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What Not to Do at a Military Ball (By a 1SGT)

We spouses like to bicker about what our husbands’ leadership must think about the attire of spouses, girlfriends, partners and Milsos at the ball. This time we decided to ask. Here, straight from the source, is one Army First Sgt.’s (E-8) instructions for spouses at the ballpresented as only a First Sgt. could.

As an Army first sergeant, there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t see issues that can be avoided if soldiers and their spouses would just talk about military life, its expectations and find their own middle ground.

However, I know it’s hard to tell your spouse how the military expects him or her to act. It’s even harder when it comes to military balls. How do you tell your spouse that their behavior and attitude isn’t “appropriate” at the company party?

In my 27-years as an Infantryman, I’ve seen a lot and I always tell it like it is. Of all the things that have happened at balls (and of those listed below only one didn’t), there are a few categories that always makes the list of don’ts.

What NOT to wear:

1. Knee-high boots with 4-inch heels and a skin-tight leotard jumpsuit is not military ball attire.

2. Sheer outfits, transparent dresses and no appropriate underclothing is not a good combination.

3. Wearing matching plaid outfits to the ball isn’t necessary to prove that you’re truly a team.

4. How you dress does reflect on your spouse regardless of rank–officer or NCO. Whether at the ball, an FRG meeting or a Hail and Farewell—how you dress affects your soldier. Period.

How NOT to eat:

1. Dinner isn’t like it is at Olive Garden — it’s not an all you can eat buffet.

2. Please don’t “order-in” pizza or Buffalo wings because you don’t care for what’s being served.

3. This is not musical chairs: don’t change your assigned seating because you don’t like who’s at your table.

4. Silverware, dinnerware, centerpieces and glassware are not to be considered party favors unless they are printed with the name of the event and you are invited to take them home.

It’s Just Not Authorized:

1. While in the receiving line, it’s not necessary to hug everyone in your spouse’s chain-of-command.

2. The colors being retired isn’t code for “Let’s get this party started.”

3. “Dropping it low” is not the equivalent of freestyle ballroom dancing.

4. Don’t even think about bringing the “purse-puppy” to the ball because you couldn’t find a pet-sitter.

5. This isn’t grade school — making out on the dance floor is not cool anymore.

On the subject of “beverages:”

1. There isn’t a prize at the end of the ball for the attendee who consumes the most shots.

2. You may think coming to the ball already inebriated make you more social … it really doesn’t.

3. The whole platoon buying rounds for the guest-speaker (before his speech), isn’t the best way to make a lasting impression on leadership.

4. Sip, don’t gulp when a toast is made.  And, please, don’t finish the glass with each toast.

5. If you’re not asked to make a toast … don’t.

And for the gents concerning Household Six:

1.Never bring your buddy’s ex-girlfriend as your date.

2. The ball isn’t the place to hook-up with someone else’s date.

3. Just bring a relative or come alone; it’s better than bringing a professional date.

About Corinne Lincoln-Pinheiro

Corinne Lincoln-Pinheiro is a journalist by trade, a blogger, creative writing instructor and business owner. She has a Bachelor's in English and a Master's in Writing. She's written for various newspapers including Joint Base Lewis-McChord's The Ranger, the Airlifter, The Pacific Northwest Veterans, and two online magazines -- JBLM Spouses and JBLM Singles. Corinne writes for the Killeen Daily Herald newspaper (http://kdhnews.com/blogs/health_springs/), and her military blog (http://www.rankandfile.blog.com) profiles interviews, articles and editorials on issues surrounding military life. Her family is currently stationed at Fort Hood, TX.

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