The mother and aunt of Megan Born, the Army spouse who learned that her husband’s downrange death over text message, both left messages on SpouseBUZZ yesterday, offering some further explanation of just how this happened, praising the command at Fort Stewart for their support and thanking our readers for their condolences.
Because those posts — Military Spouse Notified of Death by Text and Army: Spouses to Blame for KIA Notification Fail — have so many comments making it hard for anyone to read them all, we wanted to make sure you had a chance to see their notes.
From Megan Born’s mother, Cindy:
Megan Born is my daughter and the first thing I want to say is that I appreciate the concern and compassion in the comments.
The second thing I would like to say is that the Army did everything they were supposed to do and are going “above and beyond” in taking care of my daughter and helping us through this situation. I am a veteran and I am aware of how this should have been handled and I know that the wives in his unit were briefed many times on OPSEC and loose lips. The girl who sent my daughter a message was a former friend that she had not seen or spoken to in months and there was absolutely no excuse for what she did. My heart goes out to the poor distraught soldier who confided in someone at home and is now going to pay for it.
From her aunt, Myra:
I don’t know if I will be welcome in this discussion, but here goes. I am Mrs. Born’s aunt, and was with her when she was notified of her husband’s death. She got a Facebook message several hours earlier telling her they were sorry for her loss. It was from a spouse that she knew but was not close to.
She called Fort Stewart and started asking questions. It took them a while to call her back. The Major that did the phone notification was, without a doubt, one of the most compassionate men I have ever spoken with. It was clear that this was not how they wanted to handle the notification. But they did not want her sitting for hours waiting for the notification team. We live in a very rural area. The team arrived approximately 2 hours later. And they were truly wonderful.
It is heartbreaking losing Sgt. Born. And it was devastating for her to find out the way she did. We are not a military family and I don’t have a lot of experience with how the Army does things. But I will say this, I have the utmost respect for the Major from Fort Stewart. And for the Notification team. And for every single Army personnel that we have come in contact with. They have been extremely professional and extremely caring. You can tell that they are grieving for their own loss as well. Thank you.
Her aunt also left a follow-up comment:
The Major has actually called many times since that first awful day. I cannot say it enough, the Army has been incredible. They have gathered around Megan and insulated her from as much as possible. The Chaplin told her the first day that she would soon meet many Army “family” that had her needs first through this ordeal. He was absolutely correct. I admire you all so much, because you live with this possibility every day and I don’t know how. I will pray more fervently for the safety of all our soldiers and for your peace of mind, while you patiently await their safe return.
Myra, Megan’s Aunt, also shared with us via email that Megan is asking anyone who would otherwise send flowers to instead make a donation to the Wounded Warrior Project. I know so many of us feel deeply for Megan – feel free to visit the Wounded Warrior Project to make a donation in Sgt. Joshua Born’s honor.
About Amy Bushatz
Comments
Hello Megan: We have not met. I live in Fort Walton Beach and met Josh through his friends the Stamm Family. I wanted you to know that I made a donation to Wounded Warrior Project in Josh's name.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Patti-Ann
my heart goes out to you megan i literally started tearing up when i read this. i WILL make sure i make a donation because this is a cause i truly care about. My heart goes out to all the army spouses and the ones who lost a loved one for their amicable sacrifice. you and everybody else is in our prayers.
My heart and prayers go out to you Megan and your family through this rough time. I pray that God wraps his arms around you. I want to let you know that I am going to be making a donation as well in your husband's name. I also wanted to let you know that you have a lot of support from wives of all military branches.
USMC wife
Thanks for sharing their comments. I think most of us fellow military wives simply want to wrap our protective arms around Megan and keep her safe. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. And if anything we can all show her how military wives DO behave, by making a donation in honor of her husband.
Megan, My sincerest condolensces and prayers for you and your family. The means by which you received your heartbreaking news is appalling, but I am very glad that you are feeling cared for by the military community. May you continue to feel part of that community and may we continue to support you however we are able. Praying many blessings for your future.
From a fellow military spouse at JBER in Alaska
Mrs. Born,
My deepest condolences to you, and the respective families. I'm an Army Wife as well and a member of my Brigade's Care Team. I hope time helps you heal and that your military family keeps you surrounded for many days to come. It angered me at how you were notified. I'm a former FRG Leader and this is something that I stressed to my family members that if I heard anything negative, they would have to deal with me first and that could be very bad for them! I fully protect and appreciate those who have to be notified and want to do anything possible. Again, my heart aches for you.
Sincerely,
Erin
Fort Hood
I'm so glad the Army seems be doing everything possible to help Megan through this devastating time. I cannot imagine the pain and shock she must be in…she's so young. I truly hope people in the military community will learn from this situation so no spouse ever has to go through what she went through. The least military families deserve is proper notification if something happens to a loved one.
So, so very sorry for your loss. As another military widow, please know that we are here ready to help in anyway we can. Gold Star Mothers and Gold Star Wives – we are here for each other.
Nancy Menagh
Proud widow of Capt. Philip S. Menagh, USMC
I lost my fiancee in 2010 and was not eligible for dears. But that did not deter the family from having me informed by a member of my law enforcement agency in a kind a considerate fashion. I can not imagine what Megan went through. But I will be praying for her every night as I pray for our troops still in harms' way. God Bless you, dear…you are not alone.
Dear sweet girl,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. None of us can change the way you were notified, but in unity we can mourn the death of another fallen soldier. May God bless you, your family and your husband for his service to our country. I pray that peace finds you and him. Many prayers and strength your way to get through such a devastating time.
With Respect,
Chastity
Lcpl USMC
Semper Fi
Mrs. Born.
Prayers from my heart are with you each day. Remember the good times, remember his voice, his face, his kiss, his laugh & know that someday you will meet again in heaven. He is in God’s Army now.
I am a Navy wife stationed overseas in Guam and I am a 6 year Army veteran. I am also the FRG president of the unit my husband serves in. My goal is to raise awareness within my command and my base about the importance of OPSEC among significant. To teach them the right things to do.
No words I say can help heal the hurt but know that throughout the world you and loved by your military family.
Mrs. Dee Still
Naval Base Guam
Mrs. Born
MY wife and I would like to give our Condolences and offer our prayers and support to you and the family. As a Veteran of 1-7 Cavalry 1st Team, that whether or not we are still active duty or Veteran's, nor no matter what branch of service, we will always be a Military Family. As everyone else has said my husband and I can't imagine what you are going through but we can always be there for you and offer comfort. May God be with you and your family. SGT.Born(Josh) you are now Megan's Angel so fly high and watch over her and hold her tight. RIP you will be missed and loved dearly by your family and friends and fellow brother's and sister in arms.
Sorry my wife finished writing this for me cause I had to go to school. so that is why it is wrote like it is.
From Crestview, FL, my husband and I would like to give our condolences to you and your family for the loss of your beloved soldier. The sacrifice these men and women make on a daily basis is beyond measure. The sacrifice that they're willing to make every time the load a gun is one that deserves our utmost respect. I'm so sorry your soldier's sacrifice was not honored in the most respectful way possible. We can only hope that one day, as a community, we can realize the great impact slips like these have on our military family and change it for the better. From the bottom of my heart, I hope God is with you and your family during this time and that Sgt. Born receives the honor and dignity he deserves. God Bless.
Candice B.
My heartfelt sympathy to your family——May God give you the strength needed at this difficult time.
Some times people do stupid things for stupid reasons. Not trying to sugar coat. It was wrongly handled from the start, but out of tragedy comes the Family. May they continue to hold you safe as you try to work through your grief. As a Viet Nam Veteran, I always knew in the back of my head that I might not make it home. By the Grace of GOD, and my military training I did. My condolences to you and your family for this horrible loss. May GOD hold you and protect you.
Our hearts are with you all <3 <3
my heart goes out to all the military I'm a mititary mom nothing is easy , So sorry for your loss. may he rest in peace.
May God bless you and your family at this time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
My heart goes out to you Megan, and your family for the loss of your husband. Sgt Born chose to be a soldier and you chose to be his wife – I know you carried the fear of loosing him every day he was gone. I can not excuse the way you recieved this heart wrenching news. I can however pray for you and your family to find peace in your hearts and fond memories of your husband to carry you through this.
Megan
I will never know the agony and pain you have been through and still have to get through. I am glad your military family is surrounding you with a comfort that noonelse is capapble of understanding what you are going through. I pray you remember the good times and the love you and your husband shared. Yes, everyone says he has paid the ultimate sacrifice but I believe it is you who is paying that. I hope you will find a star that you may look upon as being him looking down and smiling upon you.
To Mrs Megan Born and to the family of Sgt Joshua Born
Sorry for your lost. I know Joshua will always be in your heart. My prayer as I know of million others will be with your family
My heart goes out to Megan. So sorry for your loss. What a horrible way to find out. Prayers are with you and your family!
Megan,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I myself am an Army wife and FRG leader for my husbands unit, we just had the OPSEC briefing, I am so sorry you had been notified the way you were, my deepest condolnences my prayers go out to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Megan
Fort Bragg, NC
Dear Megan,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I Thank you for your service and sacrice to our Great country. May you feel Gods loving arms wrapped ever so tightly around you.
Your Extended Family,
Donna
USAF Veteran & Spouse (deployed)
My sincerest condolences to you, your family, and your friends. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Sincerely,
Kavindra
ARMY Wife
Thanks to all of our military for their sacrifice for our freedom and for keeping us safe!!! You and your families are my hero`s!! May God bless and keep you safe!! To the Born family my condolences to all !!
The out pouring of love on this comment board is overwhelming. God Bless you Mrs. Born. God Bless your family and all of our military men, women, families, and friends. You do not get nearly enough recognition for everything you endure.
God bless you all.
Laura
Philadelphia, PA
Megan, I want to send you our condolences and prayers that God will hold you tight everyday and comfort you.Its sad that people misuse the technology today. My grandson is in the army and we pray everyday for our soldiers. Peace be with you and your family . Marie
Mrs. Born, please accept mine and my family’s condolences on the loss of your brave husband, Sgt. Joshua Born. All our military men and women stand their post, and say “take care my fellow American; you are safe while I stand my post". Unfortunately, some of our brave Soldiers, Airmen/women, Sailors, and Marines pay the ultimate price to keep that promise. We as Americans are safer because of the sacrifices our men and women of our Armed Forces AND THEIR FAMILIES make on a daily basis. May GOD hold you and your family close, and may GOD'S hand be upon every service member and their families, past, present, and those yet to come.
Mrs Born,
I am no longer a military wife. I was an Air Force wife for five years during the Vietnam war. My husband was a pilot and had the honor of bringing the troops home. My heart breaks to hear of your loss. I had the experience of having to learn of my husbands death by phone. He was the Captain for Continental bringing
in a flight from Brussels when he suffered a heart attack at the controls and died in flight. The media knew right away and because I live two hrs from the airport and it was already breaking on TV,so they had to call and tell me. We live now in a world that all news is "instantaneous" and there is a lot of good and bad in that. The media bombarded me when I went to Newark to bring him home. It was on every front page and News channel. I can not help but cry to realize how you felt. I read about the support and hope they wrap you in their arms and prayers. I thank you and your family for the great gift you have given to me and our country and pray you find some peace in time.
Lynda Lenell
Former Air Force Wife
Dear Megan, I like all the others who wrote before me am so very sorry that we lost your special husband!!! God will walk with you always until you are joined again in heaven. I have such pain for you and will pray for you and your wonderful husband at Sunday Mass for the rest of my life!!!
Mrs. Born I'm am very Sorry for your lose! I'm sure Josh was a great husband and that you miss him So.
I know it's hard to look on the bright side with loosing Josh,But remember he is with you! And know that the Military will help take care of you! May God be with you always!!!!!!!
Former Army PFC
Nyno Wallace
Megan and family. We are so sorry for your loss. My husband is a veteran of the USMC and served in Viet Nam. I know the loneliness and the worry that you went through. I was the lucky one and my husband came home. We will be making a donation in honor of your Josh and remembering you and your family in our prayers. God bless you and help you through this greiving time. I am sure Josh is with you and is your special angel.
Dear Megan:
I want to convey my deepest condolences for the loss of your husband and all that his passing means to you at this moment and the moments to come. May God comfort you during this time of loss and grief. I am thankful that the military has extended its arms of love and compassion to your family. May God surround you with His presence and peace. I am praying for you.
Victoria Stuard
I Don't know how I would feel one way or another if I was in Megan's Shoes…Getting notice from a Stranger dressed in a Uniform at my front door Weeks later than the fact…Or if a Fellow soldier of my Soldier FB me in a message to let me know, Right then…I'd want to know right away I think…Then I can grieve before all the Ceremonial Respect….But everyone is different…I think it depends on the Situation…No Way is An Easy Way To Tell Someone that a Loved One was Killed in Action…So Sorry for the Loss of Your Loved One…God Bless Joshua and His Family…Thank You Joshua for Your Sacrifice…Don't Blame the One Who Gave The Info To The Family…You Don't Know His Emotions and What He Has to Deal With EVERY-SINGLE DAY…NO One Has A Normal Life Over There ~ Please Keep This In Mind…God Bless All OUR Soldiers and Help Them Make The Right Decisions That Are Pleasing To God In Heaven…NOT The Media…!!! (<3)