Top Ten Teen What Not To Wear

Top Ten

All military children are not sweet little babies clutching miniature American flags in their adorable fists. At a recent SpouseBuzz LIVE even in San Diego, CA, a group of moms reminded us that one in five military kids are teenagers.  And parenting those teenagers during deployment is making these moms crazy before their time.

Inspired by our What Not To Wear To A Military Ball list, these moms put together a What Not To Wear list for their slightly exasperating teenage daughters.

1. If the heels of your shoes can be used as a weapon, they shouldn’t be worn to school.

2. The only cheeks showing should be the ones on your face, Sweetheart. Really.

3. If you are showing more than 80% of your skin, you should be at the beach, the beach and only the beach.

3. Look in the mirror and ask yourself:  Would you wear that to Grandma’s house?

4. I see London, I see France, I don’t want to see your underpants.

5. Bras belong under clothes, hence the reason they are sold in the “underwear” section of the store.

6. Unless starring in a movie by Tim Burton, use make-up sparingly.

7. The phrase ‘less is more’ does not actually  apply to a teen’s wardrobe.

8. If you want me to take you shopping and help you pick out everything you own right down to your Smurf-themed high-rise briefs, keep buying that too-sexy stuff when I’m not around.

9. Unless you are actually a dead ringer for Catherine Bach circa 1979, avoid Daisy Dukes.  Trust me on this.  I know.

10. You are the most beautiful girl in the world.  You live in a time where sexiness on the outside is equated with worth on the inside.  Your dad and I think you are so much more than that.  And we always will.

Editor’s Note:  SpouseBuzz LIVE participants  Shan Tyson, Isabel Antinarelli, Maria Labastida, Barb Stewart, and Claudia Boyer contributed to this post.  BTW all of them were smart, gorgeous, younger-looking-than-their-years and clearly loved their daughters completely.


About the Author

Jacey Eckhart
Jacey Eckhart is the former Director of Spouse and Family Programs for Since 1996, Eckhart’s take on military families has been featured in her syndicated column, her book The Homefront Club, and her award winning CDs These Boots and I Married a Spartan?? Most recently she has been featured as a military family subject matter expert on NBC Dateline, CBS morning news, CNN, NPR and the New York Times. Eckhart is an Air Force brat, a Navy wife and an Army mom. Find her at

10 Comments on "Top Ten Teen What Not To Wear"

  1. In this house, 3 of the six military kids are teens…and one of those is male. The male version should cover things like not wanting to see the underwear, that the WAISTBAND of pants was designed to go at the WAIST, not halfway down the thighs, that belts help accomplish this, as does acquiring pants in the correct size, that "wife-beaters" are not appropriate attire, EVER….

    For the females in the house, you've covered most of the points very well….

  2. I think #10 should be #1 with all others following that. My wife and I rasied 1 boy and 2 girls. One of the girls pushed our buttons and the limits, but we never bought or allowed her to buy clothes that exposed more than it should. They did have a few skirts just above the knee and we even let them wear short shorts (so long as the wrong cheeks didnt show) and we or they were going to be somewhere appropriate like the beach and such. As parents it was OUR responsibility to ensure they dressed appropriately. I know at times our kids resented us and were even dare I say mad at us. However, my wife and I were not trying to be their best friend, we were trying to be the best PARENTS we could be. The fact that we were friends with our children was a bonus.

    I once remember attending a parent meeting at the beggining of the school year where the dress code was covered. One of the parents got up and asked who determines a violation (indicating the teacher should not have that power). The administration replied the student would be sent to the office and the principal would make the determination. My thought was it is YOUR responsibility NOT the school!!! YOU the PARENT know the rules, so YOUR child should not leave the house dressed wrong.

    • A parent can make sure the kid leaves the house dressed appropriately, but often the kid changes on the way to a destination or at the destination. I had told my daughter that she is not to wear spaghetti strap tops with bra straps and the tops of the bra cups showing while she is in public and if I catch her like that I will throw away the spaghetti strap tops. I showed up at her outdoor marching band practice and she had taken off her t-shirt and was in the inappropriate clothing. When we got home I immediately found the offending tops and threw them in the garbage. She was shocked that I followed through with it, but she loves to keep pushing the limits and sometimes it takes something drastic to get the point across. It baffles me that she would think that walking around like that looks appealing or sexy.

      • It's okay. She'll grow out of it… hopefully. I'm a teen – only thirteen – and I can honestly say that if someone tells you to do (or not to do) something that you already knew you were to do (or not to do) it can be irritating and make you want to do the opposite. I know when my mom or dad tells me I'm to do or dress in a way that it's obvious they want me to, I am annoyed that they think my brain is too small to remember it. I know that's not the case, but sometimes I just do want to prove a point. Like, "If I'm going to keep hearing about ___, I might as well." or "I'm my own person.". It's kinda like they are reinforcing an urge when constantly speaking on it whether they put it in a positive or negative light.

        • I'd try subtle reverse psychology or just keeping mum. Don't be too blatant, lie or suddenly contradict your previous mannerisms, but maybe an "I like the torquoise color of that top. I bet this white shirt would contrast it great." as she's going out the door. If she disagrees don't put up a fight about it. Also if you really want to make a point you could dress in trashy provocative clothes one day to pick her up or something. As much as you'll embarass yourself I guarantee you'll embarass her more.

  3. You mean "Top Ten Female Teen What Not to Wear", because yet again we are strictly focusing on female bodies as worthy of censure and not male bodies.

  4. My daughter had a strapless bra and she had like a kinda crop top but it's way above her belly button so one day It was picture day and she has a boyfriend so I picked out what to wear because I knew she would pick out the bra and crop top. So I gave her the close and they where form pink and I said ok so your wearing these and she said NO I'm wearing my crop top I don't care what u say So I took her phone away until she put on what I gave her and she did put she took her crop top to school so I have her the phone and when I got her school picture I say her shirt she was really embarrassed to show her whole family cousins uncles aunts everyone

  5. I can't wait until she has a daughter like her. I know my mom is holding back the laughs when I tell her about the latest WTF moments I have when dealing with my daughter.

  6. Her first is due in April :-)

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