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Love, Compassion and PTSD: Lessons From a Military Father

My father, David Clinton Tharp was a decorated 101st airborne paratrooper during WWII. Although he survived the battles of Normandy, Carentan, Holland, and the Battle of the Bulge, combat came with … [Read more...]

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Poll: Does Girlfriend Trump Mom at Homecoming

When it comes to having your in-laws visit during homecoming, we stand pretty firm:  Don’t do it. But what about girlfriends, boyfriends and significant others? Do they trump parents, … [Read more...]

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Why I Wish Your Husband Would Deploy

One of the rules of military life is that you never wish a deployment on anybody. You never wish that someone else’s husband would miss Christmas morning. You never wish someone else’s wife missed … [Read more...]

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YDU: Stinky Reunions Aren’t So Romantic

I was recently thrilled when I learned that my husband’s unit was having a Family Day towards the end of their gunnery. Because my cat is not a good substitute for my regular … [Read more...]

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The End of Deployment Zombies are Out to Get Me

Zombies were chasing me, clawing at me, drooling over my delectable brains. I ran, climbed, rolled under things, even tried to fly in my efforts to escape, but the zombies were determined. I … [Read more...]

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What We Fight About After Deployment

We fight after deployment. This time we fought about 2% milk. I kid you not. Brad thought he would wait and buy milk when the store restocked with 1%. I thought anyone who finished the milk needed … [Read more...]

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Let’s Be Honest: Intimacy After Deployment

There's a lot I didn't know about reintegration. I didn't know my husband would be at once desperate for my company and totally needing his own space and that I'd need my own space too. I didn't … [Read more...]

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20 Happy Homecoming Resolutions

Homecoming tends to arrive ... eventually. But we spend a lot of time thinking about it first. We spend time worrying about it, mooning over it, waiting for it, hoping for it, praying for it. I, … [Read more...]

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We Don’t Need No Reintegration

This family is completely out of whack.  During deployment we rolled along, sure.  But we were running like one of our tires was firmly mounted on a 6000-mile axel. Now that Brad is home, we need … [Read more...]

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If I Ever Forget What Happy Looks Like

If I ever forget what happy looks like, please take me to the international arrivals gate at the airport.  I won't be like Hugh Grant in Love Actually looking for evidence that love is all … [Read more...]

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Adios Friends, I Don’t Need You Cuz Deployment Is Over

Am I a bad friend just if I disappear after homecoming? Since my husband is coming home in a few days, I’ve noticed that all of my friends have been dropping verbal notes of goodbye into our … [Read more...]

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Top 3 Ways to Help Someone Else’s Homecoming

It's the month of homecomings here at Fort Campbell. The Brigade to which we are attached is on their way back from Afghanistan and droves of friends and acquaintances are getting hints at when the … [Read more...]

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How Writing Helped a Vet Reintegrate – And How it Can Help You

My son was only a year old when I left for Afghanistan as an infantryman. When I came home, he was, at best, scared of me. My wife had problems with my return too. I didn’t know why. Maybe … [Read more...]

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How you Can Earn Money by Taking a Reintegration Survey

We get a lot of requests to tell you about surveys. But most of them don’t involve money. Some great researchers at the University of Colorado Denver are on the hunt for about 600 military couples … [Read more...]

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Are Homecoming Surprises a Good Idea?

“Don’t surprise your servicemember with any major lifestyle changes at homecoming,” the family life consultant told us at a meeting before homecoming. “If you have made a major change it is … [Read more...]

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National Guard: My In-Laws Live Too Close

At SpouseBuzz, we talk about what to do with the in-laws at Homecoming all the time. Everyone can pretty much understand that the in-laws want to see their returned child.  Yet the consensus is … [Read more...]

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Reintegration: It’s Not Just for Servicemembers

My husband is getting ready to leave soon for a long-ish TDY, and I know everything there is to know about getting our three-year-old daughter ready for his departure. I got coloring books at the Army … [Read more...]

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YDU: Constant Readiness Is the Missing Factor in PTSD

Why Didn’t You Tell Me that constant readiness is the missing factor in PTSD? As a Green Beret with experience in Afghanistan, Iraq and Africa, I sometimes returned in a state that my wife Cindy … [Read more...]