The dental assistant asked me, “Is there a chance that you could be pregnant?”
Part of me said, “Yes!! It’s in the water! Everyone gets pregnant here.”
I could say that at least 30 percent of the wives I have met through my husband during his time at Marine Corps Base Quantico, Va. were pregnant, are pregnant, or became pregnant in the last four months.
And while I am incredibly happy for them, because it is what they wanted, it’s not for me. It’s not for us.
We have a plan, and while that has made many people chuckle, we want to stick to it.
Waiting to have babies is important to me for a few reasons, but I hate the looks I get for wanting to wait.
You wouldn’t believe some of the things people say – or maybe you would, because you are one of the people who says these things without thinking. Or maybe you are like us and regularly receive them, too.
People want to know what is wrong with us, asking us if we hate children or if we are just plain selfish.
They want to know what is wrong with my ovaries. I like to remind them that I am only 23, and my ovaries are just hanging out — and reminding me of their presence on a regular basis.
People like to tell you that having a baby with Tricare is practically free.
But my all time favorite comment is this:
“There is no good time to have kids”!
Except, I don’t agree. For us, there is a good time. The friends we have been naturally attracted to since moving here are in the same boat-wanting kids but wanting even more to wait.
I, personally, would like to see my husband past a couple of years of marriage and maybe even a deployment. He is a young Marine and I don’t know what our careers will bring, and I just can’t imagine throwing a baby into the mix.
And if we were to have a child I’d want my husband to be able to go to the check-ups and see the milestones with me. Sure, realistically I know this isn’t probable, but a girl can dream, right?
It’s hard not to feel defensive when people question our reasoning for wanting to wait. Heck, sometimes I even feel myself questioning it.
That is, until I think about our bank account and student loans and the fact that we will be PCSing to Florida sooner rather than later. I think about how my husband likes to tell me he has to “train” or “write an order” which actually means go play video games in his man cave. I think about our old, evil Husky who is notorious for stealing waffles from children’s hands.
We made this decision for many reasons — but I wish support for it was easier to find.
Have you decided not to have kids, at least for now? How do you find support?