Murphy’s Law basically holds that if you give something a chance to go wrong, it generally will.
As military spouses, we know a special kind of Murphy’s Law that applies to us and our relationship with our cell phones: You can carry your cell phone for days without it ringing, but forget it once and your loved one is sure to call.
Why does this happen to us?! Doesn’t Murphy realize he’s messing with communication-starved men and women?!
I’m sure I’m not alone in this telephonic phenomenon.
I’ll admit to forgetting my cell phone more than once while Hubs was deployed. I’ll admit to being late once or twice or even breaking the speed limit to take myself to wherever I needed to go to retrieve my phone.
On at least a half dozen occasions, I accidentally left my phone in the car while I ran in the daycare to pick up my daughters only to return to my car to find I’d missed Hubs trying to reach me. Four or five missed calls on my phone along with his chiding voice mail about how I must be having too much fun to answer and that he only had a second so he’d call me again another day. My heart would sink when I would realize a momentary lapse in my normal cell phone vigilance meant I’d have to wait even longer to speak to my husband.
I nearly blinded myself slip-sliding out of the shower with shampoo running in my eyes every time he’d call while I was showering. I woke up sleeping children to spring from the rocking chair to grab my ringing cell phone…I also woke same said children when I had to enter their room to gather up the phone I’d forgotten when I’d tucked them in earlier.
I used to laugh when I’d say, "I’d forget my head if it weren’t attached." I realize now, that’s so true, because as important as my cell phone was to me, if I didn’t have it attached to me somehow, I definitely had a high likelihood of forgetting it.
The cell phone became so important to me that I would actually wake up in the middle of the night to answer when it wasn’t actually ringing and then, on occasion, sleep through it when it did ring in the night. I find I have done the same thing with my children–waking to calls from them that aren’t actually there or sleeping through some kiddie cries that actually do occur.
I always balance my discussion of the cell phone by reminding myself how lucky I am to have it. My grandmother had to deal with months of my grandfather being at sea during WWII with no word. My mother had to wait for letters home from Vietnam. I had the luxury of carrying around a phone that would ring no matter where I was…even if that meant it would happen when I wasn’t actually with the phone.
I’m interested in hearing your cell phone stories. What lengths have you gone to in keeping your phone with you? Any particularly interesting/humorous/heart sinking cell phone stories you want to share? I’m sure this is one area in which we share much in common. Share it in comments.
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I personally haven't had to deal with a deployment yet, but last year, a few girls on our softball team (composed entirely of wives) had husbands deployed. And somehow their husbands always managed to call while they were either a) up to bat or b) a runner on base. It was always fun to answer the phones…the husbands knew that their wives were playing softball, but they never knew who was going to answer the phone! We'd stop the games, substitute runners, batters….whatever it took to get these girls a 5 minute conversation with their husbands!
killing myself falling out of the shower to answer the phone, I didn't mind but it was very very very seldom DH! Usually some yutz selling me something. See, the DH usually doesn't call the cell, he calls the house, same time, every week. but I still run for the phone, even if it's NOT that time.. what if???
The cell is glued to me because that is the number that my other non FRG ladies have. and if they call me (we usually spend our time emailing) then I know they need me. Turned it off during the funeral today, but that was the first thing that went back on. whoa… where did I put it…. scuse me…..
When I don't get to my cell in time my husbands usually says something about me having something better to do than talk to him or having something more fun to do or something crazy like that. He says it as a joke, but in my mind I want to tell him that I am raising YOUR 3 kids, cleaning YOUR house, feeding YOUR dog and washing YOUR underwear. Having a blast dear!
In Germany, all my friends had the same crappy cheap Nokia cell phone that the PX sold. Every Friday night we’d go to dinner at the same restaurant and follow the same ritual: we’d line all the phones up on the windowsill where they got the best reception. A row of identical phones in the window…too funny. And when one rang, we’d shriek and try to figure out whose it was.
When my husband- boyfriend at the time- was in boot camp about three weeks in he was able to call me for the first time. I was at work and a restricted number came up on my phone. Since I had received lots of calls from people I was doing a project with recently, I didn't really think anything of it. So I answered the phone, and the caller just says "hi" "how are you?" Completely not even thinking, I was like…good, who is this? and when he said "you don't know who this is?" I realized my mistake. For three weeks I had assumed EVERY unidentified caller was him, and the one time I didn't… Well anyway I burst into tears in the middle of my office and ran outside where I had a better signal and could talk. There was just something about him calling me that made me so emotional, I wound up crying almost every time. I couldn't believe that I didn't even recognize his voice on the phone. His having pnemonia might have had something to do with it. He sounded so different! Anyway, I don't think he will ever let me live that down…
My boyfriend recently finished boot camp. The last half of it or so they had phone privs on weekends. (To the point of getting their cells. Talk about a blessing!) however they had one week where they would have absolutely NO contact. (no letter writing, no calls, etc. ) So I knew I wouldn't get to talk to him. A few days after I knew they'd be back in the barracks, I began to "hope" that he'd get a 5 minute phone call to let me know if he passed the last test for graduating. He happened to call at work, and it was 5 mins before I was leaving. I pick it up and answer and I hear "Is this my most wonderful honey?" I started crying at my desk, I was so glad to hear from him. Unfortunately I scared the poop out of him, he thought something was horribly wrong!
Sounds so familiar. I can spend a whole work day witting at my desk waiting for that call but the moment I get up to go to the bathroom is when it comes. I get back to my desk and see the message light and start to cry because i just KNOW it was him.
But that one time I actually pick up the phone and hear his voice I feel like luck is with me today.
I am horrible about keeping my cell phone with me but deployments are the one time when I am a fanatic about it. I didn't used to be since on my husband's first deployment they couldn't call from the ship so I would run into the house every night to check my email. When he actally called I hadn't heard his voice in a few months. Now that I actually get to talk to him every few days makes this all a little more bearable. Just wish the kids would say hello to him next time…
As a Mom to a soldier, I can certainly relate to this one. I would literally pick up my cell phone and make a call just to see if it was working at times.
Those few calls that I did miss from my son were terrible. It left me feeling like a horrible mother.
I even got special permission from the Bankruptcy Court just to carry my phone into their building.
I actually walked out of church once to take a call from him. He always seemed to call when I was in Wal-Mart and everyone would stare at me like I had lost my mind when they would see the tears of joy. I did not care. I would have bitten someone's head off to take those calls that were so few and far in between.
I have just now began to not have it attached to my hip at all times.
Been there and done the cell phone and glad those days are through.
Yes! The curse of the bad signal or dead battery! That, or I'm bathing the babies and forgot the phone in the other room and can't abandon them to grab it. And of course the shower, running out and setting your wet heel on the linoleum and nearly dying only for him to hang up approximaetly .23 seconds before I can grab it and nearly electrocute myself by punching at the talk button with my dripping hands.The best was when my phone company accidentally shut off my house line and didn't get it back on for two days until I called them in near hysterics, babbling about how the phone and internet were my only communication with my husband and he was probably very worried about me. (My cell only works outside the house and I can't call him from it.)
If it's this bad while he's in Korea, I can't imagine what it will be like when he hits the Sand…
Been there and probably on my way to it again. When Sgt. was deployed I tried to always remember my cell phone but it was that 1 minute potty break at work when I missed his calls the most. I've taken his calls during church, Weight Watchers, hung up with customers because it came at work. His calls showed up as "unknown" and I always knew it was him and when I missed it I cried like I had never cried before. I slept with the cell phone and two phones in the bed, one under my pillow just in case I didn't hear one of the others. I got pulled over one day speeding on my way to work; he had called and I went through a dead zone and lost him. He had called back but it kept going to voice mail. I simply wasn't paying attention when the speed limit went down. I played Sgt's voice mail for him to "prove" my story. That, the mascara stains and blue star on my car got me a snide "Speed limit signs are as big as the hood of your car. Pay attention." but no ticket. I was grateful so I didn't ask about the dump truck who flew past me as he turned around to get me and was long gone before I even blinked. I took the warning and left.
I've often thought about hearing Sgt's mom talk about no phone calls and having to wait for letters from his dad in Vietnam. It's definitely something I'm glad we have; it's what kept us "together" while he was gone as computer time was virtually nonexistent for him.
Ever since my hubby was in BCT I have my cell phone attached to me and gets charged at night laying right next to me!!!!!
When he left, I was a mess. I answered every phone call (home and cell) with "honey is that you? " My freinds and family were starting to wonder if I was going to make it thru basic training.
Then my day of Hell began on Jan 22 (day before my birthday).. I had to take the 2 kids to the eye dr (with back to back appts) in the middle of a snowstorm in MN! This was day 5 of not hearing from my hubby also. So Off we go to the eye dr, I leave the cell phone off the charger so it dies half way thru the appts, left the lights on in my car(battery died) and the snow was getting worse.
Needless to say that was the day my husband calls….5 times! He finally called my sister in law to see if I was dead or not .. and he wanted to talk to an actual person.
Now there is lots more to that story..but I won't bother ya'll with the gory details.
Sorry for writing a book! : )
Last summer my fiancee was in basic, it had been about a month and a half. He wrote to me and said that he would be probably be able to call for the first time on July 4th! I was excited and don't have a cell phone so I waited at home the whole day for it, he never called. He wrote me a letter that said some guys fell asleep and got everyone in trouble & he probably wouldnt get another chance to call. He was upset and so was i.
That Saturday I was sitting on the computer, right next to the phone when it rang. It was an unknown number, which i had been answering up to this point. After it rang a little bit i decided i would answer, however, the voicemail picked up before i could. I knew it was him, just my luck he left a message saying he would try back in 10 mins. This time i would be ready. I waited longer than 10 mins, but i finally got to talk to him. He sounded so different it made me sad, but i loved it. He got to call cuz he did so well on his PT tests, he told me this would be the only call.
The next day i was going to his sister's house and we were going shopping. I left my house which is only 5 mins away, and then when we got there we left after about 5 mins. This was a mistake!!! He had called my house right after i left and then tried his sister's house right after we had left!! Her husband picked up and talked to my fiancee for about 8 mins. And then called us on his sis's cell phone to tell us who had called. we didnt believe it at first but when we finally did we were so upset!
After that there were no calls, but i was afraid to leave the house and answered every call!!!
I haven't been through a deployment yet either but when my fiance was at OCS this past fall I experienced the Murphy's law relating to cell phones. He had called me the night before and told me that that would probably be the last time he would talk to me for the next three weeks as there were no cell phones allowed once he was there. So after that call I cried myself to sleep and then the next morning woke up and was at least okay by that point. I went into the kitchen to eat breakfast and left my cell phone on the charger in my room (where i can't hear it from the kitchen) figuring he wasn't going to call and I didn't really want to talk to anyone else so it didn't matter. Well, I went back in my room after breakfast and lo and behold look who had called! My fiance had tried calling me "one last time" before he went into OCS. I felt so bad that I hadn't been there to get his call, I cried on and off for the rest of the day about it. It was terrible! Luckily now he is at TBS and after they get off "work" for the day he can use the phone so it's not as bad…but I dont know how i'm going to do this once he gets deployed!
Erin, I don't know how I'm going to do it when my hubby gets deployed to Iraq, either. Then again, I didn't know how I would survive a year in Korea and it's almost over! Our first separation was a 5 week field problem in an advanced school and we weren't allowed to communicate except through letters, which took 3 weeks to be delivered. I laugh at us now, looking back on our tearful reunion.
All I know is that you won't know how you'll get through it until you get there, and you do what you have to do. For some bizarre reason (usually Love) this is the life we've chosen, and our strength seems to come as we need it–but not before.
Sis B, thanks so much for the encouragement! Now that you mention it, I wasn't real sure how i was going to get through him being just at OCS for ten weeks and I did that(at times kicking and screaming but i did it :-P). I guess you are right about the strength coming when you need it and not before. I hope that is the way it works when he leaves for Iraq. Sometimes I'm not so sure but it helps to know that other people experience the same uncertainties at times. Thanks so much again for the encouragement!
Ha..Cell phones.. I actually work for a cell phone company..so lucky for me, as a manager, it is my job to have it attached to my hip-literally! But yes, even those of us who eat, breath, sleep, and even work cell phones, do forget them. I work in the lovely state of Vermont, where every other road, I am losing service. I know that it takes me exactly 26 minutes to get home from work, 12 of those minutes, I have no service..and it never fails that the voicemail alert goes off when I enter back into service.. Most of the time it is not dear hubby, but when it is, the whole day just feels ruined..:(
Had two phone issues when the dh went to basic. The first happened the day he actually flew out. We lived, at the time, pretty far away from the airport, so the night before he was supposed to go, he stayed with several other recruits in a hotel up by the airport. I was in class the day he flew and just missed his call, because I couldn't answer the phone in class. He left a message "just to say goodbye one more time", and I got all snively in the hallway. Making matters worse, when I came back into class 5 mins later I had to endure my Prof. yelling at me about having a phone on in class. I completly lost all dignity and cried in front of everybody. Once she got out of me who called and why, she felt pretty bad.
The second one I missed was his first call from boot camp, after nothing but a few letter in a month and a half. He left a message on the house answering machine, stating that he had called my cell but that I didn't pick up. Lucky me, I was going through the ONE dead zone in my 30+ mile commute home from school. That in itself was bad, making it worse was The Boy talking back to the answering machine like his dad was really there, and then throwing a temper tantrum when daddy didn't answer back.
We finally did get to talk to him about 3 weeks before he graduated. He had to make two calls, one to his parents (they had The Boy) and one to me at work. He got his own cell phone one week into A school, I made sure.
I agree with the comments about strength coming when you need it and not before.
My soldier is on his second deployment to Iraq. It never fails that when I am at the end of my rope and can't even imagine how I will make it just one more day without him,I either find that strength from the part of him that I carry with me at all times, or a friend or family member will carry me over the "hump". We will survive and do it well, because that's the only choice we have …..for his sake.
These are really good! Keep them coming. I enjoy seeing the common threads that bind us. :)
Hubs also gets a kick from the ones I've shared with him. :)
and there was the call from my son, who was deployed in 2003-4, who called me while I was in class. My professor had a fit at me! Told me that I needed to make a decision as to what was more important, my education or taking a silly phone call. yada yada yada…
Since I am a lot older than most of the kids in class, I didn't put up with it. When she attempted to dress me down in front of the class… well, I don't put up with Generals trying it.. so this prof didn't stand a chance. By the time I got done with her, she couldn't peep. I had made it clear to each of my professors, that since my husband was deployed in Bosnia, and my son was in Iraq, there would be some times when I would just have to leave.
There were so many times when they would call, and I would miss it. If she thought that I would deliberately miss a call, she was out of her little tiny mind.
My husband was suddenly deployed two months after we got married, which just happened to be right before Christmas. On New Year's Eve, he told me that he might get in from his flight an hour or so after midnight, and he would call me then. So I didn't even think to check my cell phone at midnight. He called twice, once one minute before midnight and one minute after. I missed them both. I cried like the world was going to end, in the middle of my neighbor's crowded party. I never leave my phone more than arm's length away now, just in case.
In our home, "Murphy" has a name for his modified laws. "Murphy's Military Law". Simply stated it goes like this: Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. . . while he is gone." It is under this categorical law that I file the 2yr old flushing the yellow t-shirt during AT, the same child many years later breaking her nose at the bottom of the swimming pool during deployment. It is also where I keep the file on house things like the shower leaking into the sub-flooring and the water line to the refrigerator breaking and spewing water while we are out for the day ~ all during deployment. Child #1 needing braces, #4 needing extractions. Tonsilitis, the flu epidemic, sprained ankle, thrown out back . . . . all while he is out on deployment. Once we learned to expect that things wouldn't be peaches and cream, we got comfortable with Murphy and settled in.
OOO the cell phone horrors….wich story of cell phone betrayal should I use????
OOO thanksgiving day,DH deployed have not heard from the dear man in a few days 3 kids and 2 dogs 4 hour drive up north driving 75 mph cell phone rings 6 year old puking trying to talk to hubby NOT cry, and pull over while cell signal fading fast…
Drop the CALL!!!!!!!!
Tears and disapointment…6 yr old still puking..
Turn around drive 2 hours back home Fix a impromptu thanksgiving dinner…have a cocktail or 6…..sleep with both house phones and CELL…
:) !!!
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PEN-PALS FOR OUR SOLDIERS IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUPPORT OUR SOLDIERS THE BEST WAY IS TO SEND A LETTER OF THANKS. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WRITING OUR TROOPS TO SAY THANKS PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT: LAURENCBURKS@YAHOO.COM THE WAY IT WORKS : YOU WRITE A LETTER TO DEAR SOLDIER…ETC..ETC…THANKS FOR SERVING….MAIL THE LETTER TO ME….I PUT ALL THE LETTERS IN A BOX TO SHIP OUT AND LET MY SOLDIER DISTRIBUTE THEM. THE REASON IS YOU CAN'T MAIL TO ANY SOLDIER IT IS AGAINST CUSTOM RULES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY FOR THOSE THAT ARE PROTECTING FREEDOM. MY MAIN GOAL IS TO GET PEN-PALS STARTED FOR THE SOLDIERS. THIS IS A HUGE MORALE BOOSTER. AND THE SOLDIERS ARGUE OVER WHO GETS THE NEXT LETTER. THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR HELP. WE CAN TRULY PUT A SMILE ON A SOLDIERS FACE ONE LETTER AT A TIME. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT!!!
*sobbing* Thank you! After a year of 'civfriends' chiding my cell phone obsession, I can't believe I am not crazy after all! Sleeping with it under my pillow, driving with it on my leg (so I can feel it vibrate and yes, holding it in my teeth (if my bra wont work) while I pee all so I wont miss that priceless 2 minutes he gets occasionally.
I have become isolated and withdrawn from all of my 'civfriends' because they will NEVER understand! Thank you so so much for sharing and telling me im not nuts! Thank you!! I wrote a 'love note/poem' to my DH about just this topic, I hope you enjoy it and im sure YOU ALL will understand…
TEARS OF A HERO'S WIFE
With a boulder in my gut, every cell in my body fights the anticipation building inside of me. Paralyzed, pretending to watch tv of my free will, I obsessively check my phone. Heart racing, I search for a reason to wait without admitting that it's for you. The collapse of nightfall signaling another week without you rushes nearer as the clock ticks away undeterred. The suffocating pain of arrhythmia fills me with every beep my phone makes. "It's him!!," I hyperventilate, until the anger for a stranger signaling a false alarm captures me.
Pissy that I can't figure out how to shut off the voicemail reminder beep, I check the voicemail more than ever now just to stop that paralyzing sound. I have the ringer set to max just in case, still it isn't you. I should know that by now. But every sound takes my breath away. "Where are you?"
Fairytales are friendly mind tricks I play reminding me that you are protecting the world and they need you more. Still, it feels like an eternity as I hypervigilate my phone. I scour the web for traces of you. Maybe you had a terrible day and don't want to take it out on me. A trace of your online footprints can signal hello to me. Sometimes, it's all i've got.
The pipes are busted, the phone disconnected, everything running later than due still I hold my head high and show the world how proud I am of you. Warnings from attorneys, the dwindling bank accounts but I don't let you hear me fret. "It's under control," I proclaim "How was your day?" Knowing I would give my last breath to be in your arms. "WHERE ARE YOU? WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME? I NEED YOU!!" I internalize. Outwardly joking and flirting and giving to you all I have left of me.
Still I wait, every Sunday, praying you will get time to call. See you in my dreams my love, I miss you.
*PS. ..the world DOES seem to end if you miss that call doesn't it? They just don't understand….
I was just thinking about an extended hospital visit last year where a 6'3 250+ male nurse told me I needed to concentrate on healing and that he was going to put my phone in the safe…. Upon seeing the homicidal look in my eyes he stopped just short of touching my phone. He didn't know the story and I didn't have to say a word.. he knew he was about to lose those fingers if he proceeded. He excused himself from my room and said "concentrate on getting better…" :)
My fiance is in training now and will deploy next month to Iraq, to where, I dont even know yet…
I am dreading the phone dilemma…I know it all too well already and he's just in another STATE…not another country…I'm just glad that there are people that truly understand…thanks for this!
Normally, i always carry my cell phone with me. But when my husband, of only a few months, left on his first deployment, it NEVER left my side! I was in my senior year of college at the time, and the first thing i did the first day of all classes that year was inform the teacher that my phone would be on, and if he called, i would be leaving class to talk to him. this was especially important during the first few months he was deployed because as he was not able to call frequently.
several times that year i was late to school, or to work, though i lived only 5 minutes away because i would get into the parking lot or almost to class and realize i'd set down my phone. after the first time i'd inadvertantly left it, and of course he called, i would not even think about it, i'd run back to my car and speed home.
the worst time was when he called, not once, not twice, but THREE times while i was taking a test in class. everytime, with welling apprehension, i saw him call, i wanted to jump up and go answer it, but i was in a test! The last time, I stood up and walked toward my teacher, only to have to phone stop ringing. i immediatly burst into tears. luckly, all of my teachers were amazingly understanding! Luckily, he called a few minutes later and i was able to talk to him… if it weren't for the support of people like my teachers (and my boss a few times) that time would have been impossible!!
Oh, Emilie! That brought back memories! I was still teaching full-time on the college level when my husband was deployed & I carried my phone EVERYWHERE too and it was always on, but I tried to remember to set it on vibrate in class. I gave the HUGE speech at the beginning of the semester about having respect & turning off your phone, etc. and about five minutes later, MY PHONE RANG. I was like, "Okay, who can't follow simple directions?" The students, horrified, looked around and then realized, it was MY phone. I barely lived it down, but they all understood so it was all good. :)