Do Spouses Worry Too Much?

Do these women seem too worried about their soldiers to you? Or is it normal in military life to have the specter of death lingering on your doorstep? A National Guard wife says she keeps her … [Read more...]


The “Just in Case” Letter

Love is brave. I think the rest of the world forgets that sometimes. But military relationships require courage, especially before a combat deployment. Planning to be apart for a year is brave. … [Read more...]


The Same, But Different

I had the honor to spend the summer taking care of my Mom during the last stages of her battle with cancer. It was during this time that I realized I did the same thing with her death as I do with … [Read more...]


Pillow Talk That Sticks

It’s funny how one mundane memory can reappear, and make you laugh and cry, all over again. A week or two before Husband left we had a quiet moment alone at bedtime. The room was dark, and I … [Read more...]


Close Calls and Retroactive Panic

I knew something was up as soon as I opened the email. It was from my husband, but in place of Sampson's familiar address was the name of one of his squadronmates. In what was obviously a message … [Read more...]


Every. Single. Time.

I only get sick when Air Force Guy is not home.  This is not one of those statements like, "It only rains when I wash my car," it's the absolute truth.  I only get sick when AFG is not home.  And I … [Read more...]


Keeping That Nasty Fear At Bay

Like so many other stressors that come with the military, the fear that your spouse will be hurt or killed while deployed is completely reasonable, experts in military families say. Many people die in … [Read more...]


Breaking the Rules: Fear

I’m going to break some rules here today. I am going to write in the first person. I am not going to do what my good journalism training taught me and go out and find someone else to tell me … [Read more...]


Reviewing the Review

I like to look through the newspaper on Saturdays and Sundays to find out what is going on in our area and make appropriate plans. I usually don't read the movie reviews very often - rare is the … [Read more...]


Please, God. Not That…

I read an article this morning which compelled me to write about something I've never really discussed with anyone. It's a tricky subject. I've wrestled with writing in detail about it for a couple of … [Read more...]


Perspective From the Flipside

When my husband deployed to Iraq, it seemed like most people thought my fears and worries would be focused on a worst case scenario that involved my husband not coming home. To me, it seemed like that … [Read more...]


Perspective, Revisited

On Thursday I went in for my 36 week appointment. I had a month left until my due date and my husband had finally gotten permission to come home in two weeks or so. Life was working out perfectly.And … [Read more...]



Out of the blue, DH asked me the other night, "If I died, would you get remarried?"I sat thoughtfully for a moment, wondering why he was asking me this.Me: "I don't know. It would … [Read more...]


A gift from the past

Recently I received a large envelope in the mail from my aunt. Curiosity filled my eager mind so I tore it open to find a wonderful treasure. … [Read more...]


Pre-Deployment and the State of my Rear End

A few weeks ago Butterfly Wife posted on her blog a question - should she change her blog name to Does This Army Make My Butt Look Big?What a timely question (and I nearly died laughing reading the … [Read more...]


Painfully Aware

I went to my initial consult at the geneticist's office yesterday, and at one point the doctor said, "During your appointment with the genetics counselor, you will also talk about the risks … [Read more...]


The Wrong Door

Everyone knows that the worst day possible would be the fateful knock on the door.But what would you do if it was the wrong door?We've seen the scene on We Were Soldiers when the taxi driver … [Read more...]


Public or Private: A Policy Under Review

On the one hand, I didn't want to write about this, for reasons spelled out below. On the other hand, I couldn't ignore the fact that this is a legitimate issue for military spouses and one … [Read more...]