I am still angry. When I watch footage of people hanging on for their very lives that day, I try and imagine that level of fear. Did they think we could possibly save them, and did not bother? Haunting, beyond what I can fathom or put into words.
I am surprised that I spent the last few days crying off and on, as I did not lose anyone that day. I spent that day in Arkansas. I am sure you all remember where you were on that day. I will also say that when the second plane hit, I knew it was terrorism, and I knew that this war would be fought for the rest of my life. I knew this was different.
Ten years after that cowardly attack, I know far too many widows, children without parents, and men and women who have been changed forever by protecting our nation for 10 years. I have been to Walter Reed and have heard patients say, “I just want to go back, and be with my platoon.” I am amazed every time I hear those words. “I need to go back.”
What makes me angry today? People not standing for The National Anthem. I do not think I have had a dry eye since Desert Storm when I hear it played. People asking me “When will your Husband get out?” “Aren’t you worried?” “Are we really doing any good over there?” “My Husband loves us way too much, he could never do that.” “I heard they are sending people home, he gets to come home right?” “Why does he do it?” “You know it is for oil right?”
They do it, because they love our country, and they love one another, and they want their children, and your children, and your grandchildren to be warless.
I am angry because a part of my heart simply thinks America has forgotten, that there are people who will hijack planes and fly them into buildings, there are people who want to kill us. How could you forget that?
I am angry because 1% of America serves this beautiful country every day, and people have forgotten.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who was weepy for days leading up to Sunday's anniversary. And I'm also angry at how many Americans have forgotten what 9/12/11 was like. It saddens me to think that your children and mine don't remember a day without war. It pisses me off when people ask me what my husband does, and I say "He's in the Army"… they say "I hate this war. We shouldn't be there. How could your husband stay in the Army?" They are clueless. And to be honest.. sometimes I wish he wasn't in the Army, but he is and I love and respect him for it.
On Friday, Keith asked me if it was ok for him to volunteer for a deployment. I said "You know I won't hold you back… " because none of us WANT our husbands to deploy, but we know that's what they do.
Both you and Rachelle have eased my mind in a really unusual way with what you have posted here. My husband is in the Navy reserve…he went back in this year after being out for 7 years because he missed the opportunity to do something that matters. He was in the Navy for 14 years before we married, and I married him knowing he was former military. We have a close relationship with God and we don't do anything without praying first…and we prayed lots before he decided to go back through the reserves. We prayed that he would get to be an officer and would be an example to the men that he would serve with and beside. He WILL deploy in the future…and like you said, none of us want our husbands to deploy…but like you said, I will support him all the way when he does and be extremely proud of him when he does. I am proud now.
I say all of that because I too don't understand how other people can say the things they say to me when they find out he is in the Reserves. They say he hopes he doesn't deploy (he will and he WANTS to), they say that they wouldn't let their sons go into the military, they say that they don't understand why people want God to bless America…we aren't any more special than any other country. They say these things…in front of my husband and me. And I get so angry, the only thing I can do is stay silent to keep from saying something I will regret.
So, thank you…for letting me know that I am not alone in this situation…that other people are facing the same lunacy and trying their best to get through it as well.
God bless you both…and your families!
:)
Dbie and Josette, I am a military mom (as you know Josette). My son and his wife recently completed a 1 year tour of Afghanistan. I am proud to admit that my son, knowing he would be deployed chose to join the army and serve.
On that horrible day in 2001 when we saw war declared he sat with me in shock and decided he had to join. he was 13 then. Now at 23 he has been in both Iraq and Afghanistan and will soon return home to be with his son. My daughter-in-law's medical unit was ambushed in Afghanistan and she lost 2 comrades (and friends) and managed to escape with no serious injuries.
I have always said "you can hate war, but don't take it out on the troops. They are doing their job." They deserve the respect they have earned. I personally don't want us to be at war (who does) but why condemn service men and women. My son, daughter-in-law and all servicemen and women past present and future have my admiration and respect.
Even before I fell in love with an Army man, it bothered me that people couldn't stand behind the troops. "Don't you know they're there for you?" I wanted to say to them. "Don't you know they're willing to give their life so you don't have to?" "Do you think they LIKE being so far away from the ones they love?" Now, of course, I feel these things ten-fold. And I too am angry that many Americans don't seem to remember the pain we all felt that day. They just complain that airport security is a pain in the butt. How can our husbands/wives/fiances/sons/daughters/mothers/fathers stay in the military? Because they love their country and everyone in it. Because they have a stronger heart than most. Because they want to see a day where their mother can fly in to visit them without worrying someone will decide she should die that day, because she is American
You make good points, but… you know, it's possible to acknowledge that there are awful people out there who would hurt us just for our country, while still disagreeing with the actions that our government and our military have taken. If what we do doesn't address and solve the problem, then it's fair to criticize it and tell our leadership we want a different path. That's not "not supporting the troops," that may very well be citizenship with a voice and a stake in deciding how we deal with the problem of terrorism. Blindly going along with whatever the brass and the politicians say does not automatically translate into "supporting the troops."
As for the insensitive questions, brush them off. These people don't know and will never know how military families operate and even flourish, and that's probably just as well. They're telling you they personally couldn't handle it. Believe them and forget them. I hear civilian wives bellyaching all the time about how they can't sleep well and being the sole parent is driving them around the bend when their husbands are away on business trips for 5 whole days, oh the horror, poor, poor them. Whatever. They want to air their shallowness in public, that's their choice. I'd rather put my energy toward taking care of my family than validating or arguing with them.
When 9/11 happened, I was shocked, appalled, and in utter disbelief. While I watched the news about US troops going into Afghanistan, I was attentive, because I had known soldiers and I worried about them, but that was the extent on how personal it got. It wasn't until 2003, when I met and fell in love with my soldier that it became so much more personal to me. Suddenly 9/11 got a whole new meaning as I waved my soldier off to war, waited for him for months, welcomed him home again, only to watch him leave again. 10 years later, I am angry, too. While I cared back when it happened, and while I grieved along with the world, it wasn't as personal back then as it is now…
I think that military wives criticize too much the civilian wives. My husband was in the army and spent time in Iraq. But now he's in the reserves and for now am a civilian wife. He will deploy again next summer through the reserves. Do the people in our community understand our way of life? No, but how could they. Just as someone who has never lost a child could possibly really understand what that is like. Just because they don't know what to say doesn't make them the bad guy. Expecting civilians to understand what it is like or why soldiers families do what they do, and expecting them to never complain about their lives is creating a huge divide between civilian and military families. For someone who has never had their husband gone, 5 days is hard and whether it would be hard for you or not doesn't really matter. It's hard for them. Yea their husband's life isn't in direct danger, but remember you were just complaining that people don't remember that someone wants to crash our planes and kill you. I worry every time my husband goes anywhere whether it be for army reasons or his civilian job. Home or deployed we live in a dangerous world and there are many people who go to work and never come home even in this country. Army wives or other military wives become like any other clique. And it makes you feel like an outsider. I think we need to work harder to help civilians understand what we do instead of just assuming they don't care or understand, etc.
Well Said Rachelle! I had to turn the TV off, 4 days of it was a just too much for me to handle. And you are spot on regarding the complete lack of respect and some of the senseless comments people make to us.