In my opinion, from the day you sign up for the military to the day you get out, you are the military’s responsibility and if something happens to you because of the military, it’s their responsibility to fix it. But that isn’t always the case.
In March of 2011 my husband was injured while deployed with the 101st Airborne Division to Afghanistan. He stepped on an IED and immediately lost both his legs.
But that wasn’t all. He suffered other major injuries – including one to his groin, which left him with only one viable testicle.
We were both very young and dreamed of starting a family, so this was a huge concern to us. I asked the military over and over again for testing to be done to ensure we would be able to have children and I was told time and time again we could.
Still, I had an unsettled feeling about the whole situation. A few months before my husband was set to retire, I demanded further testing. A visit to the urology clinic for a semen analysis revealed the result I feared most: we would never be able to have our own children.
I was filled with emotions; disappointment, anger, and complete devastation. I wondered if they had just done these tests 18 months ago when we asked, could we have done something? Since we’ll never know the answer to that, we knew we just needed to look at another viable option: in vitro fertilization.
As we were told about this a few things really stuck. Both the waiting list, which can be over a year long, and the criteria requiring candidates to meet very specific age, weight, exercise, eating and vitamin rules were surprising and disappointing.
But the most shocking thing was this: Veterans Affairs does not cover the cost of in vitro fertilization. The procedure can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $15,000, and that is per session. If you don’t successfully get pregnant, you pay that over and over again until you do.
When I learned the VA doesn’t cover this I was completely shocked. The military paid for my husband’s prosthetic legs, wheelchair, hospital stays, and everything else — but they can’t pay to help us have a child? Were it not for his injury we likely would be able to. But they are not willing to fix – or at least help us find a solution around – this.
We are not the only ones in this situation; there are thousands of soldiers who sustained groin injuries due to combat. There needs to be a law passed that allows the military to cover in vitro fertilization and any fertility testing for soldiers who received groin injuries due to combat. It is absolutely wrong that there isn’t already. It would mean the world of difference to so many people, including my family. To rip the dream of having a family away from thousands of servicemembers is wrong.
I can only think of positive reasons is to why the military should cover in vitro fertilization and fertility treatments for servicemembers who suffered a groin injury in combat. It shouldn’t be a debate. It should be a law.
Editor’s note: A bill has been introduced to the Senate by Sen. Patty Murray, chairwoman of the Veteran’s Affairs committee. You can let your voice be heard by going here and writing a letter to your Congressional representatives. When searching for your representatives remember to use the address in the state in which you vote, not the address where you currently live.
Megan Zimmerman is the spouse of a medically retired Soldier who was injured in Afghanistan in 2011.
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AMEN. We should – while we're at – have the ability to freeze our spouse's sperm AT OUR OWN HOSPITALS during deployments. Instead, we spend hundreds of dollars driving to far-away cities to have it done. The military should focus its health care on a Whole Life policy far more than it does.
I'm so sorry for your troubles, Megan.
This is BS… adopt. Who says your genes are worthy of passing on any way? The government is paying everything it SHOULD be paying! I am also an amputee and I don't get half of those benefits! Not because I wasn't willing to go to war either, but because fate had other plans for me and a drunk driver took them instead. So stop wailing about what you don't have and be grateful for what you do have! He's alive and going to be able to be a great dad to A child… ADOPT. Too many children need good homes as it is. And OMG really? Freezing sperm?? Not even going there.
I agree. It's totally absurd that so many who sacrifice so much are not given the opportunity to have children because the VA won't pay for in vitro. The government puts so much of their money towards taking life (like abortions) instead of giving life. So pathetic!
What? The govts spending gobs of money on abortion? Please! Thats so false its ridiculous!
I think the point is that the Government has terrible accountability practices, and it isn't hard for certain groups (like Planned Parenthood or whomever) to receive Federal (or state and local) Fundings while openly advocating and facilitating abortions. So yes there are technically laws on the books, but it gets overlooked easily and constantly. In cases like this, can you than make the argument that the government is financing it? Eyes of the beholder I suppose. That's why I am against the government funding all types of groups, projects and endeavors it has no business getting into. Oh and I suppose the lesson on the story is freeze a sample as insurance.
That is, actually and technically, incorrect.The government currently does not fund any programs that provide abortions unless the life of the mother is in danger.
While your comment is fine, let me take this opportunity to say: please remember that the author of this post is reading the comments. Any hateful comments will be deleted. Don't say anything here that you wouldn't say to her face if you saw her at the grocery store.
Thank you!
The Hyde Amendment prevents federal funds from being used for abortion. Please do your research next time before making statements like that.
The Hyde Amendment prevents federal funds from being used for abortions, so I'm not sure where you got that information, but it is blatantly false.
I’m so sorry 4 ur situation n I deeply appreciate ur family’s service. Ever consider adoption? It’s a first choice 4 many ppl n there r ways 2 do it that r little or no charge.
Adoption is a much better option than IVF. Especially if you are against abortion, since usually many embryos are wasted in the process. There are so many children who need homes, maybe this tragedy is god telling you that you should open your hearts to a child who already exists and needs a home.
Get off your high horse!! Of course adoption is an option but like many couples they want a chance to concieve their own child of their own DNA. God gave us the ability of IVF and a fertilized egg is far from an embryo so sont even try to put that pro life guilt trip on!!
God did not give us the ability of IVF. I highly doubt it was God’s plan for us to extract sperm from a guy and an egg from a girl, combined the two in a petry dish, make sure the egg is fertalized and then implant it into the girls uterus. Call me crazy but I am pretty sure God’s intentions were for us to have kids the old fashion way. and yes it is a tragedy that this happened, but let me ask this… Where exactly would the Government be getting the funding to cover the costs of IVF for soldiers who suffer a groine injury while in combat? Our Country is already enduring Finacial hardships…
I'm sorry, but the government does not spend money on abortions. Also, no one is taking away his opportunity to have kids. They might not be able to have biological kids, but they still can adopt. Adoption is a real blessing not only to the family receiving the child, but to the child who needs a loving home as well. If you don't want to gov't to fund abortions, then you shouldn't support them funding IVF treatments either, since only 5% of the eggs fertilized (i.e. embryos, i.e. what most pro-lifers consider human life) ever become live births. The rest are destroyed or aborted. If you cared about life, you would support giving opportunities for a better future to those already living, such as children who are up for adoption and in the foster care system.
I don’t believe that the VA should be held accountable for helping people have kids. Yes it’s sad that so many soldiers can no longer have the choice to have kids due to injuries they obtained overseas. It was long stated by the VA of what they will and will not cover. If you want to target someone, target the DOD or whatever branch your husband served in. I’ve served my country and there’s a saying we always used about the military not paying for us to have kids. Yes they support us having kids and they pay us extra for our dependents, but under no circumstance are they required by law or otherwise to help you conceive a child. Servicemembers like myself know the risks and sacrifices that you must make when you join. My husband froze his sperm and I froze my eggs as proper planning. We are now pregnant with our first child and both wee injured while serving our Country.
I totally agree with you. Think of the total cost: the process, doctor visits, maternity care, hospital bills, dependent care, increase in pay, etc. Also if they did it for one child what are they going to do if they want another child? Then what?
Having any kind of injury in combat, training, or simply by serving is a tragedy; however, when we enlist we know there is a risk. The government can’t afford to compensate you for every “what if” scenario. Was there a sperm test conducted when the member enlisted? No, so there is an assumption that a child could be produced in the first place. I understand there was an accident which involved, but the accident could have exacerbated the problem. It does not mean that the accident caused the problem. Although I think it is crazy to put a price tag on a limb, the military has done that and I’m sure there was compensation to the member (through TSGLI). Also, during the separation process I’m sure the member was also given a VA rating for his current disability. The VA rating is the compensation from being hurt or injured during an enlistment. I’ve served for over 20 years, so I know exactly what I’m talking about. We hold our spouses and loved ones in high regard and we will probably NEVER think the government is doing enough for the situation. Not so… The government is working hard to improve the situation, but asking them to pick up the tab on IVF when they’ve already provided compensation is unfair.
T Mommy,
Not only is the conversation "pathetic", but the whole government is "pathetic" as well! Have you ever looked at the retirement of senators and representatives benefits. Even if they serve one time, they are afforded full retirement pay, while if a military man or woman retires after 20 years of devoted service, they only receive 1/2 their military pay, or something close to it.
And they receive this for what, playing games while in session, reading magazines while in session, telephoning while in session, and probably playing with their secretaries and other women as well, while in session. Don't you know they are the elite class of America now, they believe it, and they vote accordingly, or at least the majority of the idiots do.
Well then T Mommy, If you think our Government is so “Pathetic” Please feel free to pack up your **** and leave this country. Go find yourself a nice third world country… IDK how about Iraq or Afghanistan for example and try sharing your political views with the men in those countries and see how far you get.
Oh and BTW… I am s military veteran that served my country proud and lost alot of friends while overseas. So on behalf of my fallen commrades, you are welcome that their sacrifices for this country and the government we served to protect, gives you the freedom to be a total ***** and insult our leaderd
My fellow patriot and veteran, Joshua,
It is believed I am just as good a patriot as you are. But, unlike you, when I observe what the V A and the government has done to destroy the lives of so many people, unnecessarily I might add, lying to their warriors as they did (and still do), and not obeying the very laws they created to protect the people with disabilities which war did to them (100%), then as a patriot and a veteran of the Vietnam War and Cold War, I take exception to what I see and to what I learn about the government of this country.
And what I have seen and learned is very, very discouraging, and has been discouraging since I was a teenager. While the Constitution still allows me the right of free speech, I will use that right to voice my opinions, just like you, in order to attempt to wake up so many citizens, just like you.
As a Vietnam veteran that served in combat, I also believe I have earned the right to voice my opinion as I have. Am I angry, you had better believe it and will take the opportunity as I have to voice it when I see discrimination as I have, especially by the Veterans Administration, and broken promises by the government as well.
Thank you so kindly for your statements and your invitation to leave the country for a third world country. America has changed since the days of our forefathers, so since my blood line help populate this country and make it into what it once was, I will continue to live in this broken country as it has become to be, because of selfishness, greed.
Ray
And by the way, Joshua, I too, am a very proud member and Marine Corps Sergeant with the respect and admiration for not only how I served, but with the military decorum, pride and distinguished service to my GOD, to my Lord, to this country, to the Marine Corps, and especially to my beloved Squadron, VMO-6. As a distinguished Marine, I earned 17 awards and recognition for that service.
As far as ridiculing those that should be ridiculed, that is the way it should be, with a "do nothing Congress".
And that is the way not only the world is today, but that would be how america is today — pathetic!
I have to say I'm not really surprised they don't cover it and don't really feel they should. That would be some serious $$$. I do feel that they should pay for the freezing of sperm or eggs for soldiers. That would be a much more cost saving option IMO. And I am sorry for what happened for your soldier but I don't think they should have to pay for IVF for you.
"Under the compensation schedule for genitourinary injuries, physical loss or permanent loss of use of the penis will result in a $50,000 one-time payment. Compensation for loss of a testicle is $25,000; $50,000 for loss of both, according to the Federal Register."
Maybe this money could be used to pay for the IVF.
Here is the link to the full article: http://www.wadenapj.com/event/article/id/25992/
My daughter is a surgeon at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany and just got out of Afghanistan. It is devastating for her to have to tell a 19 year old man that not only has he lost limbs, and yes his internal organs have been patched up, but that he will never be able to function sexually normal again. The IED's cause these types of injuries. Women are not exempt. The same type of damage happens to their sexual organs and bodies.
My heart goes out to all the families affected by war related injuries. This government payment doesn't make up for the loss of potential biological children, but it is a step in the right direction.
@ The mommy- you are the first person that’s responded to this blog that has offered up a solution to this woman’s issues. Thank you for giving her useful information and being compassionate at the same time. You didn’t tell her to get over it, to wallow and whine and you certainly didn’t call her selfish for wanting to conceive. Everyone knows adoption is an option- there is NO NEED TO STATE THIS to someone in this situation. Your answer was dead-on and I think that the original writer would appreciate it as much as I did. Thank you again for your post!!!
So, the government has their cake (the soldiers fighting and sacrificing their lives) and doesn't have to pay to help the soldier's carry on their names because they lost the vital organs for reproduction, through the children they can't have, without IVF, because of cost. What if that soldier didn't volunteer their service, didn't lose the vital organs of reproduction and your son had to volunteer in his place, got wounded in his place in his groin, and lost the capability of reproduction, not offering you the chance to have grandchildren by him? What would you think then? Thought so, your interest will be different and crying a different opinion! You know what? Opinions are like rectums, we all have one!
I don't think the gov't owes anyone children. Having kids or not having kids is a choice. If it was me and my son I would encourage him to adopt/foster as their are plenty of already born kids who need homes. IVF is not the govts responsibility.
I'll tell you the same thing I was told when I enlisted back in Feb 1980:
"If Uncle Same wanted you to have children – Uncle Sam would issue you one.
I agree with Rquick, it's not the military's responsibility to ensure you have children. He NEEDS the wheelchair, prosthetics etc simply to survive and have a semi normal life, so they pay for that.
Having children is a personal choice, one I don't feel the taxpayers should pay for, especially not at 15k a pop. I understand it's upsetting to you, but financially that is asking too much of the American public. I'll agree on sperm storage for deployed soldiers for the year they are gone, anything above that is asking too much I think.
I agree 100%. In my 8+ years experience with TriCare, they are only going to pay for what you really need (medically necessary). If they won't pay for my contact lenses, they're not going to pay for your IVF. It's just not medically necessary. I completely understand your frustration with not being able to get pregnant, but even most private/employer provided insurance plans don't cover IVF.
I agree, the military is not obligated to do everything and I don’t expect them too. I’m thankful they cover my husband but greatful for theyou resourses that cover our family.
While I understand having a child is not a necessary medical expense. They took away his option of having a child so they should have to pay for that.
They gave you your husband back and they continue to care for him so that you two can enjoy a long life together. That is giving you your family. Be grateful he is still alive.
How do you know that it was an option before his accident? Was there a sperm test performed before showing he had a high enough count to perform conception without aide?
guest,
You got it. When a warrior is in combat and is wounded, the government's responsibility is to make him as whole as possible, according to Abraham Lincoln and even the laws of this land. Anything short of that is pure outright discrimination and in violation of the Civil Rights Laws of this sorry, mournful land
When a warrior is promised to be taken care of fully after wounded in combat, and isn't, that should tell you very much about the government, from president down, to ensure their wounded warriors are all taken care of, in whatever ways they require, according to the specific injuries they received in combat.
Bless you and yours!
Amen!!!
Why does Tricare cover boob jobs? As far as I know those are not medically necessary unless you've had an injury or cancer and yet you can get a free one from Tricare. Most private insurance wouldn't pay for just anybody to get their boobs done! So I guess it's "sorry you can't have a baby but here are some free boobs to make you feel better!"
Jane, Tricare does not cover all boob jobs. You can not just go in and request one. Most breast implant surgeries performed are done so by a resident (military doctor in training) supervised by a certified medical doctor. There are certain steps you have to go through to get the procedure done as well as this is good practice for the doctors in the off chance it is medically necessary.
If they had to wait to train a student on the procedure as to when a medically necessary case were available then most would not be trained in this procedure.
Thank you for setting Jane (and MANY others) straight! It is a common misconception among military wives (and soldiers, for that matter!) that Tricare pays for boob jobs as long as you say having saggy, small, or otherwise "imperfect" boobs is hurting your self esteem. This is completely FALSE. The procedures that are covered are done so when the resident is training on this procedure. There is a VERY long wait list and there is still a cost associated with this procedure (above and beyond the "cost" of having surgery done by a resident and not a certified doctor).
Sure Jane, you can go into the V A's office and request anything you desire. Doesn't mean you are going to get what you asked for. Join the thousand's of veterans that have continually been denied the services, pensions we all have the legal right to, for the services and the wounds we have received as a consequence of our adult decisions. And, if the wound isn't open, or pouring out blood, it isn't an injury, and therefore will not be compensated for.
Trieste DOES NOT provide free breasts. Breast enhancement is offered on a case by case basis. Most often for breast cancer survivors OR due to severe medical condition that results in medically ethical cause and with a in depth mental health examination. No one can go in and just want a breast job –just cause! The govt does pay for contacts, fancy eye glass frames, lipo, braces, fancy prescription drugs or IVF.
Tricare does not give free **** jobs. Tricare will only cover Breast Augmentation for a female soldier if it is medically necessary in order for her to properly perform her job.
This is a poor argument. Infertility is a medical condition and as such should be treated and covered as any other medical condition is. How would you feel if your right to have children was taken away and then your ability to do something about it was severely limited due to lack of medical coverage.
I would deal with it, save money and pay for my own treatment…I would NEVER expect the military to pay for me to have a baby. A baby is NOT medically neccessary for survival so why would it be covered under insurance?
So Contact Lenses/ Glasses are not medically necessary?
I agree. It's terrible that this is a result of his injury and that your growing your family naturally is not an option. They have provided him with the means to lead the most normal life he can. I would rather the money that it would take for an IVF treatment to continue to go to soldiers that lose limbs, have traumatic brain injuries, need mental health assistance, etc. On the Tricare website it states there are facilities that take assist military families (http://www.tricare.mil/pressroom/news.aspx?fid=530), only four, with IVF. I do not know how that applies to your situation. I'm sorry for this situation in your life. There are alternatives that can result in a very happy family unit. Hopefully you will be able to explore and embrace those options. Although this has been taken from your family, as well as many things, you do have your husband with you and together, I am sure you will be able to find the answers you need. Good luck.
I agree with you that having children is a personal choice to those folks who can have them. Is it a personal choice that a military person gets injured in combat, in the crotch, and later learns he or she cannot have children. Yes, the government recruiters will tell anyone the government will always back them up after their service when the military person, just in order for them to sign the bottom line of enlistment. But, let's face it, as the red men did many, many decades ago. "White men speak with forked tongue". There is someone else I know that speaks with a forked tongue as well, as that is exactly what the government has become. Stop and think what the senators and the house representative members have done — made themselves above the law and not subject to the laws, as we know them, and are. You people out in la la land, will understand one day when you too, will be led to the deep ditches dug by bull doziers, like sheep to the slaughter house, like the Jews were during World War II by Germany.
I feel bad for you, but I have to agree with guest completely.
Guest of three days ago,
I agree with you guest of 3 days ago to a point. The V A and the government should not be in the business generally of paying for people having babies in general.
However, when a military recruit signs on the dotted line of the enlistment contract, the government not only becomes responsible for that recruit, to take complete care of him as long as the contract goes, but is legally bound to take care of him for any injuries or wounds he may receive in the performance of the warriors duties.
Now, it is citizens like you and others that are only vested in your own pockets and not the best interest within the warriors health, be it physical, medical, mental, or emotional, that has fought long and hard for 97% of this population, so sorry to say.
It is the responsibility of our poorly run government to assume the financial cost that is burdened by those warriors which have been in combat and are wounded. Lincoln stated to "…….care for the wounded that has born the brunt of battle…..". Lincoln didn't say take care of some of the wounded, but inferred all of the wounded and dead, shall be taken care.
It is such a disgrace that the people of this country are not sensitive to the needs of those that have fought valiantly and courageously for this country to be free since 1776.
Just reading some of these posts makes me wonder where the goodness of people with heart, has gone. So it seems that goodness is not part of the citizenry any longer. That is shameful!
show me where in the contract it states that it is a physical right to have a child. They ARE taking care of this man, they saved his life from injuries that would have killed him in earlier wars, provided him with prosthetics, wheelchairs, disability payments, mental health evaluations etc. I'm sure if there was a magic way to make his sperm count go up they would try it.
It is a CHOICE to have a child, if he was injured during the war that was a possibility that they KNEW could happen. If the OP was so heart set on having babies, they should have had his sperm tested and stored prior to deployment. A failure to plan is a plan to fail after all. It is not up to the Taxpayers of this country to pay for THEIR failure to properly plan for their "desperately wanted family"
My husband is active duty, with acute PTSD I ASSURE you I have military members best interests in mind. HOWEVER, I do not feel the American public should take care of the warriors AND the whims of their spouses. We aren't talking about treating a vet here, we're talking about treating his spouse, who never served it appears, at a VA clinic! And treating her for medically unnecessary procedure…that I simply call having a sense of entitlement.
i agree,
I can agree with Rquick & guest, although I hate to say it. But I'm wondering if it would be possible for somebody to start a non-profit to do exactly that: to help cover the cost of fertility treatments, adoption, etc., for servicemembers & their families who are unable to have children due to combat-related problems. I can think of lots of people who would be willing to donate to something like that.
I love how our readers think out of the box. Holly this is a great idea.
Fantastic idea!!!!! I bet lots of folks would donate!!!
yes you are on the right track as the goverment waste too much money on stupid things.
There IS a way to get a kind of "scholarship" for IVF! My sister has a friend who did it, and my husband and I are looking into it ourselves. With the scholarship, they cover about 80% of the cost and allow you somewhere between 3 and 5 tries. I don't remember what the website is – it's bookmarked on my laptop, which my hubby took with him TDY – but maybe you can do a Google search and find it? I agree that it sucks that Tricare won't cover IVF for wounded soldiers; especially since I have more than one friend who got Tricare to pay for a BOOB JOB just by convincing a shrink that their small chest size was depressing them. If Tricare will pay for a boob job, they should pay for IVF. But since they don't, look into the scholarship thing! You would be perfect candidates!
Seriously….they covered breast ENLARGEMENT?! They did cover my breast reduction, and I am truly grateful. But it was more cost effective for them to just pay for the reduction rather than repeated doctor, chiropractic, physical therapy and pain management visits. I do feel that there should be something that can be done in this situation though. Maybe not foot the whole cost, but something….it WAS the deployment that resulted in the soldiers inability to become a father.
@pfcpremosgirl,
The warrior footed the whole cost for his health as well as the inability to reproduce, so what makes you believe the government shouldn't foot the whole bill for IVF?
Does a warrior have the right to say, gee wheez, I don't believe I am not going to do everything I should be doing, because the government will not pay for 100% of what I will need, if I get injured? Does that sound kind of silly? Think about what you wrote!
Tricare does not pay for my glasses … something I need in order to see. I don't need a child. I might want a child … desperately and completely … but a child is not essential to my day-to-day living and my glasses are. I have several friends who all just recently adopted children into their military families. Many people who have never adopted say the same thing … "I could never love an adopted child the way I would love my own child". But time and time again, my friends have not only shown me that is wrong, but have shared with me that it doesn't matter … adopted or not, that is their son/daughter and they love them wholly and unconditionally. I'm sorry for your heartache, I truly am … because I share that heartache too, but no law needs to be passed. This is not a law I would ever support. I don't understand how anyone can think that it is Joe Q. Taxpayer's responsibility to pay for IVF for anyone, military or civilian. As it is, Joe Q. Taxpayer is already paying for many, many benefits that military spouses feel they are entitled to and feel they completely deserve, and some would argue that those benefits are absolutely NOT essential to quality of life. IVF is not a necessary or required medical procedure in order for you to enjoy quality of life. I would rather spend my taxpayer dollars on the medical care for your spouse, such as prosthetic legs, wheelchairs and hospital stays … things that we owe him for his service to our country. Things that are medically necessary for his day to day living. I can't justify in my head that we owe you a child or that we even owe you the chance to become pregnant in the only way you will accept. Comparing your spouse's medical needs with your desire to become parents is like comparing apples to oranges. In my heart, yes, I understand your desire to become parents. I understand your anger … why can't you have what "everyone else" has … the chance to become parents naturally? I understand your hurt … an opportunity that is taken for granted by so many was robbed from you because of the injuries your spouse sustained during combat for a job he volunteered for, knowing there would be risks involved. Of course you cannot possibly know what type of risks those will turn out to be. No one can. Life can be so unfair. But it is not medically necessary to become a parent.
It’s hard to believe the comments I’ve read. These people would have been able to have. children had the husband not been injured. Maybe the government doesn’t cover somethings you want but it should try to right the wrongs that have been done to this man. It is not ok to use people up and spit them out. If we can’t pay for this we shouldn’t use these men in war. I have been without a father my whole life because of his military death in WW II .
Right the wrongs? What wrongs? He volunteered to join the military. He made an adult decision that comes with adult consequences. And even if he hadn't been wounded, there is no automatic guarantee that this couple would have been able to have children. One would certainly hope so, but there is no guarantee.
seramia,
For years I have been making comments like you have just made. The government's pleasure is using the youth of this nation to fight the dirty wars they do not have the gonads to fight themselves, and yes, if you are the son or daughter of someone famous, rich, or make public fuss over, you probably will get all that you need for receiving all your wounds in combat. Unfortunately many youngsters that are wounded in combat are from the middle to lower classes of people within America, and do not have the will, money, or the fortitude to do anything about the wrongs which have occurred to them. They take the government "no" as stated, doing nothing except complaining and go on with their lives the best way they can.
If you believe the government will always do 100% of the time what is right for 100% of all those wounded, america, you are so wrong!
I'm sorry for your loss. These days signing up for service to your country is voluntary. The soldier knows and accepts the risk that he may become critically wounded or die in service. That is a fact of military life. It's not some walk in the park. It is sad that he may never be able to have his own children, but that is part of the risk he took when becoming a soldier. I'm glad he made it home. I'm going to pray every day when my husband is deployed next year that he comes home to me alive. She should be thank-ful she still has him and that his medical expenses of what he medically needs to survive are being met. There are plenty of children out there who need loving and caring people to adopt them.
You don't know they could have had kids, his sperm was never tested etc. And if it was THAT big of an issue for them, and knowing the possibility of death from war, why didn't they freeze his sperm prior to deployment? The doctors kept him alive with injuries that would have killed a man in earlier wars…10's if not hundreds of thousands of tax payer dollars have gone to his treatment, care and continual care. The author should be thankful to the taxpayers for giving her her husband back, not angry that we don't want to pay for her to get pregnant
"It's hard to believe the comments I've read. These people would have been able to have. children had the husband not been injured." And what makes you medically qualified to say that if her husband hadn't been injured they would have had a baby?
"Maybe the government doesn't cover somethings you want but it should try to right the wrongs that have been done to this man." What "wrongs" are you referring to? This is an all volunteer military, there is no draft. The husband signed on the dotted line voluntarily. He'll be medically compensated for the injuries – that's all the government owes him.
People live semi-normal lives all the time without glasses, so should you. Or how about you just get some reading glasses at the store, that should be good enough. Reading glasses work for my mom, so they should work for you. Glasses are not medically necessary you just want them. People live blind all around us, you should be lucky to be alive. That is your argument for this couple. It's silly. You deserve to have your glasses and for this couple if they want to have a family they should be able to. He gave this limbs and his ability to have children. If you gave up your limbs and your ability to reproduce you should get your glasses, oh wait, your argument is that you don't need them. For some adoption is the answer, but it's not for us to decide for this couple. Maybe they will adopt, but it's their choose, it's not for anyone else to decide. They should have all the options available to them. Period. Signed, military wife, mother of two, and surrogate mom.
But there is a HUGE difference in the cost of glasses, and IVF.! More especially when they are already trying to cut back on medical care for our veterans and retirees.
I can't see to walk, read, drive or cook a meal without glasses. So yes, I need them to lead my normal life. Otherwise, I might not see you and run over you. I don't need a child to live a normal life. I agree, this couple deserves to become parents. But there several ways to become a parent besides IVF. Perhaps the writer could choose an alternative way to become a parent. Such as adoption. Such as surrogacy. Such as a sperm donor. And while I do believe they should have all the options available to them, yes, I don't believe my tax dollars should pay for it. Period.
What a lot of guest seem to forget is that adoption cost quite a bit of money too. Some people can find out they can not conceive and be fine with it. Some can’t. Some can convince themself they’re ok with it but they’re really not. Unless, you’ve been in a doctor’s office hearing those words you have no idea of the heartbreak someone feels. When you can’t conceive a child the good ole fashion way, all other options cost a lot of money… While I feel this young woman’s pain 100% I don’t feel tricare should cover the cost of IVF. What I think they should do is help couples find programs that give income based grants and other resources. I also think tricare should is allow patients who have been through the process and have found a doctor they are comfortable to use that doctor again if needed no matter what region they are in if they are enrolled in tricare prime… If the reader happens to read this comment I highly recommend looking into CNY Fertility in Syracuse, Ny. They now offer 100% in house financing. You’re biggest cost will be the meds and you’ll have to cover your own lab work if your insurance doesn’t cover it. The cost for the IVF is the most reasonable I’ve found but with lab work and meds not being covered its still expensive, however you’re able to stagger the cost and I’m pretty sure the 100% financing is interest free. They are fantastic and empathetic. They’re professional and great at what they do without being cold and clinical. Good luck!
The point I am trying to make is not the cost, but the reasoning or logic behind why IVF is paid for or not. The point is all vets should have all of these benefits without haggle or waiting or teeth pulling. And no you do NOT need glasses to live a normal life it just makes it easier. Like I said before lots of people live blind everyday, they just don't drive. People adapt just fine learning to eat, read or cook meals without glasses. Again the point is no one deserves to live that way. Also, from my own personal experience surrogacy is most costly than IVF, with surrogacy the intended parents pay for the surrogate to receive IVF. My intended parents had to pay for not only their IVF (so I could receive their healthy embryos), my medical insurance, physc evaluations, my life insurance, all my fees to go to the fertility clinic, all my needs for clothes, childcare, attorney's, airline tickets and so much more. My intended parents paid over $250K before even getting to where they are today. IVF was 25K of that. Adoption can sometimes be costly and there is no guarantee that when you go through the foster system you will find a child that you are able to adopt the process is not quick or easy. Also, they might not find a child that fits into their family. Adoption and foster children are not for everyone and we shouldn't force them into this option because it's cheaper for you. Think about how the adopted child would feel knowing that they were a second choice if these parents didn't want to go this route. So, again since you need prescription glasses should I just give you reading glasses from Walmart since it's cheaper for you. Oh, wait she pays taxes too! It's her money too. Also, did you make the same sacrifices they did? Yes, they know going into it that bad things can happen that doesn't mean that they we as a country shouldn't take care of them. Why even bother to pay them? I wouldn't want you to go without your glasses!!!
So without my glasses, I will stop driving and then rely on taxpayer funded social services to get me to and from the places I need to go. Better yet, I'll use taxpayer funded services to hire someone to go everywhere and do everything for me instead. Wait, even better … since I'm living blind, and I don't move around much, I'm sure there will be other medical problems down the road caused by accidents I may have (because I can't see) or other complications. I'm an active duty spouse … surely I DESERVE to have the tax payers PAY to provide transportation for me because I don't have glasses. Better yet, don't I DESERVE to have the taxpayers pay for someone to just grocery shop and cook for me? And don't I deserve to have all my extra medical bills paid for because of the complications that will surely arise from not being able to see? Um, no. I do not need taxpayer funded assistance to transport me or hire someone to help me because I can't see. Why? Because I pay for my own glasses and have absolutely no problem doing so. One simple thing … a pair of proper glasses … can prevent the need for so many other problems. And as for the adopted child feeling that they were "a second choice"? You have got to be kidding me. Good parents will love an adopted child unconditionally and never make him/her feel like a second choice … UNLESS they TELL the child that he/she was a "second choice". Who does that? The sense of entitlement that you seem to have is mind-boggling. Truly. I get that this family wants to have a child. I understand that. And I wish them the very best in trying to achieve that desire. Having a child is a CHOICE. It is not necessary (medically or otherwise) to have a child to live a normal life. Vets do not deserve to have IVF paid for because they choose to have a child. Having glasses is a choice. But it's a choice that I pay for myself, without asking for taxpayer assistance. I don't need Walmart glasses or taxpayer assistance because I choose to pay for my own glasses. IVF is not a "benefit". It's a procedure that costs a lot of money in order to support only the possibility of having a child, which is a choice that taxpayers should not fund.
My dear, Knikki…how old are you and what world do you live in? Your points are laregly those of a juvenile in a fantasy world. IVF is NOT a benefit. IVF is a luxury. It is NOT medically necessary to have a child to maintain life, limb or sight. Your comparison of "reading glasses" and IVF is laughable. Check this out….I remember when soldiers were guaranteed healthcare for the rest of their lives after retirement, but alas, after 26 years of service and numerous deployments we are paying for Tricare. We do the best with what we have. Shame on the self serving, attention seeking spouses that plague these pages and show the rest of us to be weak and selfish!
Actually missy, if you're eligible for Tricare then the base WILL make you 1 pair of glasses a year. Granted they're the standard BC glasses that are issued.
TRICARE covers contact lenses and/or eyeglasses only for treatment of:
Infantile glaucoma
Corneal or scleral lenses for treatment of keratoconus
Scleral lenses to retain moisture when normal tearing is not present or is inadequate
Corneal or scleral lenses to reduce corneal irregularities other than astigmatism
Intraocular lenses, contact lenses, or eyeglasses for loss of human lens function resulting from intraocular surgery, ocular injury or congenital absence
"Pinhole" glasses prescribed for use after surgery for detached retina
just adopt. We did, twice and we feel that it was a way to "give back". Our kids thank us over & over. They are truly our kids & it was God's plan.
Wait a minute! I have for years apparently been under the "mis-information" that the VA hospital – operated by the Department of Veterans' Affairs – is there to take care of our MILITARY VETERANS — and that it is not the mission of the VA Hospital to fund pregnancies (natural or invitro) for spouses of veterans. I can and do understand the disappointment of the veteran and his wife over the loss of ability to have children. Alas, my understanding remains — invitro fertilization should NOT be covered as part of veterans' health care. We have thousands of veterans returning home from combat who are unable (or at least significantly delayed) to have their claims reviewed and receive medical assistance – yet here is a woman complaining that the VA won't provide her invitro. Get real Lady! I'm a 28-year vet and can't get the VA to even authorize me medical service OR get hearing aids! Sounds to me like this woman is just another of the Gimme Generation, which has helped run us into the trillions of indebtedness. Since when should spouses get VA help with elective care – and veterans be denied? No wonder the VA has no money!
you are a vet but not combat I'm guessing and spent your 28 years at a desk or in kuwait I bet…..but complaining that you should get more than this vet who lost legs and groin ……your generation is in charge of this mess and that is who you need to blame for the lack of funds…..since you are up there pretty high you probably stole some of them!!!
Wow. Incredible. Did you really just disrespect a 28 year vet? No wonder our elderly generation is incredibly abused, because of people like you.
First of all, it doesn’t matter what his job was.. Be it sitting behind a desk or something YOU deem worthy, he served his time, and then some. You’re disgusting. He’s asking for basic medical services and a hearing aid, not the world. My father was 73 years old, served in 3 different branches, a purple heart recipient with 4 clusters, but it was a fight to get proper care for him at the VA.
I sympathize with the author of this piece but I firmly believe that those who require basic services should be taken care of FIRST before “extra” services are offered and approved for things like infertility.
yes I do disrespect people who are willing to complain for things when they haven't done any real work…someone who sits at a desk in the military might as well be at the BMV in my opinion..you join the military to fight if there is a war and with the wars we've had the last 10 years there has been plenty of opportunity but instead many have sat with their cowardly heads down and watched while others go 3 or 4 or more times and then complain about the expense…..the vet with no legs or no mind is who I respect ….. …i respect my elders…the WWII generation and the Vietnam vets who did their part for their country….this guy would be say 46-48 and didn't do much is my guess from the sounds of him…..
not to mention they don't cover hearing aids to people in the 50 and younger age group because they have provided ear plugs for the last 20 years so if you are an idiot and didn't use them that is your issue….
and if he has 28 years in and is old he should be covered by medicare and military medical and doesn't need the VA…so moot point!!! I think he's not even who he says he is because if he was a sgt major and that much time in he would have his whatever he needs if it were necessary for him ……leave the VA to the poor guys who didn't retire with all those benefits…..
Right on! Applause, applause, applause. As Abraham Lincoln stated, "……to care for him who bore the brundt of battle, his widow, and his orphan……." Even in 2009, the HRes bill 261 also stated, "…….the Department of Veterans Affairs should not retreat from it's responsibility to support those veterans with combat wounds or service connected disabilities".
It is illegal and downright disgusting when the V A does not uphold it's responsibilities to fully take care of those that has "born the brundt of battle" and were wounded, whatever the circumstance of the wound may be.
America, you have to wake up and smell the roses, and unfortunately, you have to now fight for the rights afforded you by law.
Wow, who cares what the guy did while he was in?. How the heck do you know what he did or didnt do while he was enlisted? I was only in for 6 years and used hearing protection EVERY DAY for my job and still ended up with hearing loss in my left ear. I WAS hurt in a combat zone and am not getting the help I need to reconstruct my ankle so I can walk again. Having children is not a necessity, it's a choice. The VA will help him with his heatlh and mental stability, but they won't do IVF. How dare you pass judgement on a vet when you yourself have probably never been enlisted. Shameful!
I need to let you know that my soldier "sat at a desk for 8 of his 26 years….If it wasn't for him and his team deployed soldiers WOULD NOT HAVE ANY COMMUNICATIONS!!!!!! Watch what you talk about! EVERY soldier serves for the whole! DON'T YOU DARE put down any soldier for the way they serve, unless they are a worthless bag of air and yes there are some of those as well!!!! SHAME ON YOU!
Jean,
Abraham Lincoln made a comment as this, and I quote: "……..the Department of Veterans Affairs should not retreat from it's responsibility to support those veterans with combat wounds or service connected disabilities……….to care for him who bore the brundt of battle, his widow, and his orphan………."
Lincoln's remarks does not state what injuries should be covered, but when a penis and a male's testicles are damaged and destroyed, I interpret that to mean a warrior will be cared for from the wounds the warrior received in battle.
Yes…she did. She is a disgrace to those who serve silently.
Most of you people out in la la land are missing the point! Because of the injury a military receives, he should have all, and I mean all, of his life given back to him that he can. I hate to say this 28 year Vet, but Abraham Lincoln did not say that a few things in way of injuries would be care for by the VA, but all things wrong with a wounded servicemen returning from war. The VA picks and chooses who they will give full treatment to and if a military person doesn't show up with a VA Military Representative when they ask for service, those persons will be delayed in getting the services they need, which may or may not include all the medical assistance they need.
Tell me something, la la land, which should now be called the Divided States of America, if one individual is given everything he or she needs due to injuries in war, and other's are not given anything, or even some of the medical necessities he/she needs, is that discrimination? And if it is discrimination, are there not laws against discrimination here within the United States when a person is disabled, and doesn't receive the medical services he or she needs?
Uncle Sam and his representatives speak with the forked tongue and does not follow the letter of the law, from the very beginning the first pilgrims started this joke of a nation to the world. Abraham Lincoln probably has turned over in his grave to what the mess of these Divided States has gotten itself involved in.
Agreed!
Can you imagine if sterility was classified as a disability? Do you have any idea how much it would cost you and I to ensure that everyone had not just one, but multiple babies? Because after all why would we make them stop at 1? This is NOT healthcare. Sorry, but you are the one in la la land.
Lady,
I am a Vietnam Vet, a Cold War Vet, and one hell of an advocate of people with disabilities. I not only volunteered for the Marine Corps, but I reenlisted for an additional three years during the Vietnam War and got overseas to the 3d Marine Division, the Reserve Division for the Vietnam War.
If you read the F N profile, you would read that the warrior was wounded in his testicles, thereby rendering him impotent to make babies. It is people with your attitude that doesn't give any feces about what is in the best interest of those that bare the brunt of battle, which means to you, was wounded in combat. When another warrior's leg or arms are blown off in combat, that warrior is compensated for any injuries and is made as whole as can be possible.
When one warrior's wounds are taken care of, and others are not, that is a disgrace to him and to all the other's that has served their country, by either volunteering as I did or being drafted.
At the tops of any war, only 3% consistently serve to protect dumb rectums like you, while the other 97% doesn't have the guts, the courage, or the will to serve their country with dignity, pride and zeal. If I am wrong, then I shall admit I am wrong, but believe me, lady, if the laws of this land are of such as you have it, then every Marine, soldier, sailor, air force, national guard, and coast guard, should not ever sign a piece of paper called an enlistment contract again. Why, because the inference that military recruiters give to young, innocent men and women is that they will be care for 100% if wounded in and on the battle and battlefield.
I've been in la la land now for 65 years, lady, and welcome to a poorly run and broken country! You helped it to be the way it is with your thinking and your attitude.
No wonder I feel about people like you and this la la country that now should be called the divided states of america! Because it certainly isn't united anymore as it once was.
If you have been reading my comments as well, you would know that I am commenting on warriors and their families that have been wounded, their lives have been shattered, like so many others, and not for the reason of HEALTHCARE for the general public.
How idiotic!
By the way lady, cost for repairing one's body that has been damaged and destroyed in combat, should not be considered for the services and duty that warrior and his family has sacrificed to this downright pitiful nation called united. Are you fully aware that even children with disabilities, cost is not considered when educational plans are made to render them all the services and individual needs any child with disabilities may need. If the law is you may think, I WILL ensure that it be changed through the court of this land.
If you think I am wrong on this one, look up the federal laws, rules and regulations for the education of students with disabilities. It is on the internet! For your information, it is called special education and please do be surprised when you and if ever you decide to "be all that you can be".
Again, welcome to la la land, because you certainly are a member of it!
The VA should be able to do both!!! Look at the bigger picture here. No vet should be put through what you or what this couple is going through. We need to hold everyone and every organization to a higher standard of care. Did it ever occur to anyone the reason this country is in such severe debt is not because of what the VA is paying for or not. Clearly according to everyone leaving comments, nothing is getting paid for. ALL vets should be treated better than they are. God bless them all.
Knikki,
It certainly is good to hear from one like you, with the proper respect to those that are not only willing whatever comes their way, but in sacrificing their lives too. When a penis or testicles are no longer functioning, due to combat wounds, that veteran should receive everything humanly possible to make him and his/her family whole, including IVF. There are disability laws of these Divided States of America that looks down on discrimination. And some of the idiot's comments on here show why many Vietnam vets are still struggling with their life styles, because they are hard core vets that emotionally say to themselves, I am not going to trust those mf''s any more.
Thank you knikki!
No. The debt of the VA to a disabled vet is to get them as healthy as possibly, not to attend to any further petty whims they might have.
Right on again, Knikki!
It is apparent by so many voting where we stand, in the negative, while advocating for our wounded warriors, because of their pocket books, being slimmer now than usual. What they, the idiot's of this nation, don't know, there are billions and billions of taxpayer's money going to waste by the administrators of school systems. And how many of these negative knowing citizens even realize this?
As I keep saying, Knikki, another one off to the slaughter house like the sheep, or off to the furnaces and pits, like the people of the Jewish faith.
knikki,
Apparently more of this nation would be users and abusers by the way they think, act, behave, and especially how they show their feelings about how their tax dollars are spent. They just don't get it!
But when federal and state dollars goes by the billions to special education, and is wasted just for the general principle by administrators to fight parents of children with disabilities, instead of granting parents request, you don't hear a peep out of them. Oh, I forgot, administrators wouldn't do that because they are professionals. Bull crap! Most of them are worse than the congress people at wasting tax payers money, and now are personally responsible for federal and state monies they receive, where one hell of a lot of money goes to other professionals as lawyers helping them fight the parents.
THIS! People aren't demanding IVF because they actually need it or deserve it (because they don't,) but because they're selfish, greedy narcissists. The governmentshould not, in any way, fund IVF.
I have mixed feelings on this. Tricare does not cover Invitro. They also do not cover chiropractic services and foot orthotics yet these services are covered for Only Active Duty Military because injures are sustained while on duty. So is it the military’s reaponsibilty to ensure you have a child? No.. Yet It is the responsibility of the Military to provide care for injuries you sustained on active duty? I believe personaly Yes. It is a Double edged sword. As a healthcare worker marred to a military man for over 22 years I have seen variouse coverage for medical services in regards to Medicaid. I DO feel If the Government igoing to contribute federal money to state Medicaid programs which in many states pay for infertility treatments, chiropractic services, foot orthotics, tummy tucks, breast lifts, airfare, taxi, and food expenses for the person on medicaid and a traveling companion, then why shouldn’t the Government pay for Military and their family members to receive the same servies. We deserve nothing less.
Robin, I can see where you are coming from and don't fully understand why medicaid insures receive more benefits. However my husband is active duty and when our youngest had issues when learning to walk we discovered that her left foot turned inwards. Not sure of the medical term. Tricare Prime covered all of our expense. They gave her foot orthotics that she had to wear daily (supplied through a third party) and paid in full the cost of physical therapy.
Maybe instead of opening the VA up to paying for all kinds of things, maybe Medicaid needs to cover basic health needs instead of infertility treatments, chiropractic services, tummy tucks, boob jobs, etc, etc.
I am also *kind of* torn on this. I think it majorly sucks in a lot of ways for people who want kids. However, it is not medically necessary to live with kids. My other thought is this: How do you know 100% that you would have been able to have kids prior to the injury? Millions of families struggle everyday with infertility and they have "normal" reproductive systems and have never been to war. So I guess you don't really know for sure if you would have had kids anyway. It sounds like the VA is paying for a lot of expensive medical equipment and services and I choose to believe that you are greatful for that. My heart goes out to people who want kids and can't have them but I don't think the VA should pay for this.
I am sorry for your loss. But have you stopped to think that God has allowed you the opportunity to be a blessing to a child who may have lost their mom and dad.(both parents) Take a mess and turn it into a blessing. Government will be glad to help you care for a child without its biological parents. Be that LIGHT AND GUIDE TO THAT HOMELESS CHILD. My girlfriend adopted a failure to thrive little girl and today that child is an OFFICER in the military–following her dad footsteps who retired from the Air Force after doing 23 years. Go in Faith!
Here's an idea. There are a lot of orphans in the US and other countries that would love to have parents. Try that route instead of using a procedure that may not work and cost the government $15K.
There's an idea! Just go to a store, and pick up an orhpan! Goodness gracious. Adoption cost MORE than IVF, and is a long, long HARD road.. Obviously you have no idea what you are even talking about.
You can adopt out of foster care for next to nothing in most states. Win win- one less kid in the system and two people who are able to become parents.
But, it is not the same thing as having your own flesh and blood out of two bodies, making one as part of a family. And especially if one of the military persons was wounded in combat, losing a penis or testicles. The government assists those warriors (some) that are wounded in combat, so why not assist couples that have wounded sexual organs as well? If they don't, it is discrimination!!!!!!!
I agree! Invitro IS NOT COVERED by ANY insurance company. It was your husband who decided to join up and defend his country and knew of the issues that could happen all at the same time. There are plenty of children out there that need homes with people like you who are wanting a child to love and take care for.
Signing up to serve your country doesn't come with a list of disclaimers of things that could happen to you. Yes, my spouse signed up for the military and yes, it's possible he could lose his life, limb, and/or any other number of bodily functions. That doesn't mean it stings any less and I don't believe it gives anyone a right to say "well, suck it up. you knew what you signed up for". Would you say that to anyone who was in deep depression and mourning about having lost a limb in service? Would you say that to any one of the wonderful people who run and participate in the Wounded Warrior program? Would you say that to the family of a military member who lost their life? I doubt it. What makes you think it's any better to spout the same junk online? Because you're anonymous? Grow a heart.
While invitro is not covered by insurance companies, that doesn't make the author's pain any less. I don't believe it should be covered, but that doesn't give me license to say such awful things.
In your argument then he doesn't even deserve a wheelchair because he knew what he was getting into. What BULLCRAP!!!!
Knikki,
Sounds like the responder should be made president — same old idiotic comments.
OK!, what about trying with the assistance of the government backing up their promises to do all they can to a military person wounded in combat? How about having a child that is fertilized in a female body, and sired with the sperm of her husband, whenever possible, with the assistance of that government that promised to take care of the military person, just to get them to sign the bottom line of the enlistment contract?
My legal question is, can the U. S. Government take care of all the medical needs of a wounded serviceman, and not put another wounded serviceman, in the best shape they can when they return to the United States.
The disability laws of this nation does not take into account the cost of medical services and needs that will repair a wounded warrior, but what is required to rebuild the wounded in as near a shape as they were prior to becoming disabled. Saying "no" in my book because of cost, is and I mean IS, discrimination. Wonder how much money the VA would like to spend, when millions of wounded servicemen start learning what the disabled laws of this country is, and filing legal complaints against the agency of the Divided States of America?
"The disability laws of this nation does not take into account the cost of medical services and needs that will repair a wounded warrior, but what is required to rebuild the wounded in as near a shape as they were prior to becoming disabled."
If the VA has a treatment for the wounded soldier's gonads such that they will function again so he can impregnate his wife naturally, then fine.
But it appears you haven't gotten the memo that me, Jane Q. Taxpayer, is BROKE.
You want to ask me to pony up the dough NOT for treatment for a wounded soldier's balls, but to get his wife preggers. That is not a medical treatment for HIS wounds. That is a medical treatment on HER. If SHE was injured in combat and lost her womb and ovaries, then we might treat that. But that's not the scenario here.
IVF is not a treatment for a wounded soldier's nuts. It is a treatment to get his perfectly functional wife pregnant with his sperm, if any. It is not a treatment that repairs an injury. It is a treatment that creates another one.
The last time I heard, there are 7 billion people on this planet. You want the BROKE taxpayers, in a time of a depression, to outright subsidize the creation of MORE humans that this planet does not need and you want to slap a medical treatment label on this farce? Don't think so and it is outrageous that you think we'd go for that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to have your own biological children and no one should feel bad for it!
This is not so much about Megan Zimmerman's circumstances but the VA as a whole. We are coddled and repaired with no expense spared while in service. Afterwards, the No deposit, no return mentality kicks in. The government is long on promises but AWOL when called to task. IVF is the tip of the iceberg of a plethora of problems. The nonadversarial system is good on paper and gets Sen. Sneakers elected again and again. In reality, its a hollow promise as all VA regulations are. I see this with lots of Vets who need liver transplants or outside treatment unavailable at VAMCs. Mrs. Zimmerman is discovering the hollow promise we all do when we try to cash in our chips. Read about it at http://asknod.wordpress.com/ . Its not some new phenomenon. They've been doing it since the War of 1812. Waging war is easy. The problem is nobody wants to clean up after the party. The repair order would obviously be to set aside sufficient assets to cover the collateral damage before starting. That might curb Congress' enthusiasm for the endeavor.
You're joking….right? "we are coddled and repaired with no expense spared while in service." Have you been injured while being a member of the USA armed services? Have you had a family member injured while being a member of the USA armed services??? If no expense was truly spared ALL of our injured members would be seen NOW not 6 months to a year after they get home!! And then there is the quality of service…truly, you have never been in the shoes of an injured or walked besided them while waiting and watching them die!!!!
I have to agree with Rquick and the others in line with that comment. I can't say that I understand the situation, but I do think the option to freeze sperm before deployments could be a good happy medium. Expecting the military to pay for invitro is a little too much. It's not their fault that you didn't have kids before you deployed. It's also not their responsibility to see to it that you are able to have children. Healthcare is there so that you can survive and be healthy as an individual, not as a procreator.
Yes, but the cost of storing frozen sperm and them implantation may quickly add up as well…
Brit,
Whether it is an eye shot out, an arm and a leg blown off, a foot amputated, or whatever. Do you really think that you can talk a sperm cell into an egg at anytime you desire to? Personally my wife and I went seven years before conceiving, so what makes you believe that anyone can become pregnant just prior to going into combat?
You, like others, are missing the freaking point about the government and the V A.
Yes, but then every spouse should have kids before their husbands deploy. Sometimes you don't even get enough time between getting notice of deployment and being able to physically get pregnant. Then how stressful for the spouse to be pregnant and without her husband. Not saying that women aren't capable just it should be about the family not what is best for the american pocketbook. And there is no one more american than one who has given his life to serve and does it willingly.
For there is no greater love than one to lay down his life for a friend.
Unfortunately like the idiot's that doesn't get it, are not to be considered friends and are of the makings of lost sheep to be scratched off of lists.
Oh Please – you think the government has money to waste on your husbands' sperms???? People are suffering. How about you go adopt a child since you want one so badly. Your husband chose to join the military no one forced him – you should have thought about freezing his sperm before he deployed. What about those women whose spouses died in combat before they even had a child – Im sure you don't hear them asking the military to provide them with a child.
Suck it up- You want a child so bad – stop adding to the already over populated population and go help a less fortunate family
Yes! She should just be glad her husband returned home.
Good advice Guest, but why doesn't all the younger people entering service these days, look at the reality of what the government and the V A doesn't do, after promising those young, healthy people within the Divided States of America, to join the military after promising them the world, ensuring if they are wounded in combat, all their needs will be taken care of?
Yes, and if you believe that, I think I can come up with several million servicemen, that have been shafted royally by the agencies in question. World War I vets, shafted; World War II vets, shafted; Korean War vets, shafted; Vietnam War vets, shafted; Iraq War vets, shafted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Need I say more?
That is such a heartless, rude thing to say, particularly when the soldier in question lost the natural ability to father a baby with his wife. I can't believe all this anger and judgement I'm reading in these comments. Sad indeed.
I obviously don't know all the details of your situation. However, artificial insemination (placing ejaculate into the vagina near the time of ovulation) is quite effective and far less expensive than IVF. Since you will need ejaculate other than your husband's anyway, why go through surgery and invasive procedures?
Tricare will pay for certain types of artificial insemination but you have to pay for the fertility drugs out of pocket, which is a much lower cost to you. If they pay for the fertility drugs then you must pay for the artificial insemination procedure. It is a double edge sword and you have to watch the wording to know what they will pay for and when. Unfortunately for us, artificial insemination did not work after numerous tries and IVF, which we couldn't afford, is our only option so having a child is only a dream but there are worse things in life than not being able to have a child so embrace what you have and live your life to the fullest!
The government won't pay for IVF (which I agree, it should not, sorry Meagan) and yet a court in MA has ordered the state to pay for the sex change operation of an inmate in for life on murder charges.
I thought the same exact same thing when I read this….If that case (sex change case) isn't appealed successfully, then no way should Tricare not cover IVF.
I am torn in general too on this… We do not know for sure either way if the husband's sperm was viable before the war injury or do we? If the war injury caused it for certain, then I think they should help them out in some way…because it did remove the function of part of his body….
You can get almost free plastic surgery from the mlitary if you're in the right location and willing to get on a waitlist. Most people don't NEED boob jobs but tax payers are paying for those so why shouldn't they pay for IVF so that injured soldiers can have children?
Jane, they only do non-medically necessary plastic surgery on a case-by-case basis. Simply because there are doctors who need to be trained and it could be months or years before a medically necessary case comes along. The patient does pay out of pocket (a hefty price in some cases) and there are lengthy waiting lists. It's not like anyone can just walk into a military hospital and ask for a free boob job. We (the taxpayers) pay a portion for a VERY small number of these surgeries so we have doctors who are trained and ready to perform the surgeries on those who need it.
And besides, would you really want a doctor in training to perform your nose job? Or boob job? Or any surgery, necessary or not? I think people who become guinea pigs to get a bigger a cup size would be better off having their head examined instead.
I can understand
How frustrating it is, and sad this situation is. But this is a volunteer military, these men and women volunteer to become GI soldiers and know at any given time can and will be deployed to war. That is their job, and a very brave one at that! However, it is not the governments responsibility to cover anything or everything for these
Soldiers. At the end of the day, joining the military should not be for pay, college or health care. It’s about protecting your country. My husband is in the Army And I have dealt with all kinds of frustrations by the army and Tri care, but he signed up for this during two wars, and I married him knowing the risk.
I have a frien going through this, she.cant gey pregnant so they are doing ivf. I also heard that they will do one round of ivf for you but there is a waitlist
After reading about half of these comments it really gets annoying mainly because a lot of people think that making the argument of volunteering to join is the excuse to suck it up. Does anyone ever think to consider that if they didn’t volunteer to fight for our freedom that there would be drafts. Then what would people be saying that they deserve because their loved one was injured while drafted.
Why should VA pay for a couple to have a kid? The government supported during and after the war and when he was injured. Why should anyone have to support you because you can’t have children? That was your choice to not have children previously and now that it’s not as easy you want someone to pave the way for you. I support veterans – healthy and disabled – but the government should not have to foot all of medical expenses starting with invitro until the baby is born.
Cassie,
How about the government saying that they will ensure the warrior is taken care of after being wounded, and then later, after being wounded, tell his family, no dice warrior, because it is too expensive?
Do you see anything wrong with that, or telling parents of children with disabilities, the school will not provide any services to severely disabled students because it is too costly. Is there anything wrong with the scenario that is given? Yes! discrimination!
That's not discrimination. In order for it to be discrimination they'd have to approve it for some, and not approve it for others. IVF isn't covered for anyone. Period. No one is telling this couple "no dice" on having a baby. They can try to have one by paying for IVF themselves.
Guest23,
When a warrior is wounded in combat and any part of the government takes care of that wounded warrior, but doesn't take care of all the appropriate needs of other warrior's medical needs to assist him or her back to as near a pre deployment condition as they were, Guest23, that IS discrimination, period. You are stuck on the government paying for a couple wanting a baby through IVF. You are so freaking blinded that you cannot see the forest for the trees. You have your opinions, I have mine, with some expertise in legal situations. Keep your opinions, I'll keep mine. Unfortunately you are heading to the end where the beasts are slaughtered, and you don't even know why!
"When a warrior is wounded in combat and any part of the government takes care of that wounded warrior, but doesn't take care of all the appropriate needs of other warrior's medical needs to assist him or her back to as near a pre deployment condition as they were, Guest23, that IS discrimination, period."
Except that IVF has a very low success rate – around 30% for women under 35 and it drops off sharply to around 12% if you are over 40. So you're not talking about 1 treatment per couple at $15K a pop, you're talking $35K, $40K, and up until they conceive.
The VA shouldn't be covering treatments that are known to be largely ineffective and/or experimental. This is just flushing tax money down the toilet for couples who fail to conceive through multiple rounds. And there isn't any way to put a cap on the number of treatments per couple or number of conceptions per couple without someone raising an objection. So as you can see this is not so much a medical treatment as a social one and not only is this irresponsible it is prohibitively expensive, and it's ridiculous to ask the taxpayers to subsidize this.
The Department of Defense has four facilities that provide infertility treatment, including IVF. These facilities are Walter Reed Army Hospital in Washington, Wilford Hall Medical Center in San Antonio, the Naval Medical Center in San Diego, and Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu. To participate in the program the patient must be Tricare eligible, and be referred by their regular health care provider to one of these medical centers’ gynecology clinics (these facilities do have waiting lists). Patients must pay for their own travel, lodging, medications, and embryologist and IVF coordinator fees. These expenses typically total between $2,500 and $3,650 ($2,700 to $5,600 when medication is included). Compared to the cost at most civilian facilities, which average around $15,000 per IVF cycle, this is a significant savings.
This is wonderful information, I have looked up online about what TriCare covers and what they don't. I can't say for sure what the VA pays or not, but this info wasn't on there. I am so glad to see that there is at least somewhere for these people to start looking for some help. I know that this topic has been quite heated, but this type of info is a way for this couple to get a step closer to their dream of a family.
As a girl who just went through IVF and Walter Reed, the number is more $6500 and up depending on what extra help you need in the treatment and then the cost of travel/lodging/food/etc. We spent about $10,000 total after paying for everything. So it was actually only a savings of about $3,000 compared to the IVF clinic in our area. But $3,000 is still quite a bit!
I understand both sides of the story but I am leaning more towards the side that says the VA should not be responsible. With the way our country's financial standing is right now I cannot even fathom them setting a precedent that the VA or any Federal/State funded health insurance would pay for a treatment such as IVF.
Yes, your husband was injured serving our country. But like other people have said, it was voluntary and it was you're choice (knowingly or unknowingly) to not have a child before he deployed. You're husband knew going into theater that it was a possibility that he would come home injured or even worse dead. You should count yourself lucky that your husband came back to you alive and be happy with that. Many couples can't have kids and it's not due to any type of injury. As hard as it is to grasp that you may never have kids through the natural process maybe there is a child out there already who could have a better life with you and your husband as its parents.
Jackie,
I guess you would agree to that if warrior's arms, legs, hands, feet, eyes, ears, fingers are destroyed in combat, you wouldn't desire to assist those warriors either, to regain what life they can. So, while you and the other 97% of this frigging Divided States of America, continues to sit on your duffs and saying let those dumb 3% stupid warriors continue to go off into combat and get destroyed, go for it. I guess you don't see anything wrong with that as well, do you?
A consistent 3% of Americans has always defended your right to sit back and say no to them, after sacrificing their mental status, physical status, and emotional status. You 97% of idiots just don't get it, do you?
Sorry maam but your husband knew what he was getting into before he enlisted. The Army or VA paying for soldiers or veterans make babies won't happen, and I'm replying you as an amputee myself, almost a triple amputee. You see, we get prosthetic legs from the Army because before we joined the military, we had limbs, and we were physically fit otherwise we won't be allowed to join. That's why the military brings us back to some level of operable health for us to be able to function in society. But on the other hand, no one knew whether your husband had sperm count problem prior to enlisting in the Army or not, and the burden of proof is on the soldier not the Army through evidence from his civilian medical records. Army paying soldiers to make babies is absolutely not part of soldiers' benefit package and I believe your husband was fully aware of that before he joined. However as a member of the severly wounded warriors myself, I wish you and your husband the best, that things will workout for you very soon. We will lobby congress till this particular bill is passed. Good Luck.
Contact information for these medical centers:
Naval Medical Center, San Diego, California http://www.nmcsd.med.navy.mil/service/services_view.cfm?...
619-524-6218
Tripler Army Medical Center, Honolulu, Hawaii http://www.tamc.amedd.army.mil/
808-433-2778
Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Washington, D.C. http://www.wramc.amedd.army.mil/departments/gyn/repro/
202-782-3360
Wilford Hall Medical Center, Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio, Texas http://www.sammcs.amedd.army.mil/clinics/in-vitro-fertil...
210-292-4016
Families who want to avoid the extra travel can research local options for fertility treatments. Some clinics offer their services at a discount to military families. The Sher Institutes for Reproductive Medicine, for instance, with locations across the country, offers a discounted payment program called the Military Access Plan (MAP). For more information visit haveababy.com/baby/index_baby.cfm?&city=local&page=fin_consid.
Walter Reed used to have an IVF program, and I think it may have moved to Bethesda-National Naval Medical Center, in 2010. It’s considerably cheaper than other programs and only for military/vets. Also, if you did do IVF, consider that a considerable part of the cost is tax deductible. It might be worth seeing a tax planner, because the effective cost is reduced by thousands if you plan right.
I have poly-cystic ovary syndrome. It is very hard for me to get pregnant to begin with. We have been dealing with our fertility clinic for almost 4 years now. I just recently became pregnant due to the hormone injections. All were paid for via Tricare. In vitro is beyond expensive and on top of that, there is no real guarantee. The author acts like there isn’t any other options for them. HELLO??!!! What about adoption? Military will help with that. There are so many kids and babies being born every minute of every day into a situation that could be made better by a loving and providing parents. I was adopted. I was born in S. Korea and became an American citizen when I was 2. I was given a better life because my birth mother wanted better for me than she could provide. God, sometimes I want to smack some of these authors and their selfishness.
The military will only reimburse you up to $2000 of the expensese and adoptions typically cost $10k-$30k. Adoption doesn't have any guarantees either and it can be devastating when an adoption falls through. International adoptions are becoming very difficult to get as most of the countries that used to allow kids to be adopted by families in the US are now only allowing adoptions within their own countries. Also, not everyone is cut out to be adoptive parents. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do that. Don't judge the author just because she and her husband want the opportunity to have a baby of their own.
You are speaking of infant adoptions. There are less expensive older child adoptions, and those don't typically "fall through", especially if the child has been in the system for awhile. My daughter was 8 when we adopted her. And how does it take a "special kind of person" to adopt? It just takes a little selflessness, patience and love. As for finances, IVF can have multiple rounds to achieve pregnancy, so in the end would be more expensive-by far-than adoption.
And the federal government will pretty much pay for the rest through refundable tax credits.
I'm with you Jennifer. PCOS isn't fun and when your spouse also has fertility issues….makes things worse.
There are many children in the world in need of adoption. If you can’t have you’re own, adopt one.
Well if there weren't so many roadblocks to adoption maybe more people would adopt.
There are plenty of roadblocks to getting pregnant via IVF, especially considering the pitiful rate of positive outcomes, and people are willing to go through that, and deal with the expense, which is much higher than adoption. The military does help couples adopt.
There are so many rectums in Congress, so why don't you adopt one of the worst within the crappy halls of Congress? I forgot, the majority in Congress are already sitting on theirs,like always, getting nothing completed.
CONCERNING THE YOUNG COUPLE WHO WANTED A CHILD. HE STEPPED ON AN IED WHICH DAMAGED HIM TESTICLE WISE. IT COST TOO MUCH MONEY FOR INVITRO FERTILIZATION. THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION: WHEN A SERVICEMAN GETS ORDERS TO GO INTO A COMBAT ZONE, THEN HE SHOULD HAVE HIS SPERM SAVED (FROZEN) JUST IN CASE HE DOESN'T MAKE IT BACK. THIS SHOULD BE MANDATORY FOR COUPLES WITHOUT CHILDREN ESPECIALLY. PLEASE, ITS JUST A THOUGHT. MY LATE HUSBAND RETIRED FROM AIR FORCE. THANKS SHIRLEY.
Most of these comments just make me sick to my stomach. I can tell a lot of people who have thrown out their opinions have never dealt with infertility, nor have they dealt with a wounded husband from battle. The pain of not having a child is something you honestly can't even fathom unless you have been through it. It can be downright devastating. And the "just adopt" comments are some of the worst things someone can say to someone suffering. Adoption isn't for everyone, nor is it cheap. As Karen stated, they do have a wonderful program through Walter Reed that has great success rates, but it still comes with a hefty price tag (about $6500 a try). I would much rather throw tax dollars at helping a military couple who lost their fertility through battle have one child, rather than helping the countless military spouses popping out several kids before the age of 23 because their healthcare is "free".
notsofast,
As a Vietnam vet that returned to what was the ugliest situation I could in America at the time, in 1965, there is no wonder that so many of us continue to walk the streets as we do, doing what we do, in order to survive — not trusting, not respecting the anus' of the Divided States of America. "sick to my stomach", is so right, from many of the messages read. If an arm is blown off of a warrior, an arm should be given the warrior. If a penis or a testicle, or testicles are damaged, the government owes that personal warrior the right to make him as whole as they can, whether it be IVF or whatever!
That you sob's is my bottom line, as well as the former President Abraham Lincoln. Anything else will be discriminatory, subject to the civil laws of these Divided States of America.
Several people on here do have a clue! One testicle, low to no sperm count, PCOS. 18 years of infertility, drugs being poked and prodded and in debt at the age of 23 just to have a baby of my own. I DO know that pain, those tears and that want. I sitll would never ask for the taxpayers to pay for anymore than what they did. In vitro was so very new when I was trying to conceive. Not enough information to be covered on insurances and I still don't know of any insurance that covers it. Freeze your sperm or adopt. My life dream, when I was 13, was to be a surrogate mother and was barely able to conceive my own children.
Abraham Lincoln's remarks relative to those wounded in battle and signing into law the Veterans Affairs Department:
"……..to care for him who bore the brundt of battle, his widow, and his orphan". House of Representative bill 261 also states, "…………the Department of Veterans Affairs should not retreat from it's responsibility to support those veterans with combat wounds or service connected disabilities".
See http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/111/hres261/text
Navigator, your's was caused by health issues, not by being wounded in battle. It's 2 completely different things. I am a military spouse who has suffered through infertility due to my own health issues as well and I paid out of pocket for our IVF. I never thought that I was entitled to people paying for us to get pregnant. But our servicemen who are wounded, we can't help them out? Haven't they already sacrificed enough??
There is nothing to say he was fertile to begin with! That is in my original post. They could've stored sperm prior to his going overseas as well.
I had PCOS my husband did not….I never said how he ended up with one testicle, either. The how, in my opinion, doesn't matter. I still stand by my statement that No , we should be expect the government to pay for IVF. It only takes 1 sperm to get through. I was just very very lucky that we had any kids. One of whom didn't live but a couple of days. The medical care we received didn't catch his defect….I didn't sue, either!
He gets medical care for his injuries, prosthetics, wheel chairs, etc. I just don't see how having children fits in that same category.
I do not feel the need for the va to cover the ivf. I mean it is a sad situation but that is a lot of money. 15k for a kid!!! No way. If they wouldn’t pay for a breast reduction for me because I have extreme back pain which is medically necessary. There are a lot of kids that need parents. Adopt!!!!
They will pay for a breast reduction. My friend is a military dependent and had it done at Tripler in Hawaii. You have to get on a waitlist. Talk to your PCM and they should be able to set you up with the referrals.
Lanna,
Thank our Lord, Jesus Christ, that your "feelings" are not regulatory!
Walter Reed used to have an IVF program for military/vets. It was operating as of 2010 but might have moved over to National Naval Med Center at Bethesda. It’s much cheaper than private programs. Worth looking into. Good luck!
I understand the frustration even though my husband was not injured I am unable to have children, because at 29 I had to have a hysterectomy I wanted a small family and it breaks my heart but I have done research and a wonderful thing that the military does offer is if you adopt a child they will reimburse some of your expenses… That is a wonderful blessing I am hoping that soon my husband and I will be able to start the adoption process and bring a beautiful baby into our family… I know its not like having your own I have fought with this for a couple years now but the military does offer a great opportunity if wanting to adopt…
I honestly have to say that I don't believe the military should cover IVF. Having a child is a CHOICE; it's not a right or a requirement. If it's your choice, it should come out of your pocket. My husband is in the Army and we are unable to have children due to a medical issue of mine but since we don't really want kids in the first place, it's a non-issue for us…however; even if we did want kids, it would be unrealistic of us to expect the military to pay. Adoption is always an option; there are many children out there who do not have homes of their own. Adopt one of them if you're so eager to be a parent. You sound like an extremely self-centered person who has a major sense of entitlement…grow up.
You are right, Lisa, regarding your case, but what about the case of a warrior who has lost a penis or his testicles in combat? What then? Would you continue to "say the military should not cover IVF?" The government does assist other veterans with their wounds, or at least should cover all the veterans with their wounds received in combat.
The military does help with adoptions. Just because you can’t have a biological child you can still have a family. Look into adopting a child and giving a child a home.
I do understand the frustration towards the VA about this issue since the soldier was fully capable of producing children prior to the injury. But, IVF is something that if passed by the VA, would cause an immense backlash in prior cases where it was denied and holdups on life or death cases that have to be reviewd as well. And there are many couples that would want more than one child and make multiple requests. If you are determined to have your own child, consider other avenues than the VA benefits. I grew up as a military child and am now a military wife. I was told as a teenager that it was unlikely for me to carry a child to term though I would be able to get pregnant. When my soldier and I discussed this with my doctor, we were told that Tricare would not fund any medical assistance if we wanted to have children. We understood that that was the way it was and did not press the issue because we knew that if we could not have children of our own we would be able to give one or two orphans a wonderful home and loving parents. Life isn’t always fair but even for people who could never have children the traditional way there is no funding. I have to say that I think there are more veterans who need care more. I know several veterans who are suffering every day because the VA has refused to pay for their care when it was caused by their military service. So, I’m sorry For your perdicament but I don’t feel that it is the VA’s responsibility.
Absolutely!!! You are so very right. Homelessness, jobelessness, medical issues, suicide. THESE are far more important. Let's take care of the lives we have, before creating new ones. (That goes for kids in the system, waiting for adopton, too.)
I don't think you fully get it, yet. Maybe a start, however. Making a wounded warrior whole again, after being wounded in combat, should be the priority, even when his penis and/or testicles are no longer present. And, if that young warrior and his wife desires to make a baby through other means, that should very well be afforded that couple as well. That warrior sacrificed himself and his health for 97% of this frigging nation. I do believe this couple not only has earned the right to request for and receive that which they ask, but to do it at government expense due to the nature of his injury as quickly as possible.
Having just undergone IVF at a military treatment facility (Walter Reed), I can say that the military does pay for some of the costs involved. We did pay about $7,000 out of pocket for just one cycle; the costs at a private facility would have been at least double that. I am really grateful for the military's assistance with that one shot we gave it. We were only able to afford it because of my husband's recent deployment and the extra pay we had saved up. He is active duty, so I'm not familiar with what the VA would cover. Because of your circumstance, perhaps you might still be able to go to an MTF near you that does IVF. As thankful as i am for the benefit of discounted IVF, I am in agreement with most folks here that IVF is not a medically necessary procedure and that it should be "free."
I know that many private fertility clinics do give significant discount for sperm storage of service members who are deploying, but I don't know if they'd do so for returning service men.
I'm sorry to hear your story. You're in a tough spot.
My daughter tried the IFV 5 times with no success then she and my son-in-law adopted a baby girl and a year later another baby girl. The first was adopted from Russia and the entire process was less than $20,000 and would have been cheaper but they both made two trips to Russia when they could have made one trip each and saved about $5,000. My graddaughter is now a healthy seven year old. Their second child was an American adoption and the total expense was less than $8,000 and she is now a healthy six year old.
In addition they were able to take advantage of an adoption tax deduction that acyually covered 2/3rd of the first adoption and almost all of the second.
I don't want to sound heartless or inconsiderate but. #1 just because your husband is in the military and serving our country does not give you the "entitlement" to a life time of "freebees". See that is just the problem with our society today and many children are being raised that way. If you work for a corporation, school district, government/county job you receive benefits, wonderful benefits while employed. Then when you retire you either pay for those benefits out of pocket or lose them. Why should the military be any different. Just like our congressmen and senators-did you know that with just serving one term in office they too get a lifetime of benefits without having to pay for them? another self-entitled group. very few insurance companies fully cover IVF, there is always out-of-pocket costs. I am sorry for your predicament and the heartache you are going thru, I know the primary thing is having a biological child, but sometimes adopting a child is the best reward you can get.
because if you lost both your legs and your groin at a regular job your employer would have to pay for it….sorry but are you an idiot?? and yes you are a heartless a@$hole…..probably a wife of someone with a desk job his whole life so you have no idea…ignorant witch…and if being in the military is such an entitlement why don't you join and quit complaining about what you don't get in life!!!
But his employer is paying for his loss of limbs. But it should not be paying for a choice they made prior to deployment. And personally it makes me sad that people call each other names without knowing the other’s situation. This is why we are considered the entitled generation, not wanting to show respect but demanding everything in return. We, as spouses of military men, must make sacrifices as well. As horrible as they may be. That is how we join the military.
The military DID pay for it, they paid to save his life from injuries that could easily have killed him and for all of his treatment and they continue to do so….it is not the militarys responsibility to get someone pregnant!
I’m active mil spouse and mother of 3 and i truly feel for Megan and her husband’s situation. However, i have to agree with several posts that the gov should not cover fertility needs for reasons: NONESSENTIAL for day to day living, COSTLY practice for only a possibility of success results, many GRAY AREAS such as how can one tell for certain that infertility is direct result of injury ( ie soldier and/or spouse may already have these difficulities prior to injuries), and so much $$ NEEDEDelsewhere (the is endless list not to mention debt). But again i really feel sorry for megan and her family.
His employer is paying for his loss of limbs. But it should not be paying for a choice they made prior to deployment. And personally it makes me sad that people call each other names without knowing the other’s situation. This is why we are considered the entitled generation, not wanting to show respect but demanding everything in return. We, as spouses of military men, must make sacrifices as well. As horrible as they may be.
Steph, it is indeed shameful that some, including me a times, gets caught up in reality, and sees the downright stupidity and ignorance that some of these freaking so called citizens of these divided states of america make. They apparently are looking at their own pockets and doesn't have the empathy nor the sympathy for those military personnel that are wounded in combat (where some lose their lives, not only their vision, their hearing, their arms, their legs, the feet, the fingers, their toes, and yes, even their genitals and other sex organs, causing them to be infertile.
Ninety-seven % of these so called grateful and so called citizens of these divided states of america have always left it to only 3% of the remaining citizenry to fight the battles of america. And then your see and hear remarks like, "Well they volunteered" to join, so let them pay for their own problems.
People continually say that, not realizing if it wasn't for the 3% that are willing to accept their fate in combat, what would have happened to America a long time ago, if it were not for that 3%.
These rectum citizenry should all, and I mean all, both men and women, be inducted into the military way of life and to be paid $65.00 every two weeks, like the junior men were paid for volunteering to go to war, only to be shunned, spit on, assaulted, cursed at when we returned home.
But his employer is paying for his loss of limbs. But it should not be paying for a choice they made prior to deployment. And personally it makes me sad that people call each other names without knowing the other’s situation. This is why we are considered the entitled generation, not wanting to show respect but demanding everything in return. We, as spouses of military men, must make sacrifices as well. As horrible as they may be.
My husband has been enlisted for 8 years. He has been deployed 4 times. The military didn’t make him enlist, he chose to knowing what the risks were.
My husband and I have 3 boys he is AD Marine.. there are procedures that can be done to extract sperm from your husband. They insert a needle in there and pull out your husbands sperm. The cost is roughly 3k but then you could have a biological child.
summer,
and in so doing, enlisting, he no doubt received a lot of "wonderful" things will be heading your way, even if you are wounded in combat. Well guess what, when your husband retires, expect the very same treatment that many veterans has received to date — empty promises, when they get out of service for whatever reason.
I don't think in vitro fertilization with some other man's sperm, not your husband's, should be covered by the military. However, I do think that prior to deployment in a war zone it should be covered for the wife to have frozen eggs fertilized by her pre-deployment husband.
PRESIDENT Obama is NOT a Muslim!!! Anybody that knows anything about the President, knows that. He also does NOT hate the military. He’s the President that brought our troops home from Iraq remember!!?? Leave it to the previous President and we would still be over there fighting, Osama bin Laden would still be alive, Qadaffi would still be recking havok, and the
The only "boob jobs" tricare covers are reductions. They won't even cover those unless it's a medical necessity. And I'm sorry, but unless you are walking around with chronic, debilitating pain from 36H breasts like I was, you have no idea how necessary the procedure is.
I definitely wasn't referring to reductions when I used the term boob job. I'm completely agree that reductions are medically necessary and I have several friends who have had them and have much improved lives as a result. It is possible to get breast augmentation through Tricare. I have known people who have gone and said that they had self-esteem issues because they had small breasts and they got bigger ones for free. Those are the boob jobs that the tax payers should not have to pay for.
Me too! :) I had my reduction in December of 2009. Completely paid for. I was having to do so much and spend so much time in physical therapy and everything before they submitted my packet for approval. I honestly always wore too small bras. I'd BUY 38DDD's but it would be WAY TOO SMAL and I'd spill out everywhere. I was probably more in the vicinity of a 40FFF. I'm a 36 C now:)
Oh my! So sorry for your loss.
You’ve got to think about what if, you can prove the infertility is due do the accident, can they prove it wasn’t . This problem may have been present since his birth and because your trying you found out
I’m sure that this is going to sound insensitive but who’s to say that your husband didn’t have infertility issues prior to his deployment and being injured. Were both of you tested for infertility issues prior to him leaving? If not, is it fair to have the VA pay for what might be a pre existing condition.
I can certainly understand how you feel (to an extent), my husband and I would also like to have children but have faced some infertility issues as well. Would I love for the military to pay for this, of course, but I also don’t expect it to come out of taxpayer dollars. Not knowing if this was a pre existing condition or the result of an injury, would it be fair for you to be “compensated” for IVF while others in the military who have infertility issues woud not be? Everyone wants exceptions to the rule but I think Tricare would be opening themselves up to big issues if they opened this up for one group of people and not others… Just a thought though.
I understand the want for a child, as well as the want to have one with your husband. However, I do not believe it is the military, Government, or tax payers responsibility to pay for the conception or storage of sperm/eggs during or after deployments.
I am retired military and my husband is still currently active duty, he is stationed in Korea while we are here in the states. We have 2 children whom though our selected medical plan tricare prime have had incredible medical coverage.
My questions to you are as follow.
Whom would be responsible for the payment of the storage of said sperm/eggs?
Who would preform the procedure of IVF?
If a female military member was injured during service and were unable to carry a child due to medical concerns, would the medical coverage, tricare, military, government and tax payers have to pay for a surrogate? As well as her care? (They would then be able to set guidelines as to who would be able to be your surrogate)
Not all military base are fully staffed with medical personal, they have to out source as well. Giving referrals to mental health professionals, referrals for most dependent care, OBGYN, etc. CONUS bases don't provide dental care for dependents so they are treated in public dental facilities.
If the OP was able to have the procedure done covered by VA or tricare, would this mean that the child would then be covered by VA or tircare?
If a military members sperm/eggs were frozen and payed for by the military how long after said members death would we have to store the specimen in the chance the spouse wanted to have a child? If the specimen was disposed of after some time would the military then owe the spouse some form of compensation?
These are just a few questions that should be brought to mind before making a decision as to if the military is responsible for your want for a family.
As a parent I hope that you are able to fulfill you dream to have children, however I do not think it is the military or any other government agencies responsibility to make this dream come true.
Oh one other point, was there a sperm count performed prior to the deployment that verifies that you were able to have children before you husbands unfortunate accident?
Another one off to the slaughter house, but doesn't understand why!
It is frustrating that tricare does not cover all the expenses of ivf. My husband and I have been though one cycle and are going to be starting our second next year. I consider us military to be blessed to have a huge discount compared to the rest of the country who may pay upwards of 50 k. I think it’s unreasonable to expect them to pay for all those costs for some and not for others. We save our money to have a family and I think it should be the same for all. We should all be happy that we get these services at all at such a cheap rate. There are thousands of military families trying to have babies and have to go through this. If you do some more research, you can find places with no waiting lists.
While I sympathize very much please for a moment consider the precedent this would set and could
lead to such a cost as to bankrupt the defense budget at sometime in the future. The defense part of the budget is one of the largest, if not the largest in the national budget. Also there are other far less expensive options as some people pointed out above.
I think Tricare need to pay for her IVF! They are young and didnt had time to have childrens. It wasnt our hero choice to be hurt in his groin and pretty sure he didnt want to loose bouth legs!! Is not his fault economy is bad now or, the cost of IVF is so high! The goverment need to assume the risk and pay!
Not to come off as insensitive, but I feel like you are acting pretty entitled. Your husband NEEDS his hospital stays and prosthetic legs, you do not NEED to have children. You want kids that bad? You can get a sperm donor, you can adopt the hundreds of children who have no one to love them, you can use a surrogate. There are so many things out there that you can do and I can't believe that you feel that the military/the taxpayers "owe" you IVF.
I'm kind of amazed by the degree of entitlement of this post. As many others have said, no one is owed the ability to have children by American taxpayers. Yes, the fact that you and your husband cannot have biological children sucks and I can understand the disappointment, but when someone joins the military they sign up for risks like this. Having children is not a life necessity and is not the government's responsibility. With the world being so overpopulated already and our government's deficit being what it is, I really can't believe someone would seriously write this.
Another one that can't see the forest for the trees.
It's rediculous to expect taxpayers to pay for IVF. Having a child is not the taxpayer's responsibility, it is yours. It is a choice. You "want" a child but surely don't "need" one like a double amputee needs legs, wheelchair, etc. Also, since your husband never had a sperm count before his tragety, you have no way of knowing if there is a direct cause/effect of the IED causing a groin injury. Many men with only one testicle father kids the natural way. Sorry, but in my opinion, you are way out of line.
I agree that our servicemen and veterans are entitled to anything and everything medically necessary, but having a child is NOT medically necessary.
Navy Wife,
You can't have your cake and eat it too! What about the warriors that have no children, go into a combat zone and into the battle and have his penis and his testicles blown off, not even married or has any children one iota.
Ya think a beautiful, sexy vivacious and beautiful, curvy woman is going to desire to hook up with him one day, knowing that she will never, ever get pregnant by any man that has received the disabilities the man has?
When a want-to-be warrior signs on the dotted line of the enlistment contract, he becomes the responsibility and the property of good old uncle sam. And guess who is required to make the wounded warrior as best they can, regardless of expense, i.e. IVF?
Of course there will be citizenry like above, but when a warrior is wounded in combat, good old uncle sam stands to run north, like some of the brave and wonderful leaders like we have now in congress and helps run the good old divided states of america.
I'll bet you one thing, those military recruiters are not all telling the youth of this forsaken country all that they should be telling the youngsters of america all the crap the government isn't doing for those that have fought long, hard, with great devotion for what use to be a great country, but now isn't worth the time and effort to defend. The citizenry of this country that cannot stand behind their warriors while in and on the battlefield, should continue to sit on their duffs and complain, complain, complain, and then keep on complaining.
You've shown us, with some of these posts what you think and how you respect those warriors that have sacrificed not only their bodies, for the bodies of their children, and future grand children as well.
May each of you that doesn't agree with me, rot in hell.
I read a lot of the comments people left here, too many for me to read all in one sitting right now, but most just don't seem to get it. You deserve to have the family you want. No you don't need a child to keep living, but you also don't need glasses, hearing aids, or even a wheelchair. But what crap! I am a surrogate mom for a couple who has had problems and the pain they went through is more than anyone can understand, even me. I tried to walk in their shoes, but it's too painful. I can't imagine what you are going through, don't give up, don't listen to most of these people. They have no idea the pain you two have gone through already and what you will go through to be a family. Most of these people need to have some compassion, understanding, and empathy. You don't have to adopt because these people think you should because it's cheaper and other people liked it. Those examples do not apply to you or your situation or point. Good luck to you, god bless you, and thank you for your service and sacrifice. Without it I wouldn't be holding my babies and writing to you now.
They "deserve" to have the family they want? No. I'm sorry. No one "deserves" anything. Where is it written that everyone/anyone "deserves" to have a family?
I completely agree with you Knikki!!!
You "deserve" to have the family you "want." Oh, if life were only so simple. Just like on MTV. Grow up. You don't get to have everything you want or deserve. It's part of life. Lots of couples have ZERO children, and manage to survive, have normal fulfilling lives and, shockingly, have happy marriages and lives. Having a baby (or babies) doesn't fix you or make your life complete. Seriously, kids, grow the heck up.
I agree, IVF should not be paid for her. What does not make sense to me is that Mrs. Zimmerman wants to carry a child, but the child still will not be her husband's biological child, should she have IVR. Come on now, Mrs. Zimmerman, your wish would not even produce the results you say you are after, and that is your husband's BIOLOGICAL child. Sheesh! I agree with the rest – adopt! Be thankful your husband came home and can still be a father.
Confusion doesn't come from our maker! Your iconic name applies to your words of so called wisdom.
There is a reason this couple is in the situation they are in. This reason is that it was part of God's plan. They should accept this and adopt a child that WAS born because of God's plan, instead of trying to produce results that THEY want for themselves. God spared this soldier's life so that he could choose to be a father by taking a child born elsewhere and giving that child a better life. This spouse should count her blessings and follow God's plan.
Attempting to prove a point here. Was it God's plan for JOB to lose all his children, his wife, his property, and everything else he had, with disease after disease, or was it satan's plan? Of course God allowed the plan to go forward, to prove His point about JOB.
I just find it unfair that Tricare pays for birth control to prevent a pregnancy but won't help with fertility treatment. Just my opinion. My husband and I are both struggling with infertility and the pain is overwhelming.
Adoption is very expensive too and out of reach for alot of peoplem,sadly.
I seriously hope you are joking….Tricare pays for birth control because if they didn't there would be even more military wives popping out kids. plus, it's WAY cheaper for them to pay for birth control then it is to pay medical on a kid.
The myth about adoption costing a lot is so disturbing, and probably one of the reasons our country continues to have so many children in foster care for far too long. As a person that has several adopted siblings, and has parents that have been foster parents for many years, I wish those without knowledge or experience would quit putting that misinformation out there. Yes, private adoption is very pricey. So, don't do private adoption if money is the concern! Take in foster children, that need homes anyway, and should they need a forever home, then adopt that child. All adoption legal fees are reimbursed, and in fact there are financial benefits–medically, with regards to taxes, and other post-adoptive assistance that your social worker will be happy to talk to you about. Please, those that are interested in adoption, stop taking the word of those that do not know about the financial cost of it. Please call your local child welfare services agency and begin to gain the correct information on your own. And those that like to propagate this myth of the costly adoption, without qualifying that you are speaking only of private adoption, please stop!
I also am amazed at all the mis-information out there regarding adoption! We adopted our son via private domestic adoption. Not only did the enire process (including the homestudy) take under 4 months, the tax credit covered reinbursed us for all of the adoption expenses. There are so many myths out there regarding adoption from people who have never experienced the joy of being an adoptive parent!!
Yes! Tax credits! There is so much help financially for this process!
My husband and I adopted our son. Our son is our "own" child.
Oh goodness! I am going to agree with the majority here! You, dear, knew the risks well before your husban deployed; as did he. I, being married to a veteran, having a military family, and being a mother, understand your frustration. However, the VA nor other government entities should be required to pay for you to conceive. Why wasn't thi discussed and executed before deployment? If financially it wasn't suitable, it's not the military's or government's fault. I can no longer have children and admit I want another one. I feel it's more 'knowing' I cannot have one, makes me want one more. I do not feel this is the end of your WANTING though. After this will come pregnancy coverage, birth and hospital coverage, medical coverage for the child, and social security because your husband can't work. Good Luck and God Bless your husband for his sacrifices. But this taxpayer doesn't want to foot every bill you FEEL you deserve because of your HUSBAND'S sacrifices.
Jean,
When a veteran loses an arm, a leg, a foot, an eye, an ear, or whatever, including a penis or testicles, in combat, then that veteran should be made as whole as any other veteran would be made whole under the circumstances. When a civilian signs his name on the dotted line of an enlistment contract, then they ARE the property of the Divides States of America. Accordingly, no matter what goes wrong with them in combat, the government's responsibility is to make that veteran and his family as whole as it can. In the case where a penis or testicles are damaged, shot off, blown off, etc., then the government not only has the duty to make that veteran whole, but has the duty to make him whole as quickly as possible.
What do you think would happen to enlistments, otherwise, if the government did not have the requirement to always make their veterans whole, when that word finally trickled down to the young, inexperienced men and women that continue to join the ranks of the 3% that protect the other 97% rectums of this country?
It amazes me how you say you understand her frustration when you never mentioned your husband being wounded in battle, nor the pain of not being able to have ANY children. Not being able to produce anymore than what you already have isn't even on the same playing field! Of course you can't empathize with the poor girl. Lord forbid if your husband had lost a limb, people told you that you KNEW what you signed up for. Give me a break!!!
My husband is suffering from his multiple deployments. TBI and PTSD, flat feet, and a screwed up back. He hasn’t and won’t be submitting those to VA for treatment or payment. He doesn’t feel others should miss out if he accepts the benefits of VA while worse cases need prior attention. They fixed her husband, to the best of their abilities, now she’s fighting for something for herself….not the soldier. Where and when is she going to stop sticking her hand out?? This is only the beginning with her it seems. God Bless the soldier who gave up so much to protect everyone.
My husband is suffering from his multiple deployments. TBI and PTSD, flat feet, and a screwed up back. He hasn’t and won’t be submitting those to VA for treatment or payment. He doesn’t feel others should miss out if he accepts the benefits of VA while worse cases need prior attention. They fixed her husband, to the best of their abilities, now she’s fighting for something for herself….not the soldier. Where and when is she going to stop sticking her hand out?? This is only the beginning, and this much…? God Bless, I will pray for them.
This is a symptom of a generation, or two, raised with the mentality of entitlement. They are not wiling, or even able, to see how their attitudes are founded in selfishness and, "if I want it, somebody should give it to me." As a soldier, I knew or should have known that the potential of serious injury, or death, is a fate I have chosen to accept by my service. Having children is not necessary to the function of living. There are many service connected injuries and disabilities for which there is no fix or cure, and no entitlement that can force the government or anyone else to come up with a fix or cure. The VA doesn't pay for my eyeglasses, without which I cannot see to read. That is potentially life threatening. Two pill bottles, one will trigger a deathly allergic reaction, the other will cure my headache. I can't read the labels. Yet the VA will not pay for my glasses. I will not die, nor is there a "right" to reproduce. Life deals each of us a hand that we must play. Sometimes it is not a good hand, and some will even call it unfair. Suck it up cupcake. Life isn't fair. It's up to you to face disappointments and challenges with the same level of honor and integrity that you displayed in battle. There are some things that just can't be fixed or replaced; eyes, ears… testicles. Stand up, take responsibility for your life and quit waiting for someone else to give you something. Move on.
I don’t think military should pay for it. I think you really should be thankful your husband made it home safely. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but adoption is a good choice since with the invetro the child wouldn’t be his biologically anyways.
Is loss of fertility covered under the same policy that pays a lump sum for loss of eyesight, limb, etc? I doubt it, but if so that money should be applied to the cost of IVF. However, why is IVF necessary? Intrauterine insemination (clinical turkey baster) should be all that is needed if all infertility is with the male and is a fraction the cost of IVF. It is even free at 4 military hospitals. If IVF is necessary due to a problem with the wife this has nothing to do with his injury and should not be a liability of the military.
You should contact your Congressman!
LOL,
and when the office of the Congressman gets your notice, he will send you back an already reply that has been preprogrammed in his or her computer, and signed by a machine, stating he is concerned about your problem and bla bla bla. Been there, done that, and received in the most part of the letter how well he is representing you in Congress, vote for me next election. See how great I am?
Oh yes, do that, this is an issue of epic proportion. Wow.
I dont know if I agree that in virto should be paid for by the military…. I understand that the military may be why you cant have a baby… but… its risky and expensive… our soliders are barely making enough money because the government is broke.. and whose to say everyone is supposed to have kids… Ive met many people that shouldnt have children…
Dear Megan,
I am an Army spouse who has been in the IVF business. There is a new company INVO Biosciences that is pending FDA clearance on a new IVF technique and its associated costs are greatly reduced. It would be nice to see the Military start a trial using this method. In other clinical trials it has had similar success to the current IVF methods. This procedure would make it more affordable for all couples.
You might want to visit the website… http://www.invobioscience.com
Shelley
A volunteer warrior, even though he is a volunteer, is not expected to have to pay a cost that will make him or her whole again, or as whole as someone can be, regarding the received injuries in a combat zone. If an arm is taken off by a bomb blast, then give the warrior a new arm. If a warrior receives injuries that does not make him as whole as he was, prior to going into combat, then the government should pay for anything that will make him as whole as he can, including paying for an IVF under the circumstances.
Megan,
I empathize with your plight to become parents. I went through 18 years of infertility treatments, from testing to artificial insemination-all of these were covered under TriCare. We stopped at in vitro because we couldn’t afford the cost. The medications alone had already put us $20,000.00 in debt at 24 years old-and that is over and above what TriCare did cover. While having children is your hearts greatest desire, it’s not a guarantee that he was fertile to begin with and isn’t part of the indoc physical he took. Maybe he never was, would that be the fault of the military, then? Or better yet, his parents? Sorry to be so blunt. When we hit that financial wall, we started filling out adoption paperwork to start getting on that long wait-list. By the grace of God, one sperm made it through and found it’s egg and we had a child. My husband also has one testicle and low to almost no sperm count. We got lucky 2 more times over 15 year span. Wasn’t the way we wanted to have kids, but it was the way he did have them. Maybe a better fight is freezing sperm before deployment and up to 1 year after return. But again, that should not be on the taxpayers ticket. We already pay for the military wages, the medical treatment, facilities and equipment for all those who need it. My husband is retired now and our children are almost grown. After everything we went through, I could never ask the taxpayers to pay for in vitro. There are sooo many babies about there that would love a forever family. I do wish you all the luck in the world in your quest.
I don't want to sound hard hearted but when my husband went in the military 1953 he was single and 17 years old. The military didn't care if you had a wife much less children. The old saying was" If the military wanted you to have a wife they would issue you one". This is true. Wives now get more benefits than before but this is a job for the man or woman and they are paid for that job. They know they are in danger and get compensated for it. It is NOT the military's responsability if you don't have children. My husband is 100% disabled and the VA takes wonderful care of him
Be thankful for what you do get and don't look a gift horse in the mouth. There are lot's of children down south that really need loving parents. Think about going that route. Those children love with all their hearts just to have someone to love them.
Donna,
You are more than lucky, you are fortunate to have a husband at your age, and no less fortunate that your husband is taken "wonderful care of him" by the V A. For every veteran that is wonderfully taken of, how many other thousands that are not?
Your experience is wonderful to say the least. My experience as a Vietnam Veteran, from the very beginning of my contact with the agency has been quite different. Experience is the best teacher of them all. I really cannot fully tell you what I would like to do with all the members of the V A team, but it would be the opposite of sending all of them to heaven.
Just wondering!
Semper Fidelis
People keep talking about freezing sperm etc prior to deployment however no one has discussed legal issues. There was case after 9/11 of mom attempting to get benefits for her child but judge said there was no proof he was father. The wife is speaking on behalf of husband. Who’s to say this is his wish also? Gov’t should not have to pay as this could be pre-existing condition.
Why do people think they are entitled to things? I'm sorry for your situation, I suffer from PCOS and have fertility issues myself but would never expect the military to pay for it. Even most private insurance companies do not pay for IVF. I agree with the military not paying for it, it's an expense that is not medically necessary. Good luck to you.
Rachel,
Have you, your husband, a relative, a friend ever been in the military and especially in combat where they were wounded? If no one close to you has never been in the military and a war, I hope and pray that one day you will also have the same experience that many of us veterans have experienced with the V A, and I would also hope that you were not a mother, and your husband had to go into combat in a war zone. I further would hope that your husband would have his family jewels blown off so that you would have a little empathy and sympathy for the couple in question.
When your man doesn't have all his necessary equipment, that part of your pleasure in life will be forever gone, if you are an abiding Christian. Just think, into your elderly years without your own children and grand children. How pleasant a thought for you and something to look forward to for you!
My husband is actively serving. Once again, my stance still stands that I don't think the military should pay for IVF. I don't have children due to fertility issues but recognize many other options available to me as this woman and her husband have as well. Doesn't make me a horrible person nor does Christianity have anything to do with this, sorry not sorry.
This woman has my sympathy but I am not at all in agreement. It's not the government's responsibility to help anyone have children. Most private insurance doesn't cover IVF either. How does she even know for sure that her husband could have children before his injury? Children are not necessary for a full life. I am sure there are many other spouses whose husbands have been KIA that would love to be in this woman's predicament. Instead their husband/wife is gone forever. Maybe it's time she starts focusing on what she does have, instead of what she doesn't. Adoption is always an option (unless this couples chooses against it, in which case that's on them), as is paying for IVF on their own. The option of having a child isn't being taken away but anyone or anything but her stubbornness to pay and self entitled attitude.
It is frustrating that tricare does not cover all the expenses of ivf. My husband and I have been though one cycle and are going to be starting our second next year. I consider us military to be blessed to have a huge discount compared to the rest of the country who may pay upwards of 50 k. I think it's unreasonable to expect them to pay for all those costs for some and not for others. We save our money to have a family and I think it should be the same for all. We should all be happy that we get these services at all at such a cheap rate. There are thousands of military families trying to have babies and have to go through this. If you do some more research, you can find places with no waiting lists.
This is just a selfish expectation, to want the VA to pay for IVF. Do you know how many Vets are out there waiting for more important procedures and assistance and can’t get them or have to wait forever? This is an important event for you and your family so that’s who should foot the bill. I don’t want to work everyday and have my tax dollars be distributed to suit personal needs like IVF. If wanting a child is the issue, there are plenty of wonderful children being placed in foster care daily due to no cause of their own. They need a homes. This is not a priority, especially with the number of wounded warriors that are flowing into the VA for all types of medical, mental and social assistance. I hope something works out for this family to aquire children, but surely not with funds from the VA nor the Government.
Gee, the guy retired from the military, gets 100 % compensatation from the VA, plus he could get a couple more thousand because of the severe disability and she could also get around 3 thousand as a caregiver if required, all medicine and care free and on top of that he could receive around 2 thousand from social security. I am sure is the wife can work and help pay for this theirselves instead of the taxpayers paying.
The only reason for IVF in this case is for intracytoplasmic sperm injection, where non-viable sperm (a sperm incapable of penetrating the wall of the ovum on its own) is injected into an egg. To begin with, this procedure has a lower chance of producing a viable pregnancy than even "conventional" IVF, and even if a viable pregnancy results, it causes at least a 10% chance of severe birth defects. I really think these factors should be taken into consideration in this discussion too.
YOU THINK THATS SOMETHING I HAD TO HAVE A TRIPLE BYPASS ABD THE VA WOULD NOT PAY
FOR THE ANESTESIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My opinion is strange on this as I do not believe anyone has looked at this concern. What happens if you divorce? Who is then responsible, especially if his sperm is not viable? Is the government going to have to pay child support? Well no. However this thought should be considered.
Let me start by saying that I get extremely annoyed when people start griping about how insurance doesn't cover fertility treatment. It would be great if they did, but having children is not a medical necessity. I don't want my health insurance to triple in cost because they decided to cover fertility treatments. It would be great if fertility treatments were cheap, but they're not, so they're not covered.
With that said, wounded warriors with fertility problems are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITUATION. Their fertility problems are not caused by their age, lifestyle choices, or even genetics. They sacrificed their fertility for their country, no differently then they sacrificed their legs. We offer facial reconstructive surgery to our veterans who have been burned, not because it's cheap or medically necessary, but because they made a sacrifice for their country and it's our job to try and give them the best treatment available to help them live a normal life. It only seems like the right thing to do to pay for x amount of fertility treatments and/or x amount towards adoption. And may I say I am very grateful for our many soldiers who have made great sacrifices for our country. The author's husband's injuries sound very painful and anyone who calls a wounded warrior's wife that is trying to make the best of a difficult situation "selfish" needs to think before they speak.
Except we aren't paying for a wounded warriors fertility treatment…the story is about paying for his WIFE's. IVF at their stage is her getting impregnated by ANOTHER man's sperm….not her husbands since his sperm cannot produce children.
The military should put something in place where a male member can freeze his sperm prior to deployment when he get his physicals to get cleared for the deployment, and if a military member/family wants to participate, they can have this as a choice in case a tragedy or unfortunate case. Now there are bases that perform pregnancy services for a discounted prices than the normal market. But continue to stand up for your rights, so something can be done so in the future, so other couples do not have to go through this.
Or adoption like everyone else said
Merci,
The divided states of america desires to use and abuse those that has the gonads to give america protection and to defend them. How's that for the show and tell? Most of the so called citizens of this god forsaken land (some of 97%) wants to have their cake and to eat it as well. You see, 3% consistency of the citizenry of this forsaken land of ours desire to sit back on their rectums, do nothing, and complain that the warriors that have fought hard, long, and consistent are getting too many benefits, again while they are sitting on their posteriors that do nothing but complain. That goes for the running bred to Canada and entry into college, just to wait out what was known as "The land and the War that God, forgot", i.e., Vietnam and the so called police action. I'll probably get scrapped over this post, but who cares!
In reply to all the "just go out and adopt" posts. If it were that easy,then there would be far fewer children needing homes. It is EXPENSIVE,whether domestic or international.
You are providing misinformation, sadly.
Between military and feds you get back almost the entire cost of the adoption…I had two friends do it and it cost them maaaybe 3k when all was said and done
I agree with Jennifer, my husband and I have been trying for 10 years. I have PCOS, plus additional auto immune disease and a partially closed fallopian tube. My odds of getting pregnant are about 5-10%. I felt sorry for myself for awhile and then realized that there are other options if you are smart enough to look. Walter Reed, Texas, Hawaii all cover IVF but YES there is a wait list. There is also adoption. With the military supporting both I don't feel as though I am losing the ability to bear children I am looking in a different direction. God closes a door but opens a window! Look outside the box for the answers you seek.
The US GOV is paying for an inmate to have a sex change in prison, 50,000 bill. My wife and I paid 25,000 for in vitro (twice) and it didn't work. This was before the military pid for this benefit. We adopted 2 boys, one a freshman, one a senior, both in college. There are many kids that need a family. We were blessed. I hope you find resolution to this.
Here is the article you are referring to, however this has not happened yet and is still in review.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/11/michelle…
BOSTON — Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick says his administration is reviewing a judge's ruling ordering state prison officials to pay for sex reassignment surgery for a transgender inmate.
Patrick said Monday no decision has been made on whether to appeal last week's decision by U.S. District Court Judge Mark Wolf, who ruled the surgery was medically necessary to treat Michelle Kosilek's "serious medical need."
Kosilek was born male but has received hormone treatments and lives as a woman in an all-male prison. He was named Robert when he was convicted of killing his wife in 1990 and is serving life in prison.
Patrick notes the ruling went against the state, which opposed the surgery. But the Democrat also calls the judge "thoughtful and scholarly" and says the state wants to fully evaluate the opinion before deciding what to do.
Stubby: 25K a pop (and it didn't work), what advice would you offer. I know two other couples who spent all of their savings, borrowed from family members, used every penny of their credit, and ended up further heartbroken and… without a baby. Sad. I'm confused why so many people find adoption so "offensive" when their are so many children waiting for homes.
Straight from the Tricare Prime website!
In-Vitro Fertilization
Not covered. See Infertility Treatment
Note: While TRICARE does not cover in vitro fertilization (IVF), there are four military treatment facilities (MTFs) where IVF medical training programs are conducted. Beneficiaries who participate in these programs will be responsible for all MTF costs.
Wilford Hall Medical Center in San Antonio, TX
Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu, HI
Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, MD
Naval Medical Center in San Diego, CA
Infertility Treatment
TRICARE covers diagnostic services for both men and women to identify physical illnesses or injuries to the reproductive system that may be the cause of infertility. Depending upon the diagnosis, certain therapies such as hormonal treatment, corrective surgery, antibiotics, administration of human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) or radiation therapy may be covered by TRICARE for both sexes.
TRICARE does not cover non-coital reproductive technologies such as artificial insemination, in-vitro fertilization or other types of assisted reproductive technology (ART) except under special circumstances for some severely wounded warriors.
Some Military Treatment Facilities may offer assisted reproductive technology services as part of their graduate medical education training programs. Your gynecologist, Primary Care Provider or Urologist is the best resource to provide you information about the locations of these MTFs and the services they have available. Severely Wounded Warriors should contact their respective Service for information on resources may be available to them.
Exclusions
Services related to non-coital reproductive technologies including but not limited to artificial insemination (including cost of donors and sperm banks)
In-vitro fertilization (IVF) and Gamete Intrafallopian Transfer (GIFT)
Reversal of surgical sterilization is not covered for either sex.
Last Modified:June 5, 2012
My husband is in the 82nd Airborne at Fort Bragg, as a spouse who is covered by Tricare Prime I believe it is the insured parties responsibility to know what your insurance covers.
I want to remind everyone….Serving in the United States military is 100% VOLUNTARY. THEY did not make our soldiers join and THEY are not responsible for ensuring we have children. Some of you should go back 25 years and see what we were able to muddle through with to get through our daily lives. The demands of todays soldiers and spouses are borderline ridiculous. More than likely if a man got a similar injury on a job in the civilian world, this would not be covered. But hey, let's demand more for our soldiers sacrifice. Tit for tat?….Little honor in that!!! Hooah!!!
Diana,
Three per cent of this nation has consistently volunteered to defend this nation, in spite of the fact they have the knowledge they may be wounded or killed in battle. The famous words of Lincoln ring true, and is still law of the land. I quote: "……..to care for him who bore the brundt of battle, his widow, and his orphan…..".
People seem not to be interested in the fact that once a warrior signs an enlistment contract, that person, whether he volunteered or not, becomes the responsibility of the U. S. Government, and has not only the duty, but the responsibility to ensure that member of the armed forces is rebuilt as near best they can be as when they enlisted, if wounded in combat — regardless of the cost in order to do so.
If a warrior's penis or testicles are shot off, blown off by bombs, or whatever, then I believe when the government is pushed or shoved into the direction of assisting the warrior to come up with a medical solution to their medical problem, caused by being wounded in combat, they may be forced into the very act. Warriors lose their genitals in combat, they receive a Purple Heart for that wound from the government, which signifies that wound to their body. Therefore since it is the government's responsibility and duty to care for any wounded soldier, to assist them back into the normal way of life as much as possible, for their sacrifice, it is the duty of that government agency to make any warrior as whole as possible, for placing that warrior in harm's way for bearing "the brundt of battle".
It is shameful that the V A along with the federal government treats their warriors the way they do, however, by shirking their responsibilities. The government desires to have the best warriors they can have, but doesn't do what they promise to have any person enlist in service.
Ok, there are a lot of insensitive people here. First, let me explain why IVF should be covered in this situation. In the authors case, there is no proof whether her husband could or could not have had a child. Regardless of which was the case, He should be 100% medically covered for all injuries and all possible injuries that might have occurred due to combat injuries. This soldier was injured and lost his limbs and part of his testicles. The military has no proof whether he was infertile before this injury occurred AND since they don't do regular testing it is the military's responsibility to cover costs for something that might have occurred due to those combat injuries. Of course, infertility costs should be based on a case by case basis. Someone who was already infertile before combat injuries should not be covered. Perhaps this should now be a test done regularly before sending soldiers to combat?
Those who claim they are vets and complain about not receiving their benefits yet are being selfish and impatient. We all know that soldiers and vets with disabilities should receive benefits, but who receives them first is the answer. I am sure they are grateful that they received their benefits but I can understand why they would be hurt and upset that not everything is covered. Those who are waiting for benefits, please be patient, there are soldiers who are worse off and need medical benefits immediately. Be happy that you arent on the top of the VA's long waiting list to receive benefits, because the would mean you are gravely injured and disabled and you will never live a normal life again.
Those who complain about not giving their tax payers money for this. Wow! You guys are awful. First of all you should study and see where your tax dollars are really going to!! Trust me, if even 2% more of our tax dollars were going to medical expenses rather than going to college dropouts, this poor spouse wouldn't even be complaining because the VA would actually have the money and the staff to provide all of us with the benefits we deserve, and in a timely manner too!
Of course, I forgot to mention that yes, there are many other methods of conceiving, but if IVF were her only choice for whatever the reason, this should be covered.
IVF is not a benefit. It is a luxury. Having a child is a choice. It is not medically necessary to have a child in order to lead a healthy, meaningful life. No one is required to have a child. Therefore, the VA is not required to help you become pregnant. You may really want a child, but the government is not required to help you make that happen. At the very least, you can investigate organizations out there that help veterans with things like this. They do exist. But you have to be willing to do the research. There are foundations, organizations, non-profits, etc. who can provide assistance, grants, loans, etc. But you are non entitled to have the government pay for you to become pregnant.
Megan,
Do not give up. I would write a letter to a number of IVF service providers to share your story and request a donation of services for your VET. Suggest that Military.com among other media outlets would love to highlight their generousity. You may be surprised that one of these medical centers might offer you this service significantly discounted or gratis. Good luck!
My fellow patriot and veteran, Joshua,
It is believed I am just as good a devoted patriot as you are! But, unlike you, when I observe what the Veterans Administration and the government has done to it's veterans, (as well as some of the citizenry of this country), unnecessarily I might add, lying to their warriors as the did (and still do), not obeying their own very laws they created to protect and fully care for the warriors 100% as they should, (but don't), then as a veteran, I have the gonads to speak out loud and clear what I see, what I know, and what I learn about the sorry government it has become.
As a veteran I take exception to what I see and learn about the government of this broken country with hopes that one day things will again change for the better.
Am I entitled to be outspoken for what I sacrificed as an active Marine and now a veteran? I believe yes!
And what I have seen and learned about the government is very, very discouraging, and has been so since I was a teenager. While the Constitution of these divided states still allows me a citizen, to do so, I shall and will do that, regardless of uninformed veterans apparently without the knowledge and wisdom as I have gained through years of experience. I shall and will continue to wake up the citizenry of these states to the full knowledge and experience regarding the treatment, or shall I see full lack of treatment some veterans experience regarding medical, psychological and emotional treatment. Unfortunately, most of the citizenry really doesn't care how the very people are treated, that not only defends this country, but defends them as well.
As a Vietnam Veteran that served in combat, I also believe I have earned the right to voice my opinions as well, and not to keep them shoved down into my emotional make-up. Am I angry — you had better believe I am for the government's lack of fully treating all (100%) veterans to 100% of the care we should receive. I will take every opportunity when it comes to me to voice every opinion I have, regardless how it makes you, or anyone else feels.
And yes, Joshua, I too am a proud serviceman, a proud Marine Corps Sergeant with the respect and admiration for not only how I served, but with the military decorum, pride and distinguished service to my God, to my Lord, to my country, to the Marine Corps, and especially to my squadron, VMO-6, which lost over 40 Marines during the Vietnam War, as well as 13 helicopters that cost approximately $500,000 each.
During my service I earned 17 military decorations and recognition for that service of seven years. And all of those seven years were served during the Vietnam War.
As far as ridiculing those that should be ridiculed, that is the way it should be, with "a do nothing Congress", that continues to be self-serving for themselves and not taking care of the public's business as it should. We should not be so ignorant to protect those that are so self-serving! We should, however, protect the Constitution, and I am not sure that too many citizens even cares to do that these days.
Thank you so kindly for voicing your opinions and for your invitation to leave the country for a third world country. America has changed since the days of our forefathers, for the worse, so since my blood line helped start and build this country to the greatness it once was, I decline your offer to leave this broken country, with hopes that one day it shall reclaim it's rightful place in the world — not as a leader, but as a distinguished country — it now is the laughing stock of the world.
The brokenness of this country comes from the selfishness, greed, and the arrogance of Congress. My alliance is not to Congress, but to the Federal Constitution of these states.
Ray
I know I'll be one of the gloom and doom voices here, but The VA and the military don't owe YOU anything and they sure don't owe you a baby. You are not less of a woman or wife without one. And you can adopt. Lots of folks do and forget that the children are adopted after a while. Bless someone else with what you now consider your "tragedy." Really, having a baby, carrying it in your own womb is hardly the end of the world (though at your age it probably feels very much that way). Life goes on. Your husband has bigger issues to deal with — should you two even be considering babies at this point? Seriously?! No, the VA doesn't owe you InVitro or anything else. You got your husband home alive. That's more than many spouses of previous conflicts can say. And at 5-15K a pop for InVitro the military would be well advised to spend that kind of $$$ elsewhere. I know you are in pain now and it seems like the end of the world, a tragedy, unfair, all of that, but in the grand scheme of life, it is minor.
Obviously, you are young and new to military life. Many marriages don't even survive severe combat injuries. I'd say wait a bit, give yourselves sometime and THEN worry about babies and your life together as parents.
Yellow Rose of T,
You been smelling the flowers, or something, for way too long! LOL
Really, Ray, how's that? Your one line nonsensical response was as good as NOTHING.
You blowing smoke up her a*s isn't helpful.
Megan,
A new life given between two people is so precious and a gift from God. Sometimes we cannot receive what we want and desire, according to God's plan for you and your family. We have to accept God's plan for us and our families, yet we do not know what that plan shall and will be, until His timing. What will be for you and your husband, shall be, according to His plan for your lives. We do not understand when or for what reason you are going through what has happened. Just maintain your faith, without wavering, and trust that He will provide.
As a Marine Corps Sergeant, Vietnam and Cold War Veteran, I sympathize and have great empathy for you and your husband, and the situation you find yourself in.
Please do not allow the so cold and negative remarks get to you found on here, because I have been fighting them for you. I expected no less idiocy from the ungrateful citizens of this land. A person bluntly informed me one day that the citizens of these divided states could care less about me, my military background and what I have experienced by the Veterans Administration since getting out of service. Unfortunately the negative remarks also shows me the individual that floored me with his remarks, apparently are so true.
This nation for the most part will be awakened one day, which will be way to late and then let us see how many calls upon the consistent 3% that are willing to die for the very people that seems to not care one iota what the experiences are for the brave, courageous and devoted people that continue to sit on their asses and complain about the cost of a procedure that will help a warrior regain a life he wanted for himself and family.
Do not be discouraged, which is easier said than done, but I am looking into this for you!
At this point, why would they cover IVF? If your husband is unable to have children, IVF would be getting you pregnant with someone else's sperm. I'm trying to understand why you would think it's the VA's responsibility to cover this for a military dependent? This would not be your husband's biological child. And reading your article … stated that YOU demanded a sperm test, why wasn't it your husband demanding the sperm test if it's something that you both equally wanted. I don't know your intent of the wording of this article, but it seems that you are more concerned about YOU getting pregnant not you and your husband having a child. If it's that important to you, I urge you to look into adoption, the military does give some reimbursement if you decide to go this route.
The VA doesn't cover it because it would require providing care to a dependent, the VA is for veterans only they don't provide any dependent care. This would open up a whole new class of services that the VA was not set up for and the line needs to be drawn somewhere. I already wait months for appointments as a category one patient vets don't need to ads dependents to that waiting line too.
And on top of that, the entire military health care system is trending toward LESS care for families and dependents, rather than more. That's why they call it TRICARE, TRY to GET CARE.
You obviously have never had your own private insurance….try paying 500 a month deductible JUST FOR YOU, with $100 copays for the OBGYN, 50 for regular doctors visits, 50 a visit for your PT, 150 a MONTH for birth control alone. I am SURE you will stop complaining about Tricare after that….If you are STILL unhappy…remember you can always pick up your own private insurance and leave Tricare as a secondary provider. My bet…you, like most military, and mil spouses, will come RUNNING back to the amazing coverage that Tricare offers…stop being ignorant and realize the situation of the average person around you.
Guest: OBVIOUSLY, you are wrong. I have had my own private insurance. And obviously YOU don't have tricare or you would think it's so fabulous. Amazing coverage? I can't get an appointment with my own PCM. Amazing coverage? They don't carry my necessary medications so I get to pay for those each month. Amazing coverage? In 10 years, they have not been able to diagnose my gastrointestinal problems and simply prescribe another "pill" as the solution. If you have a $500/month deductible YOU are the ignorant one. Your number for birth control is a joke. You are making it up as you go along. I work in the medical field. Try again "guest." And if you are an "average" person WHY are you even on a mil spouse board???
I have Tricare…it's AMAZING…been on it several years now. They've managed to diagnose a white count condition I've had for close to 10 years and had pretty much had every test known to man already done, including testing for luekemia and lupis…Tricare doc figured it out within 6 months. I've had back conditions for years after falling off a roof, never had any issue getting care or physical therapy…I've also never had to wait in the waiting room for more than 10 minutes for my appointment…my average wait time at a docs office was at least an hour on private insurance.
I worked for a small business before this, their plan was 500 a MONTH for me because we didn't have enough employees to "spread the risk" like larger corporations do…Yaz at that time was considered a non formulary drug so, 150 a MONTH for it, switching to a generic option, was not an option due to hormone sensitivities I have that made me very sick on those. As I said…if you dislike Tricare soooooo much. Feel free to go buy a private plan for your family, Tricare has stated that if you have other insurance they will slip to secondary coverage…then you can go out into the real world and deal with HMO's and PPO's and co pays, and yearly deductibles and prescription costs and long wait times, and limited lists of doctors, and medical billing errors, and the incredibly large bills you will get if you ever have an accident "out of network". Go for it…step into the real world, no one, except you, is stopping you from pursuing what you think is "better" coverage. Don't complain about it if your not willing to make a change.
The VA does cover IVF… for veterans. How do I know? I am a female vet with complications from my service experiencing issues with conception. My current treatments are covered and my IVF, should it come to that will be covered. Now my family is lucky in that both myself and my husband are eligible veterans in the VA system. Meaning both my medical expenses and his for the procedure are covered (expect for our agreed upon copay). However, if my husband were not a veteran (or an eligible veteran for that matter) the costs of his participation would not be covered. I am willing to wager that with the right conversation with the admins of your VA, they would cover his costs for the procedure. Also strict requirements for IVF are not silly. It is a highly invasive procedure and very expensive as you have noted. These guidelines are in place to ensure the best likelihood for success.
DocGay-I feel for you but I can't reach you,that is what the VA is saying to you.Good luck tring to get them too do anything like that for you.I signed up for VA benefits 2 years ago because of Agent Orange and I am getting no where with them.My problems are getting worst and no hope insight as of yet.It is the old waiting game they are playing with you.You are most likely the 1st one to ask for a baby through the VA.If it isn't in their rule book then you are SOOL(S**T OUT OF LUCK)Sorry but I do understand your problem and I wish you luck.De Oppresso Liber
Megan was fed incorrect information. A bill passed awhile ago to provide IVF to injured troops, with an amendment allowing for donor sperm passing last week. I am currently at Walter Reed with my own double amputee. Perhaps the urology clinic in San Antonio isn't as up-to-date as the one here.
99% of these comments are terrible. People have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, because the ones commenting have no idea what this is like. No. Idea. Megan's blog post was definitely emotional, but SpouseBuzz isn't about facts or presenting all the information- it's a blog site. I can't believe there are so many trolls on this site. Suffice it to say, I won't miss being an Army spouse.
Kat, the bill only passed the House I believe, it's never been signed into law.
The amendent is new, but since I've been here I haven't heard anything other than that the IVF will be covered. I could be mis-informed as to the means of how it is covered.
Under the proposed amendment yes, IVF could be covered. However, it is still a proposed amendment and hasn't been passed to law through all parts of government. Until it is, it's not covered.
Since my longer comment will probably not be approved due to being honest in my disgust with this post, I'll write something a bit shorter.
How dare you waste money belonging to disabled veterans who actually NEED care, from an organization and government that's already stretched to its limit, on your petty, selfish whims? IVF is a complete WASTE of money, and if you want such an elective procedure, you jolly well should pay for it yourself.
You clearly don't give a damn about what the solider lost when he was injured. Would you call HIM petty and selfish? He was fine before war. He is not fine now. If he could have a kid on his own, would you argue that it shouldn't be covered?
You're a terrible person. Just like the other commenters who clearly don't get it. May you never, ever know what this wounded warrior life is like, you ignorant troll.
You clearly don't give a damn about what a child has to go through with a combat vet for a parent. You are asking the taxpayers to give a traumatized veteran a child, and you want us to call that therapy. How utterly grotesque.
Julie is not a terrible person, but YOU are an overwhelmingly ignorant one. I know what wounded warrior life is like. And I am here to tell you that children should not be brought into it.
Here Here!! Statistically there is no saying this marriage will last until said "desperately wanted child" is 18. And if it ends in divorce…she will make out like a bandit while the ACTUAL VETERAN is left in the dust more than likely and the child lives with an abnormally large number of mental and emotional wounds!
Thank you, Julie. That was very well said.
WHY ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THE WOMAN AS IF HER HUSBAND WOULDN'T WANT A FAMILY OF HIS OWN?! Is HE selfish for wanting a family? Is he petty? Look him in the face- look at his amputations- and tell him that it's stupid he wants a family.
SpouseBuzz should be ashamed that it seems it can only attract trolls.
I'd be happy to tell him that to his face. I am the child of a combat vet. I am that potential baby. I don't really give an F about whether or not he "wants a family." That is not the question. The question is whether or not he would make a decent parent.
The answer is MAYBE and only if he gets years and years of therapy and is certified drug free. If he can sleep at night and hold a job then maybe. If he can hold onto friendships and his marriage then maybe. If he has no violence and anger issues then maybe. Combat wounds destroy not just physically but mentally and emotionally. They destroy families and they destroy children. I've seen it, I've lived with it my entire life.
You're only "angry" because you can't see past what YOU want. You can't see what effect your choices have on other people. You only see a "baby" and a "family" and think "oh how cuuute!" without knowing OR caring that that "baby" and "family" will bear the scars their parents leave on them – for the rest of their lives.
You think YOU'RE angry. You should meet my father and his son. Both the embodiment of anger. They are the legacy of Vietnam and now you only want to perpetuate the legacy of the middle east AT MY EXPENSE. You think that handing this couple another human being to raise will erase the scars of his combat. I'm here to tell you that it won't. It will only perpetuate them and you want ME to pay for that. HELL. NO.
Transgenerational Effects of Abusive Violence on the Children of Vietnam Combat Veterans http://www.springerlink.com/content/pp13274309203…
"Father’s PTSD may have long-term and long-lasting consequences on the child’s personality." http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC25258…
"Secondary Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD: (Not a defined mental disorder within the DSM-IV) occurs when a person has an indirect exposure to risk or trauma, resulting in many of the same symptoms as a full-blown diagnosis of PTSD." http://www.vietnow.com/pagesptsd/ptsdeggshells.ht…
And by the way, I forgot to add. My mother was married to my father for about fifteen years. They were together longer than that. Dealing with him and being abused by him left her in ruins. She never recovered even though they separated in 1988. His abuse left her with depression and PTSD of her own. She overdosed on prescription drugs in 2003.
The wounds of Vietnam destroyed my family. They killed my mother and my father will go soon in the same way.
All this talk about getting a combat vet's wife knocked up makes me almost physically ill. I support veterans having all of the therapy they can handle. All the prosthetics they need. All the glasses and contact lenses and vaccinations and surgeries and psychological counseling they need.
But a baby is not a prosthetic leg. A baby is a human being. Think about that. Take all the time you need.
Children are human beings in and of themselves. They are not treatment or therapy for someone else's medical issues regardless of how those issues came to be. What you all are talking about is the creation of another human being as if it were some kind of treatment for combat wounds. Let me assure you IT'S NOT.
I notice there isn't much being said about the child potentially being created, or the veteran who was injured. Let me tell you what SHOULD be being said.
I am the daughter of a combat veteran. My father was in two explosions in Vietnam. He did two tours and received two purple hearts and a bronze star, and a raging case of PTSD, TBI, and a lifelong addiction to opiates without which he cannot cope. First off, rather than worrying about whether or not you can get yourself knocked up, you SHOULD be worrying about whether or not your husband is receiving adequate treatment for the trauma of having been in combat. The issues that come along with having been in a combat-related explosion are absolutely *enormous*. They will affect your marriage and they will affect YOU. That should be your main and only concern right now, your marriage and his mental and physical health, full stop. The fact that you could even write an article like this makes me suspect you don't have the foggiest idea of the gravity of what it means to be in a relationship with a combat vet. His injury JUST happened. You are facing a lifetime of the repercussions of that. Trust me, Megan, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Secondly, I am here to tell you from personal experience that combat veterans do not make good parents. I am related to two of them. I assume I will be ripped apart for saying it, but I really don't care because it's true. I am an adult and have been on this planet for 35 years. Both my brothers and I now deal with lifelong trauma and emotional issues stemming from my father's horrific problems – his violence, his drug addiction, his anger, his sleep deprivation, inability to hold a job, inability to relate to others, his emotional absence. My grandparents on both sides had to step up and largely do the crap work of raising us because my father was too F*ed up to do it. I got to watch him shoot up, I got to watch him savage my mother, and now I get to watch him slowly kill himself with drugs. I can barely type this through the choking fog I see just thinking about it. I could go into more detail that would raise the hair on the back of your neck and make you $#it yourself about what it's like to grow up with a combat veteran, but I won't. Suffice it to say you need to think not once, not twice, but about a hundred times before you decide you want to have a baby with someone who has been severely traumatized in war. Because I am here to tell you that even though I am happy to be here, my father the combat vet should NEVER, EVER have become a parent. I still deal with him to this day and it is a cloud of misery that mars my happiness every single day, even though I love him I loathe him too. It has been HELL and it is HELL. That has been my experience. That has been the experience of so many others like me.
I hope they allow this post. I hope you read it. I hope you reconsider.
I am also the child of a combat veteran and I totally agree with LoveMyMSgt. I had to deal with my step father's alchoholism and PTSD. It was not a pretty childhood. I urge everyone to consider what LoveMyMSgt and I have to say before forcing any child to deal with circumstances they can neither understand nor control. I hope my post is also read and taken to heart.
I am shocked that there is such a debate going on here about whether IVF should be covered. Having a child is a choice, yes. Of course it is. But its also a choice that 90%+ American's make. I don't see having child as a choice akin to wearing or needing glasses, or whether to move, or whether to make another life decision. The term "biological clock" is out there for a reason! Yes, adoption is a wonderful, awesome thing and possibly will be the road that this couple ends up going down. But to not even give them the option to attempt to have a biological child because of injuries sustained due to fighting for our country? Even one round of IVF? To me, your testicles and sperm are another body part. If they will cover assistance and rehab and whatever is needed for other injuries, they should cover this as well. And for everyone discussing that the VA isn't covering enough–they should be covering everything else that a veteran needs as well! I cannot believe that people are stating that its a choice to have a child and thus the women should be looking elsewhere? Comparing being able to have your testicles and sperm to tricare covering dependent glasses? REALLY? There is NO comparison. If there is no money, then their is no money–I get it. But if SHOULD be covered. Is there money for it to be covered? Will it ultimately be covered? I don't know. But at the end of the day, it SHOULD be.
The fact that there are so many judgemental, unsupportive comments on here is shameful. Luckily there was a few on here offering good solutions, but outnumbered 10 to 1 by the petty comments saying this author is whining and wanting more than deserved. Take away your ability to have a biological child with your husband, add in a dash of a severely wounded husband, add all the stress of military life and the extreme amount of sacrifice, then we'll see how much you appreciate these comments.
Has to be a good reason why your bodies not good enough to have children……in no way shape or form should our military healthcare system pay for for IVF or any other means of getting someone pregnant, if it doesn't happen naturally, then, your not meant to procreate. Leave the money and the doctors for those veterans who really need them, not some whining, snot nosed wife who can't get pregnant and thinks adoption is beneath her…………
Okay here is the reason health care cost in the U.S. is skyrocketing. Having a child is a choice, and for example what if the spouse was infertile without the injuries he occurred; no one will ever know. Just because your husband can no longer help with giving you the required specimen for you to achieve a healthy pregnancy is really not the governments fault. His injuries could have happened in an accident coming home from work, or even another accident that was not related to his military career. Many couples are faced with no being able to have children, and they find other resources so they can achieve a child. The government should not be in the business of paying for child bearing services or abortion. These are personal choices which should be paid by the individuals who decide to have these services. I am sorry for you husband's injuries, and those injuries need to be addressed by Tri-Care; his life is the responsibility of the government to help and to make sure his life can become normal. A child does not make things normal like so many believe, it takes so much more when it comes to raising a child, and those needs should be paid by the parents not the government.
I do understand your pain. If you were injured while on active duty and in the line of duty, the military should pay for your injury and treatments. As far as infertility, they do pay for some treatments to help you concieve, but not IVF. Depending on the state you live in, you may be eligible with certain insurance.
The military pays for children concieved before and after you join the military so why not IVF to help some who had an injury that cause the infertility in the first place. If you were on a job and had an on-the-job injury and sued them, you would be able to claim your injury and be paid for it if the injury caused you not to be able to have children.
Some people who talk against paying for the IVF may have children already. Also, if the military can pay a veteran for pre-exiting conditions before theor military service, why not IVF when a soldier served his time and was injured on active duty? what is wrong with this picture? Also, pay for spouces and dependents not issued to you in the military??
Lovey Wright
They pay for gastic bypass surgery, hstorectomies, liposuction and tummy tucks, comsmetic boob jobs cy not because of masectomy for breast cancer women, reversal of a steralization method, surrogacy for can't carry a baby for women veterans and other surgeries that are not service connected??? Not medically necessary??
What's wrong with this picture?
BB