It’s one thing to wish the deployment would never come. It is quite another to have that wish come true. When the carrier Harry S. Truman cancelled deployment within days of departure due to budget concerns, it left a lot of families not knowing quite what to do next. How do you plan for the unplannable?
Daniela’s husband was scheduled to do his first deployment on the TRUMAN. When they found out about the cancellation they were in shock. Daniela wrote, “We looked at each other and simultaneously said, ‘What do we do now?’
Daniela is in school at her local community college in TX. She lives with her parents. She wrote Military.com’s Ms. Vicki asking, “We’re newlyweds, and I’m not sure what I should do! I could move to be with him in Norfolk or I can stay here. We have no idea when he leaves, if he leaves. Thankfully all our stuff is packed in my apartment. We didn’t sell cars or furniture.”
Daniela is looking for some tips or advice. I have a few things in mind to get her started, but I would love to know what you would do with a cancelled deployment. What would you tell Daniela and all the other family members attached to the USS TRUMAN? I’d start with:
This is a weird time. Cancellations of deployments don’t happen very often, so it is hard to predict what will happen next. Since 2010, our country has maintained a two carrier presence in the Persian Gulf. That has now changed. What will happen next? No one really knows for sure. Not even the Secretary of Defense.
Military life is lived in spurts, not stretches. It would be great if the military would give you a blow-by-blow plan of exactly what will happen next. That ain’t gonna happen. Decide to do the best you can with what you know now and deal with tomorrow when it comes.
Expect your sailor to be bummed. Our servicemembers miss us as much as we miss them–so there is a part of them that is glad not to deploy. But the deployment is a time of training for them. Deployment is a time sailors are using the skills they have learned. Taking the ship out on deployment is the point of being in the Navy. So expect a little professional disappointment—and don’t take it personally.
Be here now. If I were Daniela, I would come to Norfolk now. Texas is too far away to geobach. So I would jump right in and get an apartment and be with my beloved while we could. I would contact Tidewater Community College (I love those people) and get them to help me transfer my credits. I would not wait until I was promised a long time to be together before I moved. I would take the cancellation as an opportunity to start our married life together. Right now.
But that’s just me. What kind of tips or advice would you offer Daniela? Should she stay in Texas with her parents until the situation sorts itself out? Or should the couple assume they are staying in Norfolk ashore for the foreseeable future?
About Jacey Eckhart
Comments
I am doing the geobach thing from approximately the same distance as she is. It's hard but doable. She needs to decide what is most important right now. I know from listening to my husband talk about work is that everything is in a high degree of flux for the Navy right now. So I am not sure I would be making plans that cancelled is going to remain cancelled or not just yet.
Finish the quarter or semester and take some time to plan. It will work itself out.
Around the same time my husband deployed, a nearby National Guard Unit's deployment was cancelled 2 weeks before they were set to leave. At first I thought it would be awesome, then I thought of all the scrambling we would have had to do if his deployment was cancelled, and I'm not sure I would want it to be. We had just sold his car and moved into a place that was more deployment friendly, planning on some of that deployment pay to make things work. He had notified his college he wasn't coming back for a year. Many girls I knew had moved in with their parents. We were emotionally and physically prepared for the separation. I really feel for anyone that has a deployment cancelled. It is such a 180 degree turn, especially if you know the deployment might just be rescheduled. I also agree with moving to be with her husband. Even if it's short term, even if it's just a few weeks, you need to capture every little bit of time you have together! In the military there are so many times you can't be together, if you don't jump on the times that it's difficult but doable to be together, you will regret it later. Trust me. Almost any sacrifice is worth that time.
I think it's always important to be there if you can, no matter how long you have or how long he'll be there or how up in the air everything is. The time with him is important, and I personally wouldn't want to be anywhere else but at his side. That's military life, you have to take the time you have with your spouse when you can, no matter when it is, because if you don't you'll be kicking yourself later. And you never know how long it will be before you get that chance again.
Cherish every moment you can spend with your Military spouse. My husband had a 24 year Navy career, with multiple carrier deployments. He suffered from PTSD and multiple injuries from secret recon missions into Viet Nam so many years ago when he was dropped in country by helicopter to try to rescue our downed pilots. Because they were secret missions, we could find no documentation and he could not get 100% disability for his injuries. He passed away a few short months ago. He suffered from multiple health problems, probably caused by Agent Orange exposure—heart, lung, diabetes, constant pain in his feet from neuropathy, etc. Aircraft carrier cruises were 8 to 11 months long during the height of the Viet Nam War. I cherish every moment that I was able to be with him before, during, and after his military career. Don't miss a moment of time you could spend with your spouse, and always "Bloom wherever you are Planted."
Be happy, be very happy because you will be facing another deployment, just not right now. More than likely the next deployment will have a shorter lead time to get ready because they are going to have to reshuffle the schedule with this canceled deployment and overhauls being pushed down the road too. Bottom line however is enjoy the time you have because it is NEVER enough.
I see a cancelled deployment as a blessing. Albeit, you'll have to rearrange your plans and living situation, but those are all temporary problems that can be solved. Time together is precious – take it and run!