10 years: I Am Angry


I am still angry. When I watch footage of people hanging on for their very lives that day, I try and imagine that level of fear. Did they think we could possibly save them, and did not bother? Haunting, beyond what I can fathom or put into words.

I am surprised that I spent the last few days crying off and on, as I did not lose anyone that day. I spent that day in Arkansas. I am sure you all remember where you were on that day. I will also say that when the second plane hit, I knew it was terrorism, and I knew that this war would be fought for the rest of my life. I knew this was different.

Ten years after that cowardly attack, I know far too many widows, children without parents, and men and women who have been changed forever by protecting our nation for 10 years. I have been to Walter Reed and have heard patients say, “I just want to go back, and be with my platoon.” I am amazed every time I hear those words. “I need to go back.”

What makes me angry today? People not standing for The National Anthem. I do not think I have had a dry eye since Desert Storm when I hear it played. People asking me “When will your Husband get out?” “Aren’t you worried?” “Are we really doing any good over there?” “My Husband loves us way too much, he could never do that.” “I heard they are sending people home, he gets to come home right?” “Why does he do it?” “You know it is for oil right?”

They do it, because they love our country, and they love one another, and they want their children, and your children, and your grandchildren to be warless.

I am angry because a part of my heart simply thinks America has forgotten, that there are people who will hijack planes and fly them into buildings, there are people who want to kill us. How could you forget that?

I am angry because 1% of America serves this beautiful country every day, and people have forgotten.

About the Author


Rachelle began her Military Spouse career when her future husband proposed to her in a letter during Desert Shield. Mail took over a month to arrive back then, and they only had three phone calls with each other in the ten months they were separated. They were married at a small ceremony a week after he returned home. Rachelle's husband moved her to Ft. Bragg, NC, all of their combined possessions filling her small, two-door car. In 1992, they left active duty and moved back to their home state where she went to nursing school and he joined the Army National Guard as a traditional Soldier as he went to school. In 1999, Rachelle's husband was offered a full-time National Guard position in Arkansas, where they lived for eight years.

In 2002, their son was born (MFO Deployment) and in 2003, their daughter was born (OIF2). In 2008, they moved back to their home state to live close to family. Rachelle has been an active contributor with SpouseBUZZ since 2005. She currently works full-time at a physician’s office, and is active with her church and school's PTO. Her son has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a subject that she is exhaustingly studying and learning to work with day-by-day. In 2010, Rachelle's mother-in-law moved in with the family, and they added a German shorthaired pointer named "Poncho" to the tribe as well. Rachelle enjoys spending as much "down time" with her family as possible - usually something outdoors or movie nights. Her favorite foods are sushi, steak, chocolate, and coffee. Her special skills include being an awesome cook, identifying odd accents by state or country, having an incredible sense of smell (almost bloodhound-like), and watching people at airports during long, unexpected layovers.

3 Comments on "10 years: I Am Angry"

  1. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was weepy for days leading up to Sunday's anniversary. And I'm also angry at how many Americans have forgotten what 9/12/11 was like. It saddens me to think that your children and mine don't remember a day without war. It pisses me off when people ask me what my husband does, and I say "He's in the Army"… they say "I hate this war. We shouldn't be there. How could your husband stay in the Army?" They are clueless. And to be honest.. sometimes I wish he wasn't in the Army, but he is and I love and respect him for it.

    On Friday, Keith asked me if it was ok for him to volunteer for a deployment. I said "You know I won't hold you back… " because none of us WANT our husbands to deploy, but we know that's what they do.

  2. When 9/11 happened, I was shocked, appalled, and in utter disbelief. While I watched the news about US troops going into Afghanistan, I was attentive, because I had known soldiers and I worried about them, but that was the extent on how personal it got. It wasn't until 2003, when I met and fell in love with my soldier that it became so much more personal to me. Suddenly 9/11 got a whole new meaning as I waved my soldier off to war, waited for him for months, welcomed him home again, only to watch him leave again. 10 years later, I am angry, too. While I cared back when it happened, and while I grieved along with the world, it wasn't as personal back then as it is now…

  3. Lauramroberts | September 15, 2011 at 1:20 am |

    Well Said Rachelle! I had to turn the TV off, 4 days of it was a just too much for me to handle. And you are spot on regarding the complete lack of respect and some of the senseless comments people make to us.

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