Last year, my sister innocently asked, "So what do you get out of this blogging thing, anyway?"
I explained to her that blogging and connecting with other bloggers
makes me feel like I’m understood; most of the people that read my site
are other military wives, which means I don’t have to explain a lot of
the details that I think seem obvious. Other military wives understand
the daily grind of having a husband in the military. They don’t say,
"What a shame," when they find out my husband is deployed. They laugh
at and relate to all the light bulbs in the house burning out at the
same time, the car breaking down, and the air conditioner acting crazy
the DAY AFTER my husband leaves. They’ve been there, done that, and and
they’re ready to laugh about it (or cry about it) with me in the
comments section.
A lot (not all) of my family is made up of civilians. I love civilians. But sometimes, I don’t feel understood by them.
Illustration: While in Seattle a few weeks ago, I was at lunch with my
family when my aunt asked me if I had seen a particular movie. I asked
if it had come out on DVD yet, and she said, "No, it’s still in the
theater."
Ok. First, my husband is deployed. I haven’t found a babysitter I
trust. All of the friends I would trust with my son are people I would
want to go to this said movie with (and most of them have
deployed husbands and children too. It’s not like they need or want
another responsibility on a Friday night). Plus, I’m not that big on
spending $10 on a movie ticket and another trillion dollars on snacks.
Not my cup of tea, but still. I’M ALONE. Going to the theater is a huge
pain in the neck!
And guess what? I felt the need to explain all of that to her. Poor Aunt.
So as I was emailing Andi not too long ago, I told her I won’t be able
to make it to the SpouseBUZZ Live event in Virginia because Scout will
be home or in transit for R & R. My mind started to wander. How
should I explain how important it is to me to be home when Scout gets
off the plane? And then I smiled. I didn’t have to explain it.
And maybe that’s a bad example. I’m sure my family wouldn’t need an explanation for something like that. But I would still feel the need to give one.
So that, my friends, is why I blog. Thank you for helping me to feel understood, and allowing me to understand you. :)
About Erin Rages
Comments
I love talking about Army stuff with other Army wives. There's a bond that I don't have with civilians, a language we just don't share – literally and figuratively.
I don't have to explain anything to them and it's a nice feeling. I come to Spousebuzz to have that camaraderie when I can't get it in person. Hooah.
Three cheers for Scout's R&R!
I totally understand what you mean. I don't really have any military friends, i get my sanitity pill from this blog, my husband's R&R starts this week, and i decided to take those two weeks off too, so i had to explain my teachers that i would be missing 2 weeks of classes, some of them just said ok and didn't want to know more, for those who wanted an explanantion i had to tell them i was married to an American Soldier and he was gonna be home for only 15 days. I'm in México so the explainin how can someone this young can be married (i'm 23, i got married at 22, girls don't get married this young around here anymore) then how i could i be married to an American and to top it all a Soldier who is deployed. But i'm totally used to explaining now.
I got this in an email from one of my best military friends.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will post 360 security so you dont get caught
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents Drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn…we fucked up…but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Laugh at you and tell you to put some vagasil on your pussy.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will Low Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will listen to your relatioship problems and hope it works out for you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will listen to you over a long hard road march, and will help you straighten it out better than Dr. Phil.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Might try to hit on your girl behind your back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Have spooned with you in the field more than your girl has, and would never even think about doing that.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home fuckers!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will man up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste.. That's alcohol abuse!!!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say "okay just one more" and then 2 minutes later "okay just one more".
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will repost this
oh, the answer is easy. Friends – who understand.
LAW
I just had the same conversation with one of my sisters.
And that's exactly what I told her. I write my blog because I can just get to the heart of the matter, without going through pages and pages of backstory and explanations.
I'm not a military spouse but I am an Army mom and while people ask and are sincerely interested in the latest news from the field, their eyes glaze over at anything beyond 'just fine.' And Military people don't ask as someone did last night, "you mean he won't be home for the holidays?" So keep on bloggin'!
This is such a common theme. I recently had this conversation with a friend. I love blogging. It's great to keep in touch and it can be so therapeutic. To heck with the civilians who chastise us. ;)
Dear webmaster,
We would like to work with you setting up Dating Site for Military Singles.
We can set it up for you at no cost if you have strong interest in this field or work-at-home business. You can pick the name for your own military dating site, own the domain and brand. We take care of all the backend and engineering work. Also customer service work,
You don't have to worry that no one exists at your military dating site at the beginning. Your site will share hundreds of thousands of profiles with other military sites we have already set up. Your users can immediately contact hundreds of thousands of other military users once they register at your military dating site.
You can earn money if you can get users registering at your dating site.
It is easy to get users visiting your military dating site by doing the followings:
1. Invite friends, friends of your friends to visit it;
2. Write blogs on popular sites promoting it;
3. Create friend circle on some social networking sites to get to know more friends.;
4. Use business card, fly sheet to promote it when joining social activities;
…
If you are interested, let me know.
Chloe Smith
Marketing manager
MilitaryFriends.com