What language do you speak? This might seem like an easy question, but I found out that I speak more languages than I thought.
Before we were invited to Oprah’s Life Class,” my husband and I were not effectively communicating with one another and trust was lost. We could not seem to relate to one another anymore to even communicate the problems we were having.
Then we got to talk to Dr. Gary Chapman about his best selling book The 5 Love Languages. The episode will air on OWN February 10. He told us that we all have a primary way in which we feel loved. This class is often taught at Strong Bonds retreats and other military marriage classes. Expect to learn that there are five ways people give and receive love are:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Acts of Service
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Quality Time
5) Physical Touch
I knew right away that my love language was quality time. My husband tied for both physical touch and quality time. At that moment, a lightbulb went off. We weren’t speaking each other’s language! It was simple; we needed to speak each other’s language to be successful in our marriage.
After we realized this, it all made sense. My husband normally used physical touch to show his love language, but that wasn’t my language at all. According to Dr. Chapman, that is the problem with a lot of us. We use our language, the one that primarily speaks to us, to show love to our partners and not theirs. The trick is to learn your partner’s language and how to speak it. I am finding out that learning another language is fun! Especially if your partner’s love language is physical touch (wink).
Military life can be especially hard on most marriages. A strong marriage is especially critical in the military because our dedication to accomplishing the mission. Both Oprah and Dr. Chapman addressed this during the show. Dr. Chapman seemed dedicated to saving marriages and has worked with many military families in preserving the family unit. I am excited for this new found insight on my marriage and I am excited to use it to relate to others as well.
So again I ask, what language do you speak?
Amber Turner is an Air Force spouse currently stationed in New York State. Amber told SpouseBuzz, “I am a 26 years old and a mother of two, who tries to find balance in life as a military spouse, a mother, and everything in between while staying fit and healthy. I have always been affiliated with the military in some degree but still have so much to learn about this life as a military spouse. You can read more about my journey at www.HippyFitMom.com.”