Dad PCSes, Mom Adopts Out Child


When Army Staff Sgt. Terry Achane was accepted into the Army’s Drill Sgt. school, he left his pregnant wife behind in Texas while he PCSed to South Carolina. The couple’s communication was, at the very least, not very good, and the pair gives conflicting stories about just how what happened next went down. But two things are clear:

First, the child’s mom and Achane’s wife, Tira Bland, “felt alone and abandoned.”  And, second, she put the baby up for adoption without his knowledge or consent.

When the couple finally connected over the phone four months after the birth (you can read all about the he-said, she-said here regarding why they didn’t talk while she was pregnant or afterwards), Achane was astounded to learn that his baby girl had born and given up for adoption. The law in Utah allows for adoptions in some instances without the father’s consent.

From the story:

Achane said he was dumbfounded by the news and called the Adoption Center of Choice that same day seeking information about his child, which they declined to provide. An attorney for the agency subsequently contacted Achane and asked him to consent to the adoption. He refused and intervened in the adoption proceeding the Freis initiated in July 2011, which culminated in a two-day hearing in October.

The adoptive parents, who are not affiliated with the military, have declined to return the baby to her biological dad. Achane and the adoptive family are now going through a legal fight, each claiming the best interest of the child.

But let’s focus on two things — first the mom, then the dad.

Since there’s no way to know what actually happened — whether Bland really was abandoned by Achane and feared that she would be left a single mom (something she said she had experienced in the past) like she says, or whether Achane was continuing to support and attempt to contact her, like he says — let’s just assume that Bland did, in fact, feel abandoned when Achane left to start their PCS, like she says.

First, as a commenter here and our friend Janine Boldren (very wisely) pointed out to us, there is no reason for any spouse to ever feel abandoned — at least financially. As an Army wife (they have since divorced), she had rights to housing help, parental support and more. Contacting his command would’ve been enough to get his forced assistance, if necessary.

But perhaps her feelings were more about emotional than financial abandonment. Who among us hasn’t felt just a little alone (whether rightfully or wrongly) during a long separation? Still, you have to wonder what she expected from a life as an Army wife. And adopting out their child without his consent wasn’t the right solution to those feelings.

Second, this case highlights a battle many servicemembers wage to maintain their parental rights over the course of PCS moves, deployments and TDYs. How do you make sure your kid’s caretaker stays within the law when you’re far away and not watching them? How can you make sure your wife doesn’t adopt out your children?

So tell us what you think. The father and the adoptive parents are now battling over who gets to keep the child, and the results could set some serious legal precedence with consequences for more than just military dads looking to make sure their children still belong to them when they get back.

Is the dad right to want his kid back? Is he right to expect his wife to wait for him regardless of their communication? Or was his wife’s reaction — feeling alone and trapped between choosing life as a single mom or adopting out her kid — reasonable?

About the Author

Amy Bushatz
Amy is the editor in chief of’s spouse and family blog A journalist by trade, Amy also covers spouse and family news for where she is the managing editor of spouse and family content. An Army wife and mother of two, Amy has been featured as a subject matter expert on, NPR, Fox News, NBC, CBS, ABC and BBC as well as in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post. Follow her on twitter @amybushatz.

302 Comments on "Dad PCSes, Mom Adopts Out Child"

  1. adoptive momma | January 7, 2013 at 8:44 am |

    As an adoptive mother, and the friend of an adoptive mother who had to give their child back to the birth parents after 8 years (long story), it makes me angry that this woman toyed with all these people's lives. The birth father is just trying to fix the situation, and the adoptive parents are just trying to move on with their lives. It is a terrible situation, and one that the state should not have allowed to happen. Thankfully the child is still relatively young, unlike my friend's child who was almost 9, so hopefully there won't be too much damage either way. Odds are the birth father will get his rights back, and I can only hope they do the transition slowly, instead of ripping that baby out of one home and throwing her into another. And hopefully the father will allow the adoptive parents some sort of visitation to help with closure for all involved. If the adoptive parents are allowed to keep the baby, hopefully they will allow visitation for the father.

    • Having adopted a child I can not even begin to understand how the adoptive parents are justifying to themselves that them keeping this baby girl is right. Isn't it suppose to be what's best for the baby not the adults. This guy didn't know! He has every right to his daughter. I completely understand they now love this baby as their own, but when there is this situation you do what's right and that's give the baby to her father. If they could work out something that would include both adoptive parents and father that would be great, but to keep her under these circumstances is just wrong. Mother should get jail time as this is a complete violation of fathers rights and false adoption, if not just for what she has done to these people and the adoption system. If he didn't pay child support he'd face jail time. I don't see why she should get to walk from the awful position she has put everyone in,most importantly that baby girl. But you are very right if father does get to have his daughter back I really hope someone has enough sense to do the transition slowly. This woman has really pissed me off I can't imagine how the father and adoptive parents must feel.

      • Romany_Reunited | January 13, 2013 at 7:40 am |

        Unfortunately, the would-be adoptive parents are dragging their feet on transition. They have defied the judge's orders a number of times. They seem to think that their deity has pre-ordained that they should adopt this child (read their blog) so they keep fighting.

    • well said!

  2. Pat Sutherland | January 7, 2013 at 8:49 am |

    Whether or not the wife has to wait for him is not the point here. The point is no one parent should be able to give up a child for adoption without the consent of the other parent. By all means in this case the father should be able to get his child back and should be able to do so without a huge court battle. There should be no question. The only thing that should be required is a DNA to prove that he is in fact the father. He should also want that.

    • mongolberry | January 7, 2013 at 9:25 pm |

      The law is probably in place to enable women to give children up for adoption when they either do not know the biological father or cannot find him, or if an unfit and unsupportive father chooses not to consent out of spite but does not support them.
      They are abusing a good law. :(

    • If the mother had asked the father, he would probably say NO. But was he willing 2 drop everything and try 2 solve their family problems? Also, be willing 2 b and active parent in the life of this baby? Or is he "I want this child, but I'm not willing 2 b there 4 her" kind of parent. Everyone wants 2 b a parent without parenting obligations. Anyone can b a parent if they have that mentality. He contacts the mother 4 mos. AFTER the child was born. Did he even think about this baby the whole time he was gone?

      • mongolberry | January 10, 2013 at 9:28 am |

        I'm not sure you are a military spouse, Terry, otherwise you'd relize that of course he couldn't drop everything to try to solve their family problems. Military members are gone sometimes, it's just part of life, my husband was gone for 7 months of my last pregnancy because he had to, not because he wanted to. The military member can't be active in the childs life all of the time, no matter how much they want to be.

    • They were married. Legally he was the father regardless of genetics.

  3. THE dad has a legal right to keep the child or he should the woman should not be able to adopt the child out without his consent that makes no sense at all.

  4. This whole situation makes me so angry. The article stated they were married since 2009 and I just can't believe she would do this to her husband. Even if there is marital troubles, you don't do this to another person, especially to the man you supposedly loved for the past 3+ years. This was a spiteful act that shows a complete lack of maturity. She should be ashamed of herself for inflicting such pain upon her husband and the adoptive parents. The husband should get his daughter back. No one has the right to take away his right to be a father to his child.

  5. well if the man is fighting for our country and gone with no phone contact there has to be a reason but in no way should she have been able to give up her kid if the dad was still alive and as for utah having a daddy clause i think thats bullshit he is part of the making of that child so why shouldnt he be able to make decisions based on that reason alone i think the baby should be taken away from the adoptive parents and given to the dad no matter what it takes to two to tango so why is only one allowed to say i dont want this baby and just give it away she is WRONG AND SO IS THE STATE OF UTAH AND ANY OTHER STATE THAT SAYS OH YOU CAN ADOPT WITH OUT THE OTHER PARENT HERE

    • Their is ALWAYS a way to get in touch with the father. He was in South Carolina, not some far mission. She could have picked up a phone and got in touch through a CO.

  6. Thats crazy she should go to jail and be a single cellmate. Dads have rights what a dumb bitch.

  7. What I don't understand is why the adoption agency was not required to track down the father. They were legally married, and as a service member it would not have taken very long to locate him. Unless the woman lied, which would open a whole other can of worms, I can't see where this adoption was even legal to begin with.

    • Amy_Bushatz | January 7, 2013 at 10:42 am |

      Im with you. According to the stories, everyone knew that the biological father was alive but unaware of the adoption. And that he was married to the mother. In Utah there are laws allowing for something like this, but it's unclear to me how this situation fell under the parameters of them …

    • I was thinking the same thing since I have 3 adopted children, one from AZ, one from Haiti, and one from Hong Kong. The parents of my Asian son were married and even the Hong Kong government provided me with documentation that the father willingly gave up his parental rights. Otherwise I would never have taken the child into my home and risked setting myself up for the heartache of loosing the child.

      • Praises to you Victoria. We need more people like you. I know God has blessed you with these children for children are angels from God. I feel the couple should go back to the adoption agency for another baby and give the father back his child. My husband is retired from the Air Force and he was a pilot flying refuelers, and was responsible for his crew. I use to talk with wives that were unhappy about their husband's being deployed for months at a time or on alert for one week of each month, sometimes two. The squadron wives, would rally around that person and provide as much support to her as possible. Some would babysit for her, so she could have a day to herself

    • I'm thinking that it was allowed because he didn't sign the birth certificate and didn't contact her for four months. I don't know why their communication was poor, do you think it's possible that he expressed to her that he wanted to leave? Maybe she found out he was cheating or something, idk. I do think it's odd that he doesn't have the doctors, hospital info. He knew she was due soon, so if he couldn't get in touch with her, the doctor, her mother, the hospital, someone should be in his contacts. There's no why my husband wouldn't contact everyone in the area if i was giving birth and he couldn't reach me. It wasn't like he was deployed and couldn't get to a phone. It's just strange…..i don't agree with what she did, but something went on that's not being revealed. Either way there's no excuse for her actions.

  8. For those who remember the "Baby Jessica" case from two decades ago, at least there's hope that a little girl torn between an adoptive family (DeBoers) who wouldn't give her up and dragged out legal proceedings and a biological father (Schmidt) who fought for years to get custody, will be able to get past all this and lead a relatively normal life.

  9. The woman should have known what she was getting into by marrying into the Army. All soldiers at one point or another are called to duty elsewhere and depending on his MOS, there's chances that the spouse isn't to know where he is at and communication may be very limited. If she didn't want that life, she shouldn't had married him and definately should not have had children with him. That poor child is the one that is going to suffer the most through this whole situation. If she had any questions or doubts about anything, her first and foremost contact should have been the the FRG (Family Readiness Group) on post. They are always there to help the spouse of a military member regardless of the situation. They could have gotten in contact with the father and helped the situation. This totally should have gone in a different direction. I feel very sorry for all involved!!

    • I have no sympathy for this mother that gave away the child without the father's consent. Maybe she didn't know where he was or didn't know there were avenues to take to get in touch with him, but the adoption agency would know that. I am very sure she lied to them about not knowing who the father was. What about the birth certifificate? Or did she tell them she didn't have one? I do feel sorry for the father & the adoptive family, but if he is proven to be the father, has nothing in his background to prevent him from raising a child, then, the child should go to him.

    • As an army wife, I agree with the first part, but as far as the FRG, every FRG I have ever been involved with have been about as useless as things can get. They have been self-centered, elitist, and gossipers who would rather spread rumors about the GI's marital problems than actually take any effort to offer help or support to the troubled couple.

  10. As an army wife myself. You know exactly what you're getting yourself into. From the very beginning you are told what rights and privileges you have. As well as when and if any communication you will be able to have with your husband when he is sent else where. But she should've known that if for any reason she need to get in contact with her husband. All she had to do was call his commander. They would've gotten intouch with him . I believe what she did was selfish and she did it knowing how it would make him feel. Everyone knows the military is about takening care of family. So there was no way in hell she would've been alone in takening care of their child. The army would have been there the whole step of the way. She could have any gotten help from other military wives. She just chose not to !

    • mongolberry | January 7, 2013 at 9:37 pm |

      I agree that what she did was wrong and selfish, but you should know that just because that's your experience, it's not everyones. No one every told me my rights or privileges, most of what I know I researched and read about on the internet. ACS and ArmyOneSource helped a little, but the only reason I even knew to ask them or about their existence is from my own reading. I wouldn't know to call my husband's commander, until I read what you wrote, the only thing i knew of was the red cross. Not everyone know that the military is about taking care of family because that is not everyones experience and the army is not there every step of the way. My husband has been in a year, and I must say that civilian life was easier and the resources were much easier to find and use. The Army is not a bad life, but you do have to search for support.

      • You made a key point that I have to agree with. "YOU RESEARCHED" you know to often people get involved with something, wether because of the glamor or excitement of the life. However people hardly ever do research on what they are signing up for. They then trun around and act surprised when its not the life they assumed it to be.
        Since reading this story I started looking up ( is a hellified informaiton source.) The assemsent I am making on what I found, I will say she knew what she was doing when she went to Utah to put the baby up for adoption. Of course neither side discuss whether he cheat or if there was some other problem not named. The facts are listed that they gave him orders for both of them to go to SC she elected to stay in Texas while he was at school (I am prone to think this was a mutual agreement between them) Once he was gone she move to Utah.

      • The adoption agency didnt make this situation any better by following thru with the adoption, if the adoptive parents found the father (who by the way told them that he would not consent to giving up his rights) they how hard did the agency really look. What I think is they took the mother at her word and assumed that the father was a dead beat. When it comes to the adoptive parents, who are trying to raise money for legal fees to keep a child that a judge has ordered them to return, they should just return the child to the parent that obiviously wants her. With all the wragleing going on about the baby one is left to wonder if the Mother (Mrs. Bland) accepted money for giving birth to the baby and turning the baby over to the Fries. I mean think of how fast the adoption went thru no real searching a ready made family that she felt totally confortable with (this is just my opinion there is not facts supporting this thoughts).

        • The adoption was not finalized as Sgt. Achane was able to get to Utah in time to stop it. The baby should have been turned over to him the moment he contacted the agency. The judge in this case is mortified at what they've put him through.

  11. Say what?!? It sounds like both parties involved are immature and not ready for marriage or parent hood.

  12. I would like to first say that as a army wife, My ex husband stopped financially supporting me and my daughter completely for almost a year due to the fact that he was abusing me and didnt want me to have any access to anything of his. I had to find a home by myself and was supported by a friend of mine until I could recover from a surgery I had. As for the chain of command, i wish people would stop giving the chain of command such credit. I know that when I was being abused and hurt at home, they turned their heads and just told my ex husband to deal with it. They not only gave me NO help, they told me to "keep Quiet" and after he got arrested for a choking me out and screaming in my face on post, they didnt do any type of action, they actually promoted him a week later. So I have NO faith in the army and them helping spouses when needed. Im sure there is units out there who actually support the spouse in situations, but I also know that they can be very unhelpful.

    • @Angel, I totally agree with you on the chain of command. It seems that nobody(people outside of the body of Christ) cares anymore.

    • I understand where you come from I myself was abused by my ex husband and his command didn't help me they too said to keep quiet a friend told me about acai and cid and they took care of it even when he pcsed to ft. Hood and he got kicked out with an article 15

    • Steve in St. Louis | January 13, 2013 at 3:18 pm |


  13. gokumonster | January 8, 2013 at 7:28 pm |

    You know, its not always the woman's fault. Maybe she didn't even want the baby and the husband forced her to continue with the pregnancy. There are also plenty of reasons not to PCS with your husband. My husband's career does not define who I am or my lifestyle. I plan on sitting out the next PCS so I can establish a career and get a law degree. You have to put your needs first. Personally, I would have aborted it.

    • If that were the case, it would have been said in all the claims made…she felt separation anxiety…not the first time, either…the woman needed counseling or other mental assistance…I've seen such anxiety with my own eyes and what it can do…as for aborted "it" is a lack of feeling…sorry, but to me killing an unborn child that is dependent on you for survival is wrong…that child has as much right to a life as you or anyone else does…what if someone said maybe you should have been aborted? Would that offend you? I would hope so…If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex, not have sex and destroy the gift of life that happens because it is inconvenient or unwanted…if it is unwanted, just don't screw and risk getting pregnant…that's called common sense…..

    • Lady, I could see that you are a spoil brat, but beside that "COMMITMENT" is the responsibility of every couples that start having sex, if you can't handle it never ever open your legs cause if you bring a child into this world dreams and goals could be hold, but with sacrifice and willing anything could be accomplish.

    • This wasn't the case here. The woman was not abandoned. She abandoned him and deliberately kept her plans secret.

  14. mom of five | January 8, 2013 at 7:29 pm |

    all this talk about how dare her do this to her husband, an so on an so forth….. this was a cruel act on her part to the child! the child did nothing to deserve to be throw into this situation, she should be in trouble for child abuse, and as far as the adoptive parents, they knew when they took her the situation was sticky and should have expected something to come up, an i would honestly throw this back on the adoption agency, they should have better screening tactics! Poor man, an im sorry but if you didnt want kids, or the responsibility that goes with them, if you an your spouse happen to separate, then you shouldnt have them! there is no going thru with a pregnancy all the way to the end, then deciding on your own, oh well im married, but i think i will give this baby up just to cause a crazy life for this child an the man i married, an just so happen to be mad at!! she need help, very expensive HELP!!

  15. Catunya Strauther | January 8, 2013 at 7:33 pm |

    As a military spouse of 21 and 1/2 years I know what it is like to feel alone; however I also knew all command information. To give a child up for adoption without the fathers knowledge is unacceptable by all means. If her husband was not communicating with her why did she not reach out to the command? New laws and precedents needs to take place to stop this from ever happening again. He is at fault just as we’ll, what kind of man leave his spouse and not communicate with her for months. Even those in harms way communicate every now and then. Sad case bring the baby home to her father.

  16. She obviously was not involved with the military community there in Utah. When my husband left for a year I went back to Hill, where we were previously stationed, and was provided with nothing but support from all members of the military and civilian support network, even though my husband wasn't stationed there. In fact, the military community at Hill is BY FAR the best community I have been involved in. Whatever her motivations or her intent, the real issue is the child. I feel for every innocent involved, especially the adoptive parents who have done nothing wrong and the poor child. What a horrible situation.

  17. The adoption agency should be shut down!!! This same agency is responsible for several other adoption mishaps as well as surrogacy issues. They have used very unfair practices and threats to birth moms struggling with their decision. They have even threatened to deem them unfit to keep their other children if they change their minds about the adoptions!!

  18. Did anyone considers the mental stability of this woman? mental illness is it just something military servicemen suffer from, where are high number for spells is with the same issue. perhaps the long separation couples with the pregnancy, drove her over the edge. who is absolutely no excuse what she’s done

    • Right, postpartum depression could be a factor here. If you don't have anyone there to help you this could be the end result.

      • It's only post partum if it is after the baby. She started the adoption process 10 days after he left, a month before she delivered the child in a premature induction well before her due date.

      • Again no. I saw and read her interviews with the press after this all came out. She's a vindictive piece of work and knew that this was the best way to hurt her (now) ex-husband.

  19. This mom was flat wrong. The adoptive parents are wrong. They knew there was a chance this man would want his child (watched on CNN). The adoptive parents need to give this child back. The mom should have to pay any legal fees involved. She knew how to contact him if it was necessary. I don’t care if he never called her. She was wrong.

  20. I have 3 adopted children, and I would NEVER have accepted custody of them until I was certain that both parents had willingly terminated their parental rights. So my question is: why in the world did the adoptive parents not wonder why there was no documentation from this married woman's husband terminating his rights??? What were they thinking???

  21. Jennifer McMullin | January 8, 2013 at 8:17 pm |

    My first thought was OMG!! Seriously? That just sounds vindictive and you really have to wonder why. I didn’t even know there was any state you could adopt out a child without a serious effort to the find father. If you want to change your name you have to put out ads in the local newspapers to make sure no one’s looking for you. To file for divorce from an absent spouse you have to do the same thing. How can you put a child up for adoption without an effort to find the father? BTW I am a female navy veteran. A service that has frequent, long term deployments. I’ve heard lots of stories of non military husbands and wives going astray during their spouse’s long deployments and getting dear John (and I guess now dear Jane) letters, but this is definitely the first time I’ve heard of someone losing a child to adoption while away. Also, as pointed out there are so many ways to get the help you need from an uncooperative military spouses, a call to their command usually solves any problems.

  22. I know this is petty but in MY opinion…where did he PCS to and does that post have no communication opportunities…? My soldier and I have PCSd all over, together and apart, and there is no need for a 4 month communication gap! There just isn’t! Plain and simple. I do not agree that she adopted their daughter out without notifying him (horribly wrong! bad form lady!) but how did he NOT know…? He didn’t know she was pregnant? He knew she was and didn’t bother to check in with her? I honestly believe neither party was right and the only that matters is that little girl.

    • Read the referenced article. It states that the father attempted to contact the wife and he got no answer likely because she wasn't taking his calls and because her phone wasn't working for awhile.

  23. Is there a possibility that this child is not his? I can’t understand this dead beat mom. I could never ever walk away from my children like that. Apparently she has felt abandoned before and done this before. She’s obviously mentally unfit. The father can get his kid back by proving she was not fit to sign those adoption papers. Also what does Utah have to do with Texas? The baby was adopted out of Texas and born there.

    • You need to read the article that is accessed through the link provided. It states that the adoption agency was located in Utah and she moved there and was put up in an apartment along with 5 other pregnant women working with the adoption agency. Utah apparently doesn't require a biological father's consent to an adoption.

      • Utah is a haven state for predatory adoption agencies. They make it very difficult for a putative father to assert his rights.

        In this case, they were married and his rights are firmer.

  24. Shocked and stunned that the law allowed this in the first place and then that the adoption was not nullified after it was found out that the father did not give consent. Even if she didn't want the baby he should have had a say so. Doesn't the Soldiers and Sailors Act cover something about this?

  25. If I am deploy or pcs or away, and my wife give up my son like a dog.
    You will find her by the smell and the flies, second I will go to who ever
    Got my son, and I will give them 10 min to pack his bag.
    10 min after if the kid is not in the car seat, they will have to call swat.
    Because the mess is not going to be easy to clean.
    A concern dad

  26. As a Marine wife and mother, I'm disgusted by this. I'm not trying to be mean at all because I know every woman handles the situation differently when it comes to pregnancies and separations, however, to just give up your child because your husband wasn't around and you felt abandoned? Childish and irresponsible decision. You knew what being a military wife was going to be like when you said "I do". Just because your life was difficult for a few months doesn't mean you just give up. And to give up your own flesh and blood when you have the means to provide for that child and without telling your HUSBAND?! I could understand if you were really alone and it wasn't your significant other you were having a child with, but this is ridiculous. I went through my entire pregnancy and the first 6 months and this past 7 alone and would NEVER deny his father the chance to love the child that he helped create. That's selfish and childish. And to the adoptive parents, how dare you keep a father from his child when he had no prior knowledge or consent to the adoption. I understand it's not their fault for what happened and how it happened. But they couldn't even compromise by giving the child back but continue to be in the picture? I could understand if you've been raising the child for 5 years now, but you haven't. And how would that situation be better for the child for you to keep them from the father that actually wants them and can provide a good life? Sounds selfish to me. Completely upset by this news. I hope he gets his baby back and will be praying for him.

  27. What’s all this support the Army speaks of?? I living this right now! My hubby is doing an overseas tour in S. Korea. I gave birth to his twins in August (had a c section ALONE). He came on leave in September, went back to Korea and decided he didn’t wanna be a dad or husband anymore and starts saying he’s filing for divorce as soon as he gets back. Meanwhile he changes where his direct deposit happens to an account I have no access to. I can’t work b/c I also have a 3 yr old and childcare would be about $1600/month for all 3. I went to base JAG and they pulled out a sheet that says hubby is only required to send me and my 3 kids $656/month!!!!! I can’t even rent a 1 bedroom apt for that let alone buy the $400 worth of formula my babies eat monthly. Not to mention BAH is $831 so why am i not entitled to ALL of that??! And they state his command does not have to provide his address so I can seek child support (I have saved all email correspondences). No one forces him to pay even the $656 so he send what he wants when he wants. So tell me how I get housing support in addition to parental support and more that this article in paragraph 8 speaks about??! I’m a single mom of a 3 yr old and 4 month old twins; why won’t the Army MAKE my hubby take care of the family he helped create (and is getting paid extra for)??!

  28. What’s all this support the Army speaks of?? I living this right now! My hubby is doing an overseas tour in S. Korea. I gave birth to his twins in August (had a c section ALONE). He came on leave in September, went back to Korea and decided he didn’t wanna be a dad or husband anymore and starts saying he’s filing for divorce as soon as he gets back. Meanwhile he changes where his direct deposit happens to an account I have no access to. I can’t work b/c I also have a 3 yr old and childcare would be about $1600/month for all 3. I went to base JAG and they pulled out a sheet that says hubby is only required to send me and my 3 kids $656/month!!!!! I can’t even rent a 1 bedroom apt for that let alone buy the $400 worth of formula my babies eat monthly. Not to mention BAH is $831 so why am i not entitled to ALL of that??! And they state his command does not have to provide his address so I can seek child support (I have saved all email correspondences). No one forces him to pay even the $656 so he send what he wants when he wants. So tell me how I get housing support in addition to parental support and more that this article in paragraph 8 speaks about??! I’m a single mom of a 3 yr old and 4 month old twins; why won’t the Army MAKE my hubby take care of the family he helped create (and is getting paid extra for)??!

    • WOW, i wish i could help you! It really bothers me that so many criticize this woman but hide the ugly truth like this one. Acting like it's impossible for him to abandon her. I am so sorry this is happening to you! Can your family help you get a lawyer? Can you hack into his email and see if he's cheating? The alimony and childsupport you will receive will be substanial, along with back pay for all the months he didn't send adequate payments.

        • Hmmm….If all else fails, maybe you should start a petition on and ask for donations to cover your legal fees as well. Tell them all about the issues you're having, get your friends and family to send it to people they know. Send it to other military wives, they will fight for you. It will get their attention, i know command hates bad publicity.

      • What she's going through is awful.

        It has nothing to do with Sgt. Achane's case.

    • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 6:47 pm |

      Do you currently work? Have you contacted IG?

    • You will want to contact the Family Advocacy Program at your nearest military installation. They may not be able to get you ALL of the help you need, but they should be able to point you in the right direction. You may qualify for their Victim Advocacy Services. Hope this helps.

    • As a former JAG, first go back to the JAG office, the legal assistance office, and get some competant help. The pirpose of a Legal Assistance officer is to help you, not youre husband or the Army. The information you were given is not correct. Unless your husband's assignment is classified, you can get his unit address. That address is good for his CO as well.

      The JAG you talked to is exceptionally lazy, ignorant, or something worse. Talk to his boss, make a complaint, if they won't do better go to the IG.

      If hubby is drawing BAS, and not supporting his family, it should be terminated. The first and best answer is a letter to his CO, hopefully written by the Legal Assistyance JAG. Just the facts, etc.

      The Chaplain, the IG and your Congress critter, in that order, are also excellent sources of aid. Do not take no for an answer.

  29. ………..She's crazy. First of all. Why didn't she follow him? If the answer is because she wanted to stay home with family, then why on God's green earth did her family allow her to give up her child which she had all manner of means to provide for? If not, she should've followed him. This whole situation is just bat crap crazy.

  30. I’m trying to figure out why you quoted Utah law regarding adopting out a child without the father’s consent, considering the case is neither in Utah nor regards either location the parents or adoptive family are.
    The adoption agency should have looked into the father. Do adoption agencies not even care to check anything? It doesn’t matter if the birth mother was “abandoned.” She acted selfishly. There’s no telling what really happened in their relationship, but the father was unaware of his child’s birth and adoption. For one, the father should have had some kind of idea of around when the baby would have been born due to due dates. I understand that due dates are not precise, but my understanding is that the military usually gives some kind of leave times for some things. He could have taken an emergency leave. But that’s besides the point, obviously this couple did not have a good relationship. There are laws in place to protect birth fathers in cases involving adoptions. The adoption agency should not have proceded without the father’s permission. The birth mother went about this all wrong and probably lied about te father. The adoption agency and mother are to blame for this mess, more so the mother. I’m sure the adoptive parents are attached to the child, but they need to understand his position and do what is right for the child. The father obviously wants his child. No matter what, there will be broken hearts.

  31. Though I believe the mother was a bit hasty in this situation, we also have to remember that the communication between her and her then husband was lacking. Pregnancy and child birth is hard on a woman, but doing it alone is even harder. We as women can’t take four plus months off from our responsibility of parenthood which starts in the womb, and so, I must stand with the mother in her decision because if the father really cared, he would have made the extra effort to stay in contact despite the situation to make sure the mother had everything she needed including emotional support to help her through the pregnancy.

    • She cut all contact with him. Read all of the reports. It was proven in court. She also admitted in court that she ignored his calls.

  32. Either way it wasn't her decision to make. That's what it comes down to. This didn't happen yesterday as AnaGB pointed out, so I find it hard to believe he's dishing out thousands of dollars to get his daughter back because he is concerned with what the public might think. We can all tell our stories, cause we do have them. This is about what is right and what is wrong. This is one of those situations that is that simple. There is no gray area here. She had no right to do what she did to this baby girl, the father and adoptive parents.

  33. CHRISTIE WAGNER | January 8, 2013 at 10:57 pm |

    As far as I know, the adoptive parents are Mormon. I don't know if they converted Tira Bland but I've seen a situation like this firsthand–Mormons are encourage to have as many children as possible, whether by natural childbirth or adoption, in order to increase the number of Mormons–this statement is factual and not a matter of opinion or perception or prejudice on my part. (Furthermore, I knew a non-Mormon Father who had his child taken away from him by adoptive Mormon parents and tragically, it worked, in addition to their having converted the biological mother of the child and persuaded her to give up her child.)

    • This family has several biological children and another adopted child. Two of their biological children are special needs. They began adopting when she miscarried on several occasions and learned she could no longer have children.

  34. No money? Feb 1 (the day he left) is payday! Why all of a sudden money troubles? She wouldn’t PCS with him but she sure did move to Utah in a hurry. I don’t believe her at all. he definitley has his faults in thisoo. How do u let your house and car go unpaid oh and phones too! Where was he living during drill why school?

    • He didn't let the house go unpaid – he continued to pay the mortgage. Her car was repossessed because SHE stopped making payments. He arranged for her to have another car. She also had access to the joint bank account.

  35. lolu torres | January 9, 2013 at 12:10 am |

    No money? Feb 1 (the day he left) is payday! Why all of a sudden money troubles? She wouldn’t PCS with him but she sure did move to Utah in a hurry. I don’t believe her at all. he definitley has his faults in thisoo. How do u let your house and car go unpaid oh and phones too! Where was he living during drill why school?

    • Sometimes the adoptive parents will pay for the mother is they're sure they will get the child. Her going to Utah was probably paid for by the agency or adoptive parents. He probably changed the bank account for his deposits, so she had no money to support herself. More than likely he was probably living with a girlfriend.

      • She actually used the debit card and withdrew all of the money in the account before leaving for Utah. It was proven with bank records in court.

      • Actually, it was shown in court that she withdrew large amounts of money and used the debit card for beauty salons and fast food right before leaving to Utah. Tricare paid for the delivery, not the PAP's.

    • Loving my kids | January 9, 2013 at 1:34 am |
  36. I'm beside myself that any adoption agency, judge, attorney or adoptive parent would have excepted her word without his signature. I have lived through this as I adopted out my first child to my older sister who could not get pregnant after years of natural and medical procedures. I was young then and regret my decision today and she probably will down the line too.
    She signed off rights but everyone involved knew the father of a MARRIED woman had not. I understand the heartbreak and disappoint for the adoptive parents, however, this man deserves custody of his child. The mother and adoption agency need to feel the wrath of the law.
    She and all parties involved will ultimately have to answer to God in the end. This should not happen to anyone! Signatures are REQUIRED signing off rights. Claiming abandonment is nothing when married.
    I hope things do change if there are truly legal loopholes out there in any of these United States. No service member should have to deal with this.
    Hell, my husband and I have to live 300 miles apart and only sees his son on weekends because my EX HUSBAND put a limitation on where I can live. In Texas they allow controlling, abusive, ex-husbands the right to still control the life of the mother of the child. Yet he can live where ever he wants. I just happily stay here with my daughter and my son because I'll be damned if I'm leaving my daughter behind. Meanwhile my husband has to pay for two households and is limited to time with his child.
    Some laws really make me wonder!!!

  37. How could you give up your child and not inform your husband regardless? I find it sickening that the husband doesn't have any legal tie to his own child, a father is just as capable of a parent as a mother. Why is it that men don't have the same rights over their children as women do? It's 2013 for god's sake!

  38. He abandons his pregnant wife, doesn't communicate with her, and then decides to act shocked AFTER a phone call four months following the baby's birth? Seriously? I have seen first hand, as an Army wife myself, helping other Army wives who have been abandoned by their soldiers that the soldier's commanders can't MAKE them do anything. Had one FLAT OUT tell us that even. Oh, sure, they can "suggest" an allotment to which the soldier can agree to and then quietly cancel at will. Also, they have made it clear that the ONLY thing they will enforce is a Court Order. That's really hard to do from out of state and having little to no income for a lawyer. Also, the State welfare system WILL NOT even give food stamps or anything to a Mom & her kids if the father is a soldier without a letter from his Command stating they are separated and that he isn't providing the % of housing allowance he is supposed to give her, which of course they WILL NOT do because they can get in trouble. So, it's a vicious cycle because we are back to the stupid allotment "suggestion" scenario. Bottom line, an adoption agency apparently adopted out a child without the bio father's consent, which I doubt would happen unless it was allowed in that State. If it is sketchy, they will surely answer for it.

    • They had a joint bank account and she cut all ties with him. She admitted in court she refused to answer his calls. It was also proven in court that all bills were paid and she cleaned out their joint account prior to leaving for Utah. Read all the info on this case please.

  39. Hopeu Choketira | January 9, 2013 at 4:40 am |
  40. The man calls 4 mos. after the child is born 2 find out about the child? I can c he was very interested 2 find out ANYTHING about her. He should have thought about it before. What, he gets upset because the mother puts the child for adoption? I least she didn't kill her like some other folks do. He wants custody of the child? Well, is he going 2 be a responsible father, (yeah, right!), and take care of this childs needs, or, is he going 2 dump her on someone elses' 2 raise her, and is claiming custody just 2 spite the mother or the adoptive parents. Games people play!

    • No, the mother cut all contact with him and fully admitted this in court. She finally contacted him when the baby was 3 months, not 4, and admitted what she did. She was also prematurely induced almost 4 weeks before the due date by the adoption agency's contract hospital so he would not know the baby was born. He tried to find her by calling her family, doctor, etc and was not given answers. This has all been shown and proven in court.

  41. First, I see so many issues here. One, the Armed Forces do "not" follow what they "write" or "talk" about or publish in AFIs. So stating there was "help" throughout the command is not true. Armed Forces "turn" their backs on spouses by using their famous coward words "this is a 'civi'l matter–we can't help you."
    Second, no one has the right to adopt-out a child when the biological father/mother is not aware of/or has given consent to said adoption. And the agency who allowed such is at fault for not "thoroughly" investigation first. The adoptive parents who are chosing to be selfish and NOT do the righ thing by giving the child to the biological father are also at fault.
    Also, if you don't understand the commitment it takes to SUPPORT your active duty member, then please do everyone a favor and just go away quietly instead of flauting your inability to cope with the idea that you are there to support your active duty spouse and sometimes you just have to use common sense and handle issues on your own instead of throwing your own childish fits.

  42. Everyone is bashing, and putting her down. R u willing 2 walk in her shoes 4 a period of time? If not, b quiet, do not judge, lest ye be judged. Anyway, where was HE when she was pregnant? Why did it take him so long 2 find out about HIS child and the events that ocurred the child? NOW, he is apalled and offended? Get real, pls!

    • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 10:08 am |

      HE was doing his military duty. SHE was not working, got their car repossessed and refused to PCS with him. HE was at all the drs appointments that he could make, keeping a roof over her head and taking care of a child that wasn't his from HER previous relationship. Plus, if you'd read ANY of the links to other articles, you'd know that she ran away and broke off contact…when civilians do that, they are harder to find than say…a servicemember/Drill Sgt. I'll walk in her shoes, but I find it hard to be that trifling. I also know that her and the baby would have been taken care of whether she wanted to or not…the Army doesn't play that. One call to IG and any financial issues would have been resolved.

    • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 3:36 pm |

      He was going to her doctors appointments with her and picking out names with her. If you actually read the source article or did a google search, you would find the answers that you seek. He's been actually fighting for Leah since she was a few months old…

  43. I am a mother of twin boys they are almost 3 now and my husband is in the army , i can see how the mother could feel alone but what she did was wrong. If she did not want to keep the child she should have given the baby girl to the father not adopted her out . The father wants his baby girl i feel that he should at least be given the chance he at least deserves that . the adoptive parents should want whats best for the child and to me that would be with her father .

  44. Back in 1976 was stationed at Camp Lejuene and getting divorced. Soon to be ex refused to pay support I went to his commander and the child support was institued for his remainding service time. That was just done on verbal communication! So if that could happen some 32+ years ago, it can now! There is always help out there.

  45. Where does the state of Utah come into this at? She was in Texas. Why didnt she go through a Texas agency? Or did she try to go through an agency in Texas and be told that she needed the father to sign off on the adoption? Nothing I read says how the state of Utah got involved.

    • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 10:11 am |

      Utah has adoption laws which allow adoptions without the written consent of the biological father. In most cases, the father is unmarried and in Utah has virrually no rights unless he jumps through hoops. However, because the Achanes were married at the time, the law didn't apply to that case. The adoptive family and agency were informed that Terry didn't know and would probably contest, but proceeded anyway, thinking that the law would cover their butts.

  46. NurseKellie | January 9, 2013 at 10:13 am |

    I am an Army Wife, Army Mom, Army Nurse, Victim Advocate, and Fetal and Infant mortality bereavement coordinator. There is way more to this story. First I have seen the word deployment used. This soldier, husband, father was not deployed. He was in school. He was TDY (temporary duty). After school there would be a PCS move unless of course the two were combined which is also common. If it was a PCS move then what is the answer as to why the wife did not PCS with the husband. I can almost guarantee you that he claimed them on his financial forms for payment of move. more…

    • NurseKellie | January 9, 2013 at 10:13 am |

      There should have been no challenge in communication. What I absolutely hope for is that the best interest of the child be handled with the utmost importance while not forgetting the feelings of all other parties invested. This is very sad, and seems to me that mother and father of child have some issues to work on, in themselves. I am sure that many, many more facts (and lies) will come out. The Army I am sure is looking into how this soldier allowed this to happen. Even if he did not. They will want to get to the bottom. My tone may seem to accuse the father, I am sorry if it does, as I do not. I am just saying that there are many avenues to take in this matter and what is reported here is not even the tip of the iceberg.

      • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 10:25 am |

        There are numerous other articles about this story:
        That one links to at least 3 others that give more information. But just to save you the trouble, she CHOSE not to PCS with him, claiming that she wanted to have the baby where she had family around. He provided the house, Tricare for her and her stepdaughter, a vehicle for her when hers got repossessed and access to bank accounts from which court records showed she did withdraw money. She also left 10 days after he did and turned her phone off, so that HE couldn't contact her. The lack of contact was on her end…not his.

        • NurseKellie | January 9, 2013 at 11:03 am |

          Thanks so much for the added information. No time to read now……But if all that is fact the she is wrong…..PERIOD.
          Sick, Selfish, Hateful, Needs Jesus!! :)

          • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 11:40 am |

            No problem. One of the main problems with this case is that the facts are getting lost. SSG. Achane STILL is fighting this case to this day and as of now does NOT have his daughter with him.

          • NurseKellie | January 9, 2013 at 3:17 pm |

            I have to find time to go read more! How long has he been without her. I guess I mean when was she born. And surely her knew the due date. Did her not go in search for her then?

  47. How could she, her husband is defending our country and this Girl, cause I would not call her an adult is sick, I truely believe that she had it planned the whole time, and I believe she has a mental problem. I believe with all my heatrt that this little girl should be given to her father and there should be no questions about it, also the girl should pay ALL expenses and be kept away from her daughter.

    Ms. Ane

  48. Forrest Austin | January 9, 2013 at 10:48 am |

    First of all, any state that allows for one parent to make that decision alone (lawful) is completely out of line and their laws should be changed or modified to reflect "dual" requirement of agreement. Who would approve such a stupidity; allowing one parent to make such an impacting decision alone? OMGoodness!!!

  49. I don't care how abandoned she felt, As a military spouse you have rights to support. Once there is a child involved you have even more rights. She could have done a number of different things but she chose to give away a mans child. She had NO RIGHT. And the adoption agency should be ashamed of themselves for giving away a military mans child when he had no idea what was happening. I'm sorry for the adoptive parents but this baby needs to be returned to his father and the mother needs to have NO visitation and still have to pay support for this child.

    • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 11:02 am |

      The mother gave up her rights in 2011. The adoptive family knew that Achane didn't agree and refused to return Leah when he contacted them. They are the reason this has gone on for almost 2 years and is STILL going on today. He's still fighting them…it's not over.

  50. I am a military wife and dealt with schools and deployments(with no communications) I have six children and felt like a single mother of 6, but I was very supported what ever my husband does in the military! I chose the position, knowing I will be a single mother of 6! Put my life on hold and moved where ever the military moves us, I loved my life as a military spouse and mother and took advantage of whatever the military gave us! To let you know I really miss the military life, since my husband recently retired in October of 2012! I Love my husband and my 6 children and I would not change it for the world! Now the spouse gave up her child was thinking selfishly and did not support her husband and I think she was angry and did it out of spite! The Military Husband has all the right to get his daughter back, he did not consent to it, so that means the adoption is illegal!!!!! When you get a passport you have to have permission from both parents to even go over seas( even if one of the parents has been absent from the time the child was born) So how can adoption be legal without both signatures?

    • I don't understand how it was legal either. My grandsons bio father wants nothing to do with him (fine with me and more than his loss). My daughter has been trying to get the courts to give her sole custody since the father is not paying support, visiting, nothing. But, the state says they can't do that without the bio approval. Not only does he need to sign on the dotted line he has to show up in court. He never does so, we could have quite the mess on our hands if my daughter (a new Airman) gets stationed out of state.

      • Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 1:27 pm |

        It wasn't legal. The Freis have NOT legally adopted Leah. Right now, she's just with them until the 16th when they have to turn her over. But they have no legal claim to her at all.

  51. The woman suffers from an anxiety of being left alone, a form of separation anxiety, a mental problem…that's obvious as she felt the feeling in the past…he went to school, it's not a short term school…she, as an Army wife, KNEW she had options and people to turn to…in this case, the adoptive parents should be much more understanding and more interested in making sure the child is with family instead of being greedy and not wanting to give the child back to the father…this case is ridiculous…plain and simple, the rights of the father are being trampled…he should get his child back ASAP, the mother needs treatment or counseling, and the adoptive parents need a wake-up call to relearn what real family is all about…

  52. Before fight the adoptive parents in court, have the DNA checked. This is a very odd thing for a mother to do unless she had doubts about if he was the father or not. She saw an opportunity to get rid of the evidence and she took it. She had the child adopted so she would not have a constant reminder. It was just too easy for her to do.

  53. Where did you come from? I am a retired Army female who is working Civilian Service now and I am here to tell you that if the family didn't want any help then ACS would not have known there were any issues before he left. She had the option to PCS with him, she just choose not to. She is the one that choose to give up their daughter for adoption by herself. I truly believe that the father deserves to have the child and the mother needs to get a mental evaluation.

  54. Could you imagine if the tables were turned and the Father had given the baby up for adoption while the mother was away? He would probably be jailed- but no worries the Utah law allows a woman to give up the child without the father's consent not the other way around. When it comes to famuily issues the man never gets the fair shake!

  55. He did a PCS move without his pregnant wife. She gave the baby up for adoption. So who’s at fault here? Who knows?! We are not part of their family and shouldn’t say who is right or wrong. I’m sure she had valid reasons for giving the baby up. Until you hear the full story which would include his, hers and someone close to the family to iron out the lies, we can’t blame either one right now.

    • She informed him that she wanted to stay in Texas for the birth so she was near her family, then join him in SC. Please read all of the info to this case. Google search brings it up easily.

  56. He did a PCS move without his pregnant wife. She gave the baby up for adoption. So who’s at fault here? Who knows?! We are not part of their family and shouldn’t say who is right or wrong. I’m sure she had valid reasons for giving the baby up. Until you hear the full story which would include his, hers and someone close to the family to iron out the lies, we can’t blame either one right now.

    • I hate to tell you this BUT she choosed not to go with him. Then 10 days after he left she went to utah. Do some research so you can make an infomed opinion.

    • Agent00DivaCee | January 10, 2013 at 8:59 am |
      She CHOSE not to PCS claiming she wanted to have the baby in TX where she had family. You are unbelievable. No matter what happened in their personal relationship, giving a child up for adoption without the consent of BOTH parents is illegal and actually wrong. Now, if you had actually done some reading so that you could have made an INFORMED comment, you would know that the judge actually found the testimony of the mother not to be credible.

  57. The adoptive parents are keeping this mans child which is against the law (he did not give consent) and I can't understand why someone of authority has not stepped in yet. If mom didn't want the child why did she get pregnant in the first place. I know from experience that army wives have groups you can join and plenty of support for those left behind. This woman needs to grow up and stop having children she doesn't want. This is a terrible crime to humanity.

    • I'm a military spouse of 13 years. Yes, there are groups on post but that's 9-5, Monday through Friday IF you have a copy of his orders and form dd blah, blah, blah! Also, if he PCS'd to another state and was being an a-hole, he could have out processed and then she would have no access to any services on post. We don't know the whole story so stop bashing the woman. Where was he that he couldn't make a phone call sooner than 4 months after the birth of his child? While my husband was being shot at during war he called me all the time. He's just as bad as her. Blame both or no one at all!

      • I'm not taking up for her either. But I don't like the fact that anyone is being put down when no one has the full story.

      • She cut all contact with him. He tried to find her and this was proven with phone records in court. She also admitted that she did not answer any calls and was hiding from him to not tell him.

  58. Christopher Perego | January 10, 2013 at 4:32 am |

    The father of the child has every right to regain his child that was wrongfully and illegally adopted out by the child's mother. There are too many, ( not say there are too many, just enough ), resources for wives of soldiers, for this to have happened. The Chain of command any support system, on base, would have assisted. I feel as a former soldier, that if my wife did this, I would be fighting for my child as well. So many soldiers serve this country, to come home to their spouse cheating, left them, or be served with "Dear John" letters while they are in a war zone. The soldiers do not deserve things like that to happen to them. Even during long training or TDY experiences of separation, this type of thing happens. Not only do women do this to their male counterparts serving in the military, but Men do this to their female counterparts as well. These soldiers are defending you and this country, or they are preparing to, or preparing others to do so. This is not right on so many different levels of humanity that it is insane!

  59. There are a few things that we know for sure, because this case has already been heard in court and the adoptive family was ordered to give the baby back. They are appealing the decision and not being very cooperative. The mother gave the wrong contact information for the baby's father, so that the agency would not be able to reach him. He was only gone for 10 days when she left Texas to go to Utah to have the baby and give it up for adoption. He was still paying her bills and household expenses and his attorney was able to provide documentation to the judge. This is a very sad story, all the way around. However, the baby needs to be returned to her Dad.

  60. This says more about the relationship (or lack of) between the spouses. There is very little information in the article making it difficult to ascertain the situation. It isn't clear whether he was a reservist who was going to be gone for the requisite training period or and active duty soldier. As a reservist, he would be returning home as soon as the course was completed. If an active duty soldier, it would have been a temporary duty assignment after which he would be reassigned to a new station for which he would have the opportunity to return 'home' and fulfill the requirements for clearing the installation in Texas and arranging shipment of household to the new assignment. There is just not enough information here to make a rational informed observation.

  61. Teresa Taylor | January 10, 2013 at 11:59 am |

    I cannot understand how a mother can opt to give her child up for adoption (particularly) when she is a military wife. There is so much support for military families; if she didn't know she could have asked. I was a military AF wife for 22 years. I've had many days when I felt alone (never abandoned), but alone and afraid, but never once did I consider giving my child up for adoption. I think there is soooo much more to the story, and the mother definitely needs counseling. I do beleive the dad should fight for his flesh and blood (my only negative thought is), perhaps the mother has something to hide and the child may NOT have been his, and this is her way of trying to get out of the problem (especially) now that they are divorced. Seek counsel mentally and spiritually is all I have to say.

  62. I agree with her, I was stationed at ft Jackson and there are pay phones all over that post.
    How come it took him four months to reach out and talk to her about the child. Also, the Army will let you travel from school if your wife is in labor or just gave birth. What did he think, she was going to be pregnant for 15 months. How can you call yourself a real Soldier and husband if your willing to leave your pregnant wife and child in another state. I would hate to have you on my team in a fire fight…Coward….Damn right he should lose the baby. He abandoned her once, he will do it AGAIN.

    • You seriously need to do some reading. Even based off this small article what you have said is completely ridiculous. "Damn right he should lose the baby" are you really that short sighted and judgmental? No one should lose their child because their spouse felt abandoned and they were in a troubled marriage. Everything she said and did was proven to be discreditable by the judge. So her pity party was a load of BS and his so called "abandoning" her was her way of trying to make herself a victim, as he clearly did not, he was smart enough to divorce her so there is no doing it AGAIN. She was hateful and vindictive, as her actions proved. Your comment is here on page 4, did you not read anything posted even on here where there are now plenty of FACTS to gain just a little bit of information before you went off and wrote such ignorance. And you call yourself a soldier?

  63. I don't think any one of us here can judge this case accurately as we're just not privy to details. On one hand, I feel for the dad, but if you read the ENTIRE article, the mother states these things:

    "He didn’t leave me with an address or anything," said Bland. "He just said good-bye. It wasn’t anything like ‘I love you’ or ‘I will be back for you and the baby.’ It was just like he didn’t care."

    "Bland said she also contacted Achane’s commanding officer in Texas and asked him to relay her plans to her husband.

    "He reassured me he did," Bland said, "and told me that [Achane] was going to get a divorce from me and put our house up for sale. I was left to figure it all out on my own."

    "When I met Terry, I was a single mother and I was a struggling single mother," Bland said. "I was living in a one-bedroom apartment and didn’t have any money and knew the harshness for a child of being a single mother. All I could see was the best for my girls at the time. I knew if I was going to go through an adoption agency, I knew someone could help me. It was all of the sudden, but it was all I had at the time."

    Bland said the agency "really didn’t say much" about her marital situation. "They just followed their procedures to reach him. … No one really talked about it. We were all thinking about the well-being of the baby."

    After the birth, Bland returned to Texas and moved in with her parents.

    Bland said months passed without any word from her husband.

    "I still wasn’t receiving anything from him," she said. "He wasn’t calling [my parents] to see how I was doing. … It seemed odd."

    Bland also said that, despite still being married, she was no longer getting any financial support from him, such as housing pay.

    Bland said she contacted Achane’s new commanding officer in South Carolina to complain about the lack of support, a call that took place in June.

    "I was trying to let them know that he had a wife out here he wasn’t even supporting, and a child," Bland said, referring to Achane’s stepdaughter.

    The commanding officer put Achane on the line.

    Bland said she doesn’t remember all the details of the conversation, but recalls Achane telling her he had continued to put money in their joint account. He did not, she said, ask about their daughter. Bland informed him she had placed the child for adoption.

    so while we can all judge him or her equally, there's more details and truths that will never be public.

  64. It doesn't say how well they did communicate it only tells what they each said but regardless giving u child for adoption is up to both parents and how it got this far without the fathers consent is wrong. He should get his child back without a doubt.

  65. The father should fight to get his child back, that’s how u know he will be a great dad. As for the wife, Im a marine wife my self, so I can understand how she could feel alone, but sweetie, u signed up for the military too when u said “I do”. That’s no reason to give ur child up, shame on u. And for the daddy… Good luck and wish nothing but great memories and lots of love

    • "You sign up for the military too…" As a military wife and FRG leader I can tell you there are LOTS of women that are not educated of that fact up front. This was the ENTIRE basis behind putting this type of organization in place. So many women/men are not educated on their rights as a spouse. While I can sincerely appreciate the fact that there are classes out their and system in place, please believe the word is STILL not socialized as it should. Nor are all command structure equal; hence, good leadership vs bad. I also do not think this man should be nominated just yet…there is a lot missing from HIS story as well. Why does it take FOUR (4) months to get an update on your child. Something is not right…plenty of men are chiming in on this same fact.

      Last, if she did not want a child, please know that asking her to keep it is not healthy for either her or the child. Not everyone is cut out for the job.

      • Actually, this being Tira Bland's 3rd marriage to an Army Soldier, she knew what was expected. You, Jazz, really need to get away from the "I'm an FRG leader and I wear my husband's rank, blah blah" and actually take 2 seconds to look up the truth in this case. If you fif you would not show just how ignorant of a woman you are. Instead, you continue to babble going off the drama inflaming article and show exactly why military wives and FRG's have a bad rep. Thank yourself for that one.

  66. retired MSG Seargent | January 11, 2013 at 5:56 pm |
  67. Actually, her comments are based on the facts as found in court, already proven. So no, they are not generalizations, they are actual FACTS. You would rather chase Diva around than take a few minutes to look up the facts in the case. You would realize pretty quickly that you have absolutely no clue what has been going on. However, you may then be forced to actually do the right thing and apologize to Diva for calling her ignorant.
    I, unlike you, actually know ALOT about this case and it would do you quite a bit of good to shut your mouth and listen to those in the know. I also know for a fact that Diva knows almost everything concerning this case.

  68. Actually, Diva's comments are facts and they are easily proven. It is all court records now.

  69. This is for a petition for SGT Achane… and there is one on there to stop this adoption agency in Utah. Sorry i didnt apply the link, though it is right in the beginning of under child trafficking. Just wanted to put that out for those who care.

  70. Military Independent | January 12, 2013 at 12:03 pm |

    I also was a military wife and can fully understand this woman's feelings. I often felt abandoned and when I was left in charge of making sure the many PCSs went well or the entire home during extended TDYs, there was not a lot of base support that found its way to my door. In fact, during one extremely trying PCS the PCS move personnel told me that they wouldn't talk to me that they had to talk directly to my husband who was simply not there. There were many, many times that I threatened to walk out the door and never look back and eventually I did vowing never to have another thing to do with that military husband or a military base ever, ever again. It's been 18 years and I've kept that promise to myself. The scars are too deep. The difference is that I took my children with me and have raised them. My ex-husband gave them to my new husband when I remarried by giving them up for adoption to him. In the article above I'm glad to see that the ex-husband wants his child and is fighting for her. The child will still suffer abandonment issues later as she learns that her mother gave her up for adoption. I am hoping the fight is short in favor of the father and the father will be there for the child.

    • If you vowed not to have anything to do with the military, then why are you on a military-oriented web site? When people need their hands held 24/7 to get through the trials of military life, they should not be affiliated with the military. Any support we get as spouses is a benefit that should be appreciated, because in reality, the military is not obligated to do anything for us. We didn't sign a contract with them. Whether or not this woman felt abandoned, what she did was wrong. You are forgetting that she married a military guy with the knowledge that he would not always be available to her. She should have responsibly dealt with the consequences of the decisions she made.

  71. We're still in the 1950's and the father has no rights where kids are concerned. Now the Seargeant gets to pay most of his income to some legal slime to get back what's rightfully his. And I'll prettyt much guarantee that some lawyer is pushing mamma to fight him. It;s all about money. The question I;m curious about is, did momma get paid for the kid?

  72. She should be locked up, I had to go through similar issue, wife digure after I got in basic training, I could not get back to save my son , her and her lawyer worked together along with a dead beat boyfriend, won the custidy battle and my son had to grow up on the street, got in alot of trouble and was unable to follow in my steps, I worked with him as he grew up, but it wasn't till he reached the age of 18 when i cut the support off that his mother 's boyfriend tossed him on the street. The only good that cane from that was her boyfriend bail when the free money was gone and my son started to listen more to me. he finished last year as a honor student from ITT after he got away from his mother and the glorious town of B-town KY. he doesn't want to come but I leave the light on for him to find his way home. I am proud that he found another way out of theat town.

  73. Is this what we've come to? I am a single soldier with no children, and this scares me. What is to come after things like this? Drill Sergeant school is only 9 weeks long… a little over 2 months. If he is a sergeant then he has been deployed, she can handle a deployment but not a a couple months? This should not even be a question of who gets the baby. This whole situation is morally wrong. And I am so very disappointed that one of my brothers in arms has to be treated like this from his own wife.

    Sgt Johnson

    • The sad thing is this website for military spouses writes and article stating he said, she said, when the actual facts were already argued and found in court. The court found Tira lied and that Tira, the adoption agency, and the potential adoptive parents knowingly thwarted all attempts for him to get, talk, or see his daughter. Instead of reporting the actual facts, this article was used to purposefully cause drama.

  74. What about the state of Utah? To have a law on the books to allow something like that to happen is just wrong!

  75. Steve in St. Louis | January 13, 2013 at 3:15 pm |

    Actually this would appear to be a case of kidnapping to me. If they were going to go through a divorce, the usual approach is to determine custody, and if the court determined custody settlement is violated, it is kidnapping, a felony.
    I think there is a case of kidnapping here and the father had parental rights to the child, being that they were legally married.
    This will rightfully go to court, but the father should file a complaint against his wife and the adoption agency as soon as possible.
    Certainly the father was placed in a very tight situation, being liable to AWOL or worse, desertion, if he did not show up for his assigned duty.
    He probably should have asked for social work support in this instance, or even the Red Cross, to find out what happened to his wife and baby, but that's no longer an option.
    There is tremendous strain in families with military deployments and usually the law is in the deployed persons favor since it recognizes they are obliged to be away on military duty and not able to be physically present for legal transactions.
    When these family breakups occur, the stress is overwhelming and may lead to emotional breakdown, stress reactions, even suicide, so the military needs to recognize these circumstances and do everything possible to support service members, in the interest of a stable and effective military force.

    • This has gone to court and has been in the court systems for 19 months. SSG Achane provided proof and the judge found that the egg doner was a liar. SSG Achane has been awarded custody and the PAP's are fighting it. They have also been in direct contempt for refusing to follow the court's orders.

  76. David in MA | January 13, 2013 at 3:38 pm |

    Me thinks she has done this before and wants to move on with another man….again.

  77. I don't know anything about Utah, but we adopted 4 children from California, and I can tell you they left no stone unturned when it came to finding and contacting a father or suspected father (in California, a legal spouse is the presumed father even if he is not the biological father.) We actually had to contact and get a signature from a husband in a Mexico prison who'd been there for years and couldn't possibly be the biological father, but he was a legal spouse. All that to say, under what circumstance would authorities NOT attempt to seek relinquishment from the father, especially a legal spouse? There is more to this story.

    • Utah does this constantly. If you have a chance, look up Utah adoptions and you will see how it is.

  78. This indeed is a "SAD" situation for all invovled starting with the state that support a law of this nature that can cause nothing but "family" distruction and confussion" starting with this case. This women was able to adopt out these children without the father's consent is such an injustice for the children as well as the father. this action alone shows that the mother was not acting in a rational manner. to palce everyone involved on an emotional roller coaster as such is plain old WRONG! What uncertainty will the children endure while this situation is being sorted out. All this could have been avoided if this state law would have had a few safety nets in place such as a mental evaluation for the parent who set this in motion. hopefully the outcome will cause the state to re-evaluate this law for the best interest of children not being place in a web of this nature ever again.

  79. We've all seen people and said "Wow, they never should have been parents." – Yet when someone admits they shouldn't be a parent everyone treats them badly. Get a grip people: This woman should not be a parent and I think everyone agrees with that. So she did the right thing. Would you have preferred she drowned it in 5 months? Or abused it for the next 18 years? Obviously this couple had troubles before the baby or this never would have gone this far. Nobody knows the whole truth but them. For all we know she needed to get rid of the kid so the husband wouldn't find it he wasn't the dad. Or getting pregnant was a tactic to keep the hubby home. There are 100 ways this could have gone, but the baby getting a good set of parents is the best case outcome so what is everyone loosing their minds over?

  80. DEBRA MORGAN | January 28, 2013 at 5:25 am |

    if dont let peoples know the truth the military husband will keep lying as well the army will keep covering up for them which is wrong so i guess the comment struck someone nerve well one day im going broadcast it in live if i cant get it on here everyone will know the truth i havent finish yet im just getting started i do thank the ones that did agree with me on what i did share light on and it was the truth my time will be on radio station and tv im going to keep voicing my opion til every woman that been through something and it dont happen again i will make it public just like theyhurt i and my son everyone will pay dearly its not so much about the money it our dignity that they ruine of i and my son

  81. J. Harris | June 5, 2013 at 5:51 pm |

    Here is the problem you have young immature people getting married playing house and they put their children well being at state for their selfish needs, we can give age limits to smoking and drinking lets give age limits to giving birth so no more children will have to suffer. The Birth mother should be jail no more children for her The birth father should have the child, no questions asked shame on the parents that raise the birth mother did not teach her what she needed to know to be a mother or an adult. We need to do more to protect these children from these young immature kids having kids. I am a x military wife, these two should have never married so what was wrong with this soldier apparently he really didnt know who he married put her in jail no more children for her any woman that could give her child away because her husband was in school for his job should be taught a lesson. Children should not be having children.

  82. makessensetome | January 7, 2013 at 4:23 pm |

    No that is not what I am saying at all and I believe you know it. I am a 10 yr navy spouse. My husband is gone most of the time. He missed half of my pregnancy and didn't get back until our daughter was 4 months old. Even underway in a war zone he contacted me as much as possible. I never felt abandoned or alone. People who make extreme decisions often do it out of desperation. Even bad choices when under duress are not easy to make. I am saying that there are two sides to every story.

  83. He wasn't deployed, he was in USA and could contact his wife at any time. He knew her due date, hospital, doctor, mother's number, something. It's suspicious to me, i think her actions were horrible, but i do believe he intended to leave her. We don't have specifics, but this isn't something that happens over night. People are really quick to bash other wives, but never hold the husband responsible for his part in all this. The whole situation makes me upset. This is cause and effect, because the husband hurt the wife, the wife hurt him and now he's trying to get his child back. Which is hurting the couple that adopted her. It will probably hurt the agency for taking the case in the first place. Situations like this are avoidable if people would just treat their spouses right.

  84. unnecessary comment on obama smh

  85. SGT SIMOES, LUIS M. | January 9, 2013 at 12:28 am |
  86. SGT SIMOES, LUIS M. | January 9, 2013 at 12:35 am |
  87. Easy 4 u 2 say. NOT all military spouses r aware of their rights. How many times have u been a single mother? The man contacts her 4 mos. AFTER the child is born? Was he REALLY interested in the welfare of this child?

  88. As a 20 year military spouse with a husband in Special Forces/Special Ops, I spent many times alone with our children. It was extremely tough at times, limited funds no knowledge of where my husband was and sometimes feeling a sense of abandonment. But being in that situation, I had a strong background of being raised in a family where commitment was the norm, not an option. I also had ( as I am unfortunately widowed) a spouse who was total family when he was with us. He was deserving of my support, love and commitment in return. Recognizing love, receiving it and giving it in return is sometimes family dynamics! One does not ever know what goes on behind closed doors either and there are some people who really are not aware of their rights. There are people who are take charge/independant, such as myself and others who absolutely cannot or will not do it because dependence is the easiest. Having God in my life was truly the answer for me and thanks to my parents for a Christian foundation! With all of that having been said was it the worst for the child to be adopted out? It does not sound like the birth mother was deserving of this precious little life either. Adoption was probably an answered prayer to this gift from God!

  89. Chris, I do so agree with you. I am the wife of a retired Army man, we've been married for over 32 yrs and if there is one thing I knew throughout our military career is that I had rights as a military spouse not to menition that there are so many sopport groups on post for spouses. I too feel she did this out of spite. . . the "I'll show him" attitude. If a parent cannot handle being a single partent for 4 months, wow! During my husbands career there were so many times due to his assignment and or due to geographic location I had to be a single parent to two young boys; this just really gets to me. . .being a military spouse or single parent takes a special kind of person, not saying that I am the best but when you become a military spouse you have to know what you may be in for!

  90. "throwing it away" would be abortion. Placing your child in a loving home for the benefit of the child – is love.

  91. Amy_Bushatz | January 7, 2013 at 7:44 pm |

    He says he did. She says he didn't. And the truth is ______?

  92. That's bull when my husband was in DI school I heard from him maybe 5 times during his training. And not a lack from him wanting to call daily or at least more often then what he was allowed. That was just part of the training along with the job, its not like you see your spouse often while they are a DI. Doesn't matter either way. She still does not have the right to dismiss his rights because he didn't call her often enough or because she felt abandoned. That is her issue. This is about a woman giving away a PERSON when there are two of them that have to make that decision, not her alone. This wasn't a boyfriend (which would still be wrong) but her husband. Some where along the lines she lied, and the state dropped the ball.

  93. Chris Brown | January 8, 2013 at 7:19 pm |

    Just remember those "ignorant service members" you reference, protect your ignorant ass and your right to call them that. P.S. It appears by your name, you are someone on the outside looking in. If you haven't been on active duty, you not your child, then your comments are null.

  94. You say "Dad waited 4 months to find out his kid has been adopted"-what about the mother? Doesn't she need to take responsibility to try to communicate with him also? To let him know the baby was born & that she planned on giving it up for adoption was her responsibility and if she didn't know how to get in touch with him or a number, then she should have gotten in touch with his Commander or Family Services through the military. And how did she manage to do this without his permission? Did she lie about not knowing who the father was? The Adoption people would have known how to go about getting in touch with him, if she didn't. They both are at fault here-he should have been in contact with her, knowing she was pregnant & when that child was due to be born-unless she didn't tell him! Somehting is wrong with this picture.

  95. Wilfredo Osorio | January 8, 2013 at 7:50 pm |
  96. He tried to contact her. She cut off all contact and cleaned their joint account out. It was all proven in court.

  97. Army Leader | January 8, 2013 at 7:59 pm |

    As a commander of multiple units, my last having over 7,300 Soldiers, I can attest that the Army takes care of its own. I have encountered many situations where the service member, the spouse and both have experienced abuse, financial issues, addiction, court cases, false testimonies, police intervention, lies, etc. Myself and my leaders have spent untold number of hours working with Soldiers and family members and visited them in hospitals, addiction treatment facilities, jails, detention facilities, etc. I have taken/recommended disciplinary action for military members and called to testify in the civil cases against/for both service members and spouses. I have seen numerous spouses not want to get involved, turn down opportunities to learn, and dismiss any help when offered. Finally, if someone encounters a "lack of support" at facilities, they can ask someone else for help at the facility (ACS, etc), their Spouses commander, the Inspector General, Family Support Group leader, etc.

  98. Army Leader | January 8, 2013 at 8:00 pm |

    Army Leader (2 of 2)
    I have worked with hundreds of professionals who pour their heart out every day supporting Soldiers and Family members; ie. medical care, victim advocates, substance abuse counselors, financial advisors, ACS employees, Doctors/Psychiatrist, etc. Additionally, I have emphasized myself, and throughout my lower leaders, Soldiers and Family members, to use the assets available and developed ways to communicate to them with great success. We also tracked every Soldier / Family that was at risk or needed assistance to ensure they received it.
    I have no idea what unit your spouse was in or at what time, but I have been in for over 22 years and have seen the amount resources (people, money, information, etc) the Army has devoted to support for Soldiers, Families, Dept of the Army Civilians. I can guarantee that the Army (Military) has more assets available than most/almost all civilian companies. So don't comment in absolutes about the Army

  99. Oh shut it! First of all, if you're going to quote SY, then take the whole context and not the part that fits your lame argument. She said both the service members and spouses were ignorant. And in this case she was referring to them not being aware of information, which is quite plausible in this situation. Therefore you're the one who has proved yourself ignorant. Furthermore, no one is debating the work and sacrifices that service members put forth. You jumped to that on your own. And I agree with what she said. You're statement that "she knew her rights" is an assumption on your part. Not everyone does. People only know, when they're informed and clearly, communication was not strong between these spouses. And I speak as a military of wife of an active duty member.
    On the other hand, SY, your comments about "screening" and "any HS dropout" make you sound just as judgmental as you accuse Chris of being.

  100. While I agree the birth mother was very wrong for giving up THEIR daughter without Dad's consent, the adoptive parents have done nothing wrong if it was a legal adoption. They were within the law to adopt this child and should not be punished, especially jailed, for wanting to legally bring a child in to their home to love. It is the details of this case that should be looked at not the fault of two people who got trapped in the middle of an ugly marital dispute unfortunately, involving a child

  101. She did what was best 4 the child. Men want children as long as they DONT have 2 take care of them 24/7. Being a parent is a job in itself. R u an offender?

  102. adoptive parents dont need to go to jail but they should give child to the childs dad since the mother went behind his back and gave up the child on her own and she should go to jail for doing that and being so self centered about her and not the baby and father

  103. P.S.- I must have accidentally misread, and I just noticed it said she did not PCS with him. In that case, she doesn't have much to complain about. That's her problem.

    But if that weren't the case, I'd stand by my original opinion.

  104. The fact that they were married when she gave birth should cancel out any adoption. One thing i find suspicious is that he knew she was due soon and didn't contact her, isn't that a bit odd? By that time you have the doctor and hospital picked out where you will deliver. Even if he couldn't contact her, he could contact the hospital or her doctor. It all sounds strange….

  105. As a male spouse dependent, and husband of a past Army drill instructor, I can tell you ALL of this "programs" are a joke!!!! They offer no real support and are nothing more than a program to talk about. The drill instructor environment is volotile and the chain of command was the worst we ever experienced. The environment and school fosters cheating and adultery among the drill instructors and blind eyes are turned by all.

    With that said, this lady did not have a right to do this to the child or its father.


  107. I agree marrying into the military is not an easy thing but im sorry you do know before marriage what you getting into . I knew i would give up my career i would move thousands of miles away from my family and that i might not see my husband for months/ a year before i said i do. I knew what i was giving up its not been self-righteous its thinking before jumping in, it weighing your pros and cons its deciding is this person really worthy of me giving up all this…. and after you have done all that and he is worthy and you say i do you know what you getting into, dont get me wrong it hard but he is 100% worth it. What is self-righteous is not thinking before making what should be one of the biggest commitments in your life and then bi@#h when its not what you expected. But its easy to devorce and its easy to pop out babes and its easy to get pregnant … because its easy to through babes away or give them away or abortion is a cool new birth control now days.that self-righteous!!!

  108. Agreed. Either way both parties are wrong. It's real easy to point the finger these days.

  109. The truth is that you need to read all of the actual reports before writing an extremely poor blog on partial information. This has gone through court and it was found with proof that Tira was financially supported by Terry. She admitted in court, under oath, that she refused to take any calls and refused to contact him. The courts ruled in Terry's favor for 1 big reason, SHE LIED. She cut contact and left 10 days after he went to Ft Jackson.
    "McDade found that Achane could not be said to have consciously abandoned or failed to provide for or develop a relationship with his child since her whereabouts were unknown to him until months after her birth and his wife, the Freis and the adoption agency "deliberately thwarted" any opportunity for him to have a relationship."

  110. Exactly. He had access to info, doctors, hospital she was delivering, etc. He wasn't deployed( don't know why people keep saying that) he was in the USA. If he couldn't get her at home, he had other ways to reach her. He knew her due date but wasn't concerned, really? It sounds like he had already left the picture and was expecting her to keep a baby he wanted. An adoption doesn't happen over night, there were other problems going on that the article leaves out. They are both wrong. People are blaming the adoption agency but they can only go by the info that the mother provides. Sometimes when soldiers leave their wives they do everything possible not to pay or help until you make them through their chain of command. This seems like revenge, so he probably was cheating….

  111. Mom cut off all contact within 10 days of his reassignment.
    1. Defense showed phone records attempting to contact mom, contacting hers and his family, contacting doctors, etc.
    2. She delivered the baby under Tricare, the military healthcare.
    3. The mom finally contacted Terry in June 2011, 3 months after the baby was born, to complain to his command that he was not giving her money. This is when she finally admitted what she did. He started fighting to get his daughter that day.
    4. This was her 3rd Army spouse at the age of 26.

  112. Although I think that she should have informed the father, I have to disagree with a few things. What is it with this crazy notion that spouses "know" what they are getting into before they marry a military member? Really? How would they know? Is there a school for this? I've heard people say this before and that's as foolish as saying that anyone should know what it's like to be married period. How?
    In addition, I truly think that you're experience with birthing and raising children alone is a great testament to your strength and abilities, but that doesn't speak for everyone. I have done it and am doing it now, but it's not for the faint of heart and we don't know this woman's emotional or mental state. I would rather she give the child up (after consulting the father) than to mistreat, neglect, or resent this child. There are too many horrible stories out there of children on doorsteps, in dumpsters, or drowned.
    As far as the adoptive parents, I am with you all the way. they are being selfish and if they get to keep this child, she is going to wonder about her biological parents one day. What are they going to say then? The honorable thing to do is give her back.

  113. You know you have a point and I think this story could have been worse. At least she adopted the kid out instead of murdering it as we see on the news all the time or abandoning it, starving it, etc.

  114. That was not the situation and you would know that if you read more then just this one article. Nor is this the first stunt she has pulled regarding a child and her father. She knew there was help as she was a military spouse prior. Court records showed he did not abandon her financially and tried to make contact through family, and when she didn't pay the bills as he left her with most of their money while being under the impression that she and the kids were going to be moving with him, she lost the vehicle to repo. He then got her a vehicle through a friend. All this is already hitting 2 years so this is all public record, fact is the guy tried. So yes to me it is that simple. Whether or not some people should be parents or not (and I know a few as I'm sure we all do) is not for one person/parent to decide alone. Her abandonment was 10 days. And yes she admitted that in court. They created a situation but it wasn't a situation of poor little woman all alone with no help. Either way still comes down to she doesn't have the right to dismiss his rights as a parent yet she did exactly that by having a baby in a state that is known to not do their due diligence in adoptions. I have been in a real situation of actually being left alone and pregnant, so yes it's a situation I have been in. Like I said I believe this is a black and white situation she was wrong!

  115. Ummm, they had a joint account (which she was using and cleaned out), all of the bills were paid by allotment, and she told him she would move to SC after the baby was born but wanted to be near her family for the birth. Tell me again how this is abandonment and not supporting them financially?

  116. He did try to find out info about her dr visits and info about delivery, but that is dr patient confidentiality. He was not allowed that information. When he found out through her family what she had done he called the same day to find his daughter. She also did admit in court to avoiding his phone calls and when she didn't pay the cell bill she avoided him when he went through family members. He did support her financially also in court documents.

  117. Ok I hope I'm remembering this right. We went to co Chaplin, commander, post commander and filled with the state. I know there was more as we went to each we received more recommendations of who else to go to. I am waiting for her to call me back with more information on what else we did and I will pass it to you as I get it. We also put flyers (which we did get a slap on the wrist for) and put an ad in the local post paper. That got his chain of command moving lol. I know that was probably a bit much but she did what she had to do. I will write again when I hear from her

  118. I went on to read more about it and it does say that he planned to come back for the birth. He knew the due date and it never explained why he never made the trip. He had someone drive by their house to see if she was there, how is that contacting her? It wasn't until after March that he started calling her sister and other family. After she contacted his command for the second time is when they talked for the first time. I think her abandonment was more emotional, it is possible for a male to check out of the situation while still at home. It all sounds odd, they seem to leave some info out to make him look like a saint. This is the first time i've heard this story and if you just read the article above it leaves you wondering what really happened. The entire thing is really messed up, but i hope he gets his daughter back.

  119. I don't have the extra details, only this one article, but I will say that NO ONE can say he only "abandoned" her for 10 days, as NO ONE knows what their relationship was like before he left. NO ONE knows all the details of their relationship before or after the PCS.

  120. Either way I enjoyed debating with you TNB. I think we both did good! Take care

  121. Chris Brown | January 9, 2013 at 4:32 am |

    have you served? Prob not! Or else you wouldn't be saying that crap! A true service member never publicly calls out another one, especially like that.

  122. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 6:14 am |

    What lack of facts? Why do you feel the need to know all of the intimate details of their personal life? If you've read any articles so that you can make an INFORMED comment instead of your highly inflammatory speculation, you would know that the intformation that has been released to the media is a matter of FACT from court records. When Tira gave her version, the judge found her not to be credible. Even if SSG. Achane was a cheater, does that mean that his wife had the right to give away their CHILD? Oh and by the way, your postpartum depression theory has no creedence as she went to Utah BEFORE she had the child and was living in an apt for adoptive mothers before she gave birth.

  123. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 6:16 am |

    I need you to do some other reading, because to be honest, your spreading of ignorant theories is quite antagonizing.

  124. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 6:18 am |

    Again. If someone turns off their phone and leaves no information, how was he supposed to contact her? Telepathy? She deliberately avoided contacting him..

  125. She was due to deliver at the end of March. She was prematurely induced by the adoption agency's contract hospital almost 4 weeks before the due date so he would not know she delivered. She only contacted the command once, 3 months after the delivery and 4 months after cutting all contact with him, demanding money from his command. That is when she finally admitted what she did to their daughter. Her family refused to give him any info and so did her doctor. She his in another state with other family members after leaving Utah. This was all proven in court.

  126. This is the worst generalization i have ever seen. How can you even say this with a straight face? I know plenty of single dads taking care of their kids just fine. My dad raised me all by his lonesome and never complained that he felt abandoned nor that no one loved him, and he sure as hell wasn't going to put me up for adoption. Enough with the generalizations. Also please spell out your words. I don't take your opinion seriously when you use numbers instead of letters.

  127. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 10:39 am |

    Yes, and he's fighting this hard for his child because he CLEARLY doesn't want her.

  128. I am offended, by your use of the English language. Is it REALLY that difficult to type up those extra letters and not look like an idiot?

  129. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 10:39 am |

    The adoptive parents are 100% in the wrong. First of all, they are not adoptive parents. That petition was denied. Right now, they are simply keeping Leah against the will of her biological father and custodial parent. They were also aware of the situation prior to Leah being placed with them, still proceeded, and then when Acahne asked for his daughter back they are the ones who made this fight go on so long. He asked for his daughter in 2011, when she was a few months old. Not only this, they have 4 biological children and one adopted child. They tried to adopt Leah so they would have another Black child sibling for the adopted boy. That alone is not a good reason to adopt a child. They have also solicited over $22,000 from the public to keep a child they knew that they had no claim to.

  130. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 11:39 am |

    There are other articles online that shed more light. He tried to contact her but she cut off her phones, left the family home, and the state.

  131. I agree that your spouse's unit gives out detailed info when the husband deploys, but he wasn't deployed. He was in the USA, while there's no excuse for what she did, people need to stop dismissing the fact that we have some less than perfect service members. This is the problem with the military community, they glorify service members even when they're in the wrong. Her reasons seem suspect, and her allegations of lack of support were proven wrong financially. They were already in marriage counseling before he left. I don't think anyone is trying to justify her actions by saying we have ignorant service members.

  132. According to his story, she wasn't paying the bills so her phone was turned off. The courts have proven that he supported her financially, but the emotional abandonment might be true. They were already in marriage counseling before he left to SC, according to her he knew she didn't want the baby. It is kind of odd that he waited to after her due date to contact her doctor and sister. He had someone drive by the house first to see if they were there, weird. He also planned to come home for the birth but they never explained why he never made the trip. He claimed he planned to come back and take her with him but he didn't. I can only assume that she didn't want him to request to go to SC and he went anyway, she didn't want the baby but he encouraged her to keep it anyway. You can make someone resent you if you force your will upon them. She's was wrong, there's no excuse.

  133. Nyoka Pedist-Tibideaux | January 9, 2013 at 12:07 pm |
  134. Way to go political nut! Take that crap to the correct thread. Being selfish started with Obama? Oh boy, you're a sad individual. Are you so brainwashed that you can't have a simple conversation and stay on the subject? Your political opinion shouldn't spill over into every issue.

  135. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 12:26 pm |

    Who is claiming that this man is perfect? Are you in the military? If not, then wow, I don't know what some soldier did to you, but please stop projecting it onto this issue.

  136. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm |

    You and your assumptions. Sometimes DS are ordered to DS school. It's not a choice. It's not "according to his story"…it is "according to facts in evidence in court and assessed by the judge". Are you Tira? Because the way you keep putting the onus on SSG. Achane is fascinating.

  137. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 12:30 pm |

    She wasn't a first time mother though. She has a daughter from a previous relationship that Terry was also taking care of.

  138. This is just another case for returning to the "interview the spouse" ideas of years ago. Maybe if that was done again all the cheating, abuse, abandonment, etc would stop. It would be found out that the fiance is not the type of person to be a military spouse. We are a special bread and we have even more special breads among us.

    I just hope this sweet baby girl ends up where she is loved, cherished, and encouraged to be a strong, intelligent, independant woman.

  139. Yes, i did more research because this article left a lot of questions. They were in marriage counseling for trust issues so him cheating wasn't too far off. Yes, she was supported financially, it seems that they had emotional issues. I think you should calm down, this info is not in the article above so you are left with assumptions if you don't already know the story.

  140. Agent00DivaCee | January 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm |

    Wow. You are a piece of work. First of all, it said counseling for issues, but didn't say what issues. Second of all, who is to say that HE was the cheater. I've been around the military my whole entire life and served too, and I've seen more wives cheat than the husbands. But that is why before you comment on a BLOG you should read the SOURCE article for information…

  141. No articles said counseling was for trust issues. She also was on her 3rd marriage, his first. Yep, she was married to 3 different Army Soldiers when she was 22, 24, and 26 years old.

  142. She never said selfishness started with Obama…comprehend what you read before you comment….just stated it is easier to abort than get dental care under Obama, referencing the national health care….again, comprehend what you read before replying…you'll look more intelligent if you do…

  143. NurseKellie | January 9, 2013 at 4:19 pm |

    Finally read a little more. I am appalled by the adoption agency. The mother is not even from there??? That is human trafficking!!! The adoptive parents should see that. I know that they are saddened and grieving but right is right. I saw where the adoptive parents say that this adoption is "a righteous desire blessed to fruition by God….”there has never been any question to us that she is OURS!!!” Well hopefully after their grief has subsided some, they will realize that Our Almighty God, who is loving, and merciful would never desire a child to be away from a parent that loves them. The judge has ruled in favor or the father, and that is great! I however think that 60 days is too long to make the father wait to get her back. :(

  144. I completely agree with you, one of the most coherent answers I've read in this article.

  145. One gets out of any relationship, personal, professional, social, what they are willing to put into it. I am a retired Army vet of 25+ years serving in personnel administration. Service members are 'sponsors' of their family members who receive considerable benefits. The relationship between the Branch and family is based primarily on the member/sponsor and the family relationship. Any family member has access to services through the chain of command, medical, ACS and others as iterated by Army Leader. The assistance received is also based on the cooperation of the family members seeking that assistance. There is a saying, 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease,' which is true in any case. As for me, I took care of soldiers because I cared about doing so, not because I had to and I believe my efforts were appreciated.

  146. Agent00DivaCee | January 10, 2013 at 8:47 am |

    I've been around the military my whole life in one aspect or another and I've ALWAYS found them to be helpful. Sorry things didn't work out for you, but don't generalize because you didn't have an ideal experience.

  147. Agent00DivaCee | January 10, 2013 at 8:52 am |

    At the same time, she did have the choice to give Leah to her father and move on with her life. How would that have been any different than giving her child away to total strangers? I'm pro choice ALL the way, but what she did was wrong plain and simple and she clearly did it for spite. She said, "I'd rather see Leah struggle with me than be with her father." It wasn't about the baby, it was about her not wanting to have 2 children and possibly be a single mother.

  148. Though I am pro choice I also know I am an individual woman not an extension of my husband or his career even though being a military family is a life style. I am supportive to him as he is to me. Either way this isn't the topic or the situation pertaining to this woman and what she did. She didn't do what was best for the baby she did what she wanted for herself. This was nothing more then an act of a giant vengeful temper tantrum that played with other peoples life.

  149. Agent00DivaCee | January 10, 2013 at 9:04 am |

    Considering the fact that the baby was born under Tricare, she withdrew $500 from joint checking, he was paying for the house and got her a car when he was gone and hers was repossessed, her situation was not yours. I feel for you, but her situation was not yours. I will say that any issue that I've had with anyone in the military, both when I was in and out, was taken care of and that is by different commands and even different branches. I've been around the military for 26 years, so I'm pretty confident to say that the Army will take care of its own. What it isn't, is the Soldier's parent so if something wasn't done to your satisfaction, that is why there are civilian courts.

  150. mongolberry | January 10, 2013 at 9:24 am |

    You shouldn't marry or have a baby with a man you aren't sure will stay and help you raise a child either, it's a two way street. I would trust my husband with my life and I was absolutly sure I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life before we married and had our children. I was sure he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life raising a family with me, not a gamble at all. He is a military man, so of course he is busy with his career, he can't just call or come back whenever he wants to.

  151. She took off to a place they didn't discuss and had the baby in a place he didn't know to look for her. He looked in places he thought she would or should be. None of their friends and relatives knew where she was staying or what happened to the baby.

    The agency informed the Frei family (the adoptive couple) were informed from the beginning that the father was not onboard and if he found out before the adoption it would be 'a problem.'

  152. She cut off all contact, turned off her phone, and refused to talk to him. Her family also would not answer questions, nor would her doctor. It was all proven in court.

  153. Ssg. Achane made arrangements to bring Ms. Bland with him; however, she changed her mind and decided to stay in Texas for the duration of her pregnancy. Ten days after his departure, she decided to give up the baby. Ten days!!! Also, he continued supporting her financially, as well as attempted to remain in contact with her. She cut off all contact. That is why he did not know when Teleah was born.

  154. Just because he is in the U.S. doesn't mean he could contact her, drill instructor school is very hard kind of like basic, and even if there are phones or computers nearby which there might not be ( there are special post just for training that are like that. ), you would be very busy and exhausted everyday. I'm not saying yay or nay but the wife's actions are extremely suspect to me. I feel the worst for the adopting parents and the baby.

  155. bellybutton92 | January 18, 2013 at 9:17 am |

    "People are really quick to bash other wives, but never hold the husband responsible for his part"? I'm sorry but that's complete bull****. In most custody cases the woman wins, not because she is the better parent but because she is the mom. If a woman is abused by her husband he can go to jail. If he is the one abused it is ignored. Women are allowed to do just about anything they want without worrying about legal blame. Yes this situation is messed up and there are too many unknown factors, but to say that husbands are never held responsible is ridiculous.

  156. It was her 3rd marriage to an Army Soldier. She knew where to go.

  157. She decided she wanted an abortion at 6 MONTHS which is illegal in Texas I believe. She threatened him with it when he got orders to go. This was her 3rd marriage to a Soldier by the age of 26.

  158. Linda, I understand your position, but 30 years ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. I was unmarried and planning on entering the US Army. I wanted to give him up for adoption, but my mother talked me out of doing it. I wasnt ready to raise a child all alone as I watched my own mother raise 6 alone. It was really painful to watch as she was uneducated(high school dropout) and impoverished. I was selfish and wanted my life to myself, I didnt want to repeat what I had seen. I wasnt able to enter the military because I had no one to take care of my child (not even my mother would help me), so I found myself hopping from job to job to provide. I finally did settle down to raise my son and daughter in poverty. It was tiring, often frustrating and financially taxing, but I raised them both to respect themselves and become an asset to society. I leaned on God's strength through reading the Bible. So, in short, I can truely understand why the mother went behind the father's back and gave her child up for adoption. it was her perceived struggle of raising a child alone. But what she didnt understand is that once you give birth, that child(ren) will always be your concern whether you raise them or not.

  159. Agent00DivaCee | January 10, 2013 at 1:43 pm |

    I think it's safe to assume that a Soldier did TNB wrong and that's why they post the way that they do. Most of her posts are in reference to Terry possibly cheating or being otherwise to blame for the actions of his wife.

  160. This was actually her 3rd Army spouse……

  161. They are also saying that they will not turn her over to her father and have put in an appeal. This is far from over

  162. Google search "Terry Achane" and you will get the actual facts of this case. This "article" is poorly written and meant to inflame people, not tell the truth.

  163. Either way none of that is really relevant to the issue of what she did was wrong! And there is a ton of information out there, most importantly court documents. Agent00DivaCee has put out a lot of info for those who,for whatever reason they choose are not informing themselves before they are making their comments based on this one 10 paragraph article.

  164. It was already proven in court. She told him she wanted to stay in Texas for the birth because her family was there. He reported to duty, she skipped town. She also admitted in court that she refused to answer his calls. She had this planned.

  165. The fact of the matter is she did know her rights, where to get info, and help. That was admitted by her in court, and also the fact that this was not her first go around with the military. Ignorance or stupidity is not a defense, and that is what so many people are using to justify what she did or how she felt. There is no reason to be ignorant to a situation with so many tools at the palms of our hands, this is just her scapegoat along with her claim of supposedly being abandoned.

  166. That remark is completely uncalled for! So much I would love to school you on, but this is neither the time or place for it. Grow up.

  167. Agent00DivaCee | January 11, 2013 at 5:13 pm |

    No. It wasn't. There is a loving father in the picture who is clearly interested in being a parent, as he has been fighting for almost 2 years to get her back.

  168. THANK YOU!! Your straight forward comments are much needed her. Crucifying one party over another is not the correct answer here and will not help other women in this situation because they ARE out there.

  169. Agent00DivaCee…I ask again why you are SO involved. You responded a million times on this thing like you have a personal attachment. I can see that you are passionate about this but it never seems you open your mind and consider other people at all. Like you have told several commentors on this post…that is YOUR view and YOUR story so your perspective is very different. The fact that you are a spouse and was active duty yourself…TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE. As a non-military spouse and former FRG leader let me educate you that there are LOADS of women/men who DO feel abandoned an do not learn their rights for several reasons. I have had several service members say they prefer their spouse not get too involved, etc. It makes their lives complicated. Am I bashing the military?…absolutely NOT…I would be bashing my entire family. There are extremely honorable men and women serving this country but have come to realize that not everyone wearing the uniform falls into that category.

    You also keep alluding to the judge finding her to not be credible…let me also say that while justice is suppose to be blind…it doesn't always happen. Judges are human, just like us…and they make mistakes and/or bring their personal feelings into a case sometimes; HENCE, appellate courts. Please DO support your cause…I encourage this, but DO NOT bash a woman unless you are intimately involved in the case. Simply say you empathize with the gentleman and move on.

  170. Actually, the problem lies with the fact that she is cutting through the normal military wife drama and telling the actual thruths on the case. If you "ladies" would take 5 minutes to do a simple google search it would give you the answers. Instead, you all want to play the drama queen, rumor-mill, gossip games.

  171. BTW, it isn't an opinion or point of view when it was already proven in court. Maybe you should rethink the ignorance comment to someone that actually has knowledge on this case and maybe look towards yourself instead.

  172. And you Sweet Jazz are obviously too interested in rumors and drama than to take 5 minutes to google the actual facts. Look at yourself before making comments at someone that does actually know the case.

  173. The good news is that the judge in this case was absolutely appalled at the behavior of the birth mother, the adoption agency, and the adoptive couple.

    The adoption did not go forward and they have been ordered to relinquish on the 16th. They asked for a stay pending appeal, but that was denied (they're appealing that too).

    Hopefully Sgt. Achane and his daughter will be together soon.

  174. Actually Jazz, straight forward answers are available in this case if you stop with the drama and name calling on all of these threads.

  175. Jazz, FRG= Frequent Rumors and Gossip. If you would shut up for 2 seconds and actually walk away from the drama, you can google search the truth in this case. The truth is exactly what Diva has typed time and time again. It's the spouses like you that cause the problem for military spouses as a whole and you are too pathetic to even see it.

  176. Once again you Jazz are more interested in drama than the truth. Look at yourself befor putting Diva down and take 2 seconds to do a google search. You and others like you are the reason military wives get bad reputations.

  177. They have now had the baby for 22 months because they have refused to give her back. They are still fighting to keep her even now after the judge ruled they are nothing more than "legal strangers".

  178. Jaggirl47,

    YOU obviously need to do your research…now while I will apologize for how this thread appeared. It put my original answer on the wrong thread, my ORIGINAL comment was not about the facts of this story but about making clear generalizations. I simply corrected what Agent00DivaCee said. she fired back and it went from there…NOW on to you…I DID, in fact, read the entire store and think there is way more to this story but like I said from the beginning (which you clearly missed)…the woman was WRONG. THe man was wrong also…there is fault on both side. I am not clearly convince he is a victim but that they both made poor emotional choices.

    To your FRG comment…its unfair and unfounded. Plenty of FRG are great when run by good leaders. I have heard the horror stories so understand your comment, but there are good ones out there also. Always in gossip, etc….but do not generalize. Negative people is what needs to be cleared out the organization to help it do what it was designed for…to keep the family informed and connected. THAT what the basis of ALL my comments to one person.

    Thank you for your comments and again…there is no point in any of us getting emotionally involved in something that we may never know about all the facts (not everything is allowed into court…the attorney even stated that not all facts can be published because it is still in litigation). We simply need to do what is in the best interest of this child. Clear cut…

  179. Ma' have no idea what you are referring to. You have no clue about me and YOU are making military wives look bad. Like you ask me to do…research before you comment.

  180. Jaggirl47,

    It appears you are spurring more drama than sweetjazz. As a commander in the United States Marine, I can tell you for a fact that unfortunately there are too many stories like what she mentions. I think we all agree that this woman was clearly wrong but when stating all military wives or FRG looks back. I take personal offense to that. My unit's FRG is run smoothly and we are like a family. They made sure our men were taken care of kept the wives calm. I have also run into stories that are unfortunate about abandonment. I must admit, I also had serious doubts about this soldier. I then looked up the article and felt better how this may have went on the soldiers side. I still say there is more to this story.

    I think sweetjazz's original point was before research and about how a spouse can fall through the cracks. You do the exact same thing by attacking her story and I pray you are not a military wife because that is a poor representation as well.

  181. Jazz, you have shown yourself time and again in attacking Diva that you are one of those that involve yourself in the drama. I know for a fact that Diva knows almost everything about this case. Instead of taking the time to listen to someone that does know the details surrounding this case, you attack.
    Now, as far as the FRG comment, yes it is completely fair. It is the same no matter what duty station you are at, what unit you are involved with, or who the leader is. Military wives thrive on drama. I have been around it for almost 20 years and have seen hundreds of FRG's. It is always the same.
    Now, as far as "emotionally involved", it isn't about emotions, it's about right and wrong, truth and lies.

  182. Interesting how my comments are getting deleted. My guess is that you are reporting them.

    Now, as far as the case, I know WAY more info about it than you ever will due to reasons that you obviously cannot or refuse to comprehend. It would do you good to realize that many people know way more than you.

    As far as the FRG, it is not unfair or unfounded. It happens every duty station in every FRG.

    Now, as far as your comments, take a few to realize there are many that know way more than you do concerning this case.

  183. In reply about not getting emotionally involved I completely disagree, if people don't then things like this are prone to happen again. It is the people that get themselves involved that make change. I'm not going to argue with you about FRG, I'm sure there are some helpful and good ones out there, but in my 18 years experience the FRG has been nothing more then a bunch of women trying to wear their husbands rank and running their mouth with gossip, grown women acting like high schoolers. Like I said my experience though it has obviously been many others experience also. So much so that it alone has caused controversy.

  184. Actually, I do know what I am referring to and I also know Diva's involvement in this case. You would do better if you stop commenting and calling her names on every thread she comments on and actually read what she posts.

  185. Again deleted comments? Hmmm, guess you are not willing to hear the truth and are reporting me Jazz.

    I have a great bit of experience as to what I am referring to. It's called close to 20 years of experience both as a service member and as a wife to a senior ranking SM. You are the type that end up getting laughed at and black-listed due to your attitude and refusing to listen to anyone else. Diva knows a great deal about this case and I know even more. It would be good for you to realize that instead of spreading ignorant comments.

  186. USMC Dad, Nah, I'm only commenting on Jazz's comments. She has chased Diva on all of her comments, called her multiple names, and has been downright rude.
    Now, as far as the FRG's, yes they may run smoothly when you are there but many things happen when you are not. It does not matter where you are or what unit you are in (or really, what branch of service). It is filled with drama, rumors, and gossip. That is why FRG members have bad raps. They may not realize it but the irritation and comments are there. This comment is comment directly from a person who was both the military rep for a battalion FRG as well as a spouse who has to be involved with the FRG due to her husband's position-me. I have seen it from both angles. ;)

  187. Nah, it's called Jazz is following Diva around making rude comments and calling her names. Diva actually does have more info than the average person on this case and I have even more.
    As far as FRG's, as long as you are there then they are fubctioning as they should be. ;) I have been on both sides, military and spouse, at multiple duty assignments through almost 20 years.
    Now, Jazz does show why FRG's end up with bad reps. Going off at the mouth with little to no actual information or truth and calling people names when they do in fact have the knowledge.

  188. You mean like you have chased her? You both are wrong but she appears to speak from a bad experience. I think she even said she was divorced and said the woman was wrong. I feel sorry for your FRG and your husband. I take her to be young but you are not. I would to love to know what piss poor unit you came from because we never attack our own. Grow up. Hoorah!

  189. "Never attack our own" have you read all of sweetjazz's comments? Because if you had you would see she was the one making attacks and insinuations. Yourself included withe the "i feel sorry for your husband" remark. When you make ignorant remarks then you have to expect some come backs. I have to agree with jaggirl that your FRG may run smoothly when you are around, but maybe do some private inquires. I am sure there are some good FRGs out there, but obviously not many by the amount of articles and stories out there. God knows I have one that puts many to shame, but this is not the time or place. Not to mention a previous article on another Military site where the topic was should we do away with the FRG, the majority was YES. Why? because of the immaturity and high school attitude of the spouses. I would love to see a good program for spouses especially the new ones. I just won't hold my breath waiting for it.

  190. Nah. Actually, I came on to post what actually happened in the case after reading this horrible writing. I came across comments made to Diva by Jazz, then kept seeing even more. I'm sorry, but I will not sit by and let someone who is obviously extremely ignorant continue to write the comments and names without saying something about it. Jazz has actually stalked me and has been straight out rude on posts I started because of her ignorance and obvious love for drama and rumors.

  191. This woman wasn't abandoned. Sgt. Achane continued to pay the mortgage, utilities, phone, etc. He arranged for her to have a vehicle when she had hers repossessed. In the 10 days between the time he left and she took off, she spent about $500 from the joint bank account on fast food, beauty supplies, etc.

    Utah is a haven state for predatory adoption agencies. She said in an interview that she would rather live in poverty with her child than let 'that man' raise his daughter. She left BEFORE she gave birth, not after. It was her intent to do so all along – you cannot make those kind of arrangements in 10 short days.

    The adoptive couple has until Wednesday to relinquish. They've pulled out all the stops to make it as difficult as possible for Sgt. Achane.

  192. Google it – he tried to contact Bland but she wouldn't answer her phone. She evaded his attempts at contact.

  193. The adoption agency is about to lose it's license. It was already on a provisional when this happened.

    It should happen to a few more.

  194. Placing your child illegally up for adoption while hiding out and refusing to contact the father = spiteful

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