Dear Tom: Stop Confusing Your ‘Deployment’ With the Real Deal


Editor’s note: Tom Cruise was widely reported as having equated his time on a movie set away from his child with the hardships of being deployed to Afghanistan. However, since those quotes were released Nov. 8 further investigation by reporters such as this one show that what he said may have been taken way out of context. “Tom is a staunch supporter of our troops and does not feel that making a movie is even remotely comparable to fighting in Afghanistan and said so in plain English,” Cruise’s lawyer said in a statement.

Clearly, there’s no “Method” to Tom Cruise’s madness. I know all about the concept of Method Acting, but really — this takes the cake on the absurdity scale.

So, Tom, here are a few tips for you to clue you in on how far off the reality mark you are with your recently reported statement that being on a movie set is like being a soldier deployed to Afghanistan.

Why movie filming is nothing like deployment:

1. A movie set is not a war zone. The absence of the aroma of burning fecal matter should be the tip off.

2. No one is trying to kill you on a movie set. Those are fake guns, dude. And fake IEDs. And fake insurgents. You should know this when you pass them in the catering tent.

3. You can’t hop a jet whenever you want from Afghanistan to go to Scientology events if you’re a deployed soldier.

4. Deployed  soldiers don’t get paid tens of millions of dollars to go to Afghanistan.

5. The “brutality” of your film set is luxurious compared to FOB accommodations. Did you have your own private toilet there? I thought so.

6. Did you get to shower everyday with actual hot water that lasted more that 17 seconds? I thought so.

7. You say you called Suri every day. Must be nice to have consistently operating phone lines, no fatality comms black outs, and not be out on patrol for days on end preventing you from any kind of communication with anyone except your fellow squad members and the random stray goat.

8. I know you said you would have come home for Suri’s first day of school if “she had asked.” Well, deployed Soldiers can’t even come home for the birth of their kids, much less their first day of school, no matter how much a wife or child begs them to. So- how nice that you could have if she’d wanted you to. I’m actually starting to see why she wouldn’t….

9. Did anyone on your movie set go there and come back in a flag-draped coffin, or come back missing a limb or suffering the effects of TBI? Yeah —  didn’t think so.

10. There’s nothing you have done, could do or will ever do that’s as honorable, selfless, or noble as what a deployed servicemember does for this nation. Period. End of story.

So, I hope you can see the vast and marked differences between your job and my husband’s. I know you’ve played a servicemember before, but I think you’re misunderstanding the whole Method Acting thing.

Just because you play a warfighter doesn’t make you a warfighter. That may be hard for you to remember, but there are plenty of us spouses out here to remind you of that fact.

Sorry, Maverick — we’ve lost that lovin’ feeling. For good this time.


“Ansley” is an Army spouse and resides in Alexandria, Virginia






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  • selaine4tn

    Okay, no, not buying it.

  • Ophiolite

    So showed that this was a click-baiting maneuver by TMZ. Tom Cruise may be an ass but he didn’t compare himself to a service member.

    • Amy_Bushatz

      Like we noted in our editor’s note :-)

      • Thomas

        Then how about taking down this story?

  • Nelson

    Top Gun?….more like Top Punk. Total disrespect to our PTSD veterans and our troops,

  • sabrinacking

    Well hey, all I can say is at least he had the guts to come out and rebut someone slandering him using his name unlike the author of this piece…

  • sabrinacking

    If you’re going to write a puff piece attacking someone for a misquote you could at least have the integrity to use your name….”Ansley”.

  • guest

    uh there’s no fire here just a lot of smoke…but I commend the spouse for her attempt.

  • Ansley

    1. There’s nothing slanderous here. For one thing, slander is verbal accusation. What you are referring to is libel.

    2. There’s nothing libelous here. Libel is libel 1) n. to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie.

    In this case, what was initially reported, and to which I addressed prior to the “clarification,” issued by his attorney, was fair game for comment. The libel- which really, under libel law, there is none- would have been committed by TMZ, the initial source, not any of the news outlets or subsequent blogs, comments, articles resulting from it. SpouseBuzz noted the discrepancies of interpretation of the testimony released subsequently, annotating the post above was written prior to the release of such material.

    3. Know the law before you accuse others of breaking it.

    This post was written as a funny response to a ridiculous string of comments released in a public document where Tom Cruise did in fact agree his separation from his child felt like a deployment. That is not disputed. What IS disputed is that he compared himself to a deployed Soldier in others aspects.

    Many outlets published similar posts and responses- the Duffle Blog being one of the saucier and entertaining ones. Google that one for a good laugh!

    Take this in the spirits it was written (and written prior to the statement of clarification from the attorney, mind you) – it’s a roast of an arrogant actor who should have never equated one iota of his existence to that of a deployed service member. When asked the question if he likened being separated from his daughter for work to that of a deployed Soldier beimg separated from their child, the respectful response should have been a simple, “No.”

    • guest

      Of course rather than getting all panties in a bunch about people calling you out, you could do the responsible thing and take the post down.
      But let’s face it, you clearly aren’t going to do that. So, that means you need to be willing to take the fire coming at you for making a ridiculous argument in response to something someone never even said.
      If you can’t take the heat, get out the fire.

      • jacey_eckhart

        Guest: Our company policy is that we do not take posts down. Instead, we add to the original post so that you can see what the mistake was and make your own judgement. That’s why the Editor’s Note is now prominently included at the top of this post.

        • Guest

          I think that’s crazy Jacey you can erase comments but not posts what sense does that make? Serious question.

    • sabrinacking

      I just find it extremely ironic that someone would write a piece supposedly accusing someone else of usurping the honor, integrity, courage and bravery displayed by service members….while doing so anonymously, or pseudonymously at best. Your anonymity, allows you to usurp accountability. Thereby making you exactly 100% guilty of that which you are prescribing to this actor, who clearly needs to choose his analogies better.

      • Ansley

        Writing under a pseudonym has been a practice for centuries in order to allow expression outside the normal scope of the author’s usual work. It’s has nothing to do with integrity or accountability. It’s has to do with the separation of professional practice and leisure writing. If I was avoiding accountability, I wouldn’t take the time to respond to the comments. I’m also making no claims to equality to another profession clearly not equitable to mine. So, I’m not really sure why you have so much hostility about this- if you were Tom Cruise I could understand your “outrage,” but really- is writing under a pseudonym THAT offensive to you? Perhaps you should write Dear Abby- oh, whoops! Another person who wrote under a pseudonym. ;)

        • sabrinacking

          You are still using your pseudonym while commenting. Integrity, look it up.

          • Ansley

            Yes, I am. Because using the pseudonym to write it, and not using it to reply to comments would defeat the purpose, would it not? Lmao! You’re funny. :)

            Full Definition of INTEGRITY

            : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility

            Using a pseudonym is a clearly recognized modus operandi in the world of art and literature. And using one has very little to do with integrity- ask Stephen King- if the person uses integrity in response to criticism- Which I have done by continuing to respond to the questions and criticisms surrounding this post. And that’s really all there is to say- I think you’ve expressed your thoughts and I, mine, and we’ve said pretty much all there is to say. :)

    • Mamatoni6

      Like another commenter said if you can’t take the heat get out of the fire! You wrote this post based off of the “reputable” TMZ article. That should have been your first clue to pick another topic. Then you claim it was written as a funny response or as a roast, which is suppose to be comical. The obvious bashing you did is anything but a funny response. You may not be committing liable, but you are walking that same line as TMZ, with the same lack of ethic and integrity to do your homework before you write. Fine, you claim it was written before the clarification came out, then own up to your ridiculing post instead of chasing your tail trying to save face, you’ll at least get some respect for that. Writers often use a pseudonym, but writing a post and comments under one when bashing someone is pretty pathetic, especially when trying to compare yourself to the likes of Stephen King. Now that is ROFLMAO!

  • Ansley

    Well, I didn’t post it, so I can’t very well take it down now, can I? Which is why I addressed the comments above stating it had been written and submitted PRIOR to the clarification. I have zero control on when something is posted here- that is at the discretion of the Web site and SpouseBuzz editors.

    So, as stated above- it was written and submitted when the initial story broke, and published after the clarification. I didn’t have my psychic hat on this weekend, so you’ll have to forgive me for addressing a timely topic that got published in an out of timeframe manner and after new I for,action was released. I addressed it and explained it. That’s the extent of what I can do at this juncture.

  • Ansley

    – after a news clarification was released. iPad typo!

  • Nelson

    OMG…please accept my apology for what I wrote. I should have checked up on the real story. I feel horrible for my comment. The truth
    is Tom Cruise is a outstanding actor. Please forgive me. I should have known better to believe what was posted without doing my homework.

  • Shari

    I lost a lot of respect for SpouseBuzz posting gossip. If it’s not true, take it down & post an apology, rather than leaving it as is, with an “editor’s note.”

    I’m sure you thought that your “roast” would be taken in a different manner, but as it is, it looks to me more like someone who is sensationalizing a story in hopes of being published.

  • StarlaRose

    I expected more from SpouseBuzz. You guys dislike drama that comes from our community between spouses, but are turning a blind eye to something like this. All that comes with this ‘article’ is drama. This is not a satire website like the DuffleBlog. Adding an editor’s note does not negate the fact that it’s just shameful, inaccurate and wrong. Nothing written by the author is funny, informative or helpful. In fact it’s downright distasteful, drama filled and frankly insulting.

  • Guest

    Just wanted to show that SpouseBuzz wasn’t the only outlet to publish a similar opinion piece on the same day- y’all can hate on and be soooo disappointed HuffPost as well- who also didn’t remove the story. As far as bagging on the writer- she said she wrote it and submitted before the follow-up stuff came out. Meaning before anyone else knew any different. CNN, NBC, Fox and AP all ran the same story calling him out- SpouseBuzz isnt alone and neither is this writer, and the editor’s note clearly spells out what the deal is. To quote a great movie: Lighten up, Francis. It’s a BLOG, not the freaking Bible.