SuperMom" and me living a perfect life, that is funny. So all of a sudden a female who works while having kids is now SuperMom? So I guess my dad was SuperDad because he had kids and still worked, he didn't stay at home. My mom WANTED to work, despite how much my dad made as an NCO and eventually Senior NCO. She knew if that a $50k salary from my father was a lot of money to support us, just imagine and extra $30k salary from my mother. They were a TRUE team. They BOTH worked and BOTH contributed into the financial pool. This money pool was used to pay for the cars and put into savings accounts, and eventually helping me go through college. Had my mom not worked, this could have been a bit more difficult, but my mother toughed it through and found a way. She didn't make excuses for herself like many women do, she instead took action and made a desire an actuality.
#4 Why do I sound Angry? Well maybe it is because I believe that women today find reasons not to work. Back in the day, higher education wasn't easily granted for women and even then, their career opportunities were low. Can't be a doctor but you can be a nurse! You can't be an Executive but you can be the Executive's secretary and so on and so fourth. Today, things have changed and women are earning more Bachelor's and MBA's than me, but yet they do not do anything with them. They get degrees, find work, and just wait for a guy to come along and put a ring on her finger, make her belly flat and then say she can't work because she has to take care of the kids at home. I knew a girl in college who said that she only expects to work for a short time after college because she wants to become a mom and believes that it is the man's job to provide income, not the lady. WTF!!! Is this the 50s or 30s or something?
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I'm sorry, to me there isn't anything attractive about housewives. To me, I have ALWAYS been attracted to the "Go-Getter" to of women, the briefcase type of women during the week, and babystroller women on the weekends. Women who make an earning for themselves, even if they are married with kids. You know…..21st Century women! If I am making $30k, $40k, or even $60k a year, that is fine, but I do not believe that is enough to support a family in today's economy. If I am making $35k a year, then it would be helpful if my wife goes out and gets a job to bring in an extra salary to help out.
I'll just go back to my original point, you are talking out your a *s . You are not married. All of your bullet points sound great in theory, but living real life is different. If it worked for your parents, wonderful. Your mom is a gem. Apparently, she is ready for sainthood. She never missed anything, never had a regret. Man, what a woman. Your dad too.
Your comments however give away your REAL feelings about women. A comment like "can't be a doctor, so be the nurse" or "can't be the executive so be the secretary" explain very clearly how YOU really feel about women, DJ and it isn't pretty. You clearly have a lot of anger and very specific ideas about women's roles in life and the workplace.
Personally, I don't know any women who sit at home with advanced degrees. You are a confused young man. You sound like you have been burned and/or rejected. Women that have worked for advanced degrees and are carrying that kind of payback on college loans don't sit on their behinds waiting for some prince charming (like yourself) to come along. Most women I know are absolutely UNinterested in staying home and raising kids. They've earned their degrees and plan to work for the same career advancement as their spouses.
So where does that leave the marriage and kids? On the rocks. The divorce rate is 50%+ (I know some people who are going through their 2nd, 3rd and 4th divorces). So, yes, DJ, women can work, can have children, be married, do it all, have it all, and some can even hold it together in their relationships too. But sadly, many end up married to a secret baby chauvinist like yourself who talks the talk until the marriage, kids and real work coming along — then POOF! it all goes up in a ball of smoke. Kind of like your delusions about the War being over in 2014, Peace in the World and everyone singing Kum ba ya thanks to the POTUS. But you keep dreaming those Disney dreams, DJ. Someone needs to. And whatever you are smoking or putting in your Kool-Aid, son, be sure to pass it around. It must be good.
Lol, you clearly did not read my comments above. When I say that women can't be doctors but can be nurses, I was referring to how it was a long time ago. Back in the day, women were restricted from many occupations and education paths. It was where only men could be surgeons and doctors and only women could be nurses if they wanted a field in medicine. Today is different and women CAN become doctors and such.
My point was that back in the day, it was sort of reasonable to see why most women were stay at home moms, because they have very limited career paths. Today, that is not the case as women now have those paths open, so what is the excuse not to work?
As for me being burned or rejected, no, and that is not the point of this. The point is that women [not just military wives] sees working differently from men. For women, most women only want to work when they are single because they have nobody to take care of them financially. However, when they get married, they are fast ready to get pregnant so that they can use the excuse of taking care of kids to not work.
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I'll say it again, if a female is a stay at home mom because she does not have the education to get a job or has the resources for day care, then I can understand that. My gripe comes from women who DO have the education but still CHOOSE not to work. My gripe comes from women who DO have the money and resources for daycare but still CHOOSE not to work.
I hear it all the time from women how "lucky" they are that they do not have to work. WFT?!!? I don't know, but that sounds selfish to me. I mean yeah, it would be cool if I have 50 million in my checking account and I would feel lucky not to have to work ever for the rest of my life. But at least in that situation I won't be leeching off of another person. To those women who think they are lucky to not have to work because of their husbands, thats sad, they rather leech off of him while they sit home and play CityVille, and watch daytime television.
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Am I a sexist? No, I am far from that. In fact, I am very progressive when it comes to women. I believe women can do the same things as men can and should have equal opportunity in things such as equal pay. Hell, I believe that as long as she can keep up, women should be allowed to serve in Infantry. I love women and cannot wait to marry a career/professional oriented women because those are the types that I'm attracted to. It just irks me to see that there are still women out there who want to act like it is still 1952 and CHOOSE not to work and put all the financial stress on the male.
I would be more concerned that you couldn't find a woman to marry you because of your attitude toward women, actually. As a military spouse that does work, and does have children, let me be the voice of experience, here: childcare is work. That's why have to, you know, pay a daycare, instead of dropping the kids off for free. You are paying a childcare worker to do the work of taking care of your child. It is still work if the child you are caring for is your own. This is not complicated. Just because your mother did things one way does not mean that she followed the One True Path, and all who stray from her example are somehow lesser beings.
Simple…when I got out of the military, my wife couldnt deal without the "security". Why worry about life after he retires…you should be coming up with a game plan well in advance. I dont want to judge, but Mel…its not all about you and what you are comfy with…just sayin.
John, just because I'm comfy doesn't mean I won't do what needs to be done when the time comes to leave the military. My husband and I have already started talking about retirement and we are taking into consideration the needs of the entire family, not just me. I resent the statement "its not all about you". I've been second to my husband's military obligations for 23 years and I am still with him. Just ask him, he'll tell you that I have been a continual source of support no matter what has been asked of us. There is nothing wrong with me saying that I enjoy my life in the military community and in no way does this indicate that I won't be able to handle life in a civilian communinty. I did it when he was on I & I duty and I can do it again. Anyone who anticipates a big change in their life will feel a degree of worry, it's a normal reaction to change.
Well I certainly dont want to upset anybody but dang…it sure sounds as if you want him to stay in tll he's dead…there is life after the miitary…its not that difficult. Sure your going to miss all the BAH and extras but dang….the dude did his time…dont make him feel as if he has to work forever for the military. You know as well as I do there are a lot of Mil Spouses out there sitting on thier butts with no intention of helping out…just because your a Mil Spouse doesnt mean your service member or the Mil owes you anything…being a "lifer" is just a phrase…not something everybody wants to do.
John, I understand where you are coming from. That comment I made was another way of me saying that I can keep doing this if he continues to reenlist. Every time reenlistment has come up he has been very concerned about how I feel and if I still want to live the military life. He also struggles with guilt because he feels bad for leaving the kids and I alone so much while he is doing something that he believes in. I am concerned with his happiness and he loves being a Marine. I always tell him that the decision is ultimately up to him since he is the one who lives it and deals with it everyday. We have always discussed each step he has taken in his career and I continue to support his desire to stay in the Marine Corps. Also, I will support him in whatever he chooses to do after his career in the Marine Corps is over. We only have a few years left until he has done thirty and he hasn't decided what that next step will be, but we'll figure it out.
What about YOUR next step?
I mean, I do not know how old you are, but judging by your comments, it would appear that you are of age where you kids aren't little babies anymore or little kids anymore. With that being said, what is your excuse to not to work? You're not changing diapers anymore. You're not waking up 3AM every morning to deal with crying babies. You are not stressing during the day because you are dealing with hyper 3, 4, and 5 year olds. I am sure that your kids are old enough to where they can take care of themselves for a few hours while mom and dad is at work.
It seems that you just attached yourself to your husband and just went along with the ride.
You know DJ, my husband doesn't have a problem with how we are living our lives, so why the he** do you? His judgement is the only one I care about and I haven't gotten any complaints.
mel, it's obvious, DJ has lots of issues. He talks a good game, but obviously his mother's absence has scared him. He hates women or hates men — maybe just hates himself. My original point was:
1) Why are you here talking SMACK, DJ, when you are not active-duty and not married, so don't have a clue?
2) It'll be quite the different story when YOU are big returning warrior stud expecting your wife to be at home taking care of YOUR children. Daycare is a nightmare, buddy. And if you are the kind of guy who just doesn't care who raises his kids then you are really scary. Your mom being gone did major damage to you.
3) You seem to have lots of issues about women, men, relationships and lots of stuff that you have no clue about at your tender age. So until you grow up, get married, are active duty, have a few deployments under your belt and some real life to go with it, you should probably just shut the heck up. You continue to embarrass yourself, son.
1) You do not need to be active duty nor married to believe in a modern marriage/family in which BOTH the husband/father and wive/mother split household duties and both work. I grew up in a household where both of my parents worked and most importantly, I saw my mother work. Not only did I see her work but I saw her WANT to work. Some of her most depressing and stressful times was when she was out of work. I remember when we were first stationed at Ft. Gordon, GA my mom was out of work for almost a year because we had just left Ft. Richardson, AK and she had to leave her job there and get a new one in Augusta/Ft. Gordon. So she went back to school at Augusta Tech CC to get a Certification which strengthened her resume. Shortly after that, she was working full-time again and she was so happy.
When I got older, I ask her this very question. I had heard this statistic that an overwhelmingly majority of US women would rather be housewives/stay-at-home moms/homemakers rather than have a 9-5 career. I asked her if she was one of these women and she said no. She said that she didn't work because she felt like she had to because technically, my dad (E7 at the time) basepay + BAH was more than enough for all 4 of us to live on. She said that she worked because it gave her a sense of peace, knowing that she does not have to depend on a man for the finances. She also said that it was better that they both worked because in a crazy event in which my dad is denied reenlistment and loses his job, we will still be able to carry on because my mom is still bringing $40k a year in.
2) Well the issue of daycare is different depending on each person. You obviously do not believe in daycare but I do, because it worked for me and my brother. When I was a baby, my mom was out of work and stayed home with me. But when I got of age (around 3) then she placed me in a daycare service so that she can go back to work. With my brother, he was in daycare even as a baby. I do not know if you are familiar with Kindercare (They are here in Fayetteville, NC) but when we were first stationed at Ft. Bragg and lived off base, both my brother and I went there and it was fun! It is sort of like a daycare center and Pre-K all in one. It is expensive, but that is because their quality is SO high. I will admit, there are MANY off the wall daycare centers that I would never put my children in, but there are also MANY other top notch daycare/pre-k facilities that are a great environment for young children to be in and be social with other kids of their age.
I do not know what branch your husband is in or where he has been stationed, but at the places I have lived such as Ft. Gordon, Ft. Richardson, and Ft. Bragg, and if you live on base, there are resources available for kids to go during the day while their parents work. When I was going to elementary school at Ft. Bragg (living on base at this point), I would leave Murray Elementary School on a bus that took us to the base Youth Center while we would stay there until are parents picked us up. We would play on the playground there, play in the gym, play videogames or do other fun and social activities. So around 4-5PM my mom or dad would come and pick me up, whomever got off first.
So for me at least, I have a more optimistic approach to daycare because I have a positive experience of it and so does my parents. Just because my mom decided to have a career does not make her any less of a care taker. She was there when I was sick, there for my extra activities such as soccer and karate lessons and was there for my school. Hell, she was more involved than my dad was because he schedule was always unstable. But what matters is that she got it done.
3) I do not have any issues with women, I just have a very progressive and modern view of women. Assuming I have a daughter someday, I would want my daughter to find happiness for herself. I do not want her to believe that she needs a man for that. I want her to goto college, get an education, and find a career. I want her to carve her own path, not have a man carve it for her. I want her to find love, but for the right reasons. Again, this isn't the 20th Century or the 19th Century, this is the good ole 21st Century and there are WAY MORE opportunities for women than there ever was. We are in an era where it is becoming REALLY close to finally having a female president, that is assuming Hilary Clinton runs and wins in 2016. Also, there is a growing number of women who are choosing careers over motherhood and I support them 100%. I think it is sexist to tell a women that she needs to be concerned about being a mother over being a professional.
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Cont….
The problem isn't me and it isn't you. It is just that we are two different people with two different ideologies. I tend to have a more…..modern view of women in the family, a view where the female also works and the house duties are split between the man and women. You seem to have a more traditional view of women in the family where the female stays at home while the male brings in the money. You might like that but many of today's young women might not like that. I might want my wife to work but many other men might not want their wife to work. Nobody is wrong or right, just two different beliefs. I was out of line to jump down your throat about your lifestyle decision(s) because that is what makes you happy then okay. All I am saying is that the environment today is different than it was decades ago. Stay at home women in the 1950s stayed at home because there weren't a great number of career opportunities to them, and to the ones that were there, it was very competitive. For a little 6 year old girl in 1931 say that she wants to be a CEO one day was a laughable thought. For her to say she wanted to be a brain Surgeon was a laughable thought. Today, that is not the case, some of today's most productive and successful CEOs are women and some of the most reliable and cutting edge people in the medical field today are women, not men. So today when I run into "Stay at home moms" I kind of cringe. Are they staying at home because they can't find work or are they staying home because they want don't want to work and would rather put the financial burden on their husbands?
Oh dear, DJ, we could go on like this for weeks, but what's the point. Your mom was one of those women that NEEDED to work, was happier working than being at home with her children. That makes me sad. After several HORRIBLE experiences with daycare providers and daycare on base, we decided (jointly) that the best people to raise our son would be us, his parents. If that meant I worked less or not at all in some cases, so be it. Does that make me lazy and a cringe-inducing stay-at-home mom (in your words)? Okay. I can live with that. But when daycare workers leave bruises on kid because (in their words) "they are tired" that's enough for me.
Of course, it's different today. People say the economy has FORCED women to work. Not true. What has forced women to work (in many cases) is the desire to have larger homes, 2 or 3 cars, several large expensive vacations per year, 2 or 3 or 4 TVs, iPods, DVD players, so many toys their kids can't play with all of them (should I continue?). You get the idea. Most families CAN, in fact, manage on one paycheck if they get their priorities straight.
WHY in the world would I want to bring children into the world only to dump them at daycare at 6 or 7 a.m. daily and pick them back up at 6 or 7 p.m. daily????? Why bother? Oh and I've seen worse. Children raised by live-in nannies while dual career families do their thing and the kids are left to fend for themselves becoming sexually promiscuous, attending activities with friends' families or alone, acting out to get their parents' attention, and the parents' response "we gave them everything money could buy, what's WRONG with kids these days???"
So if you think having a hard-charging full-time career woman who will step on YOUR back to get her next promotion will make you feel like a man, I say good on you, DJ. But I suspect you will find the reality will be much different. The ideal you have in your head is just that, an ideal, a dream. I've seen very few of those "shared" chores, shared child-rearing, share everything marriages. Sounds good on paper, doesn't really work out that way in real life (except for your mom and dad of course). And I'm speaking from 25 years of marriage to an active-duty member with multiple short tours, several 1 year+ tours, too many TDY's to count, a couple of remotes…. and more. But you keep your dream alive. I hope it all works out for you. That perfect girl must be out there somewhere. I think her name is Julia Roberts or Cinderella. Good luck. You'll need it. All of your fantasies are precious if they weren't so delusional.
DJ:
Your quote about: "so when I run into stay at home mom's I cringe," really said it all. I predict you come home with a nice girl from another country, say South Korea or someplace like that. And she will RUN YOU. You will be pedicure boy at her number one nail salon.
No matter who I choose to marry, I will be upfront with her from the beginning that I want to be a modern family where the female also works. If I see any resentment, then it won't happen, no marriage.
Next time I run into a female who says that women can't get ahead because of the sexist men out there, I will redirect them to your comments here. To show them that while sexism is still hindering women from advancing, there is still a number of women out there [you] who DOES NOT want to advance women forward.
Dear god you really are on crack…..or grew up in the MOST backwoods hick town that I can imagine (and I grew up in a backwoods hick town). I was also raised by one of those "horrible" parents that dropped their kid off at daycare since they both had full time jobs.
Guess what sweet pea….I was independent enough to start my own business stocking quarter machines at 14 (with $100 from my parents…they were paid back fully 40 days later). I was NEVER "sexually promiscuous"…in fact I married my mil spouse and he was the SECOND person I'd been with by age 19 (I'm 35ish now) .
Right now, my husband is a "senior officer"…I am a "hard charging" career spouse and I make more money than he does..but rest assured that if he gets hurt in war…I can support our household emotionally and financially for many years to come. Unlike you, my husband isn't a means to an end (that end being a paycheck like you indicate), rather, he is a part of my life…you should be ashamed of yourself for this
Thank you for your response. Women like her are a prime example of why a lot of women can't get ahead to day. I like to use the phrase that: The Class Ceiling still exist today….mainly because women WANT it to exist. There is no way I can get my point across to her as it is obvious that she represents a large sect of women who would rather say in the "Mad Men" era of sexism where women did not have ANY roles or respect outside of the home.
She classifies parents as "horrible" because they want to be a career women. She wants to talk about daycare as this place where kids go and get abused and I am not denying that it doesn't happen, but please do not act like ALL daycare centers are like that. I was in daycare and NOTHING happened to me. If I got hurt, it was because I was just being a little 4 year old boy at the playground who feel down at scrapped his knee. In fact, I ENJOYED my years at daycare and really missed it when I had to start Kindergarten.
Also she talks about needing to stay home and raise kids. Well, I can understand that if they are babies through age 4 or so. But what about when they goto school? From like 8AM to like 3PM no kids are at home! So what is her excuse to stay home then? She can't get a parttime job to have it where she is home by 3PM to meet the kids at the bus stop? I swear, women like her just don't want to admit that they are golddiggers who married their husbands not for love, but for the financial security.
It is sad that in 2012 I am reading comments like this from women. If this was 1949 I can understand, but in 4 years there is talk of having our first female president [Hilary Clinton] which signifies how far women have came in terms of the professional realm and yet we still have women like her who would rather go back to the days where the only role a female can play in life is to stay at home and leech off of her husbands money, NOT HER money but her husbands.
Sad….