As every military spouse knows, the “military” part of your life doesn’t just affect your service member. It affects your whole life, too.
And these 21 ways sum it up… completely.
1. Because somehow “going to the grocery store” isn’t what it used to be. As a military spouse, you know, commissary time means mentally preparing yourself for a line so long it rivals Santa’s.
What? The line goes all the way back to dairy? Noooo… that doesn’t EVER happen.
2. Especially on payday. It’s always a breeze to go to the commissary then.
Don’t even think about parking.
3. But obviously that’s when you’re fighting all this traffic just to realize you lost your ID.
4. So you have to get a new one. Because trying to get two toddlers to behave themselves while waiting in this line is SO EASY.
5. It makes dealing with Tricare look fun. Which is good, really, because SOMETHING needed to make Tricare look fun. On the bright side, at least there’s decent maternity care? I mean, that is if you don’t count those breast pumps you don’t get. Or any help finding a doula who might lending a helping hand if you’re delivering alone. Or any other non-standard birth plan besides delivering in a hallway because every single delivery room is full.
Ohhhhh but cute little military baby! (There is NOTHING CUTER than a man in uniform holding a new baby. NOTHING.)
6. But back to the good part… At least there IS Tricare maternity coverage. Because everyone knows all we ever do is have babies.
Oh, my bad. Wrong image. I meant:
Because really, with all that free time you have, obviously the only things you ever have to do are eat, make babies, and wait for another hazard pay to come down the line.
8. It’s not like you’re busy doing this.
9. Or this.
10. Or this.
12. Or making these.
13. I mean, you’re definitely not doing this.
Military spouses aren’t educated! And we certainly NEVER manage to hold down jobs of our own… <cough, cough, eye roll>
14. But really, when you’re not wrangling your way through a PCS, TDY, deployment, or whatever else the military throws at you, while managing family life as the Must Have Parent, or the long-distance spouse, girlfriend, or partner, it’s almost impossible not to put your own life on hold – even if it is just for a little while.
Which is fine, all things considered, because you’re probably used to it. You’re used to having to change around dates and roll with it.
15. You know how to do this because you had to deal with it when it came to setting a date for your own wedding.
16. If you even got to have one.
17. And don’t get us started on the honeymoon… what honeymoon? Wait, what? Civilians can actually plan and schedule trips that have nothing to do with moving across country or reuniting after a year apart?
I can’t imagine this. I have no honeymoon to remember.
18. But we get to travel too. And when we finally do, it’s to someplace super charming. Like a roadside inn on a PCS.
Nothing says romance like highway noise.
19. Or maybe you actually GOT to schedule something, a real vacation. Most likely it’s now something for your kids, in gratitude for putting up with all the deployments and missed birthdays and military life drama. So you take them someplace cool… like Disney.
Where obviously, you stay here.
20. But don’t worry, at least you’ve got one thing on Cinderella:
WE OWN ALL THE GOWNS.
21. Who are we kidding? Really, we’ve got two things on her: We’ve got Prince Charming, too.
(But not Princess Charming. If your spouse is a female service member, let’s be realistic. She’s probably a lot more like Wonder Woman.)
Ahh… the joys of military life. #mostofthetime