Military Family Employment Advocate Melissa King says that the biggest mistake spouses make when it comes to employment is letting their skills lapse completely. “I was a stay home mom, too. And there is always something you can do,” says Melissa. Cleaning floors endlessly doesn’t not have to be that something.
I know what she means. Some of the best advice I ever got as a stay-home mom was to be selective in the way I spent my volunteer hours. An older spouse told me, “Save your volunteering for something you want to do when you grow up.” She thought people who wanted to be professional organizers should organize stuff. People who want to be employed at a school should volunteer at a school. People who want to be brain surgeons should spend a lot of time reading up on brain surgery.
I didn’t want to do any of those things. So I volunteered on Classmate magazine in Monterey. I wrote newsletters for the ship in Sasebo. I wrote some volunteer news stories for the base paper. I avoided brain surgery and my kitchen floor and eventually found my way back to the world of work. I am doing what I like to do. That’s the kind of thing I am hoping every spouse who reads this will find for herself. Eventually is closer than you think.
Navy wife Jacey Eckhart is Editor of SpouseBuzz and author of I Married a Spartan?? The Care and Feeding of Your Military Marriage available on iTunes, Amazon, and on www.jaceyeckhart.com.
About Jacey Eckhart
Comments
Being a military wife for 13 years, taking care of three children and not having a job has been a struggle for me. Ive been an at-home-mom for 13 years. Now that I am trying to get back into working it is very hard and discouraging because no one wants to hire me. Ive been to the family advocate program at our current base. Ive volunteered in the past at hospitals and nothings worked. I dont know if its because the gaps in my employment or If I have too much education and not enough experience. Im at a lost and I dont know what to do. Whether I volunteer or not, I still dont have a job.
Sincerely,
Very Discouraged@Robins AFB, Georgia
This came right on time! As I prepare my family for our next move I am considering working again. I feel as if I am losing my skills as a Social Worker. I have been a stay at home mom with my older son, when he was 3 !/2 I went back to work. Now I have a 2 year old and I feel as though each day I am losing the skills that made me a great Social Worker. A year ago I became a volunteer for The National Military Family Association and it has been a great experience. I don't get to do everything I hoped to for the Association, but at least I feel as though I am doing something and I am challenging myself.
Thank you for the post in regards maintaining job skills. I became an RN in 2005, the same time as our next move. Due to the expense and other criteria, its was discouraging and difficult to get my licensing. However I did try to maintain my skills by joining the Red Cross and volunteering. Unfortunately, in the medical field, volunteers have limitations on which skills you are able to carry out. In the mean time i took up a "temporary" library aid job around the corner from where we live to make ends and its now 7 years since i qualified as an RN. I feel the social workers anguish about loosing sight of your career skills.